| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Those who were successful in LDR, how did you convince your partner to move closer to you?
Q. I am in a LDR of 11/2 years. I developed a habit of snooping very early in the relationship which I think is really bad. I have already fallen in love with the guy so it was hard to get rid of him. He does this thing that I have never seen with any ...
A. 8 March 2012: Those who were successful in LDR, how did you convince your partner to move closer to you?
When I was in a LDR there was never any "convincing" needed. We were in love and wanted to be together, it was a natural thing to want to get closer. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend helps himself to the food in my home and I don't like it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six months. I see him at weekends and he stays at my house. When we go out he pays for meals. I am also generous. However, he gets up in the night or early morning and helps himself to food in my house. This really ...
A. 8 March 2012: Well you taught your son how to behave, so why can't you just tell this man how you like it as well? If you aren't telling him then you're expecting him to read your mind. Good luck in trying to find a man with absolutely NO annoying habit. It's a ... (read in full...)
What is stronger, love or hate?
Q. Hi, I am wondering about a philosophical question, but one that has great impact on me personally. I am wondering, what is stronger, love or hate? I wonder about this because I have felt hate for a woman that has been very strong. She used m...
A. 8 March 2012: You can't help "falling in love", but falling in love is about the intoxication. The need to breed. Not love. You can prefectly well choose who to love.
You can also make a decision not to hate. It demands that you have a highly develope... (read in full...)
My boyfriend helps himself to the food in my home and I don't like it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six months. I see him at weekends and he stays at my house. When we go out he pays for meals. I am also generous. However, he gets up in the night or early morning and helps himself to food in my house. This really ...
A. 8 March 2012: I'm betting on this to have nothing to do with the actual food at ALL. I think you are upset, OP, because he eats when he wants without waiting for your approval. It is your home, and like me some years back, you want to have things your way and ... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm interesting enough to be dating!
Q. One of the main issues I have with myself when it comes to the lack of bothering with dating and relationships is that I just don't find myself interesting. Outside my minimum-wage retail job, I am at home on the computer playing games, l...
A. 8 March 2012: I think the problem here isn't whether other girls fin dyou interesting or not. The problem is YOU don't find yourself interesting, so you don't even bother giving people the chance to get to know you.
So where are you going to end up with thi... (read in full...)
What is stronger, love or hate?
Q. Hi, I am wondering about a philosophical question, but one that has great impact on me personally. I am wondering, what is stronger, love or hate? I wonder about this because I have felt hate for a woman that has been very strong. She used m...
A. 7 March 2012: Love is a sort of soft power. It nurtures, heals and grows. Hate is a stronger power as such, it kills, demolishes and destroys.
They are two very similar, yet very different feelings. They can be described as two close feelings in that they are... (read in full...)
My friends girlfriend wants to end their relationship because he used to watch porn
Q. So I have this friend (yes folks, it actually is a friend) who's going through something that neither of us can seem to really get our heads around. His girlfriend of over a year sent him a random text yesterday, immediately stating that she ...
A. 7 March 2012: Valid or non valid reasons to break up don't really excist. Either a person wants to break up (and find whatever reason they wish) or they don't want to break up (and ignore whatever reasons there might be to actually end it). The reasons are thus ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend helps himself to the food in my home and I don't like it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six months. I see him at weekends and he stays at my house. When we go out he pays for meals. I am also generous. However, he gets up in the night or early morning and helps himself to food in my house. This really ...
A. 7 March 2012: What puzzles me is this: "I have not encountered this 'taking' and 'asking' from any boyfriends before."
May I ask what on earth the previous boyfriends have done? Starved? Brought their personal picnic with them? I can imagine at breakfas... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to buy myself a sex toy?
Q. Am I allowed to buy a sex toy? I'm in a relationship with a man who has suffered with extreme premature ejaculation for the past two years. He has given up trying to do anything about it even though when he was on medication it was starting to ...
