| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Wife Always Walks Ahead of Me...Far Ahead
Q. This is a puzzling thing for me. About 10 years into my marriage I noticed that my wife would immediately walk ahead of me when going places. She doesn't slow down, just keeps walking. She is not more attractive for a woman than I am for a man, ...
A. 31 January 2012: Try one of the approaches suggested here and see what happens. We'd love to hear how things go on if you want to give updates in this thread. ... (read in full...)
Guys I talk to think I'm flirting, but I don't even know how to flirt!
Q. One of my friends keep telling me not to talk to boys the way I do, and he says that I "don't know what I do to other guys." I've tried asking him what he meant, but he shrugged it off. I'm almost certain that he's talking about flirting, but I ...
A. 30 January 2012: If it is just a case of you being nice and not actually being flirty then yeah, it is the guys problem and you shouldn't stop being who you are. I guess it is similar with me, that when I am nice to guys they think I am flirting. Guys tend to think ... (read in full...)
Asked her out on a 2nd date by text and there was no reply! Feeling a bit awkward, so how do I deal with this?
Q. I went on a date with a girl from work. I liked her and I text her the day after asking for a second date. I have recieved no reply over a week later. I can take this and i know it happens. the problem is that im likely to see her at work. we...
A. 30 January 2012: Learn from this that you shouldn't ever ask over a text again. First off, texts are not very romantic, so asking by text might ruin your chances of getting a second date. Second, you don't know if she even read the text. Some times they don't get ... (read in full...)
Is it tacky to ask about STDs?
Q. I myself am currently a virgin and my girlfriend is not. She told me she has had some unprotected sex. She really really wants to have sex with me, we just started dating, however, we have known each other for quite some time and actually dated 4 ...
A. 30 January 2012: *birth control pills... (read in full...)
Is it tacky to ask about STDs?
Q. I myself am currently a virgin and my girlfriend is not. She told me she has had some unprotected sex. She really really wants to have sex with me, we just started dating, however, we have known each other for quite some time and actually dated 4 ...
A. 30 January 2012: It's a good thing to ask if a new partner has been tested yes. It shows that you care about your health, and theirs as well. However you need to show class when it comes to it. Don't ask "do you have an STD?", because that's just tacky. Its hurtf... (read in full...)
He just can't shut up about his ex!
Q. my boyfriend and i has been together for 10 months now but i dont think he's over his ex. we got together after 2 weeks of them breaking up, they were going out for almost 1 year and a half. after they broke up, she had a new boyfriend just 2 weeks ...
A. 30 January 2012: He's 19 and immature. Tell him it bothers you when he talks about his ex. Either he shuts up about her, or he can go hook up with her again seeing as he dedicates a lot of his (and your) time to her anyway.
He probably isn't over her. This doe... (read in full...)
Wife Always Walks Ahead of Me...Far Ahead
Q. This is a puzzling thing for me. About 10 years into my marriage I noticed that my wife would immediately walk ahead of me when going places. She doesn't slow down, just keeps walking. She is not more attractive for a woman than I am for a man, ...
A. 30 January 2012: PS. I didn't tell my friend that I was angry with her for walking ahead of me. Instead I slowed down even more and stopped bothering with rushing after her. Whenever I wanted to stop and look at something I would just stop, its her own fault if she ... (read in full...)
Wife Always Walks Ahead of Me...Far Ahead
Q. This is a puzzling thing for me. About 10 years into my marriage I noticed that my wife would immediately walk ahead of me when going places. She doesn't slow down, just keeps walking. She is not more attractive for a woman than I am for a man, ...
A. 29 January 2012: It's not to do with looks. It's to do with respect, in my opinion, or a lack of understanding for this behaviour being hurtful. I don't get why you focus on who looks better or who is in better shape though. She doesn't do this because she thin... (read in full...)
Guys I talk to think I'm flirting, but I don't even know how to flirt!
