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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Friend pushed me away after we had sex for the first time.
Q. You know how it is, you invite one of my best friends over. You study. A cup of freshly made brew turns into cuddles, cuddles turn into kisses, kisses turn into...well, a night of wild sex with no sleep. I had a crush on this girl for the past 2 y...
A. 12 April 2012: "Don't be upset with her if she chooses the Internet guy; in her mental and emotional state, she's bound to be looking for the perfect relationship where she can't be let down."
I second that. Her "liking" a guy she's never met and who is miles aw... (read in full...)
10 months into our relationship, he's decided he wants a complete makeover!
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 10 months now, and I really love him, but recently he's been talking about how he wants to change his look. Grow out some facial hair, cut his hair short, change his wardrobe, and other stuff. Hone...
A. 11 April 2012: Sometimes people just want to reinvent themselves. There doesn't have to be any particular reason behind it. Often, we women, tend to read too much into things and over-analyze.... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 11 April 2012: I never heard of or dealt with RJ in real life either. I've also heard about it here on dearcupid, but I am going to have to say that suffering from RJ is just as irregular as suffering from OCD. RJ appears in many ways to be a form of OCD. Sure, it ... (read in full...)
I really want a tattoo of my deceased ex boyfriend's name but my friends think its a bad idea
Q. Okay, basically my ex boyfriend died in december, we had been broken up a couple months before he died but he was my first true love and never got over it and when he died it just tore me up even more. I feel like I've lost apart of me. I really ...
A. 11 April 2012: You're idolizing him, and having a tattoo of his name on you would only worsen it. Soon you'll start picturing him as the only true love of your life, and no other man can compare. And really, no other man will be able to compete for your love, ... (read in full...)
10 months into our relationship, he's decided he wants a complete makeover!
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 10 months now, and I really love him, but recently he's been talking about how he wants to change his look. Grow out some facial hair, cut his hair short, change his wardrobe, and other stuff. Hone...
A. 11 April 2012: Everyone needs a haircut every now and then. I don't see why you think this has to mean so much then? People do experiment with their looks from time to time. ... (read in full...)
Will having only one testicle affect my sex life?
Q. t have one testicle . would it affect my sexual life. I am 23 years old and virgin guy....
A. 11 April 2012: No, it is highly unlikely to affect your sex life as you do not use your testicles to stimulate the woman. ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I am pregnant? They don't even know about my boyfriend of 6 years!
Q. Hi everyone. Thank you for reading my post. I am in a huge dilemma right now. I am 15 weeks pregnant and don't know how to tell my family. During the last year, I have had 2 abortions due to the fact that my boyfriend forced me to have those. The ...
A. 11 April 2012: You are an adult. You should not be terrified of what you have to do, you should be capable of handling the situation. You being terrified makes me worried that you are in a controlling relationship where your boyfriend is abusive. He forced you to ... (read in full...)
Is it weird not to like kissing in public?
Q. I would like to know if it's weird that I don't like to kiss my girlfriend in front of others. I have no problem with kissing in general. Im not ashamed of her or anything I just feel weird, ya know?...
A. 11 April 2012: Nah, that's normal. Some people like it, others don't. Just make sure you make this clear to your girlfriend, tell her it's not her, but that you are not a fan of public display of affection.
Compromise though, for example agree to kissing ... (read in full...)
Friend pushed me away after we had sex for the first time.
Q. You know how it is, you invite one of my best friends over. You study. A cup of freshly made brew turns into cuddles, cuddles turn into kisses, kisses turn into...well, a night of wild sex with no sleep. I had a crush on this girl for the past 2 y...
A. 11 April 2012: I think most of us have been in your situation, and my personal experience tells me to just play it cool. When the other part is being skittish you will gain more from holding back and let them come to you, than chase them. Chasing scares them away ... (read in full...)
10 months into our relationship, he's decided he wants a complete makeover!
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 10 months now, and I really love him, but recently he's been talking about how he wants to change his look. Grow out some facial hair, cut his hair short, change his wardrobe, and other stuff. Hone...