A. 6 March 2012: You're entitled to buy yourself a sex toy even if you were having the most amazing daily sex. I've got 3 vibrators myself, and I use them when I'm in relationships as well.
Yes, for your own sake, buy yourself a sex toy. May I recommed the Bull... (read in full...)
Went out for a drink with a male friend but didnt tell my husband the friend was a man, should I tell my husband the truth?
Q. Hi, I am in a slight dilemma over something that happened recently. I am a happily married woman with a stepson, and I have many male friends at work. They are just that, friends, and I would never think of doing anything with them that could harm ...
A. 6 March 2012: I thin it is odd that you don't feel you can tell your husband you have male friends. What happens if you told him "I went out for drinks with Steve from work"? Does he go nuts on you? Does he get jealous? Is he not allowing you to have male ... (read in full...)
Lots of sex, but he's still into porn?
Q. Hello all, My bf and I have been together for a bit over a year, we live together, and are generally very happy. My one concern with him is that he watches porn. Not a whole lot, but sometimes. We have sex most days and we do our best to live out...
A. 6 March 2012: If he lies about his porn use then we're talking about an entirely different matter. You didn't mention that he lies about it when you first asked the question. Lies are to be treated like all other lies, not acceptable. If he lies about his porn he ... (read in full...)
I can't get over her past. it's too extreme for me to handle. But I love her so much.
Q. Hi everyone. I've been having some difficulties in my relationship with my girlfriend. I've been seeing a therapist, looking up similar stories, and reading books to understand her. The issue is all about her past, and it stresses me out t...
A. 5 March 2012: "Also I do not completely agree on your idea of "you either love all of it or walk away." That sounds very immature and irresponsible. Relationships on that idea will crumble down easily whenever a hardship gets in between the two people. Hardships ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant from dry humping?
Q. Can dry humping get you pregnant even if there was no ejaculation and you were wearing underwear?...
A. 4 March 2012: No. Get educated on sex and how babies are made. Or search our archives on other questions of unlikely or odd situations in which you do not get pregnant.
... (read in full...)
A little nervous about these symptons
Q. Hi guys, so I'm on bc pills, I noticed yesterday I haven't had a period since feb3 and I've noticed I'm bloated, craving foods, everything goes right threw me, I'm never ful no matter what and how much I eat, breaking out like crazy, also mild ...
A. 4 March 2012: You wont be getting pregnancy symptoms that early anyway. And you took the tests and they came out negative. So what are you worried about? Sometimes your period comes late. Are you still on the birth control pill or did you stop them after ... (read in full...)
Lots of sex, but he's still into porn?
Q. Hello all, My bf and I have been together for a bit over a year, we live together, and are generally very happy. My one concern with him is that he watches porn. Not a whole lot, but sometimes. We have sex most days and we do our best to live out...
A. 4 March 2012: Have you searched our archives on this? Because this topic comes up over and over and over. No, it does not mean you don't satisfy him. No, it does not mean you are not enough. His porn is his me-time and his quality time with himself. If he wont ... (read in full...)
Our sex life sucks but she's been with dozens of other guys?
Q. When I dated my GF, everyone told me she was a freak and I thought that was cool. I never asked her how many men she slept with. After dating and moving in with her I noticed qualities that a "loose" person would have, mainly my male friends, ...
A. 4 March 2012: Well obviously her number of sexual partners is not a pointer to how much sex she will have when in a relationship, pr after 5 years in the same relationship. She probably has also been loyal to you, so for 5 years she's managed to be with just ONE ... (read in full...)
Could this mean I'm gay?
Q. I'm 14 and I do not like porn but I like Yaoi and sometimes I do not know if I'm sick or just gay,...
A. 4 March 2012: You're gay if you want to be in a sexual relationship with a real life man. Okay? What porn you watch, or what sexually stimulates you, is close to irrelevant. ... (read in full...)
My parents want me to rethink my future with him because of his unstable job, should I listen to my parents or my heart?