Q. One of my friends keep telling me not to talk to boys the way I do, and he says that I "don't know what I do to other guys." I've tried asking him what he meant, but he shrugged it off. I'm almost certain that he's talking about flirting, but I ...
A. 29 January 2012: Well step one is looking at what you actually DO, not the things you don't do. You know now from more than one person that what you do IS flirting. Now you need to figure out exactly what about the things you do would be more flirtatious, and stop ... (read in full...)
Black specks in underware mean?
Q. Black specks in my husband briefs after washing; what does that mean if anything?...
A. 29 January 2012: That you need a better detergent I suppose? ... (read in full...)
I just get turned off by his double checking the condom
Q. Hi everyone, I didnt know who else to bring this up with so thought i'd see what other people on here think... Basically my partner and I are in a very loving relationship. We both want children and plan to start trying in ...
A. 29 January 2012: Talk to him! Tell him it is putting you off. Its great that he is being careful, but theres a limit, and it is a turn off to see him being picky. He needs to take a chill pill or else your sex life will go down the drain. Maybe you could use birth ... (read in full...)
My wife says I play games too much!
Q. Okay my wife says i play my game too much that we don't have time for each other anymore. Okay i work all night pretty much i work 4 Nights a week and then on Sunday i go to work and open. We have a 15mth old daughter together so those two days that ...
A. 29 January 2012: You work 4 nights. Then 3 days off the week you are off. You just open on Sunday and then rest of Sunday is off.
You play games on your day off, and you say you "try" to give your wife a break from your daughter as well. How? Can you play gam... (read in full...)
I want a baby but I don't want a relationship just to make babies.
Q. Well, I am 19 years old and want a child so bad I can hardly wait. Yet I have been waiting for 2yrs now and am tired of waiting. I am mature, live on my own, have a job and everything else I need. I even have taken parenting classes and already have ...
A. 29 January 2012: I think you'll just have to wait until you can afford adoption or sperm donation. But, I don't know if they allow single parents, which is the down-side to it. This varies from country to country. If adopting or having a sperm donor is allowed when ... (read in full...)
His friend gave him an ultimatum, me or the friend!
Q. hey, i was talking about a younger boy, in my previous question. well now his friend which is my ex, has told him that he needs to choose between me or him. does anyone know what i should do or say?...
A. 29 January 2012: Say nothing. This is between your new guy and your ex. But I think you' do wise in not hitting on /flirting with friends of your exes in the future. ... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 27 January 2012: I think it is imporant to support your friends even if they make decisionsyou wouldn't do for yourself. You know yourself best, and if you are happy then I am happy for you and wiling to support that. I don't know much about your man, other than ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got a lapdance at a strip club and now I am struggling to deal with this, am I just being silly?
Q. My boyfriend went to see strippers and has got a private lapdance on a number of occasions. Im finding it hard to deal with, I feel inadequate and dont feel comfortable having sex at the moment. I just feel he'l compare the way I look to the ...
A. 26 January 2012: You're being silly to think you are being compared to the strippers. But you aren't being silly by finding it uncomfrotable that some stranger is going to grope your boyfriend, with him paying for it. Some people would classify this as cheating. ... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 26 January 2012: Maybe you should get yourself a ring. Or maybe you can take him to have his bracelet or ring engraved with the proposal date? It's a cool date after all.... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 26 January 2012: Why do you want a token? When you get married you will have wedding pictures as a token. A proposal doesn't need to come with a token, all a proposal needs is that you keep your word and are sincere and honest when you ask.
:)
I don't think... (read in full...)
Sometimes cooking meals is just too much work! Is anyone else like this?
Q. Hi over the past year I have had days where I haven't eaten purely because I can't be bothered. I'm not anorexic or anything like that, I'm extremely happy with my body, but sometimes just the thought of cooking food just makes me feel like its the ...
A. 26 January 2012: It could be related to depression, if you already have a depression I would say it is because of it. But not being interested in cookin, that in itself is no sign of depression. ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with sexting someone else while in a committed relationship?
