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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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If you've already had sex, then which do you think is better - Affection or Sex?
Q. I don't think I want to have sex. I thought I did and I was getting ready to lose my v card soon. But every time I think about sex...I'd say ninety percent of the reason I'd have it is because the guy wants it. I know it sounds stereotypical bu...
A. 3 May 2016: Serpico, I am a woman who can separate love and sex, and let me tell you... Men are NOT good at it. They pretend to, but it's all for show. Almost all of the guys I had a casual hook-up with came coming back wanting more, and I DON'T mean just sex. ... (read in full...)
What do women think of very hairy guys?
Q. What do women think of very hairy guys? Is it a turn off and a major deal breaker when a guy is very hairy on his body? Be honest....
A. 3 May 2016: I think it depends on what is popular in your culture, and then it depends on the particular woman.
I personally do not mind a hairy guy, and the hairier his chest is, the better. I can do without hair on the back (and can do fine with hair the... (read in full...)
Ex' is haunting my dreams
Q. Just trying to understand this situation here. I've been in an relationship for nearly 3 years now and I'm very happy. Looking for a house together soon so things are going well. The concerning thing is i've started having repetitive dream...
A. 3 May 2016: The only part of your question that is relevant here is that you are in a relationship now, and looking for a house together. And that you are dreaming of the ex.
Dreams are symbolic, it is never about the actual people in it. So dreaming about an... (read in full...)
Ex' is haunting my dreams
Q. Just trying to understand this situation here. I've been in an relationship for nearly 3 years now and I'm very happy. Looking for a house together soon so things are going well. The concerning thing is i've started having repetitive dream...
A. 3 May 2016: The only part of your question that is relevant here is that you are in a relationship now, and looking for a house together. And that you are dreaming of the ex.
Dreams are symbolic, it is never about the actual people in it. So dreaming about an... (read in full...)
Hookups where the women only get oral?
Q. Hookups where the women only get oral? I've seen some women mention that they do this online and that it's a mini-trend now, but I wanted to see some stories. What did the guys do or how did they react when you made it clear you only wanted them to ...
A. 3 May 2016: ... I have no idea, never heard of this trend. But on the contrary, I imagine you'd seduce the men into wanting to give you oral. And then go have the fun.
But honestly, I can't answer you on this one, as I would never let a one night stand go... (read in full...)
Do tough guys like it rough too?
Q. Do dominant guys like to be manhandled in bed too? When I usually hear people talk about rough sex they usually only talk about what the guy does to the woman. Are there any guys who aren't submissive who liked to be choked, slapped, or even bruised ...
A. 2 May 2016: Non-submissive people generally do not like to be treated as subs. And people who aren't into bondage or dom/sub generally aren't interested in being slapped around in bed or chocked. "Rough sex" as you call it is BDSM. Its a fetish. Not something ... (read in full...)
If you've already had sex, then which do you think is better - Affection or Sex?
Q. I don't think I want to have sex. I thought I did and I was getting ready to lose my v card soon. But every time I think about sex...I'd say ninety percent of the reason I'd have it is because the guy wants it. I know it sounds stereotypical bu...
A. 2 May 2016: Affection. Sex IS affection for most people, though. Only a very few can separate sex and love. So I don't see it as unusual or odd at all that you are currently more interested in romance. Romance comes first, kissing comes first, and then after a ... (read in full...)
Do his actions suggest that he likes me?
Q. I am 13 and my crush and I room windows face each other so like everyone I look out of mine I see him looking out of his and like he'll close it when he see me looking at him and he keeps doing it My question is: does that mean he lik...
A. 1 May 2016: No.... (read in full...)
What should I do to prevent him from disturbing me?
Q. I’m 25plus and my guy whom am dating 30plus we both love each other so much and there was one of his best male friend he introduced me to, we both went to his house together but after that day my guy thought he is dating him secretly or we’ve know...
A. 1 May 2016: Block the numbers he calls from.
... (read in full...)
Why would my therapists become cold and distant towards me?
Q. I've been in therapy for a 1 1/2. I've had a psychologist and a family therapist who I've grown close to which has given me strength to get to where I am now. However, I've had to be passed onto a psychotherapist because I was having problems...
A. 1 May 2016: Listen, you are in a vulnerable position. When feeling vulnerable, and you give trust to someone, it is so easy to get worried about rejection and feeling like people have turned on you. But, it could all be nothing! One moment of being cold, or ... (read in full...)
Why do guys want intercourse so badly?
Q. Why do they want to have sex so badly? I was skimming the online forums about this; like those pua forums with the creepy guys who do everything they possibly can to get sex. And...I was reading all the replies and different terms, and I want to ...
