A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Is it childish/rude to ignore an ex if you bump into them?I live in the same town as mine, and have avoided bumping into them so far (mainly due to my planning!)If I bumped into them and they said 'Hello, how are you?'(which I think they would), I would not want to speak to them... or even acknowledge them... because I think they are a liar and a knob head (basically)!Just wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation? I am worried I will be 'caught on the spot' and say Hi, and get into a conversation with them (then kick myself after!) Because I don't know if I would have the bottle to actually totally blank someone that said 'Hi' (though I really want to!!!!!!)
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiya all, thankyou for the replies.
After reading each one, I realise I am not alone in my thoughts! I think I will continue to do 'damage limitation' (as in continue to keep TRYING to avoid it), but if the inevitable happens, I will probably acknowledge him and then suddenly become very interested in magazines/lettuce/petrol prices etc etc lol!!. (wherever it happpens!)
By the way, I have seen him in the car and he always 'cracked on' (rather more enthusiastically than me)....I have acknowledge him back... (albeit with my best 'poker face!!!) But this was BEFORE I found out certain things, that made me realise he IS a knobhead/liar!
To Realitycheck, I will be keeping an eye out and defo if I see him first I will do a 'major divert operation!' lol
Reader anonymous, He is a knobhead, but I will try and be mature and polite!
YouWish, aaahhhaaahhhaaa, yeah the thought of over friendlyness did make me vomit in my mouth!! Pmsl, you are sooo funny!!Thanks, lol twice!
Female anon, I will do that, thanks
Worldlywise, pmsl at the 30 year avoidance!!!!
Chigirl, glad you got an apology from your 'was a douche, now reformed' ex! I wish I could be brave enough to ignpore/ snub mine! Watch this space!
Female reader anon, that is what I have being doing too! But I know it's a possibility that I may bump into them!
P.S. knowing my luck, I will pop out for a pint of milk when I have been gardening or something with grass in my hair, no make-up, in my tracky bottoms and trainers and bump into them!!!! (Hopefully by that time, I really won't care! lol)
Note to self... DO NOT SHOP AFTER GARDENING!!
Cheers all, much appreciated xxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): I always go places when i know i wont bump into my ex during working hours as i dont want to talk or see him
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 March 2012):
 I don't know about childish or not. If the man hurt you/betrayed you or you don't want to talk to him then I think you're entitled to do whatever you want. You're not working with them, or being friends with them. So no, you don't have to be civil unless you want to. You don't have to harass them of course, there's a line. But ignoring them? Sure. Pretend they are air. I've done it.
I was dating this guy a few years back who made the moves on me. Being very romantic, talking me up, kissing me and telling me how wonderful I am etc. Not a week went buy from me being in his bed almost completely naked, and until he kissed a friend of mine. She wasn't aware that he'd been talking me up as well, so I'm not mad at her. But what a douche.
So whenever I ran into him I ignored him. I didn't talk to him for about a year. He got a new girlfriend, and someone else introduced me to her while she was standing next to this guy. I was smiling at her and talking to her and completely ignoring him. Call it childish if you want, but he ended up apologizing to me some months later. His girlfriend had made him do it. So now we're cool. And he got married to this girl as well, proving that he's not such a douche any more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012): I am still avoiding an ex from almost 30yrs ago! I nod, thats all,never stop,if can't avoid,thats it...you would think after all that time they would get it that your really not interested in a cheery conversation and give up.
Some other exs I do say hi back,sort of smile,then keep walking.One or two we stop and natter have a catch up,think it depends on how you split and how long ago.
I don't like to waste time making awkward conversation with people,male or female, who don't mean anything,but I always acknowledge them back.Its not a big deal and shows your an adult.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012): Hey if.they say hi then say hi back and keep walking, if they try to get u into.conversation just tell them your in a hurry, but dont blank them its rude
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (16 March 2012):
 Ahh, the first awkward meeting between exes after the "exing".
I totally get where you're coming from. There really is no right answer to how you want to handle a run-in with your ex. I can give you my opinion though, especially if it sounds like this guy is a complete toolbox, and the breakup was NOT amicable.
I would suggest that you use "chilly civility". This means impersonal indifference to his presence. Sure, say hi back, but send the message that he means about as much to you as pocket lint or a stain on your collar.
Too much anger, or a dramatic effort to avoid him will give the impression that you're not over him, as well as over-friendliness (which I'm sure that merely reading the word "over-friendliness" just caused you to throw up in your mouth a little!).
The idea is complete and utter *indifference*, as if he doesn't matter and doesn't exist in your universe. Sure you can say hi back, but it's chilly civility.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012): I have been in a situation where I saw an ex, he said hi, and I just said hi and turned my back and talked to my Mum who I was with. Though at the time I didn't recognise him at all, so it wasn't intentional. Generally though, if I see one of my ex's and they say hi I do reply and say hi, and keep walking. I find blanking someone to be extremely bad manners though. You don't have to have a conversation with them just be polite and say hi back and keep going on with what you were doing or about to do. They may be a knobhead, but being polite shows your mature in my opinion. Good Luck
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female
reader, Realitycheck  +, writes (16 March 2012):
 Oh honey, I can't tell you how many people I dodge in life because I don't like them and I see no reason to waste time with the whole "Hi, how have you been?....What's new?"...when frankly I don't give a rat's rear! Be it ex boyfriends, or people I used to work with that I barely tolerated when I had to work with them. When I'm in a large grocery store (and likely to bump into someone from past chapters) just remember to be aware of your surroundings at all times. You can usually spot people before they spot you and make an easy exit. There have been a few times I wheeled around a corner and bumped right into someone I would have rather avoided. So I just barrel right past them with a brief smile and a cheery "Hi!" and then I keep on going like I'm super busy or in a big hurry. It usually works and I don't have to entertain conversations with people who don't itnerest me. I've found the best thing to do is to take the high road. Never say what you really think about them. Don't act mad or irritated just be pleasant and non-challant. Afterall life goes on and grudges just weigh you down. Then again, there's no harm in avoiding people you have nothing in common with anymore. Good luck.
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