A
female
age
30-35,
*opeless romantic 101
writes: Dear Cupid,I'm starting to think my boyfriend of 3 years is very possessive.He has just started the same college as me this semester and I thought it would be fun but instead its been hell! First thing, he started getting upset that my female friends were always around us because they were hanging out with me. He gets a major attitude if I don't text him and tell him where i am and meet him soon after my class is over. He even gets mad if me and my friends stop to use the bathroom before we go to meet him!If we are a few minutes late he will accuse me of neglecting him and spending too much time with my friends it makes me feel so guilty.(but im use to hanging with my friends because ive been going there a whole year before he came) Second thing, he just told me im not allowed to text on my phone when im with him because everyone else can wait when we are together at school so if my phone rings im not allowed to even check the call. A few weeks ago i thought i was pregnant and i was so scared so i told my best friend and she came with me to get a pregnancy test. When i told my boyfriend i could be pregnant all he argued about was the fact that my best friend knew before him. He says that i care more about my friends than him but i just felt more comfortable talking to another girl about it and i wanted to know for sure before i told him. Third thing, me and my friends have a guy friend named Robert that sits with us at lunch. My boyfriend saw something Robert posted on my wall on Face book that he found flirtatious and he also says that Robert constantly stares at me. Now my boyfriend is forcing me to tell Robert that hes not allowed to sit with us or be my friend in front of everyone on Monday. I've been knowing Robert years before i knew my boyfriend and i explained to him it would be hard for me to do that but he just yelled for hours until i agreed. Hes so convinced that im selfish and hes always right! i feel like i cant do anything right ! what do you guys think , Is this normal??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (11 March 2012):
 Don't loose Robert as a friend. Loose your psychotic bf in place of Robert on Monday.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 March 2012):
 He sounds downright loony!
I agree with the others who said leave! and leave now!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 March 2012):
 Your boyfriend IS possessive, controlling and out of line. He has no right to tell you who you can hang out with. If he doesn't like Robert then HE can leave, and Robert stays. It's HIS problem, not yours. He needs to deal with his jealousy issues rather than blame them on you.
Your boyfriend is out of line. I agree with Cindy though, calling and texting others while together is rude, but it's not about being "allowed" to. You're suppose to use your own judgement on whether or not a text or a call is important, and you're allowed to check your messages.... Ignoring him is one thing, but your boyfriend is stretching this too far.
Unfortunately, talking to people who have already been spoiled, like your boyfriend, is impossible. He wont change. He is used to getting his way, and you have been bending over backwards and accommodated his stupid selfish needs for so long, that he WONT change. You've spoiled him by letting him get away with this attitude. And now this is the result. The only thing left to do is LEAVE. Leave now before you are left without any friends at all, just him. Don't you see the picture already? First there's Robert, and any male friend you have. He'll force you to stop meeting them. Next there's the rest of your friends, which he's already working at isolating you from. You know where this is going.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 March 2012):
 I agree with the other Aunts and Uncle, this is not normal and not acceptable.
With one little proviso :
OF COURSE you should not be texting other people when you are with him. And not even if you were with your best friend, or with your Aunt Myrtle.
You can check your calls , in case there's anything that sounds urgent or work related. But do not engage in prolonged text back- and- forth when you have company- any kind of company, that's simply rude. Leave that for when you are on your own.
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A
female
reader, jinxx +, writes (10 March 2012):
 Good lord, no. That is not even close to normal. Like the poster below me said, get out NOW! He is controlling to a degree that I have never even heard of before this. It is unhealthy, and he has SERIOUS issues that should be looked into. Please, leave him and do not hurt or neglect your friendships for this guy. He's not even close to being worth it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2012): This is COMPLETELY NOT normal, controlling and abusive. A healthy man in a healthy relationship wouldn't be like this in the slightest. Time to leave my dear. This is horrible - he'll only get worse as he see's you give in to his demands. What a headache to be dealing with a personality like his every day. LEAVE AND DON'T LOOK BACK.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (10 March 2012):
 NO leave now.
I normally have more stuff to say, but LEAVE NOW.
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