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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Do I keep lying to her or tell her the truth? Nothing fits any more.
Q. I been with my gf for 4 years and she has put on weight since. I'm not bothered because she is really attractive with extra weight on. However if I mention it she says she doesn't like it. So I don't mention anything anyway however now all her ...
A. 26 June 2016: Not saying something isn't the same as lying. In this case, talk is silver and silence is gold. She knows she's put on weight, doesn't need you to tell her.
But no, don't lie. If she actually ASKS for your opinion, be honest. But until asked, d... (read in full...)
Do I end the 25 year friendship ?
Q. I dont understand why my friend is trying to make me feel guilty. Sorry but this is a long story , I have a friend who lives in a different town to me its only a 10 minute bus ride ill call her A i also have a friend who lives in the same town as ...
A. 26 June 2016: Oh and I always invited her for everything with my friends, and she never ONCE in those 15 years invited me to come hang out with her and her friends... She had no problem hanging out with the people I introduced her to, but wouldn't introduce me to ... (read in full...)
Do I end the 25 year friendship ?
Q. I dont understand why my friend is trying to make me feel guilty. Sorry but this is a long story , I have a friend who lives in a different town to me its only a 10 minute bus ride ill call her A i also have a friend who lives in the same town as ...
A. 26 June 2016: She's always been like this, and you have just used up your 25 years worth of patience. I recently broke contact with a friend of 15 years, same reason as you in fact. She never came to my place, despite her having a car and me having to take the ... (read in full...)
Why do some young women go out to night clubs dressed they way they do?
Q. Why do the women at the night clubs dress like s^^ts?? So I'm talking here about women who wear clothes with plunging cleavages, booster bras, short skirts and the like. We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. ...
A. 25 June 2016: Yes. Society has taught women over some centuries now, that we are judged by our appearance and not by our brains. So there you have it, the reason why women dress up. Well, half the reason anyway.
The other half, being of course, that we are p... (read in full...)
Not sure if 'No' means no for good
Q. Asked a female out for a drink from the office of where I work and she said she would get back to me. And she did, unfortunately it wasn't good news. It was a rejection reply. I absolutely hate them. Anyway she explained she wasn't able to see me ...
A. 25 June 2016: So you claim to know she is a liar... then why would you want to date her? Lying people aren't dating material...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a fat fetish and wants me to gain more weight! I've already gained 100!
Q. I met my bf almost a year and a half ago and we imediately hit it off great. Then I weighed about 150lbs. The first 4 months were great and he was so caring and attentive always surprising me with my favorite snacks or ice cream and taking me out to ...
A. 24 June 2016: This was, as you already know, a bad idea. It's like asking you to start smoking because he finds it sexy. But you are the one ruining your body and your health for his sake. You need to stop putting men at the center of your life. They do not ... (read in full...)
We agreed to remain friends but I haven't heard from him!
Q. A guy i was seeing for 5 months ended things with me a couple of months ago. From my persepctive everything was going well and had been fine between us leading up to him ending things so it really upset me as it was totally unexpected. When he ended ...
A. 23 June 2016: Honestly, when exes say things like "lets be friends", it just means you end things on a good not and are not bitter or angry. It means if you happen to run into each other, you will say hello and maybe strike a conversation. It does NOT, however, ... (read in full...)
If this relationship is dead how do I leave?
Q. Hello, I am struggling with my relationship of four years. I feel like I don't love my boyfriend anymore. He is 23 amd I am 20. The first two years I was im love with him and he was with me. But as I get older, I realize that I probably won't have a ...
A. 22 June 2016: Yes, the relationship is dead and you're just not interested in him in that way any longer. Accept that he will cry. That's honestly, brutally, his problem. You can not be a helmet that prevents him from getting hurt. He will get hurt sooner or ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend saying I'm not that attractive to be hit on?