Q. Hello everyone :) I wanna ask some opinion, suggestion, and whatever comments from you guys. Here is my situation I'm having a great relationship with my bf for 2 years. We are in the same age, both 22. He is caring, mature and responsible. ...
A. 2 March 2012: You've asked this question before, but you do not answer the questions we have asked you. Why do YOU need to do HIS work? If his job at the family business requires physical strenght, why does it matter if YOU do not have this hysical strenght?
... (read in full...)
I can't afford the surgery but I don't want to wait!
Q. I have a complicated situation. When I was 18, my kidneys failed. I lost 36 pounds, and went from a C-cup breast size to a small B/A cup. It has been 5 years since the incident, and I haven't gained any weight regardless of my many attempts to do ...
A. 1 March 2012: SVC you make it sound like a thrill to be a member of the itty bitty titty committee :D Now I love my boobies even more!
32C here!
OP, you didn't say your actual bra size, you just said cups, but the cup size changes depending on the... (read in full...)
How can I make him see that he is disgusting and needs to lose weight?
Q. I have been married to my husband for almost 25 years and we have 4 children. When we got married I weighed 135 and he weighed 180. We looked and felt great. We did alot of outdoor activities. Now I am at 160 and he is about 310. He is fat! I can ...
A. 29 February 2012: You need to be honest with him and drop the silk gloves. I know, he'll get mad. He'll get offended. He'll get hurt. But he needs to hear this.
It's been over 20 years. If YOU can't tell him and have this conversation with him, then no one can.... (read in full...)
I can't afford the surgery but I don't want to wait!
Q. I have a complicated situation. When I was 18, my kidneys failed. I lost 36 pounds, and went from a C-cup breast size to a small B/A cup. It has been 5 years since the incident, and I haven't gained any weight regardless of my many attempts to do ...
A. 29 February 2012: I advice you to get friends with the same breast size as you so you can see that you really aren't an odd case out or any less of a woman. Womanhood lies not in the size of breasts, but in how you conduct yourself. However, spending time with women ... (read in full...)
His sweet words to me, so romantic, well, he's used them before with his past girlfriends!
Q. my boyfriend was very romantic when we first got together. he used to send me loonggg text messages telling me how he felt about me and how he had really fallen for me and i loved it. as we got further along the line these messages died down, though ...
A. 29 February 2012: He means it. Just because he's said it before doesn't mean he can't feel the same things again you know.
Stop snooping, this is what you get from it. You just end up hurting yourself and rocking the boat. Don't ruin a nice relationship by picki... (read in full...)
Should I pursue this beautiful girl who has a boyfriend? Wait and see what happens? Or run?
Q. I have been talking to this girl for a couple months. She is really nice and it seems like she likes me. The way she talks to me in person and when we text seems like she does. Its just really flirty.The thing is I did not start the flirting. She ...
A. 29 February 2012: I don't think it is wrong to flirt back as long as you are single. However I know others would think this would be wrong of you, seeing as she isn't single. It's like participating in cheating. And I think leading someone on by heavy flirting when ... (read in full...)
How long do relationships last?
Q. Simple. how long does an average relationship last? I don't know much about this and I'm curious. it would also be helpful if you knew when a guy might want to break up? I'm not having trouble at the moment with my current bf or anything but I want ...
A. 28 February 2012: The relationship lasts for as long as the person who wants it the shortest period of time to last. If you want it to last for 20 years, and he wants 10, it'll be 10. If you want it for 10 days and he wants 6 months, it'll be 10 days. So that one ... (read in full...)
My fiance wont have sex with me, so how do I reduce my sex drive?
Q. I am a 20 year old male and im posting this because i simply do not know what to do with m y fiance. her sex drive is low and mine is pretty high. We have been together for 2 years so far.We started having sex pretty early in the relationship and ...
A. 28 February 2012: Oh, and if you stop coming on to her for sex, if you stop initializing... She wont initialize or want sex. She'll probably not even notice the sacrifices you make. I did that, I tried to not take the first step, but what happened is that I just went ... (read in full...)
