| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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My girlfriend cries when we have sex! What is wrong and how do I help her?
Q. seriously i dont get what is wrong with my girlfriend when we first had sex i realised she was crying slowly as we were at it...since then anytime i sleep with her in the same bed she gets nightmares and also cries like she does when we are having ...
A. 13 January 2012: Maybe she's been raped. How do you engage in sexual activity with her if she cries? Do you stop when she cries? Does she cry when you kiss her and touch her, aside from sex?
Stop having sex with her and start talking to her. Figure out what's g... (read in full...)
My FWB wants to have a baby with me!!
Q. ok so im 18 and ive been a friends with benifit with this guy but it has grown into where neither of us are with anybody else but he wont say that we are in a relationship... so now we are having trouble seeing each other because his family doesnt ...
A. 13 January 2012: Tell him if he is ready to be a grown up he just needs to move out from mom and dad. Then you'll get to see each other as much as you want, and it'll be cheaper than a baby. Besides, without a baby around you'll have time for each other too.
... (read in full...)
My daughter is 4 years old and has never met her father. He is single now and I am hoping that he will assume his responsibilities... is this wrong of me?
Q. I have a daughter who is 4 years old, ever since she has been born she has not seen her father. I met her father at a bar and within a few weeks of dating I becasme pregnant. We broke up after being together a month. Then I found out i was pregnant ...
A. 12 January 2012: I am glad you found some help in us. I think you deserve to go on with your life without him for your own sake as well. It is tiring alway sitting and waiting for someone who wont show up, hoping they will come, give and give of yourself and give ... (read in full...)
Why am I so jealous of this girl? And how can I stop this, it's ruining our relationship!
Q. I've been with my bf for 3years. Since we started working a year ago,i became very jealous of a certain female coworker of his. They're always together during work hours, sometimes hangout in groups of 3-4 after work, text occasionally. They went ...
A. 12 January 2012: There could be any number of reasons. My best bet at this.. and you wont like it, is that she has something you want. You are jealous of her and something she's got that you don't have.
I don't think you are jealous because you think she will hit... (read in full...)
My daughter is 4 years old and has never met her father. He is single now and I am hoping that he will assume his responsibilities... is this wrong of me?
Q. I have a daughter who is 4 years old, ever since she has been born she has not seen her father. I met her father at a bar and within a few weeks of dating I becasme pregnant. We broke up after being together a month. Then I found out i was pregnant ...
A. 12 January 2012: Move on from him then. He isn't on the birth certificate, he has no interest in her, and she is better off with him completely out of her life than one foot in and one out, which seems to be the best you can hope for right now. This man will never ... (read in full...)
My daughter is 4 years old and has never met her father. He is single now and I am hoping that he will assume his responsibilities... is this wrong of me?
Q. I have a daughter who is 4 years old, ever since she has been born she has not seen her father. I met her father at a bar and within a few weeks of dating I becasme pregnant. We broke up after being together a month. Then I found out i was pregnant ...
A. 12 January 2012: Aren't there courts in your country who deal with disputes of this matter? Contact a lawyer. Are you getting your child support? He is responsible for his child whether he wants to or not. Question is if you really think your daughter wont be better ... (read in full...)
I'm sad I had my baby and now he's just going to get bigger! Has anyone felt this way?
Q. Hello everyone. this is my question. i just had a baby 3 days ago, and, well instead of having post partum depression, im having quite the opposite. It seems im sad now because hes out of my tummy and is only going to get bigger from here on out :( ...
A. 12 January 2012: Are you sure this is the opposite of post partum depression? You are experiencing sorrow directly linked to having given birth, this sounds like could be post partum depression. Talk to your doctor.
Remember that he was getting bigger while in... (read in full...)
Queefing during doggy-style, is there any way to stop it?
Q. When me and my boyfriend have sexual intercourse, we tried the 'doggy style' position, I love it because of the deep penetration but whenever we do it, my vagina makes a weird 'farting' noise? People call it a 'queef'. When it happens I stop and I'm ...
A. 12 January 2012: It is air being pushed into your vagina. Probably for you and your boyfriend this particular position is what is causing it. It might not happen with another man, because it's got to do with movement of the two of you together, and also his penis ... (read in full...)
My sex dirve has gone down and become a "chore"...Please help me?
Q. When do u reach ur Sexual Peak? Im a women in her 30s. I dnt knw why but my Sex drive has gone dwn. My partner is 7 yrs older then me. We have been together for 8 years. In the beginning sex was GREAT! But over the years it has fallen dwn and got ...
A. 12 January 2012: Have you recently started a new form of contraception? Different hormonal contraceptives can make your sex drive fluctuate.
Other than that, perhaps you could try to take some time off the sex and give it a break and see how you feel? There ne... (read in full...)