Q. I would say I'm okay looking, when I'm done up I think I can look quite hot. Anyways I get hit on by guys on the way to work quite often, yesterday I had two guys actually approach me. One was when I was sitting on the bench and the guy said, can I ...
A. 22 June 2016: Oh please, as if what women wear determines whether or not a guy will make a move. Stop blaming women for the actions of men, and the whole world will finally take a step forward. The guy made a pass at her because he, for some reason or other, felt ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend saying I'm not that attractive to be hit on?
Q. I would say I'm okay looking, when I'm done up I think I can look quite hot. Anyways I get hit on by guys on the way to work quite often, yesterday I had two guys actually approach me. One was when I was sitting on the bench and the guy said, can I ...
A. 21 June 2016: No, he is saying it because he never himself approached that many women. Which also shows his idea about "eye contact" being needed to flirt with women, which isn't true. He's just trying to declare himself a flirting expert and trying to look manly ... (read in full...)
I want to marry my g/f but she won't do oral sex and its important to me
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she wont blow me. I go down on her and tell her alot how much id like one. She says she might one day but thinks itsgross and awkward. I want to marry her one day but this is important to me. What ...
A. 21 June 2016: HoneyPie, again I think you and others on this thread have just watched some porn and think that is how a blowjob is. Deep troathing, like swallowing, are optional to a blowjob, they're not mandatory. A blowjob doesn't need you taking the penis in ... (read in full...)
I want to marry my g/f but she won't do oral sex and its important to me
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she wont blow me. I go down on her and tell her alot how much id like one. She says she might one day but thinks itsgross and awkward. I want to marry her one day but this is important to me. What ...
A. 21 June 2016: All these answers who just say what "comes out" is the reason they don't do blowjobs, haven't ever tried giving a blowjob, obviously. Because "that which comes out" doesn't come out until there is an orgasm. All the way up until then, you are just ... (read in full...)
I've asked my ex 3 times if he wants to hook up. He always says yes but it never happens
Q. Okay, so I've been horny lately and I ended up asking my ex if he was interested in hooking up and he said yes. But we never did it. I asked him 3 times, each time after I waited 2 weeks. The last time I asked was 4 weeks ago, and he said he was ...
A. 20 June 2016: It makes sense, you're just not willing to open your eyes to it. In his shoes, I would say yes too, and not show up. He likes the attention, he likes having sex ready and available, should he ever be in that area. But he's not hot and bothered, ... (read in full...)
I want to marry my g/f but she won't do oral sex and its important to me
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she wont blow me. I go down on her and tell her alot how much id like one. She says she might one day but thinks itsgross and awkward. I want to marry her one day but this is important to me. What ...
A. 20 June 2016: Okay, if this all boils down to taste and smell, the solution is ridiculously easy:
Smell: Wash up before you go to bed. Removes the smell and any sweat and whatever might have gotten attached to the skin during the day. This is absolute... (read in full...)
I've asked my ex 3 times if he wants to hook up. He always says yes but it never happens
Q. Okay, so I've been horny lately and I ended up asking my ex if he was interested in hooking up and he said yes. But we never did it. I asked him 3 times, each time after I waited 2 weeks. The last time I asked was 4 weeks ago, and he said he was ...
A. 20 June 2016: Oh, and this has nothing to do with lacking self respect. Women have sexual needs just the same as men, plain and simple. Some more than others. The vibrator becomes boring very fast, if you ask me. So from one female player to (perhaps) another: go ... (read in full...)
I've asked my ex 3 times if he wants to hook up. He always says yes but it never happens
Q. Okay, so I've been horny lately and I ended up asking my ex if he was interested in hooking up and he said yes. But we never did it. I asked him 3 times, each time after I waited 2 weeks. The last time I asked was 4 weeks ago, and he said he was ...
A. 20 June 2016: Yes, it's desperate. But you are desperate. I suggest instead of asking your ex, who doesn't really appear to show up when you need him to, find someone else. I mean, you have asked your ex already, he knows where to find you. Asking him again will ... (read in full...)
