A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can this really happen? You know in films where a couple can't keep their hands off each other and they basically attack each other. Does anyone have this? Is it real or is it just for the drama? Most the time form what I can remember the sex I've had has been planned and not spontaneous. I'd love to meet a man who can't keep his hands off me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 May 2014):
 I agree with Aunty Cindy.
It does happen. I had it with my first BF (for about 3 out of the 4 1/2 years) and with my husband for maybe the first 3-4 years? It's tapered off some, but I think it's to be expected after almost 19 years together. We still hold hands when out, we often touch when passing each other (no groping and not a prelude to sex). And I'm NOT a touchy feely kind of person.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 May 2014):
 It's not just in the movies, it does happen IRL. Mind you, I am not saying that it also lasts forever ( it tapers down in time , the novelty wears off ), or that's a sign of great compatibility or great love, it's mostly a sign, as Chigirl says, of strong physical chemistry and just horniness. But it happens.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 May 2014):
 It happens. I had it with two of my exes, actually, lucky me. So I know it's for real. But mostly I think it comes down to chemistry and horniness. I imagine you need to be a very sexual person just about to burst, and crazily in love, in order to just jump one another at random moments.
But, in those relationships where we had amazing sex, we also had planned sex. Not every time was spontaneous.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2014): Maturity should have taught you the difference between fantasy and reality. Many people think they want someone who can't keep their hands off. Yet we get posts from people who complain when it happens too much. They tire of being pawed by their lovers.
Then when it calms down, they're here whining about it. I have no pity for them. It was inevitable that the pawing would end, or slow down anyway. They'll start to miss it, and realize it was all in fun.
Some people are very tactile and physical about showing affection. The origins of this behavior can vary. If they are mismatched with the wrong partner, it will drive the less-affectionate type nuts.
I love affectionate people, and I love people who appropriately express their feelings with touch. My choice of sex-partners are those who like kissing, caressing, and foreplay. Not when they want to do it on a public street, or a subway full of people. Seriously?!!!
Initially in new relationships, there is a lot of sexual tension and attraction. The relationship may start at a fever-pitch, but it will plateau. No one can keep this up indefinitely. There is more to the relationship than just the sex and physical aspect.
For it to be meaningful, there has to be an emotional exchange. This isn't always expressed through touch. Touch is a good expression; but when it is backed up with actions and sincere words that reinforce the feelings aside from sex; you know you've got the real thing.
I've seen a lot of public displays of affection, I've participated in relationships that were strongly sexual.
I don't like making-out in public. I do like stealing a kiss or grabbing a body-part; if we think no one is looking. It builds sexual arousal, and the spontaneity reinforces your attraction to your partner. I think that's what you're talking about. Some naughty action to let you know he's hot for you. You want it in generous supply.
A swat on the fanny, a kiss behind the neck, nibbling an ear. Rubbing your back, squeezes, and arms around your waste? You mean you want a lot of affection. That is more realistic.
A lot of "groping" is not. That will become annoying. Trust me!!!
Reality always settles in. Always. I often remind OP's not to base their relationships or romantic expectations on Hallmark-cards, romance novels, or movies. They create foolish and unrealistic concepts of love, relationships, and human attraction.
Stupid terminologies like "soul-mates" and "the only one." "Unconditional love," is a popular one. Logically, giving love and expecting it back, is a condition. Continuance of that flow of love depends on getting it back! Even for animals. They love you as long as you're kind. Be mean, and they may bite the hand that feeds them! Cats being the exception to the rule, may bite or scratch you regardless.
People may be hot and heavy, and totally horny when they first come together. Then there comes the point in that connection when the head wants to know where it all is leading. The mind tends to grow used to things; and the intensity of our response to stimuli will level-off or wear-off. It will start to become less frequent. Even stop altogether, with flare-ups in-between. Normally the chemistry becomes unpredictable. In this case, it keeps it fresh.
Some people are turned on by performing public displays of affection, and there is the appearance they can't keep their hands off each other. It's all illusion for attention; and part of what stimulates their sexual attraction. That's pure exhibitionism. They're showing off, and counting on the gullibility of those who believe they can't be around each other without jumping each others bones, and swallowing each others tongues. When you see it, you can count on the fact the relationship is fairly new; or they're cheating.
Set realistic expectations, and you'll find what you need and deserve. If you find a guy who is generous with his affection, you're on the right track.
"Gropers" are pigs, and you'll get sick of being treated like that. Fantasy-wise, it seems desirable. The live experience doesn't measure-up to the fantasy. Careful what you wish for, you just might get it!
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (19 May 2014):
 Yes I have experienced this before. I agree with female reader anonymous...It really depends on the man. I've had lovers who preferred to plan and take their time with the act, and I've had lovers who walked in the door, ripped my clothes off and we went at it like animals. Both approaches are pleasurable, but I prefer to be spontaneous. I've even been the aggressor.
I would suggest that you discuss it with your partner and experiment. It makes things a lot more exciting.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (19 May 2014):
 Hello,
You should never compare your own sex life with the fiction of films. In fact I would advice against comparisons with anyone. AS long as you are happy that's all that matters.
As for films, well, have you ever seen a film where the smoking hot, Hollywood A-lister couldn't perform? A movie where the hunky hero gets laughed at because of the size of his man hood? Or a scene where the stunning, beauty has forgotten to sort out her bickini line or asks not to be touched in an area of her body she is self conscious of? Real life isn't like films at all. Especially when it comes to sex! For that reason its unwise to compare scenes from movies with our own sex lives.
For most relationships there are so many things which can effect sex and its spontaneity. Kids, work, worries, stress, neighbours a few inches away...
If your sex life has become too routine or too much like its to a timetable then talk to your partner. Encourage him to surprise you, perhaps by surprising him too. Introduce new things and maybe change your day to day routine to see if that helps too. Sex often changes after having kids or moving in together. Making love when living with a child or children can mean putting it off until certain times when the kids are asleep or out of the way. Couples who had exciting sex lives when living with parents or housemates sometimes find that they loose that excitement when they move in together and can share their bodies at will.
Can a couple attack each other in the way you described? Yes but usually its more about the physical release than an emotional attachment. I mad desire for someones body is not the same as loving that person. That's not to say long term lovers can act in that way, but its more often at the early, lustful, excited part of a relationship IMO.
Mark
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2014): it happens. My husband is like this. I think it has a lot to do with his dominant personality when it comes to sex. No, I don't mean hardcore BDSM type dominant, just a slight thing. Basically, in my case it has less to do with me, and more to do with him wanting sex a ton.
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