Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Boyfriend will be away for 2 weeks and I don't think I can cope with it
Q. Hi, My boyfriend of over 2 years is away to Europe for the next 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are extremely close, and best friends as well as a couple. This means that we see each other literally all the time and enjoy each other's constant...
A. 6 June 2012: I'm not judging your relationship. I am simply say that what you are currently doing is not healthy, nor is it good for your relationship. That doesn't equal judging. It simply means that you have the option now: smother this relationship into an ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date my 2nd cousin?
Q. Im in love with my second cousin and we have dated in the past. We have never felt the same love with any other but he thinks its wrong and i dont think its incest how do i show him it's not incest and i reseached the bible and its not in there....
A. 5 June 2012: If he thinks it is wrong then that is, unfortunately for you, his opinion of it. His opinion doesn't have to be grounded in facts for him to have it. This is how he feels about it, and no matter what you say or do, he feels this way for his own ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will be away for 2 weeks and I don't think I can cope with it
Q. Hi, My boyfriend of over 2 years is away to Europe for the next 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are extremely close, and best friends as well as a couple. This means that we see each other literally all the time and enjoy each other's constant...
A. 5 June 2012: This experience is GOOD for you and good for your relationship. It's not good for the relationship, or for your own mental health, to be so dependent on someone else. You might think your relationship works just fine being together 24/7, but it's ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend still has feelings for her ex. What does this mean for us?
Q. I was dating a girl for three months. A month and a half she said she wanted to be my girlfriend. She said she's never been more comfortable, its the best sex she's ever had, we both want the same things. About a week ago she said I love you to me. ...
A. 5 June 2012: How long was she single before you became a couple? It sounds as if she hadn't been single long enough. Feelings don't die just like that when you break up. They linger, and can take years to be completely gone. Even if she doesn't love him ... (read in full...)
I want to marry my boyfriend, but I'm not sure he feels the same.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. before we were an item we were friends for a year, i was with someone else but my current boyfriend was head over heels with me saying how much he wanted me to be his wife and how he would take care of me ...
A. 4 June 2012: I really think you should ask him this, not us. Ask him why he talked about marriage, and why he said he wanted to marry you, before you became a couple. But that NOW, all he has to say is "yeah"?!?
You are the one who knows him best, so you're t... (read in full...)
How do I re-establish things after I messed up and groped my best-friend?
Q. I have a bestfriend, I have had feelings for her before and sometimes here and there. I felt as if it was some sort of thing telling me, "Oh she's the one" I had a friend tell me i might just be physically attracted to her which i am as well. A...
A. 3 June 2012: Why did you grope her?
Talk to her, even though it will be an awkward conversation. Tell her that you heard she didn't like it, and that you wish she could have just said something. Because you wouldn't have done it if she had just spoken u... (read in full...)
Still a Virgin at 28 years old and I want to get rid of it.
Q. I'm an attractive educated female and I'm about to turn 29 years old and I haven't had sex yet. Don't get me wrong, I've done everything but get penetrated. I was waiting till marriage but I have no prospects and I don't want this to be a problem ...
A. 3 June 2012: *say, not day... (read in full...)
Still a Virgin at 28 years old and I want to get rid of it.
Q. I'm an attractive educated female and I'm about to turn 29 years old and I haven't had sex yet. Don't get me wrong, I've done everything but get penetrated. I was waiting till marriage but I have no prospects and I don't want this to be a problem ...
A. 3 June 2012: Stop talking about sex. If he talks about sex too early then that is unfortunately a sign that sex is what he is interested in. A man who is interested in YOU will wait with bringing up sex.
Don't lie to him, and don't pretend to know more abo... (read in full...)
Risk my heart for passion? Or not have passion but have stability?
Q. "John" is the father of my four year old daughter. He hasn't seen her in four years. My choice, because I don't like his lifestyle. He's a player, has to be out every single night, and my daughter is only one of three of his kids, all with ...
A. 2 June 2012: George. Or none of them. Or tell them both that you need time to find out what you want, because you are torn between what you should do.
Don't forget that there is a third option, have none of them and make sure you take care of your daughter... (read in full...)
