| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 29 March 2012: Oh, come on Cerberus, we discussed feminism didn't we? And my conclusion is that you're every bit as much of a feminist as me, you just don't like the label because it has "femi-" in it. Female supremacy isn't a feminist thought.
I'm with per... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask your girlfriend to dress a certain way for sex?
Q. Hi everyone, I've been going out with my new girlfriend for a few months now and we've had sex a few times. While it's been great, I find it incredibly arousing when a woman 'dresses for sex' (i.e. lingerie, especially thigh-high stockings). She'...
A. 27 March 2012: I don't think it is wrong at all to ask. In fact I think most women will be happy to know you are one of those men who are aroused by sexy lingerie. Most women love to dress up and be sexy for their man, but it is difficult if the guy is not into ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 years told me I am not interesting! How should I take this comment?
Q. How does someone make there self more interesting? my bf told me the other night that I wasnt interesting enough and that's why he never can talk to me. we been together for 4years now idk but he's always been really quiet but I just feel like he's ...
A. 27 March 2012: "How does someone make there self more interesting?"
By spending time with people who actually think you are interesting, rather than spending time with someone who doesn't.
You're not the one who has to change who you are, you merely have ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my depressed brother. What should I do?
Q. My brother is 19 and dropped out of his coarse. He has been looking for work, but in this economy it isn't easy. He isn't sure what he wants to do. Also his best friend committed suicide recently. It was a shock to everyone, including him. My broth...
A. 27 March 2012: Are you living on your own? It sounds like you are still living at home with your brother as well. Help him by making an example. Motivate by showing him what you can do with YOUR life. Move out. Get yourself a job. Get yourself up on your feet and ... (read in full...)
I feel like the spark is gone. Will it ever come back?
Q. Why am I not as happy as I should be? I love him so much:(? My ex and I got back together after a year split. I love him so much and hated it without him. He broke up with me cause he didn't want a relationship at that time. We...
A. 27 March 2012: It's been 3 days. It's been the weekend in other words. I do not see a reason to freak out about 3 days. Calm down. It's been just 3 days, and what exactly have you and him agreed on?
Unless you and him have agreed that it is important for BOTH... (read in full...)
Is there anything that can make up for a sub-optimal sized penis?
Q. If you are a woman who can have vaginal orgasms during penetrative sex (not g-spot orgasms), can you please tell me whether there is anything at all about a man that can make up for a sub-optimal sized penis during penetrative sex? E.g. for an av...
A. 26 March 2012: "I am not asking about love, just sexual pleasure."
Well, women are NOT men. We care about LOVE, and sexual pleasure comes from ... you guessed it: love.
Want to be good in bed and make up for a sub-optimal size? Then realize that women get of... (read in full...)
At what point is it not considered a rebound relationship?
Q. If after a long-term relationship ends the dumper becomes involved with one woman after another at which point do these relationships not be considered rebounds? Also, if the dumper becomes heavily involved with these other woman immediately ...
A. 25 March 2012: "at which point do these relationships not be considered rebounds?"
They stop being rebounds when they aren't rebounds any longer... A "rebound" is not a clinical term you know. It's a subjective term. If YOU think your partner is just a rebound,... (read in full...)
My friend owes me money and will not pay up!
Q. This isn't exactly a Relationship problem but I have a 'friend' who I gave a loan of €250 last year, she is now engaged to her boyfriend of two months and quit her job to spend more time with him. I have panic attacks due to lack of money and I ha...
A. 25 March 2012: Anonymous 123 does bring up an interesting point. If you can't have your money back at least you can harass her on facebook and e-mails and text messages asking for your money back. You can start to send texts to her family and boyfriend as well, ... (read in full...)
My friend owes me money and will not pay up!
Q. This isn't exactly a Relationship problem but I have a 'friend' who I gave a loan of €250 last year, she is now engaged to her boyfriend of two months and quit her job to spend more time with him. I have panic attacks due to lack of money and I ha...
A. 24 March 2012: If you don't have any proof of it then it'll be hard to get authorities involved. Anyway, I think your claim is too small for courts to bother with it, sorry. Even if you press the authorities on her to get your money back, it'll cost you money ... (read in full...)
