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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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How do I stop this guy from being boring and getting upset so easily?
Q. Hi people! I really need help with this one. I've been in a relationship with this guy for 3 weeks now. He was a very mysterious type in the beginning but now he's soo boring now. He's a quite romantic guy but he keeps saying the same things o...
A. 19 February 2012: Dont feel bad about it, thats life.... (read in full...)
How do I stop this guy from being boring and getting upset so easily?
Q. Hi people! I really need help with this one. I've been in a relationship with this guy for 3 weeks now. He was a very mysterious type in the beginning but now he's soo boring now. He's a quite romantic guy but he keeps saying the same things o...
A. 19 February 2012: Of course if you break up with someone they will be miserable, depending on how much they like you and how sensitive they are. But that's their problem, not really yours. You can't be with someone just because you are too nice to break it off ... (read in full...)
How do I stop this guy from being boring and getting upset so easily?
Q. Hi people! I really need help with this one. I've been in a relationship with this guy for 3 weeks now. He was a very mysterious type in the beginning but now he's soo boring now. He's a quite romantic guy but he keeps saying the same things o...
A. 18 February 2012: How about just dump him? He's not for you. He's boring and being dramatic after only 3 weeks. Next please. Find someone you actually have fun with, that should be one basic criteria for a boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
My passion is steadily cooling and I'm wondering if I should breakup with boyfriend because hes selfish sexually?
Q. my bf is 36, I am 21. he was my first and at first it was exciting. but I have only been able to come once in our 2yr time together...Now, he does little foreplay and goes right in. Hard and fast. Done. He has stamina and no problem getting/staying ...
A. 18 February 2012: "I wonder if this was the way he and his ex were intimate" Probably. And she was probably complaining about it as well. "Or if he thinks that is what women like" I think he knows this isn't what women like.. although that's generalizing. Maybe some ... (read in full...)
My nipples have started to become sore, but I've never had sex!
Q. I'm usually the first one to say "get checked by the doctor" but was hoping it could just be a passing thing. This is a little embarrassing but painful. My nipples have become hard and sore, i've never had sex so definitely not pregnant and period ...
A. 18 February 2012: New underwear? New detergent? Maybe you've developed allergies?
Just because you've never had sore nipples before doesn't mean you can't start experiencing them in connection with your cycle at a later point in life. Your body isn't "set in stone... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay or bisexual?
Q. Ok here goes... I'm 18, and my husband is 19. we've been married for 8 months. we have a daughter, who is 2 years and 2 months and i'm 11 weeks pregnant with our second child. Basically, i know in my heart that my husband is gay. He claim...
A. 17 February 2012: A bisexual cheater if anything.
Ignore the fact that he has cheated on you with MEN. Imagine he cheated on you with women. Would that change the matter at all? Wouldn't you kick a cheater to the curb? No word needs to get out that he is gay, or ... (read in full...)
He wants a threesome! Isn't a twosome enough?
Q. So my boyfriend keeps telling me about a fantasy he has of having a threesome. It'd be something like he would have sex with me and I fool around with the other dude at the same time. But that just seems so odd to me, I wonder why he wants to bring ...
A. 17 February 2012: If he doesn't want you to have sex with anyone else and it is only a fantasy of his then there's your answer. If you find it bothersome just tell him that you aren't turned on by it, so you'd prefer it if he kept that particular fantasy to himself. ... (read in full...)
Does anyone deserve a second chance?
Q. when someone has cheated, should you give them a second chance?...
A. 17 February 2012: There's no should or shouldn't. You be the judge of it. It's a question with many variables. Are you a person who could forgive cheating and let it go? Was it a one time thing? Can trust be built again? Was it an ongoing affair? Is the person ... (read in full...)
He said, "when you've finished with your boyfriend, I'll take you out." Did he mean that?
Q. A man i know said " where have you been hiding? " , because he hadnt seen me for a long time.I saw him when i was out with my new boyfriend in a bar.This man asked me if he was my boyfriend,as it was the first time he had seen me with him,and i said ...
