| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Do you know any links to good artices in DearCupid please re fellatio?
Q. I just started dating after getting out of a 15 year marriage. My ex never liked blow jobs and really zapped my confidence with his criticism so I need a step by step guide of giving a good bj. Thanks!...
A. 11 February 2012: Don't worry about not doing it right... just listen to the mans breath and look at his facial expressions and you will soon learn what he enjoys and not. Just experiment with different touches and well, try out different things with your tongue. ... (read in full...)
B/f left me on a dark street by myself and he knows how terrified I am of this kind of situation!
Q. Just a quick question! What would you do if your boyriend left you in the dark on the street by your self? Ill give you a bit more detail, i', having doubts if my boyfriend acctually does love me, he says he does so much and i acctually started to ...
A. 11 February 2012: Okay so he ran away from you on purpose to joke with you in a dangerous area. That's not cool at all, and I take back any excuses I made on his behalf. That's shitty behaviour and not something you should expect in a grown up. Which means your ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have chemistry but not romance?
Q. Is it possible to feel or have a chemistry with the person of the opposite sex that is not about romance but friendship? I feel a special sort of instant bond and connection with this guy but he's not the person I'd want to date. He's also several ...
A. 10 February 2012: Obviously yes. You've got a good chemistry with this guy, but you are not romantically interested in him. You aren't forced to date everyone you have good chemistry with you know, that's entirely up to you to decide.
I've got good chemistr... (read in full...)
My G/f doesn't want a child, yet is against any form of birth control apart from me using a condom. She says if the condom rips then we can just put the baby up for adoption!!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years she is 20 i am 23 we have been having sex for around 2 months, she was a virgin and wanted to wait, but a conversation we had the other day has confused me slightly. She says to me that ...
A. 10 February 2012: What the heck is it her if you use spermicide or not? You're entitled to use any contraceptive you want to use, same as she is entitled to not want to use anything she doesn't want to use. You aren't making her eat spermicide, it is something you ... (read in full...)
Condom queries here!
Q. How far up is it normal for a condom to slip? Everytime after he pulls out its pretty near the top and I was wondering if it would put me at risk of getting pregnant. Also, he stays inside me for a little while after we're done, and I wanted to know ...
A. 10 February 2012: You or him need to HOLD on the condom when he pulls out. It is described in the instructions. You need to hold on the condom, or else you risk that it falls off. Im thinking your boyfriend and you aren't holding on it when it pulls out, because if ... (read in full...)
The sex law does not stop any teenager from having sex, why is it always slammed in our faces that we're underage?
Q. Hi, i am not looking to have sex. But i have questions on the sex law. It doesn't stop anyone! I know a pregnant 8th grader! On secret life of the american teenager, amy got pregnant at 15! But why when girls my age (15) ask to go on the pill, its ...
A. 10 February 2012: Because you live in a country that ideally doesn't want anyone to have sex outside of marriage. Rather than face the facts they think that by giving you contraceptives they encourage premarital sex. And the highly conservatives (especially the ... (read in full...)
What could have possibly gone wrong? Is it me or the circumstances?
Q. Hello i'm going toi keep this question short as this is probobly the best policy, Ihave been in a sexual monogamous long distance relationship for just over 2 years, however my gf has broken up with me because 'she feels that the relationship was...
A. 10 February 2012: In this case it's not you, it's her. I actually think this is a case of a person not willing or interested to be in a relationship, because that can happen! It's not just a phrase like so many people use. Of course there will be those who excuse ... (read in full...)
My G/f doesn't want a child, yet is against any form of birth control apart from me using a condom. She says if the condom rips then we can just put the baby up for adoption!!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years she is 20 i am 23 we have been having sex for around 2 months, she was a virgin and wanted to wait, but a conversation we had the other day has confused me slightly. She says to me that ...
A. 10 February 2012: Plan B is actually the name of one of many emergency contraceptives. Could she mean one of those?
There is another male contraceptive to be used together with condoms for extra protection, spermicide. The fact that you weren't aware of it makes... (read in full...)
Should my mother allow me to spend the night with my boyfriend?
Q. Okay so I wanted to know that if your 16 years old and your boyfriend is 17, and you guys have been together for a year and seven months but have known each other for three years. Should you be able to stay the night with him. My boyfriend lives an ...