A. 30 April 2016: Gah, Honeypie, the videos is not available in my country! The "world wide web" of Internet should be called countrynet.... ... (read in full...)
Advice needed, please? Would my subsequent actions be enough for me to get pregnant?
Q. So today I hooked up with this guy and we had oral sex. We didn't have sex. Everything was fine, he ate me and I sucked him till he came on my chest. When we ended, I might have gotten some semen on my fingers since it got on my shirt too, but I ...
A. 30 April 2016: Sperm *can not* swim outside of the body.... (read in full...)
Advice needed, please? Would my subsequent actions be enough for me to get pregnant?
Q. So today I hooked up with this guy and we had oral sex. We didn't have sex. Everything was fine, he ate me and I sucked him till he came on my chest. When we ended, I might have gotten some semen on my fingers since it got on my shirt too, but I ...
A. 30 April 2016: No, you did have sex! Oral SEX.
I do wonder what they are teaching in school these days? You mean INTERCOURSE.
Sperm can't live outside of the body for more than seconds, or maximum a few minutes only. It can swim outside of the body either.... (read in full...)
Wearing jewelry from an ex whilst out on a date with a new partner... thoughts?
Q. I want to know what everybody's thoughts are on wearing jewellery from an ex partner whilst out on a date with a new partner. Thank you!...
A. 30 April 2016: It's fine. Just don't start talking about your ex. ... (read in full...)
What are the main reasons that would motivate a woman to want to break up with a guy?
Q. I would like the opinion of the lady's an men who write in all the time, my question is what's the main reasons for women to dump the guys? Is it they found some one new, he cheated , he treats her bad, got bored of him, he was to nice, came on ...
A. 30 April 2016: I never had that happen. Neither way. My relationships always ended because we were arguing too much, which is the result of differences, and then coming to the understanding that we're simply not happy together any longer. ... (read in full...)
When travelling, what are your pet peeves about the people you meet and the places you visit outside of your own country?
Q. This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude." Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not argui...
A. 30 April 2016: That hairstyle is why I never dated when living in Russia, hahaha!... (read in full...)
When travelling, what are your pet peeves about the people you meet and the places you visit outside of your own country?
Q. This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude." Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not argui...
A. 30 April 2016: Had to do a google search of this, more people have noticed the odd hairstyle of Russian men....
http://weirdrussia.com/2015/01/21/bangs-mens-choice-of-hairstyle-in-russia/... (read in full...)
When travelling, what are your pet peeves about the people you meet and the places you visit outside of your own country?
Q. This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude." Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not argui...
A. 30 April 2016: I got so inspired reading the others posts, so I must add more!
Danes know to appreciate bacon and beer. Love it.
Norwegians in Spain: party animals and a general embarrassment for their country. Avoid them, if at all possible.
Fr... (read in full...)
Is my cheating any worse than the abuse he inflicts or threatens me with, regularly? Is getting help as impossible?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 8 years.I'm cheating on him. My husband has been abusing me for the last 3 years.Apart from the physical abuse which he exercises every day he abuses me verbally as well. He calls me all the names under the ...
A. 30 April 2016: I think you should work on a plan on how to leave him. This is no way to live life. You do not know what he can do to "hurt" your family, and honestly, unless he is a mafia boss, he can not do much. Even if he knows people. He is not above the ... (read in full...)
When travelling, what are your pet peeves about the people you meet and the places you visit outside of your own country?
Q. This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude." Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not argui...
A. 30 April 2016: Italians are horrible drivers.... We got rear ended last summer by an Italian family who then just drove away and left us with the bill.... So that's one more for Italians, lol!
As for pet peeves... I don't really have that many! But maybe th... (read in full...)
When do I raise the awkward subject of menstrating with boys I am dating?
Q. When is a good time to tell a guy you're on your period? Seems like every boyfriend since high school gets really grossed out or mad at me when I tell him. In high school I didn't have to because I only had three boyfriends. The one I only dated...
A. 30 April 2016: You just tell him it's the time of the month. Or, just say "not this week" and hope he's not daft.... (read in full...)
Was this a normal variation for a penis shape?
Q. Hey guys, so I have a question that's gonna hit a rather touchy area, especially for men, so please keep in mind; I have very little sexual experience (I've never had full intercourse)! So I was recently dumped by a long term boyfriend, and a friend...
A. 30 April 2016: Before I even read your question: there is a huge variety of what is within "normal" for a penis. So without even reading your question, I will say "yes".
Now, on to read the post....
Ah, yes I have seen those before. They aren't my favour... (read in full...)
Why do guys want intercourse so badly?