Can we have sex on our wedding night when he's going to be in a cast?
Q. I am 24 and a virgin. It's not like I didn't choose this because I wanted to give my all to my gorgeous fiance. Anyway we get married in May and I was fine with the idea of how we will spend the night and what we will get up to in the bedroom. ...
A. 24 March 2012: I don't think his ankle being in a cast will have anything to say for the sex. Honestly. He's not going to use his ankle, he's going to use his other body parts. So unless you were planning on circus like sex hanging from the ceiling.. no, his ankle ... (read in full...)
How does a woman stay happy regardless of whether she's in a relationship or not?
Q. People always say as a woman, you should not need a man to make you happy. I agree with that, and I think its important to learn to stand on your own two feet and be happy with your own company. But sooner or later, you will meet a guy. And if th...
A. 23 March 2012: Well, your theory is that once a woman is in a relationship she becomes dependent on the man, and lose all ability to be happy on her own. All her work to be happy on her own is somehow useless.
That's not exactly how it works. If you drop who... (read in full...)
I feel like the spark is gone. Will it ever come back?
Q. Why am I not as happy as I should be? I love him so much:(? My ex and I got back together after a year split. I love him so much and hated it without him. He broke up with me cause he didn't want a relationship at that time. We...
A. 23 March 2012: Listen, you're expecting the wrong thing. No, the spark will not come back, at least not right now. Maybe a year from now, or two years down the line when you have grown to trust each other again and feel closer again. Maybe then it'll come back.
... (read in full...)
I am jealous that other men got her while she was partying, carefree and slim, and I only get the "in debt and less attractive" version of her
Q. Hi all, hoping you can help me out here. I've been dating a girl who I really love for almost 4 years now. I know she loves me too. Something causes me to be really upset and question my whole relationship. I should give a bit of background, she ...
A. 23 March 2012: Hey, I know Im entering this a bit late, but maybe I can give you my thoughts anyway?
I can only comment on what you have written here, so if there are other factors involved my answer will not help you so much. But if what you have written ... (read in full...)
Dating a guy who's never had a girlfriend
Q. Ok, so let me ask this to the ladies. If you've gone out with a guy a few times and you're really starting to like him quite a bit, and THEN you ask about his previous relationships and he's honest with you and tells you he's never had a girlfriend ...
A. 22 March 2012: Well... to be quite honest, I think I'd drop him. It's just that I have ONLY been in relationships with men who have not had one serious relationship before me (a few weeks don't count as a serious relationship, anything under 6 months don't count ... (read in full...)
Do I unleash that animal inside me that was there before we met and do I be myself
Q. i have been dating a russian girl (27YO) for 8 months.she is studying here and is looking for permanent residency. i consider myself and have been stereotyped in the bad boy category. during the time we have spent together she has tamed me somewhat ...
A. 22 March 2012: This is a very difficult question! On the one hand you love her and obviously care enough for her to have tamed yourself for her. I prefer to say that you tamed yourself, because if you hadn't been willing to she couldn't have had any effect on you ... (read in full...)
How can women watch porn with their partners?
Q. One thing that bugs me is how can women watch porn with their boyfriends/husbands? Aren't you bothered he's getting turned on by another woman, who he possibly thinks is hotter? The thought is horrible....
A. 21 March 2012: "Which guys are these ive never seen any particularly good lookin men in porn."
There's not particularly many good looking guys in porn. But there's not particularly many good looking girls either.
Guys and girls aren't much different you mu... (read in full...)
How can women watch porn with their partners?
Q. One thing that bugs me is how can women watch porn with their boyfriends/husbands? Aren't you bothered he's getting turned on by another woman, who he possibly thinks is hotter? The thought is horrible....
A. 21 March 2012: Why does it bother you what another couple does?
To be honest, no I am not bothered by watching porn with a boyfriend. Most boyfriends I have had are bothered by watching it with me though, one even felt slightly embarrassed about him even wat... (read in full...)
Caught mid kiss, now she wont talk to me!
