| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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When do you give up on wanting to be in a relationship?
Q. Hey to you all :) I have a question?? When do you give up wanting to be in a relationship? I'm almost 21 and I have NO luck with guys. Yeah I know I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me and blah blah blah lol! But when I tell you I can't fi...
A. 19 March 2012: Look, this guy who you call your FWB really likes you, and probably cares for you a whole lot. Otherwise he wouldn't be asking you to be his girl or stay in touch and give you christmas gifts etc. If you actually care for him as well then I see no ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to lose my virginity to her, but a few things are getting in the way!
Q. I am 26 and in a relationship. I have never had sex before, but feel that I've finally found the woman that I would like to give myself to. We have a great connection, and this week we started to get hot n' heavy and she asked if I wanted to. I said ...
A. 18 March 2012: You're welcome. ... (read in full...)
I am tired of living with a dog I don't want and a wife I don't trust.
Q. I live in a small 2 bedroom condo with my handicapped wife and our two girls, 8 and 5. We run a business out of our home as well. Needless to say, the place is crowded and life for me is restrictive. For years my wife has asked if she could get...
A. 18 March 2012: If your wife is handicapped and can barely take care of herself, then I think the logical thing is for you to get custody. If she can't take care of herself alone how would she manage to tale care of two young children on top of taking care of ... (read in full...)
When do you give up on wanting to be in a relationship?
Q. Hey to you all :) I have a question?? When do you give up wanting to be in a relationship? I'm almost 21 and I have NO luck with guys. Yeah I know I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me and blah blah blah lol! But when I tell you I can't fi...
A. 17 March 2012: So you've met tons of guys who wants to use you for sex and nothing more. You saying no thanks to that doesn't mean you don't have a sign that says "desperate" on your forehead. You attract these men for a reason. Maybe you don't see the signs early ... (read in full...)
When do you give up on wanting to be in a relationship?
Q. Hey to you all :) I have a question?? When do you give up wanting to be in a relationship? I'm almost 21 and I have NO luck with guys. Yeah I know I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me and blah blah blah lol! But when I tell you I can't fi...
A. 16 March 2012:
You say you are lonely. Well get a dog then. Boyfriends aren't there to stop you from feeling lonely. A boyfriend isn't a pet. A boyfriend is a real live person, but you talk about "them" and "boyfriend" as it was something you could normally pick... (read in full...)
Have you ignored ever ignored an ex ,when you've bumped into them in person?
Q. Is it childish/rude to ignore an ex if you bump into them? I live in the same town as mine, and have avoided bumping into them so far (mainly due to my planning!) If I bumped into them and they said 'Hello, how are you?'(which I think they wou...
A. 16 March 2012: I don't know about childish or not. If the man hurt you/betrayed you or you don't want to talk to him then I think you're entitled to do whatever you want. You're not working with them, or being friends with them. So no, you don't have to be civil ... (read in full...)
I want to have a relationship--but I find women utterly annoying!!
Q. ok here's my problem. i've never really had a successful relationship with a woman. the reason is...the ones I've dated or known closely have gotten to be the most annoying, superficial. dishonest, and gossipy individuals I've ever met. i am ...
A. 15 March 2012: Who is Henry Higgins, and how is that related?... (read in full...)
I want to have a relationship--but I find women utterly annoying!!
Q. ok here's my problem. i've never really had a successful relationship with a woman. the reason is...the ones I've dated or known closely have gotten to be the most annoying, superficial. dishonest, and gossipy individuals I've ever met. i am ...
A. 15 March 2012: PS. I'll add this so you don't feel so alone and wont be the only person who is attacked.
I agree with you, based on a very non-statistical/scientific reason. I've watched reality shows from the USA. And absolutely all the women in the "bachelo... (read in full...)
I want to have a relationship--but I find women utterly annoying!!
Q. ok here's my problem. i've never really had a successful relationship with a woman. the reason is...the ones I've dated or known closely have gotten to be the most annoying, superficial. dishonest, and gossipy individuals I've ever met. i am ...
