A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend (of 2 years) and i broke up and its been rocky ever since (and by rocky i mean absolutely awful, one second we'll be joking around and then next were screaming at each other), he's now trying to get with one of my closest friends of 10 years. its awful because she has told me nothing will happen with him. I still like him but neither of them know, only my best friend. I obviously still care and don't want him to get hurt. I'm in two mentalities, telling him that she doesn't like him or shall I keep it to myself and let him carry on. i really just want him and i both to be happy, and if he thinks she'll make him happy then i should surely leave it. but i don't want him to be lead on and get hurt. Even though i still have feelings for him, I don't want it to stop him from being able to move on. Do i tell him i still like him or not?? I'm really stuck. thankyou for any avice, I'm having a bit of a nightmare at the moment
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 You need to cut back on the contact you have with your ex. Every relationship, especially the dead ones, need their SPACE. Sounds like you have been in each others faces ever since the breakup, and this is bad for several reasons. The main reason being you aren't able to move on! You still have feelings for him and want him back, despite ending the relationship (indicating that you do not, in fact, want him). But feelings take time to fade, and they do NOT fade unless you STOP SEEING HIM. Back away and dont talk to him, don't meet him, dont see him, don't have anything to do with him. You can be friends or whatever AFTER your feelings for him have faded out. So remove him from facebook and all that and go no contact. The situation with your friend and him liking her will be so much easier to handle once you remove yourself from him.
As for your friend, here's no dictating what she does or doesn't do, but it is within what's reasonable to expect her to not get involved with him until you have gotten over him. You can polite ask, tell her that you're still not over him and that you know he likes her, and that you don't oppose the two of them being together, but it would hurt your feelings if she started up something with him this soon after the breakup.
A
female
reader, prachishah726  +, writes (29 February 2016):
On telling him about your friend, do not. If you do tell him he will understand that you still have feelings for him and might not believe what you say. Also a chance of him thinking that you are trying to sabotage his chance. So it's better you stay out of it. And about your feelings. If you really feel for him, be there for him. In case he gets hurt and you will be there for him. Something might happen for you.In any case, do not end up hurting yourself. Tell him or don't. Just know that everything will be OK and this phase will pass.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (28 February 2016):
 Don't tell him.
He won't believe it coming from you. He'll suspect you're making it up or even trying to sabotage his chances with someone else because you still have feelings for him. This might also give him false hope which may make him more determined to pursue your friend.
You have a vested interest here so any involvement from you will be seen as unnecessary interference by both your friend and your ex.
Bite your tongue and say nothing.
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