Is it normal for women to only like one night stands?
Q. Hi Just after some opinions really. I know we hear a lot about blokes liking one night stands then losing interest, but I seem to be the female equivilant. I am so happy in my life right now in all ways, and I love being single. Yet I also love ...
A. 2 June 2012: It's normal. You're having difficulties accepting this side of yourself as normal (in fact you called it wrong, and told us you knew you'd be hung out for it). But the problem isn't you, per se. The problem is that it's relatively new for women to ... (read in full...)
I recently lost my virginity, when will sex stop hurting?
Q. hi i just lost my virginty a few days ago , but it pained alot ,and couldnt even let him enter me fully . i am soo confused is this normal? how long does it take for me not to feel any pain ? and when will i get something out of it ,and i never bl...
A. 31 May 2012: It'll start feeling good once he stats paying attention to pleasuring you. And plainly thrusting in and out rarely does the trick, for any woman, regardless of age. He needs to kiss you, touch you, grab at you, caress you, use his tongue and fingers ... (read in full...)
Is a marriage between two alcoholics more likely to survive?
Q. Can a marriage survive if both husband and wife are alcoholics. I continue to read that chances of a marriage to a substance abuser of any kind most likely will not last but, if both of them are alcoholics that possess the same characteristics, ...
A. 31 May 2012: I think that if you have one alcoholic you have a constant strain on the relationship. You have a constant factor that pulls and rips away from the relationship. If you BOTH become alcoholics, well then, you will have TWO factors that constantly ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and want to have a baby even though I'm not ready
Q. I'm 15 and I feel like I want to have a baby even though I know I'm not ready financially. Why do I feel like this? How can I push the thought away? I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and we have talked about having kids but not ...
A. 31 May 2012: Yes, this is purely hormones speaking. For the very same reason almost all teenage boys think about sex every 6th second. It's hormones. Girls are getting ideas about babies, because their bodies are telling them to have one. It's the instinct ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 31 May 2012: About ejaculation and precum and all that. Ejaculation is often linked to the orgasm. But a man can ejaculate without there being an orgasm. I've experienced this in real life, so I know for a fact it can happen. The man can then feel like he is ... (read in full...)
I'm bleeding again even though I've had my period this month! What is wrong with me?
Q. I am constantly having something wrong with me. this time,,, today I started bleeding but I have already had my period this month, the bleeding only lasted the day and it was very very dark(almost black) and very thick. not a slimy thick but an a...
A. 30 May 2012: It's NORMAL to occasionally have bleeding in-between periods. It's called having an irregular period if it happens often. But other times it happens just rarely, and you are otherwise having steady periods. It is not a sign of pregnancy (m... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset with my boyfriend for masturbating 3 times a week when we only have sex once or twice a week?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to masterbate 3 times a week even tho he has a girlfriend? And say your having sex once maybe twice a week. Does the girlfriend have a right to upset with him? ...
A. 30 May 2012: No. Girlfriend has no right to be upset with him. What would give her such a right? His body ultimately belongs to HIM, not her. Ergo, she does not have rights to tell him what he can or can't do with HIS body. ... (read in full...)
How do you create a long lasting relationship with a woman? Do you have to be a 'bad boy'? Or are there some women out there who like the good guys?
Q. How do you make a woman fall in love with you? Yes i know iv heard it all before ''you cant' - ' you cant help who u fall in love with '' etc, but generally speaking, i have found that women who are hurt/abused not necessarily physically, but more ...
A. 30 May 2012: Getting attention, and keeping attention, are two different things. There's also been countless of posts and threads written on dearcupid about this, I suggest you have a search in the archives and read up, because this is a popular question! How to ... (read in full...)
Do guys my age automatically expect sex?
Q. Hey there! So, I'm 18 and I'm getting ready to head off to college soon. Like most kids (I guess some would consider me a "young adult"?) my age, I've been pondering the possibilities of what the future might bring. This includes relationships and ...
A. 30 May 2012: Young guys don't "expect" sex, they just want it. They also know that many women want to wait with sex. Sex is, however, seen as a given these days. It's a part of being in a relationship. But sex isn't for the man to enjoy, and for the girl to "put ... (read in full...)