A. 15 March 2012: I believe you just need to find yourself a more grounded woman who isn't all up herself.
Search for different qualities than first impressions and clothes or appearance. Those who have a deeper personality and more essence to them tend to not b... (read in full...)
Without being engaged, does that mean that the long-term feelings aren't there?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year, and one of my friends asked me why I wasn't planning on getting married with him anytime soon. I told her I wasn't ready to get married necessarily anytime soon, but she then asked why I wasn't ...
A. 15 March 2012: Everything in due time, that's what I think. I think your friend sounds more interested in herself than in you. She hasn't by any chance recently gotten engaged herself, or married? If so, and she is uncertain about her choices in life, she will ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend making a big deal of me posting on his Facebook wall?
Q. why is it everytime i post to my bf facebook wall. it seems hes brought it up. hes pickin on me" like why are you posting on my wall"then i said nothing i just wanna tell you someting, he said who am i bragging to? cause i post on his wall - ill see ...
A. 15 March 2012: He doesn't like it when you bring your relationship up on facebook. It's like some people don't like public displays of affection, such as kissing on the street. Some people don't like it when things related to their personal relationships are ... (read in full...)
Does anal sex hurt?
Q. I really want to try anal, believe me but I am terrified! Every time he sticks his finger in, I freak out and pull his hand out. I don't know what to do! He isn't pressuring me or anything and I really want to...just a bit scared of the first time ...
A. 15 March 2012: Anal sex doesn't hurt if you do it right. At least for most people. You need to be in control though, not him. He can't be "poking" you as he wish, you're the one who needs to thread yourself on whatever it is you want inserted. Like if it is his ... (read in full...)
Do natural contraception monitors work?
Q. Hi This isnt a relationship question as such... more of a sex and practical question. I do not get on well with hormonal contraceptives. They do horrid things to me, and I stopped taking them. My boyfriend uses condoms, but it would be nice to...
A. 15 March 2012: I haven't tried one of them, but I would if I could afford it. They cost a lot of money, at least here in Norway. I know of the LadyComp or BabyComp. They function the same as you described, measure your temperature and calculate in your period.
... (read in full...)
I am tired of living with a dog I don't want and a wife I don't trust.
Q. I live in a small 2 bedroom condo with my handicapped wife and our two girls, 8 and 5. We run a business out of our home as well. Needless to say, the place is crowded and life for me is restrictive. For years my wife has asked if she could get...
A. 15 March 2012: Well, the dog is there to stay. I think you need to just accept that and stop fighting it. It came, it's here, it's being loved up, and your wife is creating drama if you threaten to get rid of it. So, lets just accept that the dogs stays and focus ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to lose my virginity to her, but a few things are getting in the way!
Q. I am 26 and in a relationship. I have never had sex before, but feel that I've finally found the woman that I would like to give myself to. We have a great connection, and this week we started to get hot n' heavy and she asked if I wanted to. I said ...
A. 15 March 2012: When it's your first time don't worry so much about pleasing her. You aren't expected to rock her world or anything, no one is the first time they have sex with a new partner. Even if you were experienced it takes time to get to know each other and ... (read in full...)
Ladies, is a 4.25" penis big or small?
Q. Ladies, do you consider a 4.25 inch erect penis to be big or small? Do you have experience with this size? If so how did you like it? ...
A. 15 March 2012: It is average sized. Meaning that you and tons of other men, in fact more than half of the population, have a penis around that size.
Do some googling research, and search our archives here on dearcupid, and you will find all the answers ... (read in full...)
Scared of sex...does it hurt?
Q. help!! my boyfriend wanted me to have sex with him but i am scared to!!! does it hurt??...
A. 15 March 2012: It hurts of you don't really want sex yourself. And from your post it doesn't sound like you want sex... So yes, it probably will hurt for you. If your body and mind aren't ready to have sex then it will not be a pleasurable experience for you. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mother I'm not a virgin anymore?