Q. Why do they want to have sex so badly? I was skimming the online forums about this; like those pua forums with the creepy guys who do everything they possibly can to get sex. And...I was reading all the replies and different terms, and I want to ...
A. 30 April 2016: lol, survival of the species... If survival of the species was the reason, then they'd be craving BABIES not sex. ... (read in full...)
Are there any life reasons anyone can suggest for why my brother seems uninterested in forming friendships and or relationships?
Q. Dear everyone I'm not sure if this question is suited to this site, but I found everyone on here to be thoughtful the previous time i used it so i thought i'd try again. I wonder if my brother has some sort of mental condition that hasn't bee...
A. 29 April 2016: To the OP,
Just because you believe you know him, doesn't mean you know him. He doesn't share his every thought with you.
I know that when I was at a point in my life, where I was withdrawn and didn't make friends etc, just like your brothe... (read in full...)
Why do guys want intercourse so badly?
Q. Why do they want to have sex so badly? I was skimming the online forums about this; like those pua forums with the creepy guys who do everything they possibly can to get sex. And...I was reading all the replies and different terms, and I want to ...
A. 29 April 2016: Because they have been raised to want it. In reality, guys want intercourse and sex just as much as women do. Not more, not less. But women are taught to not want it, and men are taught to seek it at all costs because supposedly sex makes you ... (read in full...)
Are there any life reasons anyone can suggest for why my brother seems uninterested in forming friendships and or relationships?
Q. Dear everyone I'm not sure if this question is suited to this site, but I found everyone on here to be thoughtful the previous time i used it so i thought i'd try again. I wonder if my brother has some sort of mental condition that hasn't bee...
A. 29 April 2016: Just because he is different, doesn't mean he isn't happy. People DO like different things, you know! Despite society trying to make us all into the same blob with no differences. He doesn't want friends, he doesn't want a family, and he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Can you change a player just a little?
Q. I'm trying to decide if I should have sex with a guy who's a player. If i don't have sex he'll just ignore me. If I do, then I'll get ignored after...but I was thinking, even if I can't get him to commit, what if I got him to at least do nice things ...
A. 28 April 2016: You can't ever change someone. And you shouldn't even want to. The concept of "changing" someone implies that you have power over them, or want power over them. This is the opposite of respect. If you respect someone, you leave them be the way they ... (read in full...)
Can you change a player just a little?
Q. I'm trying to decide if I should have sex with a guy who's a player. If i don't have sex he'll just ignore me. If I do, then I'll get ignored after...but I was thinking, even if I can't get him to commit, what if I got him to at least do nice things ...
A. 28 April 2016: .. I don't get it, why would you want to have sex with him just in order for him to take you on a date? You can go on nice dates with someone else, you don't need this dude to go and enjoy yourself. Or is he amazing company or what? Is he a stand up ... (read in full...)
How do I tell potential FWBs or hookups that I only want oral or manual sex, not intercourse?
Q. I want lower std risks and no pregnancy risks. So I decided to try having hookups but only going as far as foreplay. What I'm worried about is what if they think I'm childish since we're all over 18? Or they may even be angry we're not f*cking... ...
A. 28 April 2016: ... So men in your area RAPE women? They don't take no for an answer? Well, then that is RAPE, and I would be worried about hooking up with these sort of men also. So if I were you, I'd not hook up with anyone, no matter who or how far I plan to go, ... (read in full...)
I thought we were on the same page about a baby, but now he wants to go travelling.
Q. A year a go I found out I had pcos and it horrified me that I would never conceive. I spoke with my partner and said I don't really want to wait to try for a baby - I'm 24 so it wasnt unrealistic. A year later and all of a sudden my partner wants to ...
A. 28 April 2016: He wants something else, yes. After ten years it is hard to tell someone this. Because it often means you want to end things. Rather than saying it out loud, you say it with your actions. If you want this relationship, you should not speak of this ... (read in full...)
What are the risks of having a roommate?
Q. Have you ever had a roommate? Hey aunts, I need some advice on my living situation. I'm in college and I'm about to graduate with my degree. I also started taking classes to get into the medial field (AS) I'm pretty much happy about school. I'...
A. 27 April 2016: I think if you are going to have a room mate, it is best if you do NOT know them that well. I mean, you need to have confirmation that they will pay their share, but other than that it is best to not be that good friends. Because arguments are bound ... (read in full...)
Can someone help me to understand why I am feeling this way? I haven't told anyone, but I really want a baby.
Q. Hi im almost 14 and i really want to have a baby i love children my sister has 5 and there all babies i babysit them all the time. Their my world. I have a boyfriend but i havent told him or anyone about having a baby. I dont know why i feel like...