Q. why is sexting (sending racy/sexually suggestive texts and FB messages) wrong? I can't see a problem with it and have been sexting an ex-colleague who i have no intention of seeing in reality. My gf of 6 months (who i love and am serious about) ...
A. 25 January 2012: Come on. You're not that naive are you? Why is sexting wrong when it's jus harmless fun? Because it IS NOT just harmless fun. Look at your girlfriend, did she find it funny? No she didn't. It wasn't harmless either, because she got pretty upset.
... (read in full...)
Sometimes cooking meals is just too much work! Is anyone else like this?
Q. Hi over the past year I have had days where I haven't eaten purely because I can't be bothered. I'm not anorexic or anything like that, I'm extremely happy with my body, but sometimes just the thought of cooking food just makes me feel like its the ...
A. 24 January 2012: Ever heard of instant noodles? Or soup in a can? Or fruit salads? Making lunch doesn't always have to be about cooking you know.
I understand your issue as I'm not a big bread fan either. But I eat cereal with youghurt instead, or cook a bowl of ... (read in full...)
How can I relax during oral?
Q. My boyfriend loves to give me oral but I have a really hard time relaxing so that I can climax. How do I relax my body so I can reach a orgasm?...
A. 23 January 2012: Breathing. Control your breath, breathe faster. Or that's what my ex told me and he's the only one who's ever managed to make me orgasm through oral alone. He put a pillow under my bum, and told me to breathe faster. It worked, so what can I say?
... (read in full...)
What is this married woman REALLY saying?
Q. What does it mean when a married woman says that she answers more to me than her husband that doesn't talk much?...
A. 23 January 2012: I don't think it means much beyond the actual meaning of it. That she talks more to you than her husband. Because he is the silent type I suppose. Why do you care? If this bothers you then maybe you should tone it down a notch and not talk so much ... (read in full...)
Do I give up on me orgasming so he can? My Boyfriend says I Squeeze too Much, too Early during Sex :(
Q. OK, so here's my problem. My boyfriend says I squeeze my vagina too much too early during sex. All I'm doing is involuntarily starting to have a orgasm, which happens multiple times during sex IF i'm enjoying it. But he won't let me! He tol...
A. 22 January 2012: *Clearly
PS. If you and him are a recently new couple all you need is some time to learn how to work with each others bodies. He might be slipping out because he pulls out too much, or because you are in the wrong position. Each couple will hav... (read in full...)
Do I give up on me orgasming so he can? My Boyfriend says I Squeeze too Much, too Early during Sex :(
Q. OK, so here's my problem. My boyfriend says I squeeze my vagina too much too early during sex. All I'm doing is involuntarily starting to have a orgasm, which happens multiple times during sex IF i'm enjoying it. But he won't let me! He tol...
A. 22 January 2012: Qlearly he is oblivious to this being an involuntary action. Tell him. Inform him about what it means when your body reacts in that way. Tell him if he wants you to stop then he'll have to stop being so darn good in bed.. That ought to change his ... (read in full...)
What are girl's erect penis shape fantasies?
Q. I Always wonder what erect penis shape makes girls more horny when they look at it (upward , downward or straight) ? and why? what shape of erect penis(upward , downward or straight) do you girls imagine in your fantaces? PLEASE answ...
A. 22 January 2012: We don't care. It can be erect in any direction as long as it's average sized.
Our "fantasies", at least mine, deal far more with feeling his erection pressing against me, feeling his skin as he touches me, his breath on my neck. If I absolute... (read in full...)
Is there any hope when your new bf loves his ex and is still "grieving" her?
Q. For the last month and a half I've spent almost every night with my new boyfriend. He seemed to like this level of closeness and it's easy for us to kick it. We both have terribly difficult pasts, but are successful people and have a lot of fun t...
A. 22 January 2012:
You overdid it with the expensive tickets. Such things are for more important occasions. I know you are in love and want to celebrate every day you have been with him, but has he/the relationship deserved to be celebrated? Think about it. You ... (read in full...)