A. 10 February 2012: If you are over the age of consent then by the law you're allowed to. But then again, as long as you live at home then its your parents house and your parents rules.
If I had a 16 year old daughter who had move out of home I'd not butt my nose ... (read in full...)
Bad boys seem to be more popular with the girls than someone like me, will my time ever come? Is this situation uncommon?
Q. I'm 19 and I've never had a girlfriend put simply. This isn't to say I'm still a virgin; sex and relationships are two quite different things as far as I'm concerned. I suppose you could consider me a late bloomer, I didn't really develop a vested ...
A. 10 February 2012: I've found that people are overall extremely attracted to openness. If you are open, and share things about you to those who are not your innermost closest circle of friends, well then they will feel welcomed, of importance and valued. If you have a ... (read in full...)
Bad boys seem to be more popular with the girls than someone like me, will my time ever come? Is this situation uncommon?
Q. I'm 19 and I've never had a girlfriend put simply. This isn't to say I'm still a virgin; sex and relationships are two quite different things as far as I'm concerned. I suppose you could consider me a late bloomer, I didn't really develop a vested ...
A. 10 February 2012: It takes time for everyone, even the "bad boys" to find someone they are compatible with. That said I don't think you'd ruin your chances if you dropped the "upper class" attitude. You don't want to come of as a snob. It's good and all to be true to ... (read in full...)
Make-up ideas...
Q. ok so i really like wearing makeup but my mom dosnt really like me wearing lots so i just put on eyeshadow and sometimes some eyeliner with it can u guys tell me whats the most important things when wearing makeup like to make your eyes pop but not ...
A. 10 February 2012: Skip the eyeliner. Use only mascara, and only on the upper eye lashes. That makes your eyes look bigger. Never use eyeliner under the eyes because that also makes them smaller (unless you've got huge eyes and want to make them look smaller).
... (read in full...)
Horses are the only good thing. how can I make it clear to my parents that they expect too much of me?
Q. Ok so I seriously hate my life right now....everything just sucks about it. I go to a horrible public high school where theres drugs and a million 15 year old pregnant girls. Our house that I've been living in for about 10 years is going to get take...
A. 10 February 2012: Life's a bitch.
"She had 3 horses, a hot boyfriend, she was popular not only at the barn but also at school, she was pretty, lived in a huge house, went to every single horse show and her parents are just so stinkin rich and its not fair I am so ... (read in full...)
I'm married and she has a boyfriend but I cannot ignore my attraction to her, how do I ask her out?
Q. There is a new lady in office. She is 38 and I am 26. She is really very cute and hot at the same time...rare combination but yes she is. I have been wondering how to ask her out and what subjects could I talk to her on to attract her towards me. ...
A. 10 February 2012: His wife will be made to look like a fool. It is embarrassing to her to have a cheating husband. And that's just by western cultural standards. In the arabic countries I believe the wife's reputation is in direct proportion to her husbands ... (read in full...)
My husband says I ask too many questions! How do I deal with it?
Q. i have been married for a year and my hubby says i ask too many unecessary questions?. he gets irritated. the problem is i dont seem to know what is ok and not ok to ask? eg, we went grocery shoping and he asked me to pick items. i asked him how ...
A. 9 February 2012: Maybe he thinks you interrupt him with questions? When he tells you a story maybe he wants to finish his story before you ask questions. And maybe if you listen to his story you will understand as the story goes, without asking the question?
... (read in full...)
Could I be the father of my wife's baby?
Q. me and my wife didnt see each other since december 2011 and last january 2012 i went to her place and we got sex and now feb 2012 she was saying that she's 7 weeks pregnant.. can you please tell me if i am the father of that child on her womb?...
A. 9 February 2012: You need to think back on when you had sex with her and then count the weeks. Remember that it can take up to 5 days after intercourse to get pregnant, so that can add almost another week to the counting. ... (read in full...)
Met a guy whilst wearing coloured contact lenses, will he think I'm fake if he finds out? What do guys think of girls who wear coloured lenses?
Q. Honest answers from guys, I don't care if they are hurtful I need to know a truthful answer. What do you think of girls who wear coloured lenses? Do you not care so much, think they're fake, find them attractive.. what? Because I met this guy whi...