I want to marry my g/f but she won't do oral sex and its important to me
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she wont blow me. I go down on her and tell her alot how much id like one. She says she might one day but thinks itsgross and awkward. I want to marry her one day but this is important to me. What ...
A. 20 June 2016: I think a bit of selfishness is needed. The only ones we ever have in our corner, is ourselves. So if we don't take care of ourselves, and make sure we get what we need, then no one else will. I think it is a selfish to want blowjobs. Because the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to quit his job after only 1 week. I told him I'd break up with him if he does so!
Q. Hello, I would like your advice on whether I am being too harsh on my boyfriend. My boyfriend was without a job for quite some months and recently landed a customer service job. He has experience working in a call center environment before so hi...
A. 20 June 2016: Woman, you need to back down. You are acting like his mother. That is NOT your job, and does not make you a good girlfriend. It makes you a good parent.
You were "patient" with him when he was without a job? Tell me, what does that mean? That you... (read in full...)
How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention?
Q. How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention? The earlier posts are EXACTLY what I keep running into! They get all flirty, talk to me for hours, text me cute things all day and when we finally have sex or try to, they say I'm ONLY in ...
A. 19 June 2016: Oh, sorry, appears I should have read your last part before I posted... I think there is something really wrong with the way you view women. You talk about your ex as if she was some dog you found on the side walk, raising her, getting her hair ... (read in full...)
How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention?
Q. How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention? The earlier posts are EXACTLY what I keep running into! They get all flirty, talk to me for hours, text me cute things all day and when we finally have sex or try to, they say I'm ONLY in ...
A. 19 June 2016: It seems you confuse sex with girlfriend. Just because you have sex with someone, doesn't mean you are in a relationship. All the girls want to talk and talk UNTIL you enter an official relationship. Then comes the sex.
There's a crossroa... (read in full...)
How to stop my family buying me unwanted unnecessary gifts? Solutions needed, please?
Q. My parents and grandparents keep buying me things I don't want or need. In the last week I got two puffer vests, a pair of cheap trainers and a shirt two sizes too big. I appreciate the gesture, but the regular buying of things I don't need jus...
A. 18 June 2016: You just think they will get hurt if you ask them to stop. But you should ask them even so. You don't like it, and I know that if they knew how you felt, they wouldn't be buying you all sorts of stuff all the time.
Alternatively, you can ask them... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't think that my achievements are anything to be proud of
Q. Am I asking too much? I've just completed an intense access course at college after returning at 26, I've also gotten an offer from University and acquired the grades which means I'll begin my degree in September. Im so proud of myself goi...
A. 17 June 2016: Oh, and congratulations! Your achievement is something to be proud of! Go celebrate without him, and preferable find someone else who knows how to give praise to others when they have worked hard. Seriously, your current partner is a dick head. ... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't think that my achievements are anything to be proud of
Q. Am I asking too much? I've just completed an intense access course at college after returning at 26, I've also gotten an offer from University and acquired the grades which means I'll begin my degree in September. Im so proud of myself goi...
A. 17 June 2016: ... You're dating a douche bag. Tell me, why are you with this guy? ... (read in full...)
Why is porn condemned by women?
Q. I am curious about this. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. They are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of him a...
A. 17 June 2016: They compare.... (read in full...)
Why is she watching porn instead of having sex with me?
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for over 3 years now and we're both still young..(19 and 20) too young in my opinion to lose interest in sex with one another but now it only happens like every other month or so. She lies about watching porn but her ...
A. 17 June 2016: But watching porn and having sex with another person are two completely different things...! Why don't people get this? It's not the same! Her pron watching has nothing at all to do with her not wanting to have sex with you. She wants to enjoy her ... (read in full...)
I told him white lie about my birthday, now what?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Things are great and we're in love. Only I feel so guilty about a little white lie I told him at the start of our relationship! He's 21 and when I met him I was 17, literally turning 18 in a month's ...
