A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really need help.My girlfriend is threatening to break up with me and it seems all I do is not enough. Right now she's telling me she's broken up and that she doesn't want me. But come later that may change. It's the same yesterday. We agreed to have 7 days for me to prove I love her over a short break away, and there I am going out buying breakfast for when she wakes up, suggesting places to visit - that she says no to, and just constantly telling her I love her and that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Last night a girl messaged me. She'd the phone in her hand - the girl asked if I proposed to her - but my girlfriend just went into the message and looked for something to pin on me - the worst she found was one message with an x at the end sent by accident. Then when I went out for breakfast this morning she went onto my phone and found messages back to 2011 - I was young single and foolish and asked a girl out. But it appeared to be a big problem. I'm not exactly Mr perfect I know. The early days in our relationship were tough - I was hard on her because I thought I found the best so I expected it. I found out about her recent past - a vid with her ex and I freaked. But since then every thought with her is negative and the anger and aggression from her is really scaring me.Am I just worthless? Everyday I feel like I'm conceding - will I just need to man up and tell her as it is or will I have to walk away. I really don't want to loose her because honestly she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!
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male
reader, MikeMarco  +, writes (1 March 2016):
She rules your world man and has you wrapped around her little finger. Grow a pair and walk away because she will eventually toss you to the curb when she gets bored playing with you. She isn't the only beautiful girl in the world, their are plenty out their you need to wake up and smell the coffee bud.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 February 2016):
 Read the story of Sisyphus sometime.... and see if YOU aren't HIM!!!!
Why waste your time trying to "prove" your worth to this girl.... when SHE has the luxury of changing the rules at her own whims?????? WAKE UP!!!!! and get another - sensible - girlfriend....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 Do you mind telling us, though, howcome you have messages from 2011 still on your phone? Did you save them because they were special to you? I don't know, but this entire story is missing something and I wonder what you're not telling us. The bit about a random girl messaging you and asking if you had proposed is also a bit weird. Who was she, why was she messaging you asking you this? I don't get it, there's something you're not telling us.
Regardless, being with someone just because they are beautiful is never going to work, so this is a dead end relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2016): The only problem I see from your question is that you are with a woman just because she is beautiful. A relationship will never work out if that's the only thing you stay with her for.Giving you 7 days to prove something makes her look like she enjoys men jumping through hoops. I'm sure she likes it when she says it's over seeing you panic and then stroking her ego by telling her how beautiful she is and you'll do anything to make it work. Yes it's nice to be attracted to your partner but do you really want to be with anybody who can make an issue out of things on your phone from 5 years ago? You want to spend your life with this woman but honestly in 5 years time having a partner constantly digging for dirt will become incredibly annoying!She makes you feel worthless so what good qualities does she have aside from the way she looks? I have friends who are absolutely stunning and gorgeous and they don't act like that. I think you need to get a different goal and that's having somebody beautiful inside as well as out.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 February 2016):
 It sounds like a really unhappy and uneven relationship where YOU have given HER all the power to make decision and you just go along with it so you can get to "keep" a beautiful gf.
If having a pretty GF is more important than having a good and healthy relationship, then keep doing what you are doing now. If you on the other hand want a healthy relationship, don't be with someone because of her looks only and DO NOT let her dictate everything. Relationships are about compromises, adapting, and working together. Not for someone to boss the other one around.
If she thinks you don't love her, there is no magic fix to make her see or understand that you do. And 7 days to "prove" that? what a ridiculous ultimatum!
Were you dating this GF back in the day when you asked out another girl in 2011? If not, that is none of her beeswax what you did BEFORE you dated her.
If you WERE dating her and asked another girl out, well then you f'd up. And the consequences to that... is that a relationship can go absolutely sideways when you do SHADY things.
I agree with Dodds - STOP TRYING SO HARD!! Let this girl break up with you, then you cut the contact and work on moving on.
You really CAN NOT make her see that you love her if she has decided you don't really love her. Her ultimatum seems more like her wanting to know just how easy you are to drag around her pinkie. To see how high you will jump for her. AND THAT... isn't love.
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 Brother never let anyone, man or woman have you by the balls and squeeze them till they turn blue.She will never respect you! You know what I did when faced with a similar situation? I walked away. And guess what? She came back begging and saying she loved me after all. Why did she do this? Because I respected myself, and in turn it made her respect me. Funny thing her behaviour turned me off and I lost the attractions I once felt for her. There are so many beautiful women out there for you to remain stuck up on one. My advice, politely let her go and accept nothing but the behaviour and personality traits you desire in a woman till you meet that girl who has such traits.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (29 February 2016):
You sound rather shallow, is the only reason you "love" her and want to be with her that she is the most beautiful girl you've ever seen?
... Sorry to break it to you, but liking the way someone looks doesn't mean you should be in a relationship! And it doesn't mean you should claim to LOVE a person, when in reality all you do is admire their looks! That's NOT love. No wonder she wants you to prove your love to her, the way you talk about her I honestly do not think you love her very much! You just admire her looks and want to be with her because you don't think you can get a better looking girlfriend....
If she also makes you feel worthless, then dude, face reality. This is not a good relationship for either of you! I think you need to mature some more and take time to get to know yourself and what is necessary in a relationship before you try to enter one again. Buying breakfast and suggesting places to go visit are NOT declarations or "proof" of love. If you loved her she would know, and not need proof. Time to face reality, this relationship is a lost cause and you're not in the right state of mind to be in a relationship right now. Be single for at least 6 months and do some thinking. If it was meant to be, you will end up together with her again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2016): It sounds like she would be doing you a favour if she broke up with you. If you get away from her you will start to build up confidence. Your girlfriend was looking for something to complain about and if people want to complain badly enough they will always find something. There are lots of beautiful girls out there that wont treat you badly. My advice would be just let it happen. Just let her break up with you. It will hurt for a little bit and then you will get on with your life. Don't understate your own worth. Go out and find someone better.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 Sorry but all I see in this post is a lack of trust in each other.
A relationship needs trust - and yours, well... already sounds like it is over.
Your gf wants to know she can trust you and you will go to the ends of the earth for her... and during all this... some other girl is texting you... proposal?? So did you discuss your personal life with some other girl??
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