A. 9 February 2012: Didn't you already go on a date with him as this was over a week ago? Have you had much contact with him since you first met him, and has he brought up your eyes again? It's all fine, as long as you haven't been pretending it's your real eye ... (read in full...)
Should I tell the guy I've been seeing I met someone else and gave my number to him?
Q. I've been seeing this guy not too long ago...He is Asian/chinese and I am a Latin/south american. He is younger for 8 yrs. Our schedules are very different..I work nights and he days, we see each other everytime we can make it..can be like 2 o 3 ti...
A. 9 February 2012: Oh, and you should NOT tell your Chinese guy that you met someone else and gave them your number. It'll just hurt him, and there is no need to tell him. If he tells you that he does not want a relationship with you then you are free to date anyone ... (read in full...)
I'm married and she has a boyfriend but I cannot ignore my attraction to her, how do I ask her out?
Q. There is a new lady in office. She is 38 and I am 26. She is really very cute and hot at the same time...rare combination but yes she is. I have been wondering how to ask her out and what subjects could I talk to her on to attract her towards me. ...
A. 9 February 2012: You are not a cave man. Your attraction to this other woman IS controllable. So be a grown up and control yourself. If you aren't happy in your marriage then do your wife a favour and divorce, rather than be unfaithful and ruin both hers and yours ... (read in full...)
Should I tell the guy I've been seeing I met someone else and gave my number to him?
Q. I've been seeing this guy not too long ago...He is Asian/chinese and I am a Latin/south american. He is younger for 8 yrs. Our schedules are very different..I work nights and he days, we see each other everytime we can make it..can be like 2 o 3 ti...
A. 9 February 2012: Okay, you don't need to feel guilty. You are entitled to go out and meet whomever you want. You are not sure of what your relationship status is with your Chinese guy, and that is something you now must figure out.
Ask your Chinese guy if you a... (read in full...)
I'm a guy and I hate sex with my fiance
Q. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I hate having sex with her, and the thought of it now sadly, turns me off anymore. Whenever I try to get her in the mood, I am always shot down. And I mean always. So I stop wanting it, and then my fiance c...
A. 9 February 2012: Don't marry her.
If I were you I think that after a year of this and without any improvement I'd walk out of the relationship. Imagine a lifetime in marriage with this? And they say things get worse once you are married.
If after talking ab... (read in full...)
Maybe I do lack empathy but has my girlfriend's moaning gone beyond the norm?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together 3 years, living together for one. We have good times, we have a healthy relationship in most aspects, but by god there is a problem. She moans and whinges and goes hysterical on a fairly regular basis. ...
A. 9 February 2012: Of course a solution to her problems makes her mad... Because she likes having her problems and moaning about it. It's this bad habit she's got. Or at least we can hope it is a habit, because habits can be changed.
Have you tried telling her what... (read in full...)
Maybe I do lack empathy but has my girlfriend's moaning gone beyond the norm?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together 3 years, living together for one. We have good times, we have a healthy relationship in most aspects, but by god there is a problem. She moans and whinges and goes hysterical on a fairly regular basis. ...
A. 9 February 2012: I don't think it's a lack of empathy. It' a lack of respect for her problems. I wouldn't respect her problems either, to be honest. I don't see her job as anything to whine and complain about. Really, it gets tiresome to have to listen to someone ... (read in full...)
If a guy writes that he is in love with you on his status message on facebook, do you think he really means it?
Q. If a guy writes that he is in love with you on his status message on facebook, do you think he really means it?.He has told me that in person too. Would he only want everyone on his facebook page to see it if he really meant it?...
A. 8 February 2012: If he really means it he wouldn't have a need to post it on facebook, unless he is 13-16 years old. Any adult writing they are in love on facebook is just seeking attention, in my opinion. I wouldn't take it seriously. It can be cute, but it isn't ... (read in full...)
I'm bisexual, and if my mom gets to know she's going to kick me out!
Q. My problem is that i'm bisexual, i haven't told her about me and my mom thinks that it's wrong. And yes, i know tht its wrong.. but i've dated 3 girls and more guys thn 7. Should i tell her? she might kick me out or tell my whole family and my aunt ...