A. 16 June 2016: ... Its not a minor thing to lie about, actually. It's up there with the biggest lies you can tell. Although, you were lying about a month, which might soften the blow. But tell him ASAP!!!! The longer you wait, the more the lie grows and the larger ... (read in full...)
My manager sent an angry text on my day off! How should I respond?
Q. My boss has sent me a shitty text message saying the following: "you have authorised 'john' to have this saturday off as holiday and not put anyone in at 8am, so as it stands, i cant enter the store. not your finest rota this week, needs impr...
A. 16 June 2016: It's a small business? Then the manager probably sent you this text because they feel that professionality is uneccessary because you are such a small business.
You can respond with this: "Thank you for informing me of this error. I will talk to ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my needs for a boyfriend and for sex? I'm 16 and a virgin.
Q. Hi so I'm 16. Obviously I'm a teenager so I have'needs'... Well they're more desires than needs. My first desire is to find someone to love who will love me back. Someone I can trust and talk to who understands me. Will I find him soon? Who know...
A. 16 June 2016: Its an age thing. At 16, theres just so many hormones in whack, and too much developing too fast to even count. It cools down around 18. So hang in there! Just remind yourself that you WILL meet that person who shows you love, eventually. And right ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong or right to send flowers to a co worker you like?
Q. I have a question I wanted to ask and ive been debating it. If there is a co worker a male likes and he's into her. Let's say the special day was valentines day. Is it wrong or right to send flowers to a co worker you like? not that I'm intendi...
A. 16 June 2016: No. Dont send flowers. Work romance is never something to take easy. If you fall in love, you always need to keep it separate from work. And if its just flirting, it needs to be low key. ... (read in full...)
I have sex daily with my BF and I masturbate. My high sex drive is a problem. What can I do?
Q. I have always had a fairly high sex drive even in high school but the past year my sex drive keeps getting higher. It's to the point where I actually can't do daily things. My bf and I have an amazing sex life but he said that he physical...
A. 15 June 2016: Try birth control pills. A lot of them are known to kill sex drive. In your case, it might not kill it, just lower it to a level where your boyfriend can keep up, and where your lady parts don't get sore.
Remember that this is just your body spe... (read in full...)
My Bf keeps arranging his schedule so that he's 'unavailable' when I am free and 'available' when he knows I have to work. What's going on?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. He works at a shop and basically, he's his own boss. He can make his own schedule, work whatever days, and any hours. I work at a pizza restaurant and have absolutely no control over my ...
A. 15 June 2016: Like I said... if he only sees you at night, that just confirms what I said. He wants a lover, a mistress, a no strings attached casual sexual hook-up. He has no interest in an actual relationship. Hence, night time activities are fine. Day time ... (read in full...)
My Bf keeps arranging his schedule so that he's 'unavailable' when I am free and 'available' when he knows I have to work. What's going on?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. He works at a shop and basically, he's his own boss. He can make his own schedule, work whatever days, and any hours. I work at a pizza restaurant and have absolutely no control over my ...
A. 14 June 2016: Break up. He's not in this relationship, only you are, If he can't make himself available to see you, then why are you calling it a relationship? Sounds more like he just wants to keep you as his booty call. Get sex, but never have to invest any ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to face him after a night of heavy petting!
Q. Hi this is my first time writing here.. i just turned 18 this june 12 and i have a few drinks with my friends and there this guy who is 2 years younger than me,he is 15 turning 16 this july actually hes very mature on hes age. And hes very vocal a...
A. 14 June 2016: Just be casual. It happened. Thats one reason to not drink with him again, but nothing to be ashamed of really. Just make sure it was a one off.... (read in full...)
I am going through hell with my 15 year old!
Q. Not sure if this is the right place for this question I am currently going threw hell with my 15 year old daughter, she's my 4 th and youngest child. She's in with the wrong crowd and whilst not involved in drugs or drinks... She's involve...