A. 11 April 2012: I'm sorry, but he refers to his hair as part of his life-story? I think it'd do him good then to change his looks and perhaps get some new perspectives on life. He sounds like he is a bit hung up in his looks, doesn't it? If he keeps talking about ... (read in full...)
Virgin, left husband, now dating but not sure how men will react to my virginity
Q. This is a unique situation I am in. Married for 10 years. Never consummated my marriage with my husband. I am still a virgin. We are now separated and heading for divorce. This was not the primary reason for us splitting. There were other issues ...
A. 11 April 2012: It depends on why you never had sex really. What was the reason for it, and do you plan to have sex and intercourse in the next relationship you enter? If you plan to keep your virginity in the next relationship it might pose a problem, as most ... (read in full...)
Can anyone suggest some cute names for my triplets?
Q. 5 months pregnant, with triplets, all whom are believed to he precious baby boys :) any cute name ideas? My name is Heidi. Their father (who is out of the picture) name is Jon. We live in Texas. Trying to stick with a cute Southern theme :) I have a ...
A. 11 April 2012: Btw, one of my best friends is a triplet, and they all have separate names with no connection to the others' names.
Then again, my brothers friend has 3 brothers, none of them twins, and they all have names that start with S. They're being ma... (read in full...)
Can anyone suggest some cute names for my triplets?
Q. 5 months pregnant, with triplets, all whom are believed to he precious baby boys :) any cute name ideas? My name is Heidi. Their father (who is out of the picture) name is Jon. We live in Texas. Trying to stick with a cute Southern theme :) I have a ...
A. 11 April 2012: I think you ought to go with individual names that fit them and who they are, rather than name them in rhymes. Pick names that fit each of the boys, instead of turning it into some sort of name-show.
Oliver, Elliot and Ryder looks and sounds w... (read in full...)
Why does my ex refuse to accept he is abusive?
Q. Why does my ex still deny his abuse towards me? My.ex and I have been split up for 5 months we had been together 8 yrs but to me was a bad relationship, he hadn't know really what he wanted, although 43, he never made a commitment to me or our ...
A. 11 April 2012: You don't need him to accept that he is abusive if you know he is. Him accepting it wont change the matters one bit. You are the one who chooses to stay in this situation, and when you know how he is you can not continue to blame him.
Have ... (read in full...)
Friend pushed me away after we had sex for the first time.
Q. You know how it is, you invite one of my best friends over. You study. A cup of freshly made brew turns into cuddles, cuddles turn into kisses, kisses turn into...well, a night of wild sex with no sleep. I had a crush on this girl for the past 2 y...
A. 11 April 2012: I think right now you need to accept that she is pushing you away. She's taking her time to figure it out. In the meantime, take your time to figure things out for yourself. For example a good idea would be to properly break it off with your ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 11 April 2012: "Unfortunately we now live in a society with loose morals, it's called having sexual freedom. "
There's nothing new about this at all, men have had sexual freedom for centuries. The only "new" thing about it is that women now enjoy the same fre... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 19, is it inappropriate for us to be together?
Q. Hi me and my boyfriend have been going out for about a month and a half, and it's going wonderfully, I think I am falling for him. The problem is, we get a lot of judgement due to our ages, he is 19 and I am 16. So he has got a job, and I am at ...
A. 11 April 2012: No, it's not inappropriate. It is just your friends who aren't used to it. Tell them that you are tired of being judged and that they should support you since they are your friends, instead of commenting on your relationship. You are happy with your ... (read in full...)
People think I am dating my bi-sexual best friend but its not true, yes we are both single but not together! How do we stop this so it doesn't give the impression we are unavailable?
Q. Most people think I'm dating my bisexual best friend. It's not the case. It's true that we're very close and for instance, when we go out we hold hands or hug a lot, but that's how are friendship has grown. I don't want to change the way I act ...
A. 10 April 2012: Like already said, stop acting like his gf when you are with him. Even if that is how your friendship has turned out, it is keeping you from appearing single, and probably keeping other guys away.