What do you think of this short story that I wrote?
Q. I wanted to get a strangers opinion before i showed this to any of my friends. so what do you think? any suggestions would me most helpful. this is just a little short story i wrote. wolf My house grows dark with every passing moment of terror...
A. 30 May 2012: You need to create your own account, it's not polite to use someone else's, besides you're robbing yourself of any credit.
I must also add, that if you have intentions of publishing anything and making money out of it, you can not have publishe... (read in full...)
Why is it ok to be a virgin at 18?
Q. If I'm a virgin at 18, why do people say it's okay? I know for a fact that all those numbers people come up with about how many people lie about having sex is complete crap. There are more people around me who either have kids that are 2 or 3, or ...
A. 30 May 2012: Why is sex intimate? Well, maybe you're one of those who wants to do it in public in front of other people and maybe with several people at the same time as well, but most of us want it to be a private and intimate thing, seeing as you are going to ... (read in full...)
Still a Virgin at 28 years old and I want to get rid of it.
Q. I'm an attractive educated female and I'm about to turn 29 years old and I haven't had sex yet. Don't get me wrong, I've done everything but get penetrated. I was waiting till marriage but I have no prospects and I don't want this to be a problem ...
A. 29 May 2012: "I put out this question because I wanted advise on how to deal with the internal and spiritual struggle of being an adult virgin. "
My two scents is that you're struggle is about as difficult to handle as others "struggle" with being adult no... (read in full...)
I'm engaged, he is married and there is no attraction, but I enjoy our conversations! Am I wrong?
Q. I feel like I'm doing something wrong by having an intellectual conversation with another man! I'm engaged, he is married. We are former co workers who are on Facebook together. When we used to work together he came in as the assistant manage...
A. 29 May 2012: Well.. this is complicated because while there is nothing wrong in talking to your male friend (his gender really doesn't matter in this), the conversations is reminding you of how little of a connection you have with your fiance. Maybe what makes ... (read in full...)
What do you think of this short story that I wrote?
Q. I wanted to get a strangers opinion before i showed this to any of my friends. so what do you think? any suggestions would me most helpful. this is just a little short story i wrote. wolf My house grows dark with every passing moment of terror...
A. 29 May 2012: This is just my personal review. Not that I am professional, but I've done a bit of beta-reading and online writing too.
You've got a lot of description, which is good. Many start off with just action, which becomes difficult to associat... (read in full...)
Everything goes great -- until the condom comes out
Q. Hi there. I'm writing this today because I'm experiencing an issue that (apparently, judging by numerous Google searches) many young guys face. I've been dating a wonderful girl for over 8 months now, and it is a committed and loving relationship ...
A. 29 May 2012: It is normal for the inexperienced to be extra cautious. Some are more than others, so I understand why your girlfriend wants to be double protected. However it does complicate things. The condom might also work to try her out, making sex ... (read in full...)
Still a Virgin at 28 years old and I want to get rid of it.
Q. I'm an attractive educated female and I'm about to turn 29 years old and I haven't had sex yet. Don't get me wrong, I've done everything but get penetrated. I was waiting till marriage but I have no prospects and I don't want this to be a problem ...
A. 29 May 2012: Okay let me see if I have got this clear. You have been waiting with sex for marriage. So you want to be married. You are not married yet, so feeling disappointed by that. You are currently not romantically involved with anyone, which also pose a ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain her behaviour to me?
Q. Can anyone give me some advice in regards to this girls behavior at the club last night? Okay , so I was with my friends last night at a club and I usually don't go to clubs but since it was my friends birthday I told myself I would make a ...
A. 29 May 2012: We've been telling you quite bluntly what you did wrong. You can either accept it or don't, battle social norm... or go with it. Social conduct says the man should greet the woman first. Not all live by this, but yes, most women will see it as rude ... (read in full...)
I snooped and found my boyfriend had been lying about watching porn, how do I trust him again?
Q. How do I trust my boyfriend again after he lied and promised he didn't watch porn, but I found out he does by snooping? What should hurt more the fact he broke a promise and lied or the fact he did not come straight out to tell me he watched it? I ...