Q. I'm almost 17 and my mom doesn't know that I'm sexually active. I lost my virginity at a young age and I feel like I'm old enough to tell her that I'm not a virgin, however I'm scared because she had me when she was my age. How can I tell her and ...
A. 14 March 2012: Why would you need to tell her? It's sort of private, isn't it? Keep your sex life to yourself. Your mother doesn't need (and probably doesn't want) to know. She'll figure it out once you move in with a man and start having babies yourself. ... (read in full...)
Is it weird for a 16 year old to go out with a 20 year old?
Q. Hey im just wondering peoples opinions on this. Is it weird for a 20 year old to go out with a 16 year old?...
A. 14 March 2012: A little bit, yes. Wait two more years and it wont be a problem.... (read in full...)
How can I show this girl that everything would work if she would bring our dating out into the open?
Q. Until recently I was dating a girl in secret for 5 years. She didnt want anyone to know because there was a 12 year age gap, and she was convinced everyone would make her end it. She is 27 now. After 5 years I wanted it to be out in the open as w...
A. 14 March 2012: If she isn't mature enough to stand for her own choices then there's little you can do about it. This was her choice. I agree with you though, it seems a complete waste to throw away something great, just because she's too much of a chicken to tell ... (read in full...)
He will not marry me until I am submissive. What should I do?
Q. After a long four hours discussion with my man yesterday, I found out the reason he is having fear in proposing to me is because he feels I am somewhat of a dictator in a relationship. He feels like I like to be the man in the relationship. And he ...
A. 13 March 2012: Talking to women isn't "cheating behaviour". Him not being allowed to talk to other women is very controlling behaviour from you. It shows a lack of respect for him on your behalf, because you do not allow him the right to use his own judgement on ... (read in full...)
How can I protect my girl friend from the psychological abuse her foster parents are imposing on her?
Q. Hey – So long story semi-short. My girl and I have been together for 9 months. She’s 16, I’m 18. We’ve been together since she was 15 and a freshman in high school, and I 17 and a senior. She’s adopted, been with that family for 4 years now...
A. 12 March 2012: I'm just going to go through some of your points here.
"I've known her since she was 14; her triplet brothers, now 15, are given so much slack, nothing close to when she was fifteen."
That isn't unusual or particularly mean. It's unfair, sur... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had an alcoholic mother. Should I feel scared to drink in front of him?
Q. Hello dearcupid, My boyfriend has a very troubled past. He grew up very poor with an alcoholic mother. It sounds like she was a cold woman who only cared about drinking when he was growing up. He told me that when he moved out he attended a g...
A. 12 March 2012: I think you might want to lower your intake of alcohol while around him. It can make other people nervous if they see you pour down 3 glasses of whine before dinner, only to finish up the rest of the bottle with dinner. You're going to be drunk, or ... (read in full...)
He will not marry me until I am submissive. What should I do?
Q. After a long four hours discussion with my man yesterday, I found out the reason he is having fear in proposing to me is because he feels I am somewhat of a dictator in a relationship. He feels like I like to be the man in the relationship. And he ...
A. 12 March 2012: ""You had better not let us miss this one again and let us go ahead and lock it in once you get the money""
How could you have said it better? By not saying it at all. You talked to him like a child, and even if he was it was unnecessary. It was j... (read in full...)
How do you date someone suffering from depression?
Q. i just recently learned my bf may be suffering depression. I asked him what's going on with our sex life and he didn't want to talk about it but eventually said he has no sex drive. I asked if it had been a problem in past relationships and he said ...
A. 11 March 2012: Is he getting help/treatment for his depression? Is he on medication, has he seen his doctor about it, is he in therapy? If not, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him because it'll tear you down in the end and exhaust you.
If he is ge... (read in full...)
How can I be more accepting of other people's pasts?
Q. Hey all, Whenever I meet a new girl, we get to be friends and then i find out that she has slept with many people before me. I know that it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I feel like I get turned off? It's like I have this view that those wh...