When I went on holiday with my brother everyone... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 10 April 2012: Male anon I don't think your problem is that women are rude to you and you are nice to them. I think the problem is that you don't understand the social rules and know how to act appropriately. Stating firmly what sort of woman you are looking for ... (read in full...)
How do I become a jerk to attract girls?
Q. what does it take to get a gf? im honest, nice, smart and above average looking. i am 16 but it seems that guys who are jerks usually attract girls attention. How do i do that?...
A. 9 April 2012: Grow up. That's what it takes. I mean it literally. Boys at 16 don't land girls simply because girls at 16 don't really have a clue about what they want. And I can near guarantee you that you probably have 2-3 girls your age looking at you wishing ... (read in full...)
What should I do with my hands during foreplay?
Q. During foreplay, what are some things I can do with my hands? I feel like I always just run my hands through his hair lol, and not much else. What are some ways I can touch a guy that will drive him crazy?...
A. 9 April 2012: Do what you feel like you want to do, basically. Seeing as guys are turned on by different things, just like us women, you'll have to let your hands wander and do some exploring to find out what exactly he enjoys that you do to him. So let your ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure because I'm not the hot blonde but a short Asian!
Q. So lately alot of people have been saying im pretty or beautiful. But i just pass it off thinking theyre just saying that because they feel bad for me, theyre my friends, or theyre my family. Whenever i look in the mirror at myself i dont see the ...
A. 9 April 2012: There are different kinds of beauty. I know tons of guys who'd take a short, flat chested, Asian girl over a blond, blue-eyed bimbo. It's a matter of different tastes, and contra your own beliefs not all men are into this "hot" blond, blue eyed ... (read in full...)
What size penis do women prefer?
Q. I am a man aged 34, iam just wondering on what penis size do women prefers. Is big, small or just average and if big how big. What do women enjoy most while having sex. Do they like when a man comes from the back or when he is on top....
A. 8 April 2012: I like the penis to be average length, and a smaller girth than average or on the smaller side of average. I also prefer a man with a bend or curve.
As far as positions go, well no penis is alike. So the positions feel different too dependin... (read in full...)
How do I kiss? (without tongue)
Q. I dont know how to winch or snog as its also called ? i really want to show my love for a person i really love ( ps : with out tongue )...
A. 8 April 2012: I think "snog" is slang for french kissing. Which is WITH tongue. Without tongue is called, well, kissing as far as I know.
You press your lips up against their lips. Pucker your lips a bit. Practice on your hand. Give yourself little kisses. ... (read in full...)
Where in Europe is best for filming the beauty of everyday life?
Q. I know this is a relationship website, but please I really need advice on where in Europe has the best action? (Not in that sense). Basically, I have a film project coming up and I have always wanted to film things that are amazing, so the culture, ...
A. 7 April 2012: Come to Norway if you want the great scenery!
But if you are on a small budget just go to the place where it is cheapest for you to go. There's no "best" way to film every day life. I don't know, but it sounds like you're looking for somethin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 7 April 2012: Wouldn't it be great if she dumped him telling him the truth about why as well?
"We are breaking up. I find it below me to date a man who thinks our future children would be mongrels. I might be an "exception" to you, but you are not even mee... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 7 April 2012: What a ridiculous statement.
Poster, your boyfriend is a racist. You make the decision; is a racist someone you want to be the father of your children? To teach them right from wrong and about morals and so on? If you agree with his views, t... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 7 April 2012: PS. this is a matter of preference, and preference alone. Sure, a sexist man will probably get himself in a fuzz over his woman not being a virgin, but a sexist man will also be in a fuzz about a ton of other things as well. I think it is a far ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 7 April 2012: I agree with the OP. Why force yourself to accept someone who you don't really want to accept, just to be with someone? It's like they say, don't try to change a person into being perfect. Instead find someone who already is perfect to you.
I don... (read in full...)
Ladies: shaved or natural 'downstairs' on a guy?
Q. Ladies thoughts opinions needed: When you are about to have sex/or oral with a guy for the first time and see his thing, is hair down there a turn off? is shaved more a turn on? or trimmed? also what about hairy thighs? shaved? leave alone? I am...
