A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi AllIve been dating quite a while now, things are good generallyI do get her the occasional 'just because' gifts, her fave choccies, an engraved pen when she started a new job etc- nothing too overboard though.I would like to get her flowers right now, not because anything is wrong- just so she knows i am thinking of her.I am not sure though whether it would be best for her to get them at home, in private or delivered to her workplace in front of colleagues?Ladies, how would you react to a boyfriend sending you flowers 'just because' in your office?Embarrassment? or would you like it?Thanks
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (14 April 2016):
 If she brought the story to you and the idea, you might want to ask her outright if that's something she'd like. Then let enough time pass before you do it. She may have been hinting at you, but don't take the chance and assume that it's a hint. You could ask her what she thinks of getting flowers at work.
A
female
reader, wrathykins +, writes (13 April 2016):
 It all depends on what sort of person she is. I personally, would LOVE flowers sent to me at work!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2016): At home, definitely.I finish work before my partner and one time he snuck home at lunch and left flowers on the bench for me when I got home. That was sweet
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2016): Aww you cutie pie! I would love a boyfriend who sent me flowers "just cause" :)
To stick to the safe side, go for at home - I'm sure she'll love them!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (13 April 2016):
 You could ask her if she likes that sort of thing. For all we know she may just be talking about the days' events.
As for the women cooing, I suspect they're all doing that because they think it's expected of them. Really, what else can they say? It would be tactless and nasty if they condemned it. If I and the anonymous female pretended it was a nice thing, they probably were as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2016): Definitely don't send flowers to work. I've had it done and it's just plain embarrassing (not that I could bring myself to tell my boyfriend at the time). Personally I also prefer pot plants to cut flowers, as they last much longer. Maybe next time you visit her, just take a pot plant round. The thing I appreciate most from my boyfriend is if he gives me a really thoughtful gift. Like he might come home from work with a box of my favourite chocolates, or tell me to put my feet up while he cooks dinner. Simple things like that mean a lot more than flashy gifts (in my view anyway)
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (13 April 2016):
I agree with the others. Keep the flowers out of the workplace. It's kinda like being forced to show off.
If you really want to send a gift to the work place, send her one of those graze boxes. It's a nice cute thing to do and far more subtle than sending flowers.
https://www.graze.com/uk
But as Ciar says; gift giving is nice but it needs to be done in moderation otherwise it loses its flavour
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 April 2016):
 I think that depends a lot on where she works. If you're unsure, then you shouldn't do it. Send them to her home instead. Sending to her workplace means you could be running the risk of embarrassment and her being the talk of the office, in a negative way (she would appear flashy and showy). Or worse, it could be seen as inappropriate with her superiors. Over the years, I've worked several different places, and I could only name one workplace where I would be fine with flowers being delivered to me while at work. All the other places it would have been a nuisance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi AllThanks for the responses, just to clarify a few thingsFirstly i dont buy gifts all the time, maybe two or three times a year besides the 'expected ones'As for the work or home thing, well she has mentioned a couple of times about colleagues getting them, and i have seen the women in my own office cooing like crazy when one gets flowers, hence the questionThanks again
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 April 2016):
I'd like to add my vote to the "in private" category! I think you're romantic, and that's awesome! I'm also a private person, so I also keep professional and personal stuff apart. I think it's the same rules for public vs. private marriage proposals as well, and I'd be pretty mortified if I had gotten a proposal in public vs in private.
How long have you been dating??
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 April 2016):
 My husband wants to send to my office but he can't. I'm actually relieved that he can't. It becomes a distraction at the office then I have more stuff to carry home.
If you want to send HER flowers for HER then send them to her at home.
BTW I think it's an AWESOME Idea to send them JUST because.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 April 2016):
 I agree, if you want to give her flowers "Just Because" that is nice, but I don't see the need to tell her whole office/workplace that YOU felt like giving her flowers...
I think it defeats the purpose by sending them to her work, this isn't about her job it's about you two.
It's a display of affection - does it HAVE to be public?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (13 April 2016):
 Most people would live to keep their personal and professional lives separate. I know I would.
It's great that you're such a caring boyfriend but I think that you should keep displays of affection for the personal sphere. Sometimes, even the best intentions can come across as tacky and trying too hard to show your love, which is unnecessary. You know you adore her, she knows you adore her...I don't think the rest of the world needs to know this too.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (13 April 2016):
Years ago my boyfriend at the time sent me flowers at work for my first day on the job. I didn't appreciate being made a spectacle of and having my private life made public. My new colleagues all thought he was 'so sweet' but I was furious (and too polite back then to show anything but gratitude).
I don't know what sort of person your girlfriend is, whether she's reserved or very outgoing, but I would strongly suggest that until you know her better you err on the side of caution and keep things private.
I also suggest you moderate the gift giving. Even a good thing can be overdone.
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