Q. I went away recently to visit some family, my nans brother and his step daughter / her husband. We are all very good friends and have met several times before this visit. However this time was different, it started the same as always, meet up as I ...
A. 21 March 2012: Are you legally allowed to drink? Are you legally allowed to have sex? What country do you live in?
As long as you are under age he is the pervert and he is the one who has been seducing you. If you were drunk, illegally so, then they are the grow... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not study and it bugs me, what can I do to motivate him?
Q. hey so, my bf and I go to school together and we have 2 classes together. It really bugs me because I'm really serious about school like I'm always studyingand trying to get really good grades, but my bf on the other hand would rather play video ...
A. 21 March 2012: "I find myself being kinda naggy and that's not what I want at all but it's really hard to ignore"
Find a new boyfriend who is up to your level. Life is too short to be in a relationship with a man who is your total opposite and who you in the e... (read in full...)
Need advice on how to "train" my boyfriend in terms of sex.
Q. my boyfriend still has a lot to learn, especially to be more gentle. Simply telling him "Be gentler" only works for a few minutes usually. I know he's the one, we've already talked about marriage, and we want to wait till after we're living tog...
A. 20 March 2012: You can't teach him before hand. This is something you learn as you go along. If you are cuddling and making out you can teach him how you like him to cuddle and make out with you. But you can't teach him anything else until you get to the point ... (read in full...)
Genital warts! Deal breaker or not?
Q. I met this girl a little while ago and she told me she had genital warts!!!!! weve been going out for like 2 months mainly getting to know each other and she told me. We havnt done anything sexual yet. Cause we just got out of relationships and ...
A. 20 March 2012: " You can get it and it can lay dormant for a decade then BOOM show up."
It can lay dormant for up to a year. Not a decade. I don't want to scare the poster too much. ... (read in full...)
B/f loves me but he's close to his best female friend and it makes me very uncomfortable
Q. My fiance is in love with his best friend. They have known eachother since they were very young and have always been close. They used to 'play dirty', like most kids do I guess, when they were about 7. They grew up together and he tried to start a ...
A. 20 March 2012: I really do hope things work out for you in the end, and that you will make the right decision for you and for him as well.
I still think you should at least talk to him about this some more. I know because I had a boyfriend once who I was conv... (read in full...)
At what age do you think should people think of getting married and having children?
Q. What age do you think is people should start having a family? I have a 25 year old daughter, who is very accomplished, smart, beatifull, full of life....and doesn't want even to think of getting married and have children just yet. She is still s...
A. 20 March 2012: "Every time she calls me and says "mom, I have some news, and no, I m not pregnant" we both laugh about it."
Well, she's only telling you that joke to stop you from asking the question. And why would she assume you'd ask that question if you have... (read in full...)
Is this an unforgivable mistake? Should I believe nothing happened between my husband and the other woman?
Q. My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married 7 this year. We started dating when i was 15. My Husband is my best friend and love of my life. Until Nov. of last year our marriage was great really. We had our fights and my husband w...
A. 20 March 2012: You Wish is right, there is more to this story. He didn't just randomly send some girl a Valentines Day gift. He knew her from somewhere, and somewhere along the lines he got a connection of sorts with her and began to view her romantically. The ... (read in full...)
Genital warts! Deal breaker or not?
Q. I met this girl a little while ago and she told me she had genital warts!!!!! weve been going out for like 2 months mainly getting to know each other and she told me. We havnt done anything sexual yet. Cause we just got out of relationships and ...
A. 20 March 2012: Oh dear you, you don't know a thing about genital warts do you?
Listen, they're no biggie. It's just warts, people have them without the world coming to a stop. And in this particular case genital warts are easily treated. And once they are trea... (read in full...)
At what age do you think should people think of getting married and having children?
Q. What age do you think is people should start having a family? I have a 25 year old daughter, who is very accomplished, smart, beatifull, full of life....and doesn't want even to think of getting married and have children just yet. She is still s...
A. 20 March 2012: "I think women these days forget that we have a very limited fertility period." Forget? FORGET? How are we supposed to forget when we got mothers and the rest of our society hanging over our shoulders shaming us for not producing and popping them... (read in full...)