How can we our first time spectacular?
Q. Okay, so early last year I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend at the time. So that was my "first time" whether I liked it or not. Yeah, I know, how lovely. Anyway, I now have a new, wonderful boyfriend whome is a virgin and we're discuss...
A. 12 January 2012: Like I said, for the best first time experience do it when you both are really turned on and it'll go by itself. If you are both uneasy about it, nervous, unsure, frigid or not really into it, then you'll be sitting there looking stupidly at each ... (read in full...)
How can we our first time spectacular?
Q. Okay, so early last year I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend at the time. So that was my "first time" whether I liked it or not. Yeah, I know, how lovely. Anyway, I now have a new, wonderful boyfriend whome is a virgin and we're discuss...
A. 11 January 2012: I think you need to let your boyfriend know about the flashbacks as well, and also you need to teach him what to do if you get a flashback. For example if he should hold you, or leave the room and make you a cup of tea, or talk to you or be quiet. ... (read in full...)
How can we our first time spectacular?
Q. Okay, so early last year I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend at the time. So that was my "first time" whether I liked it or not. Yeah, I know, how lovely. Anyway, I now have a new, wonderful boyfriend whome is a virgin and we're discuss...
A. 11 January 2012: First times with a new partner can be wonderful. My first time with my now ex was absolutely amazing (he was a virgin too by the way). It was amazing because we were just so insanely turned on by each other. Get the chemistry working, build up the ... (read in full...)
If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him?
Q. If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him? I wish I knew these sorts of things intuitively without having to ask people. I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrom...
A. 11 January 2012: You have to make clear what you want to ask. But to me it seems you asked, and you got your answers. What you must understand is that there is nothing wrong with the answers you have gotten. You should not dismiss them because you believe they are ... (read in full...)
If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him?
Q. If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him? I wish I knew these sorts of things intuitively without having to ask people. I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrom...
A. 11 January 2012: The last message from ChaliceOdamnatio was perfectly fine, and not ignorant.... (read in full...)
I miss my ex so much it hurts and I can't stop crying!
Q. My story is a little complicated so I will try to make it short as possible. I was enganged to a guy. We were together for 4 years. I found out that he cheated on me... (several times) so I left him. I left him without a fight... I just packed my ...
A. 11 January 2012: He cheated because whatever you and him had wasn't.. well, it wasn't working, and he was a cheater. Maybe you leaving him was what it took for him to be a better man, but if you ask me I wouldn't trust it. I mean really, it might look perfect, but ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got angry because I am too small for sex! What should I do?
Q. my vagina is too small for me to have sex. my boyfriend got angry!!! what can i do? should I make it bigger? but how?...
A. 10 January 2012: Dump your boyfriend. Then go see your doctor to find out if your vagina really is too small to have sex. But dump your boyfriend first, he sounds like he doesn't care much about you. ... (read in full...)
If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him?
Q. If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him? I wish I knew these sorts of things intuitively without having to ask people. I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrom...
A. 10 January 2012: "Everyone takes in the other person when they meet or talk, by looking them over and noticing what they are wearing or how they look. So that part is normal."
" If you want to have a look you need to look when it isn't as obvious what you are look... (read in full...)
He'd rather watch football than hang out with me and my parents
Q. So this weekend me and my family are going out and we always invite my bf. so i called him and he said that he couldn't go because he is going to be watching football that day.so i got kinda hurt that he would rather watch football then hang out ...
A. 10 January 2012: He's allowed to say no, isn't he? If not then why ask him to come, if he is expected to come along then you need to talk to him and tell him that one criteria to be in a relationship with you is that he must attend whatever gathering you have with ... (read in full...)
Getting frustrated with his lack of proposal.....how long were you together before you got engaged? What is the average?
Q. I am rather depressed of late. I am 28, and I've been with my partner for three years, he's 26. It seems that everyone around me is getting either married, or engaged... But me. I am starting to feel left behind and frustrated with my partner's lack ...
A. 10 January 2012: Do you want to marry him? Do you want to know if he wants to marry you? Then ask him. It is modern times, it's even a leap year if you are old-fashioned. In leap years the women are traditionally allowed to propose. Just ask him "Do you want to ... (read in full...)
My husband, the stripper and the bouncer
Q. A few days ago, my husband came to me and told me that he had been taken advantage of by a stripper. He had gone to a strip club for lunch and a show. A stripper convinced him to go in the back room for a private dance for $20. Once there, she ...
A. 10 January 2012: Ps. If such an incident happens again I would question whether he can be trusted or not. But this is sort of like going into a candy store "just to have a look" and then the salesman tries to convince you to buy candy, and you buy it, and then you ... (read in full...)
