A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend is 37, happy guy and it takes much to irritate him. Though he doesn't look far older than his age, his face wrinkles a lot especially when he smiles. I can't change this fact but it might at least be lessened if he uses moisturizer or any anti-aging cream and I don't see him using any.I'm not perfectionist and I don't want to change him, I just want to tell him to use moisturizer for his face but I don't know how, I don't want to offend him so please tell me how can I tell him to use anti- wrinkle cream in a nice way?Thank you for your help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (29 February 2016):
Wrinkles are caused by a myriad of things, including but not limited to:
- facial muscle movement. When repeated enough times, your facial expressions become literally etched into your face. (Luckily your guy seems to enjoy smiling).
- loss of volume in the face due to age
- loss of skin elasticity due to age
- your facial structure (rounder face shapes are more forgiving than angular ones)
Dry skin simply makes wrinkles look a wee bit more pronounced. A moisturizer will help with that. But it will not take away his wrinkles. Neither will wrinkle cream, unless they can create one that changes your face shape, volume and your facial muscle movement. Sounds ridiculous right? Kids didn't believe in those commercials even before they stopped believing in Santa. Why adults fall for it still mystifies me.
Now, some people get great results with a bit of botox and fillers, but for every success story there are 10 people who look....like they got work done.
And that look is ten times worse than looking like a newspaper that got balled up and unfolded again.
If you can't get past his wrinkles, stop wasting his and your time and let him find someone who will appreciate him, wrinkles and all.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 Anti-wrinkle cream will not work. Those are just to make people buy them, but they do not have any effect, it's just bogus. What you really need is sun screen. Too much sun wrinkles the skin. A good moisturizer might make it appear smoother as well, but will not reduce wrinkles. Sun block will also only help to not develop more wrinkles. You can make him wear sun block by saying it is to prevent skin cancer. Many moisturizers also come with sun block added to them, so you can buy him one of those.
Wrinkles are in most part genetic though. Look to his father, see how many wrinkles he has. Your boyfriend will most likely turn out the same.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 So he has laughter lines on his face - so what!
Laughter lines on a man's face is are very attractive feature. Now you want him to slap on some anti-aging cream to hide those features.. erm not going to work..
You should be more concerned about getting him to wear sunscreen than to worry about his laughter lines.
It sounds like you are embarrassed by how he looks, he doesn't quite fit the perfect wrinkle-free face you want to see...
And hey, if you had not noticed... we are ALL getting older and more WRINKLES are forming...
I bet this guy has an awesome personality but he's got LINES on his FACE and that cancels out his personality...
Sorry I am being harsh but I think you are being very unfair to your bf.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2016): I think people start to get wrinkles at that age, it's normal and it happens to everybody. The fact that he doesn't get irritated and laughs and smiles is way better than having a strange looking smooth faced botoxed guy.
I hope you aren't relying on anti ageing products and moisturiser to save you from wrinkles as there's not much evidence that they actually work. If his face is badly wrinkled then things like smoking or sun damage would have caused that not the fact he doesn't use moisturiser.
I would be insulted if a boyfriend did this to me so I think you may want to avoid talking to him about it. If it were personal hygiene that was a problem it would be different as the other poster said but this is something that does happen to everybody, you could use all the creams in the world it won't make much difference.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (28 February 2016):
 I have to agree with the others. Telling him to use anti-wrinkle cream sounds very much like a perfectionist wanting to change someone.
If you were talking about a recent lack of hygiene, for example, I would sympathize, but fixating on his wrinkles is a bit hypercritical.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 February 2016):
 As a partner who is older than my spouse (by 13 years) if he implied in any way shape or form that my age and normal parts of aging (sagging skin and or wrinkles) were NOT acceptable it would hurt my feelings and damage our relationship.
IN addition, people who have what we call "laugh lines" are not wrinkled...that's just happiness.
he's only 37 he's not that old... it's only going to get worse and worse...if you are not attracted to him now with his laugh lines when he hits 45 and he starts to really sag what are you going to do.
Moisturizer is one thing.... find a nice upscale men's line (I like Clinique for Men) and show it to him and guage his response. FWIW I got some for my husband and he never uses it.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 February 2016):
 You DO want to change him.
And you could buy a NICE face moisturizer and suggest it will make his skin look amazing. Anti wrinkle creams is BS, they are not really going to "erase" wrinkles.
OR... you could accept him for WHO he is and HOW he looks.
I think smile wrinkles are VERY attractive. MUCH more so than a botoxed face that looks like rubber.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (28 February 2016):
 What would your reaction be if he was to suggest you needed to be using it :)? I mean, even nicely put it comes across a bit insulting. Be grateful you have a bf that smiles enough to have them.
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