A. 7 April 2012: Maybe it looks bigger from your point of view. But really, girls wouldn't see any difference. Unlike the owner of the penis we don't bring out the ruler and get obsessed about the size of it.
Women care about what you're doing with your penis. W... (read in full...)
Do beautiful women sometimes go out with unattractive guys just because they like the attention?
Q. Hi All, I have a cousin who for a few months hooked up with this gorgeous chick. She was a 26 year old model, and he was a 40 year old government worker. He was head over heels for her, and spent money on her, took her places, etc. We in the fam ...
A. 6 April 2012: "I mean, I know you guys are gonna say the obvious--she as using him for his dough"
Well that's funny, because my first though was that she probably LIKED him. Why is that so hard to imagine? Is he a complete a-hole or something, since this tho... (read in full...)
My friends tell me it's too soon to take this step
Q. Hello aunts and uncles! I'm back again for some advice. Probably here more than I should be but have BPD so its always nice to have a rational insight on what other people think. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 months but have ...
A. 5 April 2012: "The problem is this, my friends are saying this is too much too fast and its a really bad idea."
Ignore what people say, be they friends or someone else. Enjoy your vacation. They're just jealous that you get to have fun and they aren't so they ... (read in full...)
Ladies: shaved or natural 'downstairs' on a guy?
Q. Ladies thoughts opinions needed: When you are about to have sex/or oral with a guy for the first time and see his thing, is hair down there a turn off? is shaved more a turn on? or trimmed? also what about hairy thighs? shaved? leave alone? I am...
A. 5 April 2012: Going down on him for the first time.. he better be natural. If he is shaved it is a turn off, and weirds me out.
I once had a boyfriend who liked it "trimmed", but his version of trimmed was an ugly square cut where he just cut it off without ... (read in full...)
Is there a name for my weird fetish?
Q. Hi When I am in bed at night, instead of masturbating over my crush and thinking about sex with her, I do something a little different. I imagine the two of us together in my bed and holding/hugging each other, but kind of really tightly, like...
A. 4 April 2012: I don't think this qualifies as a fetish. It is something you enjoy to fantasize about, but it isn't a fetish. Wanting to hug and hold close someone you have feelings for is MORE normal than dreaming of just having sex with them. If you have ... (read in full...)
She has started wearing revealing clothing when she goes out without me, am I being controlling by asking her not to do this?
Q. Women, is it OK for your man to try to control what you wear? My wife sometimes wears very revealing clothing when we go out. I like it. I can see people stare. i dont mind that so much because in those instances she is clearly taken. Late...
A. 4 April 2012: "As a guy who has that kind of body I can tell you that biceps are the male equivalent to cleavage in the sense that I catch women checking them out all the time and very often they don't even realize they were looking."
So true. ... (read in full...)
Not making a "quota" system. How much sex per week?
Q. I'm tired of asking the wife and keep getting turned down for sex. We have sex 1-2 per month, I get a BJ approx. 2 times per month. Again, i am not keeping score. I know EVERYONE is different. But, is that something to complain about?...
A. 4 April 2012: If you need it more often than 1-2 times a month then yes... it is something to complain about. If you are happy with 1-2 times a month then no, no need to complain. See my point?
Everyone ARE different, so what you need to focus on is not whet... (read in full...)
She has started wearing revealing clothing when she goes out without me, am I being controlling by asking her not to do this?
Q. Women, is it OK for your man to try to control what you wear? My wife sometimes wears very revealing clothing when we go out. I like it. I can see people stare. i dont mind that so much because in those instances she is clearly taken. Late...
A. 3 April 2012: "I think the other men also have less respect for ME because of it. I become like their fool, as I leave my wife's rack out there for them all to ogle at."
I believe this is the center of it all. This is what it comes down to. YOU feel like a f... (read in full...)
Do I follow my heart and chose one guy or stay with the other guy and always wonder "what if"?
Q. I have been in a relationship with Daryl for 2 years now. He has a child with another woman and we have definely had our ups and downs. I do not get along with his family at all. But I'm pregnant. I love daryl he's a good guy and he's been talking ...