My husband, the stripper and the bouncer
Q. A few days ago, my husband came to me and told me that he had been taken advantage of by a stripper. He had gone to a strip club for lunch and a show. A stripper convinced him to go in the back room for a private dance for $20. Once there, she ...
A. 10 January 2012: I am sorry but I have to side with the anonymous poster. He knew what place he was going to. Now he might not have expected the woman to grab at him, but he shouldn't have gone to the strip club in the first place, nor should he have gone with her ... (read in full...)
If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him?
Q. If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him? I wish I knew these sorts of things intuitively without having to ask people. I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrom...
A. 10 January 2012: You are not appreciating the answers you get, for some reason. We are only answering your question, and men and women alike can give answers on this site. We are also telling you how we feel about staring, looks or glances all the same. If these ... (read in full...)
Is my penis really that small? My wife seems to think I am lacking in that department.....
Q. I need some advice on the classic "size" question. My wife has indicated that she thinks I am lacking a bit, or not average. This bothers me. I am about 5.8 x 5.1. However, when not erect, its about 2-3. From others perspective, is th...
A. 9 January 2012: Deal breaker? Obviously your penis size isn't a deal breaker as your wife married you. And no, world wide your penis size wouldn't be a deal breaker.
It doesn't really matter though if other women find this a dealbreaker or not. It doesn't ... (read in full...)
How can I make boyfriend feel better about himself?
Q. My bf of 2 years has grown distant from me. He used to be wonderful and loving. Recently he has admitted to me that it is because he is depressed and feels like worthless crap because of the poor financial decisions he has made and how he is going ...
A. 9 January 2012: Help him get into therapy. That's really all you can do. And stop telling him he is stupid, be supportive instead. But be firm, you're not his therapist, so you shouldn't act like one either, that'll just drain you. Help him get help instead. ... (read in full...)
Would you read your partner's diary if they accidently left it out?
Q. If your significant other left a notebook or journal at your place by accident, would you read it? Do you think you could resist, or would curiosity get the best of you?...
A. 9 January 2012: I wouldn't read it. An ex of mine notoriously left his e-mail open, his facebook open, one time he even forgot his phone at my place and I could have kept it and snooped around as much as I wanted.
Even if I am curious to know what "secrets... (read in full...)
Is there really someone out there for everyone?
Q. Do people actually always find someone.....? I'm 28 and am wondering if there really is someone out there for everyone. I have friends and am comfortable enough in a crowd but I just can't seem to meet anyone. Everyone keeps saying to be pat...
A. 9 January 2012: Everyone can find someone. But you don't want to find someone, you're looking for the more specific One with big O, and THAT one is elusive. That one you might meet and lose. That one you might never meet. Then again you might meet, but discard ... (read in full...)
Are men intimidated by smart women?
Q. Before i start rambling and telling the story behind my question..guess i should jump straight to it. Are men intimidated by smart women? So i'm 17, and not gettin into this whole subject, but i'm really close friends with a 35 year old that i'...
A. 9 January 2012: He is an older, close family friend. Why would he feel intimidated or turned off by you getting an education, unless he planned to have sex with you or get into a relationship with you?
No, he probably is just getting bored with it, like CindyCar... (read in full...)
If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him?
Q. If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him? I wish I knew these sorts of things intuitively without having to ask people. I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrom...
A. 9 January 2012: "Looking for any amount of time" can become staring. If you want to have a look you need to look when it isn't as obvious what you are looking at. Everyone takes in the other person when they meet or talk, by looking them over and noticing what they ... (read in full...)
A really nice guy - does he want something more??
Q. Hi, I have a friend who is just super-nice to me and that is what is bothering me. He is just so nice. He's a friend, and we've been friends for about 2 years now and we met through mutual friends. A few months ago, he relocated near my area, ...
A. 9 January 2012: They do exist, but when something is too good to be true it usually is. So he is a nice guy, as far as you know. But when he is nice in some areas he is bound to have other areas where he isn't mr. perfect. He is, after all, only human and not some ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me! he's invited me for his birthday, should I go or not?
Q. My boyfriend finished with me today. I am so upset and to finish off he says to me, i'm still welcome to go to his 21st at the end of this month. Is this a good idea? all his family will be there as well. Any suggestion how I get over him or wheth...
A. 8 January 2012: Screw the birthday party. It was .. nice I suppose that he invited you, but just be happy for the invitation and don't go. You'll just be miserable and uncomfortable, besides if there are drinks imagine how much more emotional you could get.. Too ... (read in full...)
What should I do? I love showing my body on Cam to other guys but I already have a boyfriend!
Q. I have an issue... I was just in chatroulette and pretty much showed myself half naked to some random people, and well.. i wonder if it's alright, i mean if it's a big deal.. if i should admit it, i actually love showing my body to others but the ...
