| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Help majour zit break out!!
Q. Hey I'm having really bad problems with my skin at the moment I've tried everything products for shops, I have been prescribed 3 medications from my doctor and the one I am currently on take 3 months to start to work I am startsing to worry that ...
A. 5 May 2012: Your skin cells die and new skin cells are made every day. Scars, or red areas, will fade, or disappear, in time. You can wash your face with a light peeler to remove dead skin cells and reveal the new ones. But it's a natural process that takes ... (read in full...)
Help majour zit break out!!
Q. Hey I'm having really bad problems with my skin at the moment I've tried everything products for shops, I have been prescribed 3 medications from my doctor and the one I am currently on take 3 months to start to work I am startsing to worry that ...
A. 3 May 2012: What medication are you on? If it is Isotretinoin then I can guarantee you it works, but the treatment takes around 8-9 months, so you need to be patient. ... (read in full...)
How would you deal with finding out about a one night stand?
Q. Guys or Gals, please share your thoughts. What if you found out a year into your relationship that your girlfriend or boyfriend had a one night stand after being drunk at a bar with another guy/girl they barely knew only a few weeks before you both ...
A. 3 May 2012: Hmm, your girlfriends story sounds more and more like date-rape. I mean she doesn't remember what happened and just woke up somewhere with her clothes off?
I didn't see your last follow-up when I posted. It probably doesn't change much anyway t... (read in full...)
Ex wants someone who looks like me - is she still hung up on me?
Q. I signed up to an online dating agency and saw an ex of mine on there. We broke up 3 years ago but she had described me as her ideal date! Right down to body type, hair and eye colour, personality traits Do you think she might just have a type or ...
A. 3 May 2012: I don't think she's hung up on you, I just think she is clueless about what she actually wants. I mean if her "wants" is an exact description of you then why on earth did she break it off with you? Apparently you are her dream man!
But no, peop... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 3 May 2012: Her being a real person doesn't really make her incapable of lying. She is a stranger to you, no matter of physically real she is or how real her name is etc. I don't understand why you think her having a facebook profile somehow makes her legit. ... (read in full...)
How would you deal with finding out about a one night stand?
Q. Guys or Gals, please share your thoughts. What if you found out a year into your relationship that your girlfriend or boyfriend had a one night stand after being drunk at a bar with another guy/girl they barely knew only a few weeks before you both ...
A. 3 May 2012: It is correct that you do not have to get over this if you feel this is a deal breaker. But then again, if it was important to you that she didn't see anyone else besides you when you dated her then you should have made it exclusive. If you were ... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 3 May 2012: Are you having sex with her since you call her "my girl"? Are you in a relationship? Just because she hasn't asked you again doesn't take away the fact that she did ask you. It is still suspicious. And I wonder why you haven't even talked to her ... (read in full...)
How would you deal with finding out about a one night stand?
Q. Guys or Gals, please share your thoughts. What if you found out a year into your relationship that your girlfriend or boyfriend had a one night stand after being drunk at a bar with another guy/girl they barely knew only a few weeks before you both ...
A. 2 May 2012: PS. I think knowing this would hurt about as much as it'd hurt if someone I liked/was interested in had sex with someone else, or got with someone else. Even without that person having any romantic relationship with me. It just hurts if the one you ... (read in full...)
How would you deal with finding out about a one night stand?
Q. Guys or Gals, please share your thoughts. What if you found out a year into your relationship that your girlfriend or boyfriend had a one night stand after being drunk at a bar with another guy/girl they barely knew only a few weeks before you both ...
A. 2 May 2012: I don't know why she told you.. or why you even asked. Yeah, it'd suck to know. Which is why you just don't ask these things, nor tell. You and her weren't official. You weren't exclusive. And when you haven't sealed the deal yet then you risk ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to ask him where our relationship is heading?
Q. I'm 32 years old and have been dating a guy for 3 months. We get along really well, he does everything "right" - ie texts and calls me every day, makes time to see me as often as possible, is kind and considerate. But something is missing. I am...