How to get over his porn use?
Q. Does anybody have any tips on how to get over your boyfriend's porn use? I know some women aren't bothered or used to be and aren't now, I want to be one of these women to move on....
A. 19 March 2012: So Very Confused is right, it comes down to whom the man loves up. If he comes home to you, brings you sweets in bed, takes care of you.. then you aren't going to worry about other women. So maybe the problem isn't porn, maybe the problem is that ... (read in full...)
How to get over his porn use?
Q. Does anybody have any tips on how to get over your boyfriend's porn use? I know some women aren't bothered or used to be and aren't now, I want to be one of these women to move on....
A. 19 March 2012: "The strange thing I wouldn't be as bothered if these women were plain, i'm only bothered about the ones I believe are more attractive."
Maybe that's why Im not bothered by porn. I don't find any one of them, man or woman, even the slightes... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 19 March 2012: I guess that all depends on what you put into it. In a romance/erotic novel you can easily picture the people involved. You might experience a physical response to what you read as well. You get turned on by it. You fantasize about it.
How c... (read in full...)
Here's my advise: Don't send money to people you meet on the Internet!
Q. Hi everyone. It's been two years since I have written anything on Dear Cupid, so please bear with me since I have been on a two-year hiatus. Well... I'm still single since I'm not involved with anyone else, aside from the fact that I have ...
A. 19 March 2012: I'm convinced that you shouldn't mix money and relationships. Ever. It leads only to trouble, and you end up being scammed or ripped off. Don't loan out or give money to friends or family either. If people need money they can go to the bank. ... (read in full...)
How to get over his porn use?
Q. Does anybody have any tips on how to get over your boyfriend's porn use? I know some women aren't bothered or used to be and aren't now, I want to be one of these women to move on....
A. 19 March 2012: The women who aren't bothered by porn haven't ever been bothered by it. They haven't "moved on" from it. So I don't think you can be one of those women who aren't bothered by it, because you are. I don't know of anyone who used to be bothered, but ... (read in full...)
I need advice on places to travel in Europe!
Q. This summer I'm planning to take a trip by myself, more so for the experience and greater benefit of independance, I would like to see what it is like when you're out in the world by yourself, experiencing new places. I'm hopping to go for two maybe ...
A. 19 March 2012: I never travelled by interrail, but I hear lots of good stories from people who have. If it is cheaper than by plain, and doesn't take up too much of your travel time, then sure. Two weeks isn't much. I'd calculate at least 3-4 days at each place, ... (read in full...)
My four year old's 73 nyear old Daddy ignores her existance.
Q. I have a four year old child by a 73 year old man!we live in the home with him! He refuses to claim her as his child when his family ask him. I have asked him on several occasions to prepare her for the future in case he dies ber=fore e pass away so ...
A. 19 March 2012: File for child support. You've tried everything else, it's time to stop treating him gently and lay on some real pressure. ... (read in full...)
Dreams of things that haven't happened
Q. I keep having dreams that I had a son or daughter in high school (but most of the time it's a boy) and gave him/her up for adoption. And then I forget I even had him/her. For example, last night in my dream, I was with friends and we were all ...
A. 19 March 2012: Repetitive dreams are trying to tell you something. They keep coming back until you have solved the real life situation that causes the dream.
This particular dream is not easy to interpret. But, children in general are often interpreted as a you... (read in full...)
When do you give up on wanting to be in a relationship?
Q. Hey to you all :) I have a question?? When do you give up wanting to be in a relationship? I'm almost 21 and I have NO luck with guys. Yeah I know I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me and blah blah blah lol! But when I tell you I can't fi...
A. 19 March 2012: Look, this guy who you call your FWB really likes you, and probably cares for you a whole lot. Otherwise he wouldn't be asking you to be his girl or stay in touch and give you christmas gifts etc. If you actually care for him as well then I see no ... (read in full...)
Is a handjob painful for a guy?
Q. last night me and my bf were making out and feeling eachother u. I had my shirt off and he was feeling my breats down my bra I guess I got excited and went down andbegan to rub down there. It was my first time doing this so I was curious. So I kept ...