A. 8 January 2012: Most people like attention. But have you ever heard of an attention-whore? An attention-whore is someone who sells themselves off cheap just to get attention. Which is, no offense just being honest, what you are doing. You are showing yourself off ... (read in full...)
If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him?
Q. If you were chilling with a guy and he looked at your breasts for any amount of time would you not want to date him? I wish I knew these sorts of things intuitively without having to ask people. I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrom...
A. 8 January 2012: It's not a dealbreaker. But it will lower your chances, yes. It is rude to stare at a womans breasts, especially if you are talking to her... You should look into her eyes. If you stare it'll make you look like a boob-fixated man who has no interest ... (read in full...)
He won't come and say goodbye to me ....
Q. Dear Cupid I am leaving in 2 days out of state for few months for my work. It would be difficult for my bf to visit me once i leave, its very expensive. So i asked him to come and visit me once before i leave, i cannot visit him right now cause ...
A. 7 January 2012: He is sick. He can't come. This isn't a matter of him disappointing you or him not wanting to come. This is a matter of facts. If he could have visited you he would have, but he is sick. Too bad, but that's how it is. ... (read in full...)
How can I either improve my singing voice or learn to feel comfortable with it as is?
Q. At school I got put in a class that I didn't pick because what I picked was full. The class I got put in was chorus and I can't sing at all. Today we song and I was the one that stuck out because I had the worst voice so I had to practice in front...
A. 7 January 2012: You need to start practicing at home if you aren't already. Sing the songs you are given in class, or find songs that you feel are easier for you to sing. Record your singing and listen to it afterwards to hear where you must improve, or what you ... (read in full...)
Feel like she is acting like a single, not us as a couple. Is my feeling valid and normal?
Q. We have been together for about 9.5 months. We are compatible with each other and intend to take the relationship to the next level when the time is right. There is this thing that keep bugging me and upsetting me a bit. I am 32 and she is 28. B...
A. 6 January 2012: And here I though this was a typical ego trip thing guys did. Guess that was me jumping the gun. I've had this happen to me too, MAAANY times. And by inexperienced guys who don't think like a couple, but think like they are still single.
I don... (read in full...)
I treat this guy like a king, but he is unorganized has not time for me and doesn't like anything I suggest to try to help!
Q. I'm a 43 year old divorced woman dating a 46 year old divorced man for a year. We have each been divorced for years. I've had 2 relationships before him. One with a man who was a jackass and treated me badly, but whom I loved so very much...I ...
A. 6 January 2012: My thoughts? You're too good for him. You are a giver, and he is an ignorant taker. For a while it works great for you, the giver, as he needs you to give so much all the time. It makes you feel needed and wanted and necessary in his life. It's like ... (read in full...)
Is he worth pursuing or is it just a terrible idea?
Q. Dear Cupid... So in November I met this guy and we started talking and hitting it off immediately. I thought he was so sweet (and still do) and we told each other everything. However... I was honest with him and told him that there was someon...
A. 6 January 2012: You don't have the guts to tell him he is acting crazy? Do yourself and him as well a favour and tell him he is acting crazy. Tell him that because of his reactions you feared of telling him the truth. Then tell him the truth. Then break up with ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend rates guys and says whether she would date them or not?
Q. I'm a marine currently on deployment. I have a girlfriend back home and i just wanted an outside view on my situation so that i know im not thinking irrational or being too jealous. The thing is that ive noticed that lately my girlfriend has been...
A. 6 January 2012: " i know she flirts with alot of guys, but i try not to bring it up whenever i get the chance to talk to her because i really just want to be able to talk to her without scaring her into making excuses to get off the phone with me"
This line tro... (read in full...)
Why does he choke me or restrain me during sex?
Q. The guy im having sex with will start to choke me or pin me down right before im going to orgasim. if i push his hand away from my neck or move away from his hold he will stop and hold back for a bit. then it starts all over again. he wont let me ...
A. 6 January 2012: Uhm... the question is rather this: why are you with a guy who tries to choke you and restrain you while you have sex? ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 5 January 2012: PS. the girl who got pregnant at 18 is now 22 years old.... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 5 January 2012: I think if she wants to have a kid now she should just go and do it. Some women have dreams of becoming mothers and not have career, they want the man to be the breadwinner and work at a low paid job for ages, until the children are old enough for ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 3 January 2012: Well it's your life. I know that people have different ideas about what is most important to them. People got to do what they think is best for them, in the end. But like I said, if you haven't gotten pregnant after a year of trying that is when you ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 3 January 2012: Getting pregnant can take it's time. It's actually difficult to get pregnant, you need to be ovulating and of course your natural level of fertility plays in. Usually I think they say if you've been trying for a year and not gotten pregnant you can ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