A. 8 February 2012: Just don't tell her then. What's the big problem? I'm also bisexual, yet close to no one in my family knows. Not because I keep it a secret, it's just really none of their business who I fall in love with, nor have it been brought up. Unless you are ... (read in full...)
Based on my personality what animal could I use to best describe me for this job question?
Q. Lol. I've been asked an unusual question on an application form, and i'm not sure how to answer it. I'm applying for a job in a Pet Shop, and the question is to describe yourself as a pet, what would you would be and why!. I guess i need to think ...
A. 8 February 2012: Actually, I'd pick a more unusual animal/pet than a dog. The dog is so common. You want to stand out as unique, although in a good way. You want to be interesting to work with, not boring.
A rabbit: sociable and productive.
A tarantella: ... (read in full...)
Based on my personality what animal could I use to best describe me for this job question?
Q. Lol. I've been asked an unusual question on an application form, and i'm not sure how to answer it. I'm applying for a job in a Pet Shop, and the question is to describe yourself as a pet, what would you would be and why!. I guess i need to think ...
A. 8 February 2012: Lol, what a fitting question for a pet shop. Well what do you personally think? Say dolphin, just for the heck of it. Because you're intelligent and yet willing to jump through loops? With your own description of yourself though I'd go with a Go... (read in full...)
Why did she taste different???
Q. hello I just have some simple questions. back in the second month me and my fiance(which is about 6 months ago) had sex for the first time and even though I knew a lot about foreplay and what to do and what I should do, I didn't know what I liked to ...
A. 8 February 2012: Ooooh, there is one important change you need to know about. You and her became sexual not too long ago. At the beginning she smelt like herself strictly. After being intimate with you (penetration not needed, grinding genital areas together is ... (read in full...)
Why did she taste different???
Q. hello I just have some simple questions. back in the second month me and my fiance(which is about 6 months ago) had sex for the first time and even though I knew a lot about foreplay and what to do and what I should do, I didn't know what I liked to ...
A. 8 February 2012: I think it depends on what she's been eating as well as where she is in her cycle. Try to go down on her the week after her period and then the week before her period to see if there is a difference then. You don't have to tell her if you don't want ... (read in full...)
Au naturale...
Q. I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion....
A. 8 February 2012: PS. your update wasn't posted when I commented the first time. About men pressuring women to shave, I must admit I have not felt any pressure from men to shave. My boyfriends of the past have never complained, and no, I do not shave every day. I ... (read in full...)
Au naturale...
Q. I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion....
A. 8 February 2012: I don't know what you mean, you need to be more specific. Exactly what did you read? That women go out like that in public without having their arm pits shaved? Because I've close to never seen that. And in the occasions I have seen it it was a ... (read in full...)
If it turns out I am pregnant, should I tell him? I know for certain I will have an abortion and I'm afraid he might want to keep it.
Q. So about a 3 weeks ago, I had a friend of a friend who was visiting from overseas. We had sex, and although I've been on birth control for about four years, we did not use a condom. I was supposed to get my period this week, but did not. He is t...
A. 8 February 2012: It is well within reason to ask for him to help pay for a possible abortion, IF he also agrees to have the abortion. If he does not agree that you should have an abortion I think it'd be a bad idea to ask him for money to do it anyway.
Take ... (read in full...)
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1=not important and 10=most important, how important should sexual attraction be in a relationship?
Q. OK Aunts, here is something that has been troubling me. How important should sexual attraction be in a relationship? The reason I ask is because sometimes I think sex and sexual attraction is a distraction and sort of leads us down the wrong ...
A. 8 February 2012: There's no "should". You decide for yourself how important it is for YOU. What others feel or think doesn't matter in it.
Personally, I think it's about a 7-8. Not the most important thing, but definitely of high importance. Without sexual a... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 5 years and never had sex so now he's leaving me
Q. please help.Ihave been with my boyfriend for five years and we have never had sex.resently he stopped calling and texting me and i when i asked him,he said if he doesn't get it from me,where do i expect him to get it from? however when i told him ...
