A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've recently started having sex with a guy I've been dating for a few months. We kiss well and make out well. The passion is definitely there. However, there are times, when he is inside me, I can't feel him. Yet, there are times I do feel him. Why is that? He is regular sized, not small nor big. I do use a vibrator about once a week. What do I do when I don't feel him? I don't want to fake it, and I don't want to stop. I want him to enjoy it too as he does appear to be enjoying it. Thanks for all of your advice!
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 May 2014):
 Its the position. You just need to change positions. Maybe you get too wet for that position... Its all about the right amount of friction you know. And trust me, if you dont feel him, he doesnt feel much either.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 May 2014):
 Surprisingly, you are in the majority when it comes to stimulation by intercourse. Most women cannot or do not have an orgasm through the act of intercourse itself. There are many factors which are into play, including the size and shape of the penis, the guy's skill, the position itself, the woman's anatomy, and the woman's state of relaxation. There are very few nerve endings in the vagina itself, so it's not surprising you don't feel him there in a way that stimulates you sufficiently. The clitoris is similar in parallel to the penis, and while the penis is receiving full stimulation, the clitoris may not be. If a guy were expected to have an orgasm simply through stimulation of the scrotum without touching the shaft of the penis in any way, it would become much more difficult and guys would have more of an idea of why most women don't enjoy PIV sex the way a man does.
The whole clitoral vs. vaginal orgasm issue is a myth. All orgasms are clitoral. Even those who can orgasm through vaginal stimulation do it because the clitoris is being indirectly stimulated through the G spot.
Try positions that rock the penile shaft across your clitoris, and he should learn ways to stimulate you to orgasm before his penis goes anywhere near the vagina itself. Oral, fingers, grinding, sex toys like your vibrator, all of it should be in play. A guy who feels threatened if his penis isn't THE tool to bring a girl to orgasm is a horrible lover.
Incorporate a lot more technique in the bedroom, and make it clear for your guy that you need more than thrust, ejaculate, repeat.
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