A. 2 May 2012: I think it is too early to ask him where this is going. It is also way too early to start wanting more than what you and him already have. You've got to remember the context in all of this. You and him are not gullible and naive 17- year olds who ... (read in full...)
How can people not think of pornography as cheating?
Q. I have something bothering me i've read and discussed this and people say that a boyfriend using porn is no different than him imagining someone in his head but I strongly disagree. Masturbating to porn is alot worse it is an actual picture but ...
A. 2 May 2012: " I don't undrrstand how people don't consider having an orgasm over someone else cheating."
Then all forms of masturbation is cheating and your partner has ultimate control over your orgasm. I don't see how you can view that as anything but pret... (read in full...)
I'm gay and I like my best male friend. How should I address this?
Q. I'm a gay man and I'm in love with my best friend (male.) He's a pretty masculine guy by the way. When I first got to know him, he seemed pretty anti-gay and homophobic, but as time went on, he gave me signals that made me think otherwise. Afte...
A. 1 May 2012: Find a good time.. and then tell him how you feel. Or ask him about his sexuality and if he's ever had a crush on someone he has as a friend... *hint hint*.
You should make your moves before he ends up in a relationship with someone else! But, you... (read in full...)
How should I interpret our relationship?
Q. Hi everyone I was just wondering what you people think of this I met a man 14 months ago we have slept together ever since we have agreed not to sleep with anyone else me or him which we are both happy with we see each other a couple of times ...
A. 1 May 2012: Do you do things together besides having sex or sleeping over? If not, then I would think of this as you being lovers. If you do other things aside from sex, then I'd think you're "seeing" each other, as it is called, but without a need to broadcast ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for my boyfriend and I to love each other but have no sexual chemistry?
Q. Is it possible for my bf and I to love each other but have no sexual chemistry? We have been dating for three months and we love each other very much. We have a healthy realtionship in every aspect except the bed. Its either he cant get an erecetio...
A. 1 May 2012: It is possible to love each other without sexual chemistry, but that is called a friendship. I think you've just labeled this wrong though, you and your boyfriend DO have sexual chemistry. You want sex with each other, right? You're turned on by ... (read in full...)
Why do married men look at other women?
Q. why do married men look at other women? I have a husband who does this and I'm so upset about it. I don't look at other men because I'm happily married with the man I'm with. He tells me I'm beautiful, sexy, bodacious, the whole nine yards, but ...
A. 1 May 2012: Then why did you marry him? Or why don't you divorce him if this is such a deal breaker to you? Did you inform him about this "no looking at other women" policy before you married? Did he sign the paperwork?
Look, he married you and by that pro... (read in full...)
Will penetration hurt?
Q. I finger myself and i wanna know if when i have sex it will hurt. I mean i finger and it doesn't hurt, so will penetration hurt? ...
A. 1 May 2012: Penetration mainly hurts if you are not wet enough and he is pushing too hard and too fast. Penetration can hurt even if you are not a virgin. But if you are well lubricated, and he takes it very slow, then it probably will not hurt. It might feel ... (read in full...)
I think he is using this Christian lady to make me believe he has changed. Surely only counselling with help him, not God?
Q. Master of malipulation or genuine guy who realises what he s lost? My ex and i parted about 6 mths ago,it was a hard relationship. We had children but it was never offical. He had committment issues. And had caused me hurt over the yrs with lies, ...
A. 1 May 2012: God can help many, counseling isn't the only answer to a persons problems you know. Maybe if you are a non-believer you find it difficult to accept, but those who are religious turn to God for help.. not to therapists. And they get help in their ... (read in full...)
Did I miss out on a huge part of my life?
Q. when i was 20 i decided to drop out of the community college i was attending. i was just wasting money because i had no idea what i wanted to major in. at the time, i always felt jealous of my friends who were away getting the "real" college ...