A. 17 February 2012: It's rude. The guy is a douche. If you ever end it with your new boyfriend, don't go out with this guy!!! That's a really stupid thing to say to someone in a relationship, completely disrespectful.
Congrats on your new relationship! Enjoy it... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's fantasy of me being a teenager has freaked me out
Q. I have recently started dating someone and I'm having a pretty awesome experience with it. I'm really comfortable with him, we talk very personally, and its the first dating experience I've ever had where I wasn't nervous, and I was able to be ...
A. 17 February 2012: I still do not think this is about wanting a child. You do not resemble a child after all, you are a grown woman. Who maybe wears childish underwear? Him liking adults who dress like they are young teenagers does not mean he wants young teenagers. ... (read in full...)
My nipples have started to become sore, but I've never had sex!
Q. I'm usually the first one to say "get checked by the doctor" but was hoping it could just be a passing thing. This is a little embarrassing but painful. My nipples have become hard and sore, i've never had sex so definitely not pregnant and period ...
A. 17 February 2012: Depends on what you mean by "hard and sore". Are they bleeding? Shedding skin? Are they read and swollen? Or are they just sensitive?
Probably you've been bouncing around for too much with a bra/top on that has hurt your nipples due to friction... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's fantasy of me being a teenager has freaked me out
Q. I have recently started dating someone and I'm having a pretty awesome experience with it. I'm really comfortable with him, we talk very personally, and its the first dating experience I've ever had where I wasn't nervous, and I was able to be ...
A. 17 February 2012: I don't think he imagined a 12 year old, more like Britney Spears in her first big hit video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-u5WLJ9Yk4&ob=av2e
Common sexual fantasy. Don't let it scare you. If you aren't into it then just tell him, but there's ... (read in full...)
Where can I meet people my own age to date?
Q. Hi there, just a quick question, when people say to meet new friends they should take up new hobbies i was just wondering where these things take place, i started college and met some wonderful friends but was hoping to find people worth dating, ...
A. 17 February 2012: Start your own choir then. Take some initiative. If there aren't any classes our groups dedicated to your interests in your area then MAKE one. Start a singing group. With time look into getting teachers come by on occasions. Join the church choirs. ... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 16 February 2012: I was dating a man who I wasn't physically attracted to.! So I went online searching for answers on what to do when you can't stand your man's man boobs. The quest lead me here eventually. And then I started seeing people ask questions that I felt I ... (read in full...)
Where can I meet people my own age to date?
Q. Hi there, just a quick question, when people say to meet new friends they should take up new hobbies i was just wondering where these things take place, i started college and met some wonderful friends but was hoping to find people worth dating, ...
A. 16 February 2012: Depends on what you like. Join art classes. Start scuba diving. Jump parachutes. Join a choir.
The only thing you need to keep in mind is that you probably will not meet mr. hunk at day one. You need to join an activity and then stick to it for a... (read in full...)
Zero skills at dating women. How bold is too bold? Can I just ask out a women I do not know?
Q. Is it ok to walk up to a total stranger that you find either attractive or interesting and ask them out? I am 23 and sadly I have practically zero skill when It comes to dating women any helpful advice would go a long way thanks a lot :) ...
A. 16 February 2012: PS. my best conversation starter at bars or coffee shops is asking the guy in front of me what is the name of what he ordered, because it looks great, or ask if he has any suggestions on what to get. Then pick up on any hints in the conversation and ... (read in full...)
Zero skills at dating women. How bold is too bold? Can I just ask out a women I do not know?
Q. Is it ok to walk up to a total stranger that you find either attractive or interesting and ask them out? I am 23 and sadly I have practically zero skill when It comes to dating women any helpful advice would go a long way thanks a lot :) ...
A. 16 February 2012: This is circumstantial. In some circumstances it would be ok. In others it would not.
Broad daylight, walking up to a woman asking her out tends to be not okay.
Broad daylight, complimenting a complete stranger, tends to be acceptable. If s... (read in full...)