A. 7 February 2012: I have a hard time imagining being in a romantic relationship with someone and NOT want to be physical with them beyond holding hands. Anyway, the OP need to explain why she hasn't had sex yet. Why was she ready for Valentines day and not sooner? ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 5 years and never had sex so now he's leaving me
Q. please help.Ihave been with my boyfriend for five years and we have never had sex.resently he stopped calling and texting me and i when i asked him,he said if he doesn't get it from me,where do i expect him to get it from? however when i told him ...
A. 7 February 2012: I think the relationship might be over for other reasons, and the sex is just one of the things he's brought up. If you've discussed the topic of sex before though, and you agreed to have sex yet you've made him wait... Then yeah, that was mean. ... (read in full...)
B/f left me on a dark street by myself and he knows how terrified I am of this kind of situation!
Q. Just a quick question! What would you do if your boyriend left you in the dark on the street by your self? Ill give you a bit more detail, i', having doubts if my boyfriend acctually does love me, he says he does so much and i acctually started to ...
A. 7 February 2012: I think there needs to be a lot more information given before we rush to say he is a jerk.
The poster didn't say why he left her.
She didn't say why she didn't/couldn't follow after him.
She didn't say how long he was away for.
She didn't sa... (read in full...)
My 27 year old schoolmate is dating a 79 year old billionaire. Isn't this a sign of complete materialism? Or am I an idealistic idiot?
Q. I saw a question posted here the other day that got me thinking about a schoolmate of mine who is a lovely looking lass of 27, an aspiring actress, dating a 79-year-old billionaire. ok im not a complete moron i know that money makes the world ...
A. 7 February 2012: I think you shouldn't judge others and leave others to live their own lives. What's it to you anyways? If you picture yourself to have to be materialistic in order to date a man 50 years your senior, then thats on you. There is no universal rule ... (read in full...)
B/f left me on a dark street by myself and he knows how terrified I am of this kind of situation!
Q. Just a quick question! What would you do if your boyriend left you in the dark on the street by your self? Ill give you a bit more detail, i', having doubts if my boyfriend acctually does love me, he says he does so much and i acctually started to ...
A. 6 February 2012: Him not remembering your traumas doesn't mean he can't love you, or care for you. I think if he shows you he loves you then believe in it. I understand that you had a traumatic experience, but is it really HIS responsibility to remember everything ... (read in full...)
I need better skills with girls. Help! Where do I go now?
Q. Okay, I'm going to make this as short as possible. A few weeks ago, I was going to ask a girl out on a date. We've know each other for a while now, and we talk almost every day. We are both very close friends. So when I found her alone by her l...
A. 6 February 2012: She got asked out on a date and why does that mean she's now gone? You are entitled to ask her to a date even though other guys also ask her. And her dating another guy doesn't mean she'll be in a relationship with that guy.
With every experien... (read in full...)
RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY: I am on the verge of divorce due to this irrational OCD
Q. Once again, my retroactive jealousy/OCD has overtaken me and I am on the brink of separation from my wife of 14 years(i can't blame her she has had enough abuse! She is fed up and repulsed by me talking about the past- Over n over n over etc..which ...
A. 5 February 2012: "No disrespect meant to chigirl, but diabetes, anemia and multiple sclerosis are medical conditions. Obsessing and arguing about your wife’s sexual past is not. If it were medication would have cured it."
Mental illnesses ARE medical conditio... (read in full...)
I used to be ignored in highschool, now guys just want to fool around with me in college!
Q. Well Hi, I just don't understand it. Back in high school, guys never ever showed any interest in me. Not ever. I only got asked to one dance in all four years of high school (there were about 3 or 4 dances a year). The one guy that did ask me ...
A. 4 February 2012: You teach people how they should treat you. If you don't want to just fool around you need to be firm about it. It'll suck since there will be tons of guys you want to fool around with, but you need to keep your eye on the goal and not on the ... (read in full...)
RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY: I am on the verge of divorce due to this irrational OCD
Q. Once again, my retroactive jealousy/OCD has overtaken me and I am on the brink of separation from my wife of 14 years(i can't blame her she has had enough abuse! She is fed up and repulsed by me talking about the past- Over n over n over etc..which ...
A. 4 February 2012: I think you need to seek more professional help as this is beyond your control. This is too much for you to deal with on your own, if you were able to get the behaviour and impulses under control by yourself then you'd have kept it under control for ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