A. 30 April 2012: "i feel a disconnect in my life, because i didn't get to experience going away to college, living in the dorms, all of that. i don't have the life long friendships, or the silly sorority girl stories."
Hardly. You feel disconnected in your lif... (read in full...)
What can I do to get over a threesome that went wrong?
Q. I've been having a real issue trying to get over a threesome gone wrong with my girlfriend that happened almost a year ago. We've been together now for 4 years and about a year ago we were talking about maybe just having some fun and having a ...
A. 30 April 2012: Your girlfriend cheated. And she's making all sorts of excuses, and you've gone along with it for a year already. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but she cheated. Of course she's going to try and brush it under the carpet, even worse she's ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend secretly want me pregnant?
Q. Hello Dearcupid, I think my boyfriend secretly wants me to get pregnant. He keeps asking me when my cycle is, and brought up how I threw up one morning. I'm on the pill, so my breasts have gotten bigger and he asked me if I thought it was because ...
A. 30 April 2012: Sounds like he wants a baby. Or it could be the opposite, that he is scared of you getting pregnant because he doesnt want a baby. Men can be.. weird that way. They don't wear condoms, yet get freaked out if their girlfriend gets pregnant.. as if ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my boyfriend of 6 years even though the spark has gone? Or leave him for the schizophrenic, compulsive liar who I've only ever flirted with over the phone?
Q. I am falling for 2 men, I can't seen to choose who to stay with! one i have been with for 6 years we are both the same age 6 days apart even lol i loved but i have started losing my spark with him. he used to be romantic now he's not hasn't been for ...
A. 30 April 2012: Based on the title, go with NEITHER, and stay single.
He's a compulsive liar who probably lied to you already about tons of things, and the only reason you haven't busted him on it is because it's long-distance and on the phone. In real life he'... (read in full...)
Should I tell him about my pregnancy? He does not want a baby!
Q. Ok to start off yes I know how stupid I was, but it happened and I can't change it now. This guy and I had been on about 2 dates at the time. we had sex and the thing I never expected to happen...happened. I got pregnant. The issue is, he talks ...
A. 29 April 2012: Tell him, it's not your fault it happened. It's his fault as well, so why are you thinking you can't tell him? Just because he doesn't want a child? Well, do YOU want a child? Whether you want one or not, and whether he wants one or not, you are ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be repulsed by oral sex?
Q. Hi. I'm 17 years old and I'm dating a 21 year old man. We've been dating for 2.3 years and I lost my virginity to him over a year ago. He is my first boyfriend and was my first everything. Anyway, we have a pretty active sex life (3-4x a week) and ...
A. 29 April 2012: I think this comes down to your age. You're not "there yet" where you are completely comfortable with your own body and his body and your own sexuality. It is weird to be repulsed by oral sex. Most people love it. There are some who dislike it, or ... (read in full...)
I'm engaged. But should I act on my powerful crush I have with my co-worker?
Q. I have been working with this married woman for about two years. I'm engaged. There was an instant attraction. She is this sexy hipster with a really cute face and a hot body. We started texting and the texts became heated. We decided to pull bac...
A. 29 April 2012: You're wondering which woman you should choose, right? Then why did you only give us a description of ONE of the women? My guess is that you simply are consumed by this ONE woman, the one at the office, and to such a degree that you even forget ... (read in full...)
I don't know if my b/f loves me as much as I love him
Q. Hi. My bf and I love each other. But I'm starting to doubt his love for me. The other day we were watching a movie and the guy saved his life by cutting off his hand and he still got married and had kids. I asked him if someday I lose a part of m...
A. 28 April 2012: You are right. Your boyfriend doesn't love you as much as you love him, or he isn't as dedicated and connected to you as you are to him. He could love you more as time goes by though, you never know. If it hurts too much that he doesn't feel the ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to move in with her, should I do it when we cant really afford it and I'm not ready?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for like a year and a half. I go to school and work and i try my best to make time for her. I'm not the perfect man and i've been told by her that i'm not the best listener and i understand that. When we where dating for ...