I want to go out with a girl my own age. Should I? Feels gut wrenching to do this to my LDR older Gf
Q. Right here goes. I have been in a long distance relationship for about 3 years. My girlfriend is Thai so she lives in Thailand and I live in Australia. I visit her quite frequently and when I can and we speak at least 3 times a day. The probl...
A. 16 February 2012: Always end one relationship before you start another.
You know what to do. ... (read in full...)
I am not a very good flirter and the guy I like is really shy.... what should I do?
Q. I have serious flirting issues. I have a new guy in my life and he is really sweet but his brother just passed and now he really doesnt seem to interested. He never texts me anymore. what is the best way I should handle talking to him? [B...
A. 16 February 2012: His brother just passed away. That means he will not be dedicating his time to flirting. I often see people come on here complaining why their flirt or new partner doesn't flirt with them or show them attention, following death in the family. And ... (read in full...)
After having my sexual fantasy fulfilled, my desire for sex has burnt out!
Q. Recently one of my sexual fantasies of several years became a reality which I suppose is a good thing, however since then my sex drive has been almost zero which is really uncommon for me. I'm writing here because I'm really puzzled by it. ...
A. 16 February 2012: Have you ever really enjoyed sex, or has it always been about the chase?
It could actually be that this is unrelated to your sexual peak. Maybe you're just having a period of low sex drive. Maybe you are depressed because of something else, or... (read in full...)
He pushed me down. Its just not like him.
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together about a year and a half. We've known each other for nearly 7 years...it just took a while to make it official. Once official, things went fast. Within 2 months we were (practically) living together...within 6 ...
A. 16 February 2012: "He is heart broken over what happened. I can see it in his eyes.. im just scared it could happen again.
please tell me what you think."
We have only told you what we think. We aren't therapists or professionals. We're just random people onlin... (read in full...)
He pushed me down. Its just not like him.
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together about a year and a half. We've known each other for nearly 7 years...it just took a while to make it official. Once official, things went fast. Within 2 months we were (practically) living together...within 6 ...
A. 16 February 2012: First things first. Just because he forgave you doesn't mean you owe it to forgive him. It doesn't work like that. YOu forgive someone NOT because you expect something in return. Just the same you shouldn't forgive anyone because you "owe" it to ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my father controlling me when I'm 18 and an only child?
Q. Hi. So simply as im going to put it... I'm 18. An only child still live at home Have a controlling father who yeah, you could say...im scared of... So, my father thinks he has the right to control me, given I still live at home... He...
A. 15 February 2012: My advice: move out. If you can't move out then suck it up. There are no ways to change people, especially your parents. Their ways are set in stone. Don't like it, move out.
I'm not saying your situation isn't bad, or unbearable. I am sure it ... (read in full...)
Do his flowers mean he's serious about me?
Q. I just started dating a guy and received flowers for valentines day. Does this mean he's serious?...
A. 15 February 2012: If he gives you flowers on your one month anniversary of dating... he might be serious. Then again this might just be a sign of him being a gentleman. It's all positive, don't get me wrong.. But be careful with reading any meaning into it. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend told me I act weird when I receive blow jobs
Q. My girlfriend of 6 months is 12 years younger than I am, but very much more sexually experienced than I me. I got married young and I have only been with two women in my life while she is very adventurous and loves sex. She is also blessed with bei...
A. 14 February 2012: I think maybe your girlfriend was just fooling around trying to make jokes. It's not weird at all. Sexually experienced as she may be, perhaps she's only been with men who aren't good at expressing their pleasure? Or perhaps she thinks it is great ... (read in full...)
My ex left me for his former ex. Now he wants me back. Can I trust him?
Q. I met this guy and it didn't take long for me to fall for him. He was honestly everything I'd been searching for in a guy. He was also in the army, but that didn't bother me because I was still planning on sticking with him. Anyway, he was so...
A. 13 February 2012: A text with "I need to work on things with the ex" followed by 4 months of silence = dumped. So sure, he was honest and upfront about dumping her, but that's still called being dumped.