A. 3 April 2012: You child isn't even born. It wont know the difference between living with a biological father and living with a step-father. Really. It wont know the difference, and will have every opportunity to be happy as if you and the real father were still a ... (read in full...)
What does emotionally raped mean?
Q. A girl told me she felt she was emotionally raped by another guy. What could this possibly mean? ...
A. 3 April 2012: I have no idea. Maybe that she was walked over by him and he used her feelings without returning them or respecting her?
You should ask her what she meant if it is important for you to know. ... (read in full...)
Sent my FWB some pictures of me, should I ask him to delete them? Or should I trust that he wont show anyone?
Q. okay i don't really know where to begin, but i met this guy 3 months ago, and after talking for a few months, we decided to be Fwb( this was mid Feb) we have seen each other once since we agreed to be fwb although we have not actually had any sexual ...
A. 3 April 2012: It's just boobs. Don't send pictures like that again, but don't let this kill your mood either. You didn't show your face in them. ... (read in full...)
Ended up having sex with another man while at my bachelorette party at Vegas!
Q. ***Before I begin, please don't judge me for what I did, I already know it was wrong, and I feel horrible*** I am enganged at an amazing man who I love very much, our wedding is about a week away. This past weekend my girlfriends and I went to Ve...
A. 3 April 2012: I think that you'll end up wanting to share this with him sooner or later. I imagine years down from now, if you and him still have a wonderful relationship, you'll look at other couples and think "they are so open and honest with each other, I wish ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to spank your kids?
Q. My mother thinks im cruel because i spank my two year old. I am not ashamed that i do. I only spank him on the rump when hes doing something he knows he shouldnt do. For instance getting into the trash, taking silverware out of the dishwasher, ...
A. 2 April 2012: Personally I think it is wrong. But, it is illegal to spank or otherwise physically reprimand your children in Norway, so it doesn't really matter what I think. I wouldn't be allowed to anyway.
Not that I have studied child psychology, but a 2 ... (read in full...)
Men: what do you prefer? Boobs? or butts?
Q. Hi guys as a matter of opinion what do you prefer in women: boobs or a nice firm ass? I have to admit I am an ass man but what do you prefer?...
A. 2 April 2012: I'm an ass-woman, lol. I check out the behinds of EVERYONE I meet. The guy at work who's at least 20 years older than me has one of the nicest butts I know, haha.
Well, I've got greats boobs, all the guys tell me that. But eventually they all... (read in full...)
Ended up having sex with another man while at my bachelorette party at Vegas!
Q. ***Before I begin, please don't judge me for what I did, I already know it was wrong, and I feel horrible*** I am enganged at an amazing man who I love very much, our wedding is about a week away. This past weekend my girlfriends and I went to Ve...
A. 2 April 2012: You never had the desire to cheat before. You never cheated before either.
"Well,i over did it on the partying... got way to drunk and ended up having sex with another man there. "
Exactly what happened? Did you pass out on the bed and woke... (read in full...)
Sent my FWB some pictures of me, should I ask him to delete them? Or should I trust that he wont show anyone?
Q. okay i don't really know where to begin, but i met this guy 3 months ago, and after talking for a few months, we decided to be Fwb( this was mid Feb) we have seen each other once since we agreed to be fwb although we have not actually had any sexual ...
A. 2 April 2012: Ask him to delete the pictures when you meet him and can actually see with your own eyes that he is deleting them. Then don't send nude pictures in the future because most guys DO share the pictures. Many even put them online to brag about "look ... (read in full...)
She has started wearing revealing clothing when she goes out without me, am I being controlling by asking her not to do this?
Q. Women, is it OK for your man to try to control what you wear? My wife sometimes wears very revealing clothing when we go out. I like it. I can see people stare. i dont mind that so much because in those instances she is clearly taken. Late...
A. 2 April 2012: It's never okay for a man to control what a woman wears unless you live by Sharia-law. Sorry, but in the Western world this is a no-no. You wouldn't like it if she told you what you can and can't wear, or when and with whom. You feel that she is... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
