A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok i have loved this girl for over a year or so she goes to my college and everything but i have lost trust in her over these months.We share fb passwords and i realised that she has often told her friends somethings i would of liked to be between us and she has called idiot and wierd and she is the type to gossip with her best friend which annoys me because she seems to know a lot about me and i do not really know her. I just cant even bear thinking what she could say about me on bbm to her friends. She tries to hide her conversations with boys even when they are nothing big and its like why?? in my head. She always goes on my fb and reads my convos with people and i know she lacks trust in me too. She is stubborn and i beleive can be shy and our treatment is often on/off can be stressing and annoying. Shes always thought gd of me but ive lost connection with her and have told her n thought we should forget it. She says she wouldnt expect it of me but has let me down a lot before and has aknowleged it too.? I cant help feeling bad when i know its the right thing we've discussed marriage and everything. Whats annoying is that she claims all boys are the same when she knows am not and that she has done numerous bad things i.e bitch n stuff. Shes faithful to me and loves me i know theres too much friction for it to be all good esp her bestfriend this whole bitchin stuff will continue and i feel i cant tell her anyfing personal and that most of the timeit aint her making decisions its her friends on her behalf
View related questions:
best friend, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Deathbunny  +, writes (11 February 2012):
First of all, many women/girls/female Homo sapiens feel the need for validation by friends, family, etc. It's because they often rely on these networks to make up for areas they might otherwise lack. Things like resources/money, authority, influence, etc. Because of it, they tend to "back check" what they do and why they did it by running it past friend(s) or a parent or someone they depend on.So, get used to that. Second, there are two issues when you talk about Facebook being problems. The first is content--what information is there--and the second is access--who is seeing what. Because we're not all one big happy family and we end up in situations where what we say might be used against us, we tend to be aware of who we talk to (access) and what we tell them (content) in real life.Facebook (and sharing passwords) get us in trouble when the wrong people--people who are willing/able to use what we say against us--have access to content because either we unintentionally gave it to them or we're stupid and give them passwords or other access.So, you can control this "Facebook" problem one of two ways. 1) Kill the access to the information by either killing your Facebook account or heavily and consciously altering your privacy settings. 2) Be more cognizant (aware) of what content you are putting out there and who is having access.Additionally, since you already shared passwords, unilaterally deleting your account... Likely to be interpreted as cheating or hiding something. Which has social and relationship consequences of its own.So, my suggestion is to become more aware of what you are putting on Facebook (content) and who can get access to it (access), which now seems to include your girlfriend and her Council of Friends...
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 February 2012):
 With all of this going on, is she really someone you should think about marrying? Is she a god life-partner for you? I think you and her had a nice time while it lasted, but now that times is over. You and her are not good together, you do not trust each other, she calls you names behind your back, you both snoop and spy on each other on facebook and whatnot. Just because you have each others passwords doesn't mean you should snoop.
You should talk to her and have both of you change your passwords so you can have your privacy and prevent yourself and her from snooping. You only find out things that hurt you both. Next, just because you have discussed married doesn't mean you have proposed and the wedding is tomorrow. Things being the way they are I see marriage as a foolish thing to think of. You and her can barely get along as it is, marriage demands a greater connection and way better communication levels than this. Or else THIS is how it will be for the rest of your life, and probably worse.
I think it is time you accept the facts and move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (11 February 2012):
 Yep, delete facebook. Just leads to all sorts of pointless arguments.
I have a mate who broke up with his girlfriend because he read messages on facebook that she was sending to a guy BEFORE my mate had even met her....that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard and all over facebook.
Just get rid of the hassle.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jessica M Payne  +, writes (11 February 2012):
Hi.
I would just like to say to both of you DELETE FACEBOOK!
Facebook ruins so many relationships, causes too much problems.
I know this from recent experiences through people i know interferring with my relationship.
...............................
|