A. 28 April 2012: I don't know what area you live in, but when I lived in USA we rented a one bedroom flat for 750 dollars a month. That flat had a huuuge living room and a decent kitchen, and it was lovely, and downtown. Although, it was in a smaller town on the ... (read in full...)
Any ideas for reducing swelling after kissing?
Q. Okay so I'm going to get to the point. Me and my boyfriend like to be a tad rough when we kiss, so it's to be expected for me to have clown lips within a few minutes of making out. Does anyone know anything to make the swelling go down? I would love ...
A. 27 April 2012: Ice cubes on your lips or press something cold against your lips (you don't want to give yourself frost damages either).
Or don't play it rough unless you can stay at home the following day...?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to move in with her, should I do it when we cant really afford it and I'm not ready?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for like a year and a half. I go to school and work and i try my best to make time for her. I'm not the perfect man and i've been told by her that i'm not the best listener and i understand that. When we where dating for ...
A. 27 April 2012: -sigh- You girlfriend is accusing you of being a mommy's boy, yet there she goes trying to dominate you and tell you what to do and expect you to bid her every command. Talk about double standards.
No, don't move in with her. She's not treating... (read in full...)
Why hasn't he asked me to be his girlfriend yet?
Q. i have been dating a great guy for 2 months now and we agreed to only see each other, but he has never asked me to be his girlfriend. could this be because he thinks it is still too soon? or maybe he isnt over his ex, who he broke up with at ...
A. 26 April 2012: Try to introduce him to people as your boyfriend. Pick someone you don't see that often first, just to check his reaction. If he just smiles and is happy about it and doesn't say anything then he is your boyfriend... Just because he hasn't declared ... (read in full...)
Leaving my best friend and my gamer life behind.....
Q. Ok here's the thing. I know this isn't your typical relationship question that you guys get but it's a serious one to me. I'm what most people would consider a 'Hardcore Gamer'. I use to be the guy playing video games for 20 hours a day. Video games ...
A. 26 April 2012: It does sound like games are the only thing you and your best friend have in common. When your entire life revolves around games, and you have no other interests, then you wouldn't need to share anything else with a best friend either. But now, if ... (read in full...)
Why havent I found love? I am 23 and still a virgin, I've never even had a real relationship!
Q. I have reached a point in life where things should happen. as I write this massage, I am 23 years of age, still a virgin and never had any real relationship, yes I have accepted the fact that this is my situation, I might not find love, but most of ...
A. 26 April 2012: Not having found love at 23 doesn't mean that you wont ever find love. Those two are not at all related. You have every bit as much a chance to find love as everyone else in the world. My ex was 23, a virgin, and never had a previous girlfriend ... (read in full...)
Can you make somebody love you?
Q. Hi, I am confused. I know this girl who I have feelings for. But she has no emotional connection to me. She is not interested in dating me. A friend of mine and I saw the movie Cinema Paradisio, where the main character sits under the window of a ...
A. 26 April 2012: When you put two people together for a long enough period of time feelings are bond to arise. However they can be feelings of hate as much as love.
The best way to go about this is to NOT get fixated on one specific girl. I mean even if you make... (read in full...)
Would you prefer that someone lie or tell you the truth when breaking up?
Q. Hi. I have heard of a few breakups from my friends. (They dated other people, and got dumped.). About 50% of those friends of mine said they trusted the dumper more, due to the dumper having been truthful about the breakup reasons, while the other ...
A. 26 April 2012: I think in many cases there are no specific reasons for why a relationship has failed. Or there are many reasons, or the reasons are difficult to see until years pass by and you can look back and clearly see them.
When I broke up with my aggressi... (read in full...)
How important is sexual compatibility in relationships?
Q. How can someone gauge sexual compatibility with someone else? Is communication and experimentation in the bedroom the best way to introduce particular likes and dislikes of each partner? A particular question for female answerers: if a guy told yo...