A. 11 March 2012: When you don't know what you are talking about it is a given that you don't understand it, or know whether to accept it or not and how. You aren't giving into sexual urges are you? So you're holding yourself to a standard that you set for yourself. ... (read in full...)
I want to leave my girlfriend because she is not a virgin, advice?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year now and we both love eachother. When I met her she was in a relationship and we started off as friends and she ended up leaving her ex boyfriend for me, She's never done anything bad, she's faithful, ...
A. 11 March 2012: You mention you never had this problem in previous relationships before. I think you need to think about this. What about this relationship is different? What separates it from the others? Is it the time you have been together? Do you care more ... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 11 March 2012: Your last post is unclear, what do you mean? ... (read in full...)
B/f inexperienced and winds up hurting me while trying to make me feel good
Q. Ive been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now and we both virgins and want to stay like that till we both feel ready for sex. The problem is when we do make out he likes to rub my clit but he rubs with alot of force which leaves me ...
A. 11 March 2012: Just be honest with him! Guys aren't good at taking hints, you need to be straight forward. But just be nice, tell him you don't want to make him feel bad and you appreciate that he wants to please you. But that what he does isn't good, and it makes ... (read in full...)
Keeping secrets about my family is getting in the way of my relationship
Q. Hey, I'm 18 years old. I guess I should start by saying that I have a really troubled relationship with my parents. My dad is an alcoholic, although he is sober now. My mother is just crazy. For most of my life, my mom has been extremely physically ...
A. 11 March 2012: Tell him the truth, as far as you are willing to go. I'm not saying to tell him the details. But tell him like you told us: You're not ready to tell him what goes on with you and your family. That you will tell him when you feel ready, and when the ... (read in full...)
My mates say his girlfriend is an imaginary friend
Q. Basically I used to like this guy and I told him I liked him but he never said he liked me and he never said he didnt like me instead he said how can you like me?so it was like he was in denial then a month later he asked me again and I said yh I ...
A. 11 March 2012: I think you need to leave your friends out of this. Your friends don't know him as you do, and you need to use your own judgement. You seem to ask your friends a lot of the questions you should be asking him. So talk to him about this instead.
... (read in full...)
I am 30 years old and desperate to be loved - if only for one day
Q. Hi, sorry for writing a lot but I hope someone here can help me. I am 30 years old and desperate to be loved - if only for one day. All my friends all the people I know in my age group have had at least one relationship. I know that some o...
A. 11 March 2012: "I have never been asked out. No one has ever showed an interest in me. Not once."
Have you ever asked a man out? 3 out of 4 of the men who have told me they love me, I chased down myself. They didn't ask me out, they didn't show an interest... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 11 March 2012: I don't think anyone here accused you of just wanting women for sex. Objectifying women, and not showing them respect, isn't related to sex. You can objectify women and not respect them without having sex with them. So stop thinking that this is ... (read in full...)
She even flirts better than me!
Q. I have a very serious problem – I’m insanely jealous of a girl I know who is hotter than me, smarter than me… She is successful in everything she does, but absolutely EVERYTHING! She is the national champion at Math, she competes in Physics, she’s ...
A. 10 March 2012: This is what I do when I notice that I have started to compare myself to others. I think that there will always be someone who does everything better. But no matter how hard they try, no one can ever replace me, or be who I am.
I sometime... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 10 March 2012: Regarding your update, I think you're either living at a place with not many women, or you're not widening your horizon. If all women in your area are already settled at 21 then I got to say.. wow. Never heard of that before, not even in traditional ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong because on our 1st official date I turned down giving oral sex?
Q. Dear Cupid, So i've been seeing this guy but not for that long. We've hung out briefly and last night he took me out on an official date. After dinner we left and went to a park to check out the view and went back to the car. He kept asking if I...
A. 10 March 2012: You're not wrong. You've just been unfortunate enough to date a lot of sex-focused perverts. These guys weren't interested in a relationship, they just wanted sex... Otherwise they wouldn't have constantly asked for it. Oh, and asking you to come ... (read in full...)
Do all men cheat if given the chance?
