A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in my early 20s, and now that I'm not in uni and have different social circles a lot of older (not massively, in their 30s) guys seem pretty interested in me.I like some of them for who they are/looks, but I always get turned off by the fact they're more successful. I have a good job lined up starting in September, but I would hate to date someone who'd earned a lot more than me, got multiple postgraduate degrees, etc. I would be more comfortable dating someone equal, around my age. Obviously there will always be things others are good at but a lot of the older guys just seem more ahead in every way.Anyone else like this? Not sure if I'm also suspicious as to why they like me. I get attention from guys my own age too. But with older guys I'm suspicious they just like me because of my looks and don't respect the fact I'm hard working and so on. One of them wouldn't even talk about my job offer with me (we're just friends but he clearly likes me) and I was so excited about it.Am I being too fussy or should I date one of my peers who's more "equal" to me and I feel comfortable with? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 June 2015):
 I think you are allowed to feel however you like, but I don't entirely agree with you.
For a successful guy in his 30's, he might NOT have dated that much in his 20's as he was busy getting those degrees and working for a career (WHERE you are now). They don't see the age-gap as big as you do (for now). I do think you will find guys in their 30's who think a 20 something woman would be "less" complicated then a 30-something woman. So in that I get your suspicion.
Nor does dating a successful guy make you LESS important or less successful. BUT wanting to date someone who is more on YOUR (current) level makes sense too. And also dating someone your own age, again, makes sense. THAT way you two can experience things TOGETHER and GROW together in life and work.
My advice? Don't be solely fixated on their level of success or age, FOCUS on the personality and how well you mesh.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 June 2015):
 I think its best to date someone equal to oneself. No matter what the difference, too much inequality will lead to friction in the relationship. Inequality can lead to lack of respect, shifted power-relations, arguments etc. Its always best to find someone you have more in common with you is your equal.
As for your "friend", he doesnt sound much interested in anything but the exterior, if he didnt give a s**t about something that matters to you . Doesnt sound like much of a friend tbh.
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