A. 29 May 2012: The problem here isn't porn. The problem is that he lied. If he lied to you about his porn use, he is lying to you about OTHER things as well! Such as his habits, like drinking habits, maybe he is a gamer as well and hides that too. A boyfriend I ... (read in full...)
I snooped and found my boyfriend had been lying about watching porn, how do I trust him again?
Q. How do I trust my boyfriend again after he lied and promised he didn't watch porn, but I found out he does by snooping? What should hurt more the fact he broke a promise and lied or the fact he did not come straight out to tell me he watched it? I ...
A. 28 May 2012: I don't see how this is about you losing him. You wont lose him unless you choose to leave him. The better question is: why do you choose to stay with a man who lies to you, right to your face? I've been in a relationship with a liar, and trust me, ... (read in full...)
Everything goes great -- until the condom comes out
Q. Hi there. I'm writing this today because I'm experiencing an issue that (apparently, judging by numerous Google searches) many young guys face. I've been dating a wonderful girl for over 8 months now, and it is a committed and loving relationship ...
A. 28 May 2012: "Someone told me to practice masturbating and then putting the condom on...but I don't know if that truly represents the same emotional or physical state compared to being with her."
I'm going to suggest you do this. In addition you should d... (read in full...)
Should Pre-marital sex be avoided?
Q. What do you think of a culture which doesn't support pre-marital sex? I am from India. Here pre-marital sex is frowned upon. My first sexual experience was with my wife at the age of 32. Don't you think I lost some of the precious moments of life?...
A. 28 May 2012: There is no wrong or right. They would not miss out on things. There is much much more to this than just the variable "pleasure". There are more variables which will make this a bad, or good, choice. And, in addition, it depends on the persons ... (read in full...)
Partner doesn't think of me during masturbation
Q. Hi, this question is for women and men, would it bother you if your partner only thought about you briefly or sometimes not at all during masturbation at the start of a relationship? For some reason it bothers me, I would wonder why they hardly ...
A. 28 May 2012: I find it odd that someone would think of me while masturbating, but each to their own. Not that I haven't been used as fodder for the brain, but that is usually taken as an insult... when it's from guys you barely know, lol. As for boyfriends n... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 28 May 2012: Well, she needs to go to her doctors first and get a prescription. This is because she needs test first to see that she can actually take birth control pills. If there is a medical history that prevents it, she can't. High blood pressure or other ... (read in full...)
I'm terrible at reading women.....do you think she likes me?
Q. Hello all you agony aunts, when I'm writing this I'm just trying to figure this all out, and any words of advice or assurance or warning are deeply appreciated. So obviously, there's someone... I've had one class with her all year and sometimes sa...
A. 28 May 2012: Yes, she likes you. You and her went on a date. You need to keep up your advances and move in closer to seal the deal.
Worst case scenario is that she only wanted to be friends, and you get rejected. But the signs are telling you to go for it, ... (read in full...)
Our landlord is trying to take all of our deposit and then claim for extra money for repairs! How do we dispute this?
Q. Our landlord came to check on the property since we are moving out in 4 days, though plans to come back on moving day to do another one. Its as if she is purposely looking to trip us up to get more money as she herself is in a heap of debt - why not ...
A. 28 May 2012: Contact a lawyer to get your deposit back. Or have the costs of repairs drawn from the deposit. There should be no extra repairs outside of this. But READ UP on the tenants rights in your country. They are online (probably, I recall having read this ... (read in full...)
What does fantasy mean in the porn world?
Q. I have some difficulty understanding the whole porn and fantasy thing, when men view porn does the fantasy thing mean they just enjoy watching sexual acts being done to other attractive people? I always thought it meant they pick the videos with the ...
A. 28 May 2012: There are some general false assumptions going on here. "they just enjoy watching sexual acts being done to other attractive people" This is only partially correct. They like watching sexual acts performed by other people. The level of attract... (read in full...)
Should Pre-marital sex be avoided?
Q. What do you think of a culture which doesn't support pre-marital sex? I am from India. Here pre-marital sex is frowned upon. My first sexual experience was with my wife at the age of 32. Don't you think I lost some of the precious moments of life?...