A. 18 March 2012: If he was in pain I am dead sure he would have let you know. Listen to your partner and check for his response, rather than ask questions online. He's the one who can tell you what he likes and how it feels, not us. But like I said, if he didn't ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to lose my virginity to her, but a few things are getting in the way!
Q. I am 26 and in a relationship. I have never had sex before, but feel that I've finally found the woman that I would like to give myself to. We have a great connection, and this week we started to get hot n' heavy and she asked if I wanted to. I said ...
A. 18 March 2012: You're welcome. ... (read in full...)
I am tired of living with a dog I don't want and a wife I don't trust.
Q. I live in a small 2 bedroom condo with my handicapped wife and our two girls, 8 and 5. We run a business out of our home as well. Needless to say, the place is crowded and life for me is restrictive. For years my wife has asked if she could get...
A. 18 March 2012: If your wife is handicapped and can barely take care of herself, then I think the logical thing is for you to get custody. If she can't take care of herself alone how would she manage to tale care of two young children on top of taking care of ... (read in full...)
When do you give up on wanting to be in a relationship?
Q. Hey to you all :) I have a question?? When do you give up wanting to be in a relationship? I'm almost 21 and I have NO luck with guys. Yeah I know I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me and blah blah blah lol! But when I tell you I can't fi...
A. 17 March 2012: So you've met tons of guys who wants to use you for sex and nothing more. You saying no thanks to that doesn't mean you don't have a sign that says "desperate" on your forehead. You attract these men for a reason. Maybe you don't see the signs early ... (read in full...)
B/f loves me but he's close to his best female friend and it makes me very uncomfortable
Q. My fiance is in love with his best friend. They have known eachother since they were very young and have always been close. They used to 'play dirty', like most kids do I guess, when they were about 7. They grew up together and he tried to start a ...
A. 16 March 2012: "TRUE honesty is the fact that if this object of his attraction were to return his feelings, he'd ditch you for her."
I think you need to ask yourself this question poster. You should also ask your man this question. I don't think he'll leave yo... (read in full...)
B/f loves me but he's close to his best female friend and it makes me very uncomfortable
Q. My fiance is in love with his best friend. They have known eachother since they were very young and have always been close. They used to 'play dirty', like most kids do I guess, when they were about 7. They grew up together and he tried to start a ...
A. 16 March 2012: "Cute maybe, but not like her."
Exactly. You're not like her. And you're not being compared to her either. He is in a relationship with you not because you happened to walk by and he grabbed whatever he got at the moment. He is with you because ... (read in full...)
When do you give up on wanting to be in a relationship?
Q. Hey to you all :) I have a question?? When do you give up wanting to be in a relationship? I'm almost 21 and I have NO luck with guys. Yeah I know I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me and blah blah blah lol! But when I tell you I can't fi...
A. 16 March 2012:
You say you are lonely. Well get a dog then. Boyfriends aren't there to stop you from feeling lonely. A boyfriend isn't a pet. A boyfriend is a real live person, but you talk about "them" and "boyfriend" as it was something you could normally pick... (read in full...)
I am tired of living with a dog I don't want and a wife I don't trust.
Q. I live in a small 2 bedroom condo with my handicapped wife and our two girls, 8 and 5. We run a business out of our home as well. Needless to say, the place is crowded and life for me is restrictive. For years my wife has asked if she could get...
A. 15 March 2012: Well, the dog is there to stay. I think you need to just accept that and stop fighting it. It came, it's here, it's being loved up, and your wife is creating drama if you threaten to get rid of it. So, lets just accept that the dogs stays and focus ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to lose my virginity to her, but a few things are getting in the way!
Q. I am 26 and in a relationship. I have never had sex before, but feel that I've finally found the woman that I would like to give myself to. We have a great connection, and this week we started to get hot n' heavy and she asked if I wanted to. I said ...
A. 15 March 2012: When it's your first time don't worry so much about pleasing her. You aren't expected to rock her world or anything, no one is the first time they have sex with a new partner. Even if you were experienced it takes time to get to know each other and ... (read in full...)
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