Q. Hmm, I'm getting a little cynical-do all men cheat (emotionally/physically) if they get the chance and don't think they'll get caught?? This is the impression I'm getting from DearCupid, from celebrities, from my friends, and I don't like it. I ...
A. 10 March 2012: No, it's not true. You can't base things on what you read on dearcupid. Dearcupid is a place for relationship troubles, not happy stories. Keep that in mind.
But no, not all men cheat if given the chance. There are faithful men and there are chea... (read in full...)
Art for art's sake!
Q. Is it odd that my husband of 11 yrs...all of a sudden wants to get a "portrait of a naked woman" to go in our home..?? I think its insulting and like a "single "man thing. ...
A. 10 March 2012: I think this depends on what kind of portrait we're talking about. Maybe he's hinting that he wants a portrait of you? ... (read in full...)
I'm too shy to give my b/f oral sex
Q. im so self conscious about giving my guy head because i worry he doesnt enjoy it, i'm quite a shy person and am too embarrassed to ask him about it! what can i do?...
A. 10 March 2012: Listen to his breath, the sounds he make, and watch his body language. It will tell you whether he likes it, or is having a mind blowing experience. And don't worry, there is nothing to not like. Whatever you do he will like, but some things he will ... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 10 March 2012: Oh please, get over it. You're not destined to be alone, and you don't know if you're going to be alone for the rest of your life, so quit the drama. Stick it out, meet women, and you'll find someone "worthy" of you sooner or later. Just stop being ... (read in full...)
Does extra strength color remover turn your hair orange?
Q. Hiya everyone this is not a relationship question I recently dyed my blonde hair dark brown with a tint of red to it now I would like to go back blonde as I don't think I suit my hair dark even though it is my natural colour I was just wondering if ...
A. 10 March 2012: I think my worry would be green or orange hair, yes. I suggest you ask a hair dresser this question, and don't do any home treatment. Because you might end up with orange or green hair... which is a lot worse than dark brown.
I think you should w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has become a possessive maniac!
Q. Dear Cupid,I'm starting to think my boyfriend of 3 years is very possessive.He has just started the same college as me this semester and I thought it would be fun but instead its been hell! First thing, he started getting upset that my female ...
A. 10 March 2012: Your boyfriend IS possessive, controlling and out of line. He has no right to tell you who you can hang out with. If he doesn't like Robert then HE can leave, and Robert stays. It's HIS problem, not yours. He needs to deal with his jealousy issues ... (read in full...)
What is he really saying when a guy says he's not ready to be in a relationship?
Q. There's this guy and I know for sure he likes me but he says he's not ready to be in a serious relationship because he broke up with his girlfriend 2 months ago. He said that I'm really beautiful and he's given a lot of thought about us. What d...
A. 9 March 2012: Well, there's the "codes" and such. Like "Im not ready" = "I don't like you enough to commit". Or "Let's be friends" = "lets break up". But, there are instances when the words that come out of the mouth is to be taken literally, and not interpreted. ... (read in full...)
I want a threesome with my wife & another man, how do I make it happen?
Q. I have been happily married for 12 years with 3 kids. I want to do a 3sum with my wife and another man. I don't want to do anything with the man, the idea just seems very exciting. I know she would never even consider doing a 3sum with anothe...
A. 8 March 2012: You're not out of line. Its your life and your sexuality. You're entitled to want whatever you do, and if your wife is OK with it then who's to judge.
How to make it happen? You talk real serious with your wife about it and then figure out a pl... (read in full...)
Those who were successful in LDR, how did you convince your partner to move closer to you?
Q. I am in a LDR of 11/2 years. I developed a habit of snooping very early in the relationship which I think is really bad. I have already fallen in love with the guy so it was hard to get rid of him. He does this thing that I have never seen with any ...
A. 8 March 2012: Those who were successful in LDR, how did you convince your partner to move closer to you?
When I was in a LDR there was never any "convincing" needed. We were in love and wanted to be together, it was a natural thing to want to get closer. ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