A. 14 June 2016: So she's a spoiled child.... Yes, the youngest child is often described as the one who is most spoiled, because they have been babied all their lives.
You can decide if changing parenting tactic is the right move, or if it's beyond this now. You... (read in full...)
My mother complains she doesn't see her grandchildren, but she is always hungover!
Q. hi everyone hope someone can give me some good advice it is not relationship problems but a family problem my parents split up 8 years ago my mam now has a new boyfriend since she has got with him she doesn't bother with her grandchildren she has 6 ...
A. 14 June 2016: My dad is exactly the same. He has been diagnosed with bipolar personality disorder, and I suspect there are more mental diseases lurking around that just hasn't been diagnosed yet/that he hasn't been open about yet. Just yesterday he had a go at me ... (read in full...)
I broke the engagement, but what did I do wrong?
Q. Hello all. I'm new here and seeking some assistance with an issue I'm presently dealing with. I appreciate all who answer and want to apologize first hand for possible grammatical errors. Here goes: A little over two weeks ago I decided to call ...
A. 14 June 2016: You didn't give up. Honestly, your own family sounds pretty bad as well, who are they to shame you for ending this abusive relationship?! Yes, your official relationship was with your ex boyfriend, and not his mother, but his mother clearly came ... (read in full...)
Group sex with boyfriend, his room mate and room mate's girlfriend! I loved it!
Q. I'm 23 and have had boyfriends all through high school I've never thought about another girl in a sexual way. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were drinking with his roommate and the roomates gf when they dared us to kiss. After more drinks we ...
A. 14 June 2016: Yes, you probably are a bit bisexual. Doesn't mean you are going to find every girl you meet attractive, but it means you will occasionally find a woman attractive. I like to think of it in percentages, makes it more easy to understand. You can be ... (read in full...)
I feel very confused by her. First she flirts with me. Then she didn't invite me to her birthday celebration. What's happening here?
Q. I am lusting after another female colleague. She is also bi-sexual. I've known her a year but only recently did we start getting to know each other better as she has moved into my office at work. We flirt a lot by teasing each other and play fig...
A. 13 June 2016: She's not had sex or a relationship in 13 years? I would take that as a red flag. And then when she's all over you, flirting with you, yet obviously she doesn't want anything to evolve from there on... It becomes clear why she is single/sexless, ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my brother's ex wife. Family are try to discourage me over this. What should I do?
Q. I am a 42 year old man who was married to my for 10 years to my best friend. Seven years ago she died. We have 2 kids together and I've been single ever since. Recently I moved so the kids could be closer to family and I met a beautiful young ...
A. 12 June 2016: In this case, it's about what is most important to you. Family happiness and easy life, or love. I don't see why your family is trying to keep you away from her, maybe you should ask them? Maybe they know something about her that you don't. There ... (read in full...)
Are there people who just break up and feel happy and relieved and never think twice about their ex again?
Q. After being together for 2.5 years, I've finally beoken up with him yesterday. He called me last night thinking that I was just 'acting up'. As soon as I heard that he was still out, supposedly driving home at 1am, I didn't want to talk and ...
A. 11 June 2016: It's not as simple as that, unless you have few emotions. I have had relationships that I ended and didn't think about the ex at all, and was just relieved and feeling like a weight was pulled off my shoulders. Then I have had relationships that ... (read in full...)
How can I break this cycle? My life revolves around finding someone
Q. My life revolves around finding someone how can I break this cycle ? I just had my heart broken by my ex he left me because he didn't want to invest the time in our relationship and I can't get over it. It was only six months and although I did e...
A. 11 June 2016: You spent 6 years in an abusive relationship, you say. Have you stopped to wonder how this affected you? Abusers leave their victims feeling helpless and worthless. Do consider that part of why you feel helpless, alone, and like nothing matters but ... (read in full...)
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