A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend (26yrs old) and I have been living together for a year and are planning to move interstate within the next couple of months.I have not told my parents yet. The problem is my boyfriend works with my father. I cannot tell my father we are planning to move, because I cannot trust him not to tell other people - My boyfriend has not handed in his notice yet (still looking for another job).My parents keep asking me what I am going to do this year and it is a bit up in the air because I am not sure when we are moving, so I have no solid plans and cannot start anything currently. It is getting a bit awkward with their constant questions and I am not sure what to tell them.I rarely speak to them or see them really (maybe once a month) but.. does anyone have some ideas of what to say next time? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 February 2012):
 I have to echo what's already been said.. You need to get active and get involved with your own life. Your parents ask you what you are doing and you can't answer because you don't know what you are doing! And why do you NOT know? Fair enough that you don't want to tell them, but you don't have any plans either. Your boyfriend is looking for work. He doesn't know when he'll get it. So basically you are giving up whatever job/future plans YOU should have for yourself, to follow your boyfriend on a whim? Where are you moving? When? If you do not know when then what are your plans in the meantime? How do you make a living? Do you have a job? Do you study? Exactly what is your plan? Figure it out, and then you'll know what to tell your parents. Don't go all dependent on your boyfriend. What if he dumps you and you gave up everything for him? It'd suck. Get your own life together by focusing on your own career/studies, rather than sit with your hands in your lap and follow your boyfriend blindly. I hope you aren't following him blindly. But based on your post it sounds like you are. Figure out what YOU are going to be doing. Not your boyfriend. You. Then tell your parents that. For example, if you will study in the new place you move to then tell your parents you are looking into schools. If you plan to work there then tell them you are looking into work etc.
A
female
reader, Deagan  +, writes (13 February 2012):
 I'm always weary of these situations where a girl is preparing herself to move away from family for the sake of a boyfriend. It's one thing to move away for your husband, but to tag along with your boyfriend?
I don't think a woman should make definite plans to move to be with their boyfriend unless their boyfriend makes definite plans to completely commit after making this huge leap.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 February 2012):
 Well this is an interesting plan... you don't know where you are going or why.. you have not found jobs you just want to move....
I think you need to firm up some plans FAST or else find something to do where you are right now...
IF I had a child your age not working or going to school, I'd not be a happy parent.... boyfriend notwithstanding...
and it's worse that your BF works for your dad because he can't really give notice till he finds a job.
why the desire to move from where he has employment?
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A
male
reader, GhostChild +, writes (13 February 2012):
 I would say get everything set in stone first. There's no use in telling your parents that you're moving interstate when neither of you really have any kind of job to go into over there. Wait until either you or your boyfriend can get a new job before telling them, otherwise they will probably flat out be against the move.
But if you really do have to tell them, maybe just tell them that you're both thinking of moving interstate and ask your dad not to tell everyone?
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