Should I go to Paris alone?
Q. My parents have offered me an amazing deal, but i'm not sure if I should do it.. They asked if I wanted to go to paris for the weekend by myself, as an independent experience and to see Paris as i've always talked about. Sure it'd be incredible an...
A. 22 January 2012: *sew
PS. I've seen "Taken". It's a movie. People should start living in the real world rather than think everything they see on TV is true. Lock the door after you and don't be an idiot and you'll be fine. Don't leave your drink unsuperv... (read in full...)
Should I go to Paris alone?
Q. My parents have offered me an amazing deal, but i'm not sure if I should do it.. They asked if I wanted to go to paris for the weekend by myself, as an independent experience and to see Paris as i've always talked about. Sure it'd be incredible an...
A. 22 January 2012: Go alone. Just use common sense. You're not a child, people at 19 are in most countries considered adult.
I went to live in Moscow for a year when I was 17. I lived with a host family I had never met before, didn't really speak the language... (read in full...)
Feeling the pressure to "settle down" what should I do?
Q. Hi dearcupid. I am 26 year old single woman, have never been in a long term relationship. I am the only single person within my group of friends, in fact these days I seem to be the only single person wherever I go, work, university. This...
A. 22 January 2012: Im 26 and single, if that makes you feel less alone. You're not alone. You probably already knew that, you just feel alone anyway because you don't want to be alone. You want to have someone by your side. And believe it or not, but I think that it ... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance after he lied about wearing a condom?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. He's nice to me, although he has a bit of a problem telling the truth. He does not like wearing protection as he says he doesn't feel anything and the rubber irritates him. I finally agreed t...
A. 17 January 2012: "He has a bit of a problem telling the truth", what a cute way to sugar-coat a liar.
If he finished inside of you you would have known because it'd be dripping out of you as you sat up/as he pulled out. On the condition that he had a lot of cum. ... (read in full...)
I snooped and found he has changed his passwords
Q. My boyfriend has changed his passwords on Facebook and gmail without telling me. Am I right to feel insecure about this?... Why has he done this if he has nothing to hide? Or do people not share passwords with their other halves? We have been tog...
A. 17 January 2012: You should have told us he cheated on you in your question. That does change things. However you say he never confessed to the cheating, which complicates this a lot. Had he confessed to the cheating he would have been willing to let you get access ... (read in full...)
Am I trying too hard to keep tabs on him?
Q. A guy I've been seeing for about 5 months told me he doesn't want me worrying about him so much. And that he's not used to having someone to check in with and doesn't really want to do that even though I've told him that it bothers me when he ...
A. 16 January 2012: The problem is he doesn't think he is in a relationship. While you think you are in one. He acts as if he is single. You act as a girlfriend. Until that has been sorted out he doesn't feel you can make any demands, and you feel left hanging.
... (read in full...)
My best friend refuses to dump her horrible boyfriend! How can I make her understand that she deserves better?
Q. My best friend has a horrible boyfriend who tells her things like he thinks of other girls when they're having sex etc. She has the lowest self esteem (and self worth) of anyone I know. I keep telling her to dump him because he treats her awfully ...
A. 16 January 2012: If you want her to leave him then you need to change tactics, because your current actions are just making her STAY with him. When people are in rotten relationships they are fully aware of it. They don't need someone who stands there belittling ... (read in full...)
I snooped and found he has changed his passwords
Q. My boyfriend has changed his passwords on Facebook and gmail without telling me. Am I right to feel insecure about this?... Why has he done this if he has nothing to hide? Or do people not share passwords with their other halves? We have been tog...
A. 16 January 2012: People do not share passwords with anyone else. Sharing your password is a stupid and immature act, to be honest. It's something insecure teenagers do. Grown adults in responsible relationships don't share passwords or snoop around on each others ... (read in full...)
