A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with my girlfriend.. I can't imagine life without her. She is everything I could have ever asked for and more. We have only been dating 4 months but it seems like longer. We have known each other for 4 years. I know she is the girl for me and want to marry her.. Is it too soon to ask the question.. I have always had a rule about waiting at least a year.. But this feels so right.. I need help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2016): I have a friend who got engaged after only knowing her partner for a few months. They seem happy and have now been married for a couple of years. Having said that I still think it's too soon. As others have already said, if you ask her too soon there's a definite risk she might say no just because she's not ready. What do you have to loose by waiting? Maybe best to wait until she drops some hints herself
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 March 2016):
 Talk to her about where the relationship is going, get a feel for if she wants marriage etc. After that well then you do what you plan to do, And good luck ??
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 March 2016):
 You may "pop the question" whenever you darn well please.
If she sez "yes," then you and she are on your way. IF, she sez; "Where is the camera? This IS a joke, no?" Then you must understand that you and she are not "on the same page" regarding marriage......
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (4 March 2016):
There is no risk in waiting longer.
There is huge risk in not doing so.
Proceed accordingly.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 March 2016):
 Wait. If she is the one, she will still be the one in 4 more months or 8 more months.
30 is not too old to still have on rose tinted glasses :).And knowing someone as a friend is totally different than knowing someone as a romantic partner and possible lifemate.
Plus, as other posters have mentioned, it may not be too early for you but it may be too early for her. If she is not an impulsive " follow the heart " type , she probably will say no, it's too early to decide, ask me again in a while. Which would not be a tragedy, ok, but still an unnnecessary cold shower.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 March 2016):
 I believe people will tell you to wait. Because, well, generally you're in love big time during the first 6 months of a relationship and have rose tinted glasses on and don't know what's up and down. But, I think you are old enough to KNOW yourself and KNOW what you're looking for and what you want in life. The thing about waiting, I feel it's more for teenagers and young twenties. When you've hit 30, you should be at a point in life where you know yourself and aren't doing things on a whim.
As other aunts on this site have mentioned before (in other posts), marriage isn't about being in love, it's about willingness to commit. If you WANT commitment, and you feel she fits you and you have the same ground ideals of what you both want (want kids, same amount of them, want to live in the same area etc), then I say go for it. Why wait?
Yes, feelings may fade. Yes, you might now know all of her sides. But, one never does. After 50 years one might still not know everything, and what is the point of wasting time if you want to be married to her. There is no point. If you know already, and then choose to wait, you might become frustrated and tired of waiting and the relationship might suffer from it.
But, one good reason to wait with proposing is this one: do you think she might say no? Do you think SHE might find it to be too soon?
I suggest you talk to her about marriage and a future together, just get a feel of where she's at and what she envisions. If you think she's on board, I say propose.
Another thing to keep in mind is that while you propose to her, no one is saying how fast you should get married. You could talk to her about this too, before you pop the question: if you were engaged, how long would you want the engagement period to be? Some like a long engagement period, in which they use the time to work on the relationship and get to know each other even further before doing the big jump. Others want a short engagement period and get married within 6 months. So, just talk to her about these things and figure out where she stands. If you have along engagement period then there's certainly no reason to wait with proposing, as you will have time before the actual wedding to have any "second thoughts" if you were to have them.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 March 2016):
 You haven known her for 4 years, so it goes a little beyond the 4 months of dating, but I would personally, wait a little. At least if you take marriage seriously.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (4 March 2016):
 There are no rules when it comes to love and life...make your own rules, stick to them and hope to goodness that everything works out!
If you feel that she's the "one", then by all means go for it. My now husband asked me to marry him less than a month after he met me! Of course I said no and took my time but it all worked out in the end and he's absolutely sure in his mind even today that he didn't rush into it. He says he knew exactly what he wanted and when he met me, he didn't want to wait a day longer.
Go for it OP, I really hope it all works out for you :)
All the best!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2016): Yes! Way too soon! Wait atleast 12 months to see how things go.
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (4 March 2016):
 Depends I suppose. Everyone is different. My take on it is, if you feel that she is the ONE is there any harm in waiting a bit longer. I mean where is she going if things are going good. You dont want it to be a case of her thinking too much too soon.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (4 March 2016):
 Feels right = go for it. You've known her for 4 years before dating. You sound confident and it seems like she loves you back. Trust your gut ! Timeframe for everyone is different, good luck :)
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