... (read in full...)
What's up with this attraction to a historical figure?
Q. Is it possible to be in love with someone who has been dead 67 years? I have recently seen a picture of someone who died at the age of 18 during the holocaust and ive found myself pining for him. i cant seem to let him go. what is this?...
A. 13 February 2012: Still, seeing as you don't personally know this man you can only say you love the idea you have of him. You love such an idea of a man that you have in your mind. But you do not love him.. how could you as you do not know him. You might have loved ... (read in full...)
Is it enough? He's only tell me that he 'likes me enough'
Q. What does it mean when the guy I've been dating for 7 months can't tell me how much he likes me, but only says "I like you enough"?...
A. 13 February 2012: It means that so far you haven't done anything that annoys him, and that you're good enough for now. There's nothing about you that he deeply cares for, or is attracted to. You're just enough for now. Until he wants better. Or until you make a ... (read in full...)
My height has grown and I'm too slim. How can I put on weight in healthy way?
Q. I am too slim how I can put weight ? Have muscles?my height has grown very well but I am very slim.....plz help here..I am new here...
A. 13 February 2012: If you are intolerant to certain foods then intake of such foods will prevent you from putting on weight. If you smoke you will not get hungry as often, and if you drink a lot of coffee you will also not be hungry as often. So stay away from ... (read in full...)
What do you write in a valentine card to a boy?
Q. hi. well, valentines is tommorrow. i have made a card and its all ready to go except for one small thing... I Dont Know What To Write In It!!!! My name is Becky and I'm 14 and he is Rhys and he's 15. Well, he's in year 11 anyway and I'm only year...
A. 13 February 2012: If you can't come up with anything just write a smiley in it. Or write "thanks for being a great guy" or something like that. It doesn't have to be much, you don't need to elaborate. You aren't asking him to marry you, you're just giving him a card ... (read in full...)
My ex left me for his former ex. Now he wants me back. Can I trust him?
Q. I met this guy and it didn't take long for me to fall for him. He was honestly everything I'd been searching for in a guy. He was also in the army, but that didn't bother me because I was still planning on sticking with him. Anyway, he was so...
A. 13 February 2012: Well, if I was in your shoes I'd be worried sick as well. It's one thing to want him, you do want him. But it's another thing to take that risk again. He already broke your heart once, and no matter how much you love him or think the world of him.. ... (read in full...)
How can I explain to my parents that I am planning to move interstate with my 26 year old boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend (26yrs old) and I have been living together for a year and are planning to move interstate within the next couple of months. I have not told my parents yet. The problem is my boyfriend works with my father. I cannot tell my father ...
A. 13 February 2012: I have to echo what's already been said.. You need to get active and get involved with your own life. Your parents ask you what you are doing and you can't answer because you don't know what you are doing! And why do you NOT know? Fair enough that ... (read in full...)
What's up with this attraction to a historical figure?
Q. Is it possible to be in love with someone who has been dead 67 years? I have recently seen a picture of someone who died at the age of 18 during the holocaust and ive found myself pining for him. i cant seem to let him go. what is this?...
A. 13 February 2012: It's called a fascination. It's not love. How can it possibly be love when the person is dead and you have no idea who they were. You might as well claim to be in love with your own shadow as such. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is much more casual about sex than I am. Can we make this work?
Q. My girlfriend and I are both in our 40's and we are not virgins. However, she is much more experienced (I was in a relationship for a very long time) and has a much more casual attitude about sex than I do. I am really wary about sleeping with a ...
A. 12 February 2012: Why would you beat yourself up about having sex with a woman you love? What exactly is the problem there? Is it about morals, or do you feel sex is dirty? Is it because you aren't married to her? Why do you beat yourself up, that's basically what ... (read in full...)
Virgin question: So should I be the one to expect more out of a woman who is experienced?
Q. Its becoming more and more apparent everyday that im going to be the only one where I live who is still a virgin. Day by day the chances for me to find a woman who has the same values as me is dwindling. It would be a real bonus I found someone who ...
