A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I'm a young guy with an extremely noticeable receding hairline. I'm cool with shaving my head, I think it's comfortable and looks alright on me..but my gf hates! She makes me grow my hair out and it looks ridiculous. Am I wrong for shaving my head even though my gf prefers it long? Also my girlfriend constantly insults the shape of my head and the way I look bald..it really brings me down..she just doesn't understand my dilemma. "grow your hair out like it was 5 years ago, you look stupid" ughhhh i argue with her so frequently over this, and i'm sick of her nagging me. thanks for reading my vent. All advice is appreciated Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the input everyone, I didn't expect so many people to be on my side. You really cleared my mind! I'm going to stop putting up with her complaints and hopefully she becomes more supportive!
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (24 May 2014):
 As a head shaver myself I say go for it! I used to have long hair as a younger guy but I had to spend most of my life trying to manage it. Plus long hair made me look adolescent.
Now my hair is thinning and receding a bit so I shave it. Some men are sensitive about hair loss and your GF needs to appreciate that with a receding hairline you may want to hide it with a shaven head.
She sounds very shallow.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 May 2014):
 I vote for shaving your head and losing your GF. She is a total cow about this. She is more caught up in your looks then who you are, and that is sad and shallow.
Hair or no hair, YOU are YOU regardless of how much hair you have on your head.
Personally, I don't LIKE when my husband doesn't shave his face (I have pretty sensitive skin and a good snog makes me look like I have a red Santa beard on my face) HOWEVER, I know that since he retired he LIKES to not have to shave 2 daily and I can't blame him. So... I let him grow his beard til HE gets tired of it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2014): Well don't blame her when the sex starts becoming less and less frequent ;).
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2014): I would keep your hair the way you like it and feel most comfortable with. I think maybe even a longer short cut might do the trick too. She is being nasty/abusive to insult you this way, expressing an opinion or preference is one thing but trying to bully you to change it is wrong. You need to tell her this and decide if it's time to find a new gf.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 May 2014):
 I vote for shaving. Your head. You do as you want. I was inclined to say you should also keep the gf happy and be considerate, but that flew out the window when I read how bitchy she is. Sorry for the language, just speaking the truth.
Shave your head, and then consider wheter this is the right gf for you, if she's such a b****. A decent person, never mind a supposedly loving gf, does not intentionally insult and pull down a person like that.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (24 May 2014):
 My girlfriend has amazingly beautiful, long hair (almost down to her ass) and I LOVE it long like that. I think it's gorgeous. However, she cuts it short and donates it roughly every year or so. I don't prefer it shorter, but I certainly can't imagine putting her appearance down. I would think she's beautiful no matter what, even if she shaved her head like you lol. Plus she does it for a noble cause, so I can't knock her for that.
My point being that your gf has no right putting you down and insulting you like that. She can have a say in the matter, of course, and let you know how she prefers it, but it's ultimately up to you to make the decision you're most comfortable in your own skin with.
If I were you, I'd let her know that her insults are offensive and hurtful to you and that you respect her opinion but it's your final say. Ask her to please keep her hurtful opinions to herself.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (24 May 2014):
 No, you aren't wrong for shaving your head. You should do what makes YOU most comfortable.
It's one thing for her to prefer you with long hair. She can't help what she finds attractive. However, insulting you over it is just plain wrong.
I think it's time to find someone who will appreciate you the way you are. There are plenty of women out there who like (and even prefer) bald men.
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (24 May 2014):
 Ah...your girlfriend doesn't sound like a keeper. You should be who you are and do what makes you feel happy and confident. I know that a receding hairline is a very sensitive subject for many men and its just not cool for a women to make a guy feel bad about it. I have a 26 year old son and I know he worries about it and has started wearing a baseball cap around now. He and I can joke about it, but I know he's be really hurt if his girlfriend made remarks about it.
Please remember that what is attractive to one isn't attractive to another and you don't need a girl in your life who doesn't appreciate you as you are. Its all about attitude you know and there are some sexy men out there who are proud of their heads without hair. Be one of them! Theres too many women who would love you just as you are happy being sweetie. I wouldn't like my guy to tell me to cut my hair or grow my hair long..I do what I like and what makes ME happy. If the guy doesnt like me as I am...its goodbye.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 May 2014):
 It's one thing to express an opinion about your partner's choice in haircuts or other fashion choices, but it's another to humiliate, shame, or put them down just because you don't like how it looks.
She has crossed the line from expressing an opinion to being downright cruel. You have gone through enough trauma on your own with your receding hairline, which it sounds like you really are upset about. She's pouring salt on the wound by nagging you, constantly insulting your appearance, and not listening to your reasons, and most of all not respecting your decisions.
Seriously, her behavior is not cool and it is immature and hurtful. Stand up for yourself and tell her that she either needs to knock off the nagging and hurtful comments, or there's the door. Hopefully she'll realize how much her comments are hurting you and damaging your relationship.
As a side note, I'll tell you, don't fret about your hairline one bit. I bet your head looks great shaved, and guys without hair are extremely hot. Do what makes you feel good about yourself, which unfortunately may boil down to removing her from your life. Let's hope she wakes up before it gets to that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (24 May 2014):
 Yeah I like long hair to but if you want it short she will have to learn to love you with a bald head also.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2014): Sounds like it's time to find a new girlfriend.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 May 2014):
 Tell her you will grow your hair (her preference), if she will shave hers (your preference).
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2014): She may not be physically attracted to you any more, but that's her problem, not yours.
If she puts you down about it, she's not a good girlfriend. Simple as that. Your choice to make moving forward.
...............................
|
