A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been with a 64 year old guy who flirts and talks about women constantly (always younger women)! He rarely tells me I'm nice looking (I'm 61), he stares at good looking younger women and likes to hang out at his son's gatherings to be around younger women. When I tell him it's degrading to me, he gets angry and tells me I'm crazy for saying this. Should I dump him? I've brought this up several times how hurtful this is to me but he says it's not true and I'm just jealous. He also tells me I need a breast implant for sagging breasts!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (20 June 2015):
 He sounds horrible! Better to dump his vile ass asap and feel immediately better about yourself than spend another second with him. You will be rewarded for your assertiveness x
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (19 June 2015):
 Hes a f****** loser. Leave him before you lose your self esteem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): I have a very similar problem with my husband who likes to tell me how great younger women's bodies are especially their breasts. I know
That after nursing our four children mine are like a twenty five year olds but I used to think they were ok . Trust me get out while you can
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2015): When I read this I toggle between pity and contempt for this 'man'. My best advice to you - knowing that you are for sure gonna dump this fella pronto - is to find a magazine or online article on sagging testicles in older men and what can be done about it. Just cut out or print off the article and hand it to him - then leave for good.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 June 2015):
 I agree with Ciar.
He is degrading himself more then anyone else. And really, why would you be with a man like that? He sounds like a delusional old windbag.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2015): Get out like yesterday.He is an abuser.This is textbook on how they start out.Next he will just push you a little bit...then comes the black eyes,broken limbs,ribs etc.Right now he is working on destroying your self esteem..and it is working..reread your letter.Then it gets bad once he really hooks you in.You will never be happy with a jerk like that.There are sooo many better men out there and you are a beautiful woman you will find the one that is right for you.Please do not settle for crap when there are diamonds over the horizon.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 June 2015):
 You really need to ask?
He's a specimen. He isn't degrading you or any other women. He's degrading himself carrying on the way he does.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2015): Tell him his BALLS ARE SAGGING!!!!!
At his age, THEY DEFINITELY ARE!!!
Dump his old, pig ass and find yourself a young, hot stud who can show you fireworks in the bedroom.
This guy is in the DECLINE!
Put him out to pasture where he can sit there and drool at all the young ladies who will laugh at him!
Get out there and get yourself a real man!
This guy is a total loser!
I think he needs a reality check!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2015): OMG, what a HORRID thing to say to a woman you are "supposed" to care about! You seriously need to walk and don't look back. Ever!Not only does he compliment and ogle others, he puts you down in a REALLY nasty way. Hits where it can hurt a woman most, the breasts, the symbols of femininity somehow. This man is a low-class screwball. Believe me, only abusers, sociopaths and generally personality-disordered individuals deliberately mess with a person's head like this and there is usually one main reason behind it. He is so lacking in self-esteem himself that he purposefully says and does things to make you feel less than and keep you "on your toes" about his feelings and lowering the bar of your expectations on how he should be treating you.I bet you have spent hours looking in the mirror wondering what is wrong with you? STOP if that is the case and go to a mirror now and say, I love you, you are beautiful and I love my breasts. Every day, several times a day. Treat yourself and take care of yourself, but first, send this idiot a text telling him you don't want to see him again. This type of man doesn't deserve an explanation. Don't even see him face to face, unless you need some stuff of yours back. I sincerely hope you don't live with him. If you do, then start planning a move. For him or for you.No doubt he will pull out all the stops to convince you he loves you and talk bullcrap but don't buy it. Been there, got the tshirt. Trust me it would not matter if you were 21 and looked like a supermodel. He would do it to you then. This is about him, not you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 June 2015):
 "Should I dump him?" Yes; The sooner, the better.....
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 June 2015):
 yeah there is no fixing this guy. Get out before his ridiculous behavior starts effecting your self-esteem. You know you can do much better because the only way is up from here.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2015): My BF is 62. I am 15 years younger than him.He never does this to me.If he did, he would be out the door.He does know what he has! LUCKY GUY!Your BF is insecure. Clearly an aging player or player-wanna be who is having a hard time admitting he is aging. So he will always be on the look out for a conquest to prove to himself that he still "has it." He will never be loyal to you. He will be loyal to his needs first.He wants to bring you down so that you THINK you cannot get better than HIM! He likes to have a sure thing at home while still prowling around the young chicks, hoping maybe he will someday hit the jackpot. He is keeping his options open. Let him keep on dreaming. It is a rare thing that older guys get much younger chicks unless they are rich. So unless your guy has struck oil in his backyard, then I would not worry too much. But you still need to worry nonetheless. His behaviour and words are all red flags.Sorry it isn't what you want to hear but it's the truth. Guys like him are a dime a dozen.Pathetic is what they are. More pathetic? They have no clue how pathetic!Also, sadly a double standard. Men gawk at younger women. Women DO NOT do this to their men. They are not always checking out young guys in their 20s when they are in a relationship. Men, on the other hand, well... you know. Boys will be boys? Again, I will use the word pathetic.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 June 2015):
 Should you dump him? Yes, Yes, Yes~!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2015): Why would you stay with someone who insults your body - telling you that you need implants is just pathetic - and clearly lusts after any younger woman? Does that make you happy? No? Then dump the pathetic, sad man.
I wouldn't even offer an explanation as to why it's over, I doubt it would sink in - or perhaps you could suggest that whilst he think you need implants, there is no replacement for his obnoxious personality even possible so you're out of there.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 June 2015):
 Do you like being treated this way? No? Then you should leave him. Because you can not change him. He'll just continue this act if you continue to stay with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2015): His behaviour is abusive and controlling. He tells you that you are stupid or crazy so that you stay 'confused' and hurt on the topic and he gets away with treating you like this and indulging in his pathetic actions. He is actually quite a sad individual but that is not your problem and shouldn't be. Don't ever, whatever your age, let a man make you feel bad about the way you look. Any decent, well mannered kind and honourable man would treat a woman he cared about with respect and not judgement. Get out of that relationship while you have your sanity in tact.
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