A. 12 February 2012: It's okay to get scared for the first time. However being completely freaked out doesn't sound normal. Have you perhaps got something else that you are scared of? What about sex scared you so much?
And, if she was your girlfriend, what happened... (read in full...)
Is it crazy if I ask my ex to "clean" my facebook account? I want to move on!
Q. Dear cupid, I broke up with my boyfriend and was wondering if I can ask him to clean my facebook account; I mean he's literally commented on all my photos and liked them, liked all my profile pics, etc. Would this request be considered bonkers ...
A. 11 February 2012: Don't ask him, just delete the comments yourself. ... (read in full...)
Instead of being concerned when I was stuck on the road with a flat tire, my B/f messaged "lmao" and asked if I could hang out on Friday night! I'm so mad at him!!
Q. Dear cupid, me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we just got back together after a breakup. He promised me he would change anyway, yesterday i was on the freeway and got a flat tire and was stranded. When it happened my boyfriend ...
A. 11 February 2012: I think he's a bit insensitive. But that might just who he is. You're the one who chose to be in a relationship with him, and knowing he is this sort of guy what would you expect?
Maybe you just need to handle him differently? Instead of waiting ... (read in full...)
He's sexually experienced while I'm still a virgin by choice. Can we work out a compromise for our relationship?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for several months now, and we have come to really care about each other a great deal. We are almost inseparable. We have spent weeks at a time together, and still missed each other when parting ways. There has only...
A. 11 February 2012: Maybe I've missed something here, but why exactly are either of you thinking of sex? He's just a guy you've been seeing for some months now. He's not a boyfriend. He's not a fiance. He's a guy you've been seeing. Until you and him sit down and have ... (read in full...)
I'm 33 and never want to speak to my mother again
Q. I'm having serious issues with my mother. I am 33 yrs old and can honestly say I hate my own mother. It all started when I started college at 20 yrs old. We use to clash a lot and she wld just take things to another level. She wld call me ...
A. 11 February 2012: No you're not wrong. Stay away from her if you must, you are responsible for your own well being. When your mother is an unhealthy part of your life you are better off to cut her out. I would also make sure your children have limited contact with ... (read in full...)
Why does she involve her friends in making decisions for her?
Q. Ok i have loved this girl for over a year or so she goes to my college and everything but i have lost trust in her over these months. We share fb passwords and i realised that she has often told her friends somethings i would of liked to be betw...
A. 11 February 2012: With all of this going on, is she really someone you should think about marrying? Is she a god life-partner for you? I think you and her had a nice time while it lasted, but now that times is over. You and her are not good together, you do not trust ... (read in full...)
Cheating boyfriend's passport expired 3 years ago! Should I call immigration on him?
Q. What kind of a person does this? this guy is seriously sick!!? I loved my ex bf so much.. I thought we were in love.. He was so sweet.. Told me he loved me everyday.. He never gave my a reason to doubt him. Everything was great. We had g...
A. 11 February 2012: Leave him to Karma. Get tested for STD's. Be happy you got rid of the loser, because now you are free to meet a real man. ... (read in full...)
Virgin question: So should I be the one to expect more out of a woman who is experienced?
Q. Its becoming more and more apparent everyday that im going to be the only one where I live who is still a virgin. Day by day the chances for me to find a woman who has the same values as me is dwindling. It would be a real bonus I found someone who ...
A. 11 February 2012: No, you don't have any right to expect anything. Same as no one has any right to expect anything out of you. The way you think and talk about sex isn't what sex really is. You talk about sex as if it's some service you provide. That with experience ... (read in full...)
Do you know any links to good artices in DearCupid please re fellatio?
Q. I just started dating after getting out of a 15 year marriage. My ex never liked blow jobs and really zapped my confidence with his criticism so I need a step by step guide of giving a good bj. Thanks!...
A. 11 February 2012: Don't worry about not doing it right... just listen to the mans breath and look at his facial expressions and you will soon learn what he enjoys and not. Just experiment with different touches and well, try out different things with your tongue. ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
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