My fiance wont have sex with me, so how do I reduce my sex drive?
Q. I am a 20 year old male and im posting this because i simply do not know what to do with m y fiance. her sex drive is low and mine is pretty high. We have been together for 2 years so far.We started having sex pretty early in the relationship and ...
A. 28 February 2012: Stop thinking there is something wrong with you that you need to change. If anything at least ask your girlfriend to also start getting active when it comes to finding ways to increase her sex drive.
Don't marry her. Being constantly rejected... (read in full...)
I really want to change my promiscuous ways! Please help!
Q. I was a very promiscuous girl, from 18-24. I would sleep withguys (oral sex mostly) without knowing them that well, it was REALLY easy to get me in bed. I couldn't form lasting relationships b/c of this. I didn't want to be with a guy i slept ...
A. 28 February 2012: Get yourself a steady lover then. And get your fix for sex with him while you date other people. Then when you meet someone you want to take things further with you cut the lover out.
I think there is a difference of sorts between FWB and a lo... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend see me as a respectable girl after I give blowjobs?
Q. one time, a close friend of mine and i were discussing sex. i asked him if he was interested in a blowjob and he said if it were coming from a girl he didn't respect, then yes, he would want a bj but if it was from someone he cared about, then ...
A. 28 February 2012: I think that friend of yours was a virgin who watched too much porn. It sounds like he's never gotten a blowjob before in his life, to be honest.
No, guys do not disrespect women who give blowjobs. Men with a healthy view on sex see blowjobs... (read in full...)
I can't get over her past. it's too extreme for me to handle. But I love her so much.
Q. Hi everyone. I've been having some difficulties in my relationship with my girlfriend. I've been seeing a therapist, looking up similar stories, and reading books to understand her. The issue is all about her past, and it stresses me out t...
A. 28 February 2012: A trauma such as sexual abuse is not only an explanation, it is a reason. It is not an excuse. If you hurt your legs you end up in a wheel chair. That wheel chair was not more of a choice. You could of course choose to crawl around on the ground, ... (read in full...)
Can a woman propose to her boyfriend?
Q. In this day and age, is it completely out of line for a woman to propose to a man?...
A. 28 February 2012: Do it tomorrow. If that isn't too short notice. 29th of February is a traditional day for women to propose. Or wait 4 years.
But nah, of course women can propose any time of the year if they want to. If the man wants to marry you he'll say yes,... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a wandering eye
Q. I feel the pressure to look good because my boyfriend has wandering eyes and constantly look at pretty girls. How do I assure myself that one day when my youth is gone and he'd find someone else??? Is this normal?...
A. 28 February 2012: What do you mean he looks at other pretty girls? Doesn't he also look at people he passes by, or does he deliberately close his eyes so he can't see anything but pretty girls?
I think in most of these cases the girlfriend is just being insecure... (read in full...)
I really want to change my promiscuous ways! Please help!
Q. I was a very promiscuous girl, from 18-24. I would sleep withguys (oral sex mostly) without knowing them that well, it was REALLY easy to get me in bed. I couldn't form lasting relationships b/c of this. I didn't want to be with a guy i slept ...
A. 27 February 2012: Maybe you haven't realized this yet, but all these guys who you sleep with so quickly.. well they also sleep with you quickly, don't they? So all of them are promiscuous (or man whores if you prefer). Basically, half of the problem lies with you.. ... (read in full...)
I'm married, and falling to pieces because I had sex with another woman. What do I do now?
Q. Hello. I did something really stupid. I had sex with another woman, therefore cheating on my wife. It only happened once and my wife doesn't know. I have no idea why on earth I did it. There's no chance that I'll ever see the woman I had sex with ...
A. 27 February 2012: One important thing I forgot to ask: did you use protection? Are you certain this will not come back at a later point, for example in the form of an STI or a child?
Get tested for STI's! The last thing you want to do is have your wife find out... (read in full...)