A. 27 April 2016: Its a phase. I was the same when I was 14, I was craving a baby so badly. It's hormones! They fill up our bodies espceially around the ages of 13-17 we are so pumped up with hormones we can barely think a clear through. The hormones are preparing ... (read in full...)
Please please help me! Retroactive jealousy is driving me insane and it's getting out of control
Q. (Ps. English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for the grammar errors etc..) Hello; It's been more than a year since I started to date my girlfriend (fiancee). Unfortunately I'm in the claws of retroactive jealousy. I guess there is not a...
A. 25 April 2016: "When you discuss with your own brain, the audience always finds you right"
This is spot on.
"So what should I do now? I missed something awesome when I was young"
Realize that you only feel this way because of the belief system you have a... (read in full...)
Please please help me! Retroactive jealousy is driving me insane and it's getting out of control
Q. (Ps. English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for the grammar errors etc..) Hello; It's been more than a year since I started to date my girlfriend (fiancee). Unfortunately I'm in the claws of retroactive jealousy. I guess there is not a...
A. 25 April 2016: Yes, he must abandon the belief system. When suffering from any OCD, you have the compulsive disorder because you believe something will go terribly wrong if you fail to do what you must do. So there again, you see a belief system that favours the ... (read in full...)
Please please help me! Retroactive jealousy is driving me insane and it's getting out of control
Q. (Ps. English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for the grammar errors etc..) Hello; It's been more than a year since I started to date my girlfriend (fiancee). Unfortunately I'm in the claws of retroactive jealousy. I guess there is not a...
A. 24 April 2016: BTW, to Tisha, I believe he is only repeating these lines/lies because they are what builds up his belief system. Without these beliefs, his jealousy will die, as it needs these lies to live. Like with an OCD or like with any obsession.
Feeli... (read in full...)
Please please help me! Retroactive jealousy is driving me insane and it's getting out of control
Q. (Ps. English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for the grammar errors etc..) Hello; It's been more than a year since I started to date my girlfriend (fiancee). Unfortunately I'm in the claws of retroactive jealousy. I guess there is not a...
A. 24 April 2016: Hi again OP, thanks for following up.
Women and men are not different, mentally. Only physically. Women remember, and attach as much emphasis, on sex as any man. Part of fighting for equality for women has in a large degree also been about fi... (read in full...)
Please please help me! Retroactive jealousy is driving me insane and it's getting out of control
Q. (Ps. English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for the grammar errors etc..) Hello; It's been more than a year since I started to date my girlfriend (fiancee). Unfortunately I'm in the claws of retroactive jealousy. I guess there is not a...
A. 24 April 2016: Ah, sorry, wrote my looong reply, and see your follow-up now only after already posting.
In response to your follow-up. Your frustrations are legitimized through the ideas you list up. Ideas of a womans value being higher when young and, as a res... (read in full...)
Please please help me! Retroactive jealousy is driving me insane and it's getting out of control
Q. (Ps. English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for the grammar errors etc..) Hello; It's been more than a year since I started to date my girlfriend (fiancee). Unfortunately I'm in the claws of retroactive jealousy. I guess there is not a...
A. 24 April 2016: Im going to start writing my answer without a reply from you, but it would be helpful if you answered how many partners you have been with yourself and if this is a problem you have had all your life or if it just started with your current ... (read in full...)
Is the arousal because I'm gay or reacting to a forbidden, taboo act?
Q. If you're a man and aren't aroused at the thought of being with a woman but are aroused a bit when you think of having sex with a man even though you recently were capable of having fulfilling sex with a female several months ago and never wanted to ...
A. 24 April 2016: Look, there is something you need to understand about sexuality. It's not either or. You can like both, or you can like one more in this and that situation, or you can like one guy and ten girls, or the opposite.
Sexuality isn't 100% either i... (read in full...)
Is the suggestion we watch a movie at his place for our fifth date normal, or a bad sign?
Q. Is this a bad sign? I'm interested in a guy I met through an online dating site. I've met with him four times already now, we've had coffee, a dinner/movie date, picnic at a park with drinks then at a lounge. For the next date he suggested I come...
A. 24 April 2016: For dating to develop into more than friendship, there needs to be a level of romance/intimacy at some point. So wanting things to progress is not a negative thing! He wants things to develop, and you shouldn't see it as something negative, unless ... (read in full...)
Please please help me! Retroactive jealousy is driving me insane and it's getting out of control
Q. (Ps. English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for the grammar errors etc..) Hello; It's been more than a year since I started to date my girlfriend (fiancee). Unfortunately I'm in the claws of retroactive jealousy. I guess there is not a...
A. 24 April 2016: Can you tell me first, how many women have you been with? And is this the first time you experience jealousy?... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