I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now
Q. We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...
A. 16 January 2012: Why do you feel lied to? It happened before you and her became an item, and unless you directly asked her and she told you she'd never had one before then how can you call this lying?
I think you need to calm down and remember that you married ... (read in full...)
What the hell am I?
Q. Am I bisexual, or a lesbian? I`m more attracted to women than men. 9/10 times I fantasize about women instead of men. I search PlayGirl online. When I do think of men, its more on an emotional level. I cant see myself falling for a woman. I am comp...
A. 16 January 2012: Labels don't matter. It's who you fall in love with and end up in a relationship with/have sex with that matters, and whatever you end up doing, as long as it works it is all good. I mean what difference does it make? Maybe you are pan-sexual for ... (read in full...)
The other day we where making love and he stopped to answer his phone! Is this normal?
Q. Hi,I would like you aunts opinion on this please. I am in a relationship with a man and have been for many years, we both are in our late 50's so really i was shocked and very surprised by this action of his. The other day we where making love and ...
A. 16 January 2012: I think you overreacted, if this was one of the few, or even first, times he did such a thing. If he's been warned several times before, and you've had a talk about this before, then he obviously couldn't care less. But if this was the first time it ... (read in full...)
Why don't men read maps?
Q. Why is it that when your in a car and your man is Driving and you both are in an unfamilliar town, he wont Admit that he is Lost. My Question is why wont men ask for Directions? ...
A. 15 January 2012: Lots of men think that other men don't ask for directions and they don't want to be anything less than other men. This basically comes down to upbringing and what you are taught, gender-specifically. Same deal with women who don't feel like they are ... (read in full...)
How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"?
Q. How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"? If a woman showed an interest in me, how can I say in a nice way (if I'm not interested) that she is not my type? If a woman told me I was not "her type", I ...
A. 14 January 2012: Hahaha, I do reject guys if I think they are too young. There was a guy about 6 months ago who wanted me out on a date with him, but he was just 21 (I set my limit at 25 minimum these days), so I told him at first "No thanks", and he asked why and I ... (read in full...)
How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"?
Q. How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"? If a woman showed an interest in me, how can I say in a nice way (if I'm not interested) that she is not my type? If a woman told me I was not "her type", I ...
A. 13 January 2012: I think it depends on how they approach you really. You go with the flow from there on. Some people who are just.. hopeless, I simply avoid. I don't take their calls or talk to them at all. Usually, the smart ones take the hint. I do grant people ... (read in full...)
Should a married couple share almost everything?
Q. I'm asking about how much openness there should be in a marriage. Not just a relationship, but a marriage. I think that once you make that step to commit to be together for the rest of your lives, things change. My wife and I are very open with e...
A. 13 January 2012: Look, when in situations like these I always ask myself first of all who my loyalty lies with. In your shoes your loyalty lies first and foremost to your wife, your friend second. Your wifes friend on a third place. This means your wifes friend's ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cries when we have sex! What is wrong and how do I help her?
Q. seriously i dont get what is wrong with my girlfriend when we first had sex i realised she was crying slowly as we were at it...since then anytime i sleep with her in the same bed she gets nightmares and also cries like she does when we are having ...
A. 13 January 2012: Maybe she's been raped. How do you engage in sexual activity with her if she cries? Do you stop when she cries? Does she cry when you kiss her and touch her, aside from sex?
Stop having sex with her and start talking to her. Figure out what's g... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 9 November 2011: Just poop the question already (yes I know I have the humour of a 5 year old)... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 9 November 2011: Fine, I wouldn't have wanted that toilet paper holder anyway, unless it had my wedding date engraved on it. Then it'd just be a matter of getting married on that exact date.
A little linguistic corny fun, if you end up saying "I do".. The word "do... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 9 November 2011: Cindy I didn't know you had cheese in you, haha... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 8 November 2011: February 2012, leap year. Traditionally women can propose on the 29th of February.. so do it then. I don't have any great ideas for how or where, I'd keep it simple and sincere, and just drop the question when you really feel the love and passion ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