I'm married, and falling to pieces because I had sex with another woman. What do I do now?
Q. Hello. I did something really stupid. I had sex with another woman, therefore cheating on my wife. It only happened once and my wife doesn't know. I have no idea why on earth I did it. There's no chance that I'll ever see the woman I had sex with ...
A. 27 February 2012: Figure out why you did it. You need to know why, otherwise you might be doing it again. Be self critical, but be realistic. You had sex with another woman because.... No made up excuses, just tell yourself the cold harsh facts. That's the only way ... (read in full...)
Is he just scared of being gay or is he just messing with my emotions for fun?
Q. Hi, im not sure if im just going nuts or what but i swear my best friend is screwing with my head. he knows im gay and he knows im in love with him, but he has a girlfriend who he is on and off with constantly. when we're just chilling out o...
A. 27 February 2012: He's being rather selfish you know. He takes advantage of you, thats what he is doing. He knows you are in love with him, and you allow this behaviour from him. If you were a platonic friend, imagine if you were not gay, or if you were a girl.. ... (read in full...)
I can't get over her past. it's too extreme for me to handle. But I love her so much.
Q. Hi everyone. I've been having some difficulties in my relationship with my girlfriend. I've been seeing a therapist, looking up similar stories, and reading books to understand her. The issue is all about her past, and it stresses me out t...
A. 27 February 2012:
What I do not understand is how you could be so stressed out and faint because of this? Did you happen to think about it and then just faint? Did you argue over it and then faint?
Victims of sexual abuse sadly do tend to cope with their trauma... (read in full...)
My sons are angry and think I am a bad mother when all I tried to do was give them a good life
Q. I have just had a very heated conversation with my teenage sons aged 17 and nearly 20. Both them feel they have had terrible childhoods because I use to smack them and threaten them with implements when they were younger and according to them also ...
A. 27 February 2012: Where do you think your children learned to have temper tantrums, be abusive (to you and others as well it sounds, with these "incidents")? You used to hit them, yet when they fight back and hurt you you cry out that you are a victim. How many times ... (read in full...)
How can I become a father-like figure to my girlfriend?
Q. I have a girlfriend and all would be fine, but more and more she keeps hinting to me that she wants me to be a father-like figure. It reached a stage when she gets irritated if I try to be cute with her (e.g. calling her cute names or trying to be ...
A. 27 February 2012: Treat her like she is a child. That ought to do it. ... (read in full...)
How can I become a father-like figure to my girlfriend?
Q. I have a girlfriend and all would be fine, but more and more she keeps hinting to me that she wants me to be a father-like figure. It reached a stage when she gets irritated if I try to be cute with her (e.g. calling her cute names or trying to be ...
A. 27 February 2012: I think your girlfriend should stop trying to change your personality. If she can't love you the way you are then she's not for you, obviously. She wants someone else, and she gets annoyed at you for just being who you are.
If you want to chang... (read in full...)
Should I pursue this beautiful girl who has a boyfriend? Wait and see what happens? Or run?
Q. I have been talking to this girl for a couple months. She is really nice and it seems like she likes me. The way she talks to me in person and when we text seems like she does. Its just really flirty.The thing is I did not start the flirting. She ...
A. 27 February 2012: You know what? In Norwegian we call these girls "luremus". I believe the translation is "cock tease". They enjoy the attention from men, they flirt, they cross the boundaries... not because they actually want you. And not because they are single ... (read in full...)
Do men like females who are very experimental sexually?
Q. Do men like females who are very experimental sexually? For example, my boyfriend and I went shopping and bought a huge jar of pickles. I said that he should f*** me with one of them. (I'm not always quite so strange, I was 1/2 joking, 1/2 serious, ...
A. 27 February 2012: He's just not as adventurous as you, or he is adventurous in a different way. I don't see anything erotic about fucking someone with a pickle. Your boyfriend probably doesn't find that erotic either. However that doesn't mean something else wont do ... (read in full...)
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