A
female
age
36-40,
*ivaf
writes:I have serious flirting issues. I have a new guy in my life and he is really sweet but his brother just passed and now he really doesnt seem to interested. He never texts me anymore. what is the best way I should handle talking to him?[Background information added here:] So I have never really had any luck at relationships. I am really curious why .. I have a great personality, I am funny and have many friends. That is my problem I tend to always get stuck in the friend zone because I am not that flirty. I really fell hard for a guy when I was younger and never seemed to get over him until I found out my best friend and cousin had slept with him... I cant even explain how this made me feel. It is really sad how good people tend to get walked all over because currently I am friends with all of them even though it drives me crazy. I have recently let go of my feelings for him and I really like this guy. Everything has been going great but his brother just passed away so now everything is a mess. How can I handle this best?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 February 2012):
 His brother just passed away. That means he will not be dedicating his time to flirting. I often see people come on here complaining why their flirt or new partner doesn't flirt with them or show them attention, following death in the family. And you know, it really isn't that hard to understand. It isn't about you! He isn't ignoring you, nor has he lost interest in you. But his brother died! You need to respect that and understand that in such circumstances, love life comes further down on the list of priorities. He needs time to focus on his life, family, and grieve his brother. Right now there isn't room for flirts with girls who he doesn't know that well.
If you really like this guy then give him space. Contact him in a few weeks time. If you suck at flirting be open and honest instead. Maybe you could give him a call in a couple of weeks and ask him how he's doing. Then talk to him, and eventually ask him if he'd be interested in meeting you.
If he's not able to meet you yet because of his brother (the funeral, it having happened not long ago etc.) then give him further time and contact him again in another couple of weeks.
Him grieving does NOT mean he isn't interested in you as a potential girlfriend. But he simply can not focus on you right now, I am sure you understand that.
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