A. 25 April 2012: You enter a sexual relationship and then you'll see if you are sexually compatible or not, really. That's the way you gauge it. If you are both terrible communicators and never experiment then you are compatible. So communication or experimentation ... (read in full...)
I'm leaving my husband for having an affair and the strip clubs and partying. How do I explain to my children?
Q. I have decided to leave my husband of 22 years due to his recent affair, visiting strip clubs and partying at bars. I have two children ages 19 and 17. They have no idea what their father has done. How do I tell them we are divorcing without me ...
A. 25 April 2012: Don't say anything, and if the demand to know then just say the truth. If they don't ask then there is no need to tell. Perhaps you should have their father tell them instead of you? Perhaps you should sit down with them and tell them together? ... (read in full...)
How do I get my parents to let me stay at my boyfriend's apartment?
Q. I live with my parents and I'm 18 about to be 19 and I was hoping to sleep over at my boyfriend's apartment tomorrow the problem is my parents won't let me even out of the house some days. I don't know what to do?...
A. 25 April 2012: Sneak out? Say you are going to a friend's place instead? Or tell your boyfriend he obviously needs to marry you before you are allowed to stay over. ... (read in full...)
Am I ruining my reputation by dating foreign exchange students? Or am I overthinking things?
Q. I'm a college student who dated a foreign exchange student a couple years ago, and now I'm dating another one. Although my bf and ex have different mutual friends, I'm concerned about my reputation. I don't want people to think I only have non-co...
A. 25 April 2012: You do care way too much about what others think or say. At the end of the say what difference does it make? If others gossip then that says more about THEM than it ever will say about YOU. But honestly, I don't see why people would gossip about ... (read in full...)
I want to please him but I find anal really painful!
Q. My bf that I've been with for years wants to try something new .. Hmm .. Hes been asking me to let him put it in my butt .. But I don't like it ! It's painfully and I want to please him , but at the same time I feel like he should be more ...
A. 25 April 2012: Don't have anal sex. Why is this such a dilemma for you? Sure you want to please him, but at what costs? Isn't the entire point of sex that you BOTH feel good? Find ways to please him that make the both of you happy. End of discussion. If something ... (read in full...)
Good jobs in business that don't involve sitting at a desk all day?
Q. I'm a 3rd year business major but I hate sitting at a desk/cubicle. What is a good career path for a business management major with a creative mind? I absolutely love writing, traveling, entertainment, event planning, designing, learning languages, ...
A. 25 April 2012: Get a job at an international corporation perhaps? Or retail, like mentioned. Or other forms of up front sales and marketing.
Your job isn't your entire life you know, you can still seek your passions on your spare time when you're done at the o... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 25 April 2012: You don't know what the documents were about, they don't have to be related to citizenship (in which case what sorts of documents do you think YOU signing would mean she gets to stay in the country? It takes more than a piece of paper for that sort ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who has done porn?
Q. I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...
A. 25 April 2012: Ha, I get all my partners tested, whether they did porn or not. I learned my lesson when I trusted a boyfriend I once had. We were having sex without a condom (I was on the pill) and I thought he'd been tested! But as he revealed he had NEVER been ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who has done porn?
Q. I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...
A. 24 April 2012: Regarding your follow-up (didn't see it at first):
I don't think it's about the promiscuity. The porn thing is a different matter. There is a difference between keeping sex private and going public with it. You can have loads of sex, but that doe... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who has done porn?
Q. I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...
A. 24 April 2012: I wouldn't mind. Im bisexual, btw, but I wouldn't mind no matter if you were a boy or girl. But I'm liberal that way. More conservative people will have a problem with you doing porn, so this is a question about what sort of man you're looking for. ... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 24 April 2012: Random girl you don't know wants you to sign documents and then suggests you have sex with her? Sounds like a paid service if you ask me.
If she hasn't spoken to you again then just leave it be. Who knows what's up with that, but no matter w... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
