A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm looking for the easiest way to get rid of feelings for someone. I'm in a very odd situation with a girl that I know.Basically we started out as fwb, it messed up when I wanted more but she said she wasn't ready for a relationship after coming out of a long term one. We stopped speaking for a few months and fell back into talking and sleeping with each other again every couple of weeks or so. At this point we've almost not spoken for a week and I find myself thinking about her a lot of the time, even when I am sleeping with other people they just don't interest me in the slightest of do anything to stop me thinking about the girl in question. Sometimes I'm fine and don't think about her at all, but other days all I want to do is message her but I do everything I can to resist which I am pretty good at to be honest.The sex is great and she's a nice girl and we both say over and over that we don't want each other out of our lives so we're trying to make something worse and that's how we've ended up in this situation. I never let me thinking about her stop me talking to other girls or hooking up with them, but it just doesn't really distract me from her either.Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 April 2016):
 Dude, get a grip. Sleeping with other girls is NOT something you do for distraction, who ever gave you that idea?
What you need to do to get over this girl is to STOP SLEEPING WITH HER!!!! It's really not that difficult a question, and I think you and everyone else already knows this. You just don't wanna stop sleeping with her, so you would rather sit and complain about how you can't get over her, than actually take action and get her out of your life.
Wanna get rid of your feelings for her, then stop seeing her!
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (8 April 2016):
 Honestly speaking, you can't want her out of your mind while still having her be a part of your life. That's the plain and simple truth. Also, sleeping around is just your way of trying to fill the empty spaces with a different sort of air . . . if that makes sense . . . You may not want to read or hear this but; you've got to 100% cut her out of your life in order to move on. Trust me, the actual healing doesn't come until a bit later on so I suggest you get ready to give yourself a break from all this casual sleeping around and dating you've been doing because that isn't going to work. Face your feelings within yourself instead of looking for external distractions.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 April 2016):
 You want the “easiest way to get rid of feelings for someone.” Ah. The shortcut to not feeling bad about something.
I believe that if that existed we’d all know about it. But as we don’t, you are here asking an age-old question.
I’m a big fan of meditation but that doesn’t sound like your thing. That would involve sitting quietly with yourself and meeting up with all those feelings and things. Even if you then watch those thoughts move gently out of your mind.... Too much like work.
Which leaves, well, letting things go.
As in, when you think about her and “messaging” her, well, you watch that thought and watch yourself having that thought. No judgments, no values, no nothing but watching yourself thinking that thought.
At a certain point, you may come to realize that you are not the thought, that in fact you are a being separate from the thought.
Once you get that busy mind wrapped around that thought... well, the sky is the limit.
I’d just let the thought float through the mind and then watch it for a while before it dissipates.... that will happen with a bit of practice.
And certainly Fatherly Advice’s comment that keeping your pants on would help you reach that state of zen om I don’t care any longer about herrrrrrrrrrr.... ommmm zennnnnn.....
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 April 2016):
 It's clear to see that you have feelings for her but she does not want commitment, if you want to move on and get over her then you need to remove her from your life, that means cut all contact and give yourself time to get over her. I understand you don't want to do this and you feel sex is better than nothing but at the end of the day you will end up getting hurt more.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (7 April 2016):
 If you want closure start with your pants.
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