A. 28 May 2012: What would those precious moments have been? Having sex at 32 isn't less great than having sex at 22. No, I don't see what it is you would have missed out on. ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 28 May 2012: Birth control pills are not expensive. Is there a specific reason for why you and her haven't started using them? ... (read in full...)
Can I get my medical records changed/updated?
Q. I went to the doctor's office for an Ingrown toe nail. This is my forth or fifth time there. The problem is when I look at the computer screen, I notice they listed "mild retardation" under my "ongoing medical problem". I am not retarded in ...
A. 28 May 2012: When you see your doctor next, ask to see your medical records. Then when you get them, give your doctor a call, or talk to them again, and ask about what is written there that you feel is not correct. ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 28 May 2012: Definitely talk to her about the possibility of you and her becoming parents, if you want to continue having unprotected sex. I have this conversation with all my boyfriends even though I DO NOT have unprotected sex. You can still get pregnant if ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that a virgin won't bleed on her first sex?
Q. I just had sex with a girl, younger than my age. She claims that she has never done anything like that before and was REALLY innocent on our first try, so do I. I know nothing in making a distinction between the virgin one and the experienced one. ...
A. 28 May 2012: Listen.. sex between two people who love each other tends to be good. You enjoyed the blowjob because you love her, and her touching you feels great. She was good at it because she loves you, and likes to bring you pleasure. This is what makes a ... (read in full...)
Why is it ok to be a virgin at 18?
Q. If I'm a virgin at 18, why do people say it's okay? I know for a fact that all those numbers people come up with about how many people lie about having sex is complete crap. There are more people around me who either have kids that are 2 or 3, or ...
A. 28 May 2012: When people say "wait for the right person" they usually do not mean "wait until marriage". Some do, sure, if they are old school and religious. But what most people mean when they say that is that the "right" person is someone YOU define as being ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain her behaviour to me?
Q. Can anyone give me some advice in regards to this girls behavior at the club last night? Okay , so I was with my friends last night at a club and I usually don't go to clubs but since it was my friends birthday I told myself I would make a ...
A. 28 May 2012: Don't be so worried about looking stupid. Taking a stance isn't stupid. It just shows you've got confidence. This episode shows you do not have confidence, unfortunately. You're too scared of looking stupid, too worried about how you "look" in front ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 27 May 2012: Having unprotected sex is a bad idea, and how much you trust each other is completely irrelevant. But, I am going to hope that this was just badly written, and what you actually mean is that you ARE protected, by birth control pills, or other forms ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that a virgin won't bleed on her first sex?
Q. I just had sex with a girl, younger than my age. She claims that she has never done anything like that before and was REALLY innocent on our first try, so do I. I know nothing in making a distinction between the virgin one and the experienced one. ...
A. 27 May 2012: Not all virgins bleed. You should trust her! It is a not true that all virgins bleed their first time. I didn't bleed my first time either. However, I did bleed another time I had sex, years later, because my boyfriend at the time had a very thick ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain her behaviour to me?
Q. Can anyone give me some advice in regards to this girls behavior at the club last night? Okay , so I was with my friends last night at a club and I usually don't go to clubs but since it was my friends birthday I told myself I would make a ...
A. 27 May 2012: Why didn't you greet her then if you usually give each other a nod? It's one thing that you didn't go over to say hi, but you don't say if you even gave her a nod. In either case, next time attack the bull by it's horns. This means that you should ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain her behaviour to me?
Q. Can anyone give me some advice in regards to this girls behavior at the club last night? Okay , so I was with my friends last night at a club and I usually don't go to clubs but since it was my friends birthday I told myself I would make a ...
A. 27 May 2012: Maybe because you ignored her and didn't say hi to her. I mean you looked at her, she knew you saw her, yet you didn't wave, smile at her, or say hi to her. You ignored her. So maybe that's why she wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine and ... (read in full...)
Why is it ok to be a virgin at 18?
Q. If I'm a virgin at 18, why do people say it's okay? I know for a fact that all those numbers people come up with about how many people lie about having sex is complete crap. There are more people around me who either have kids that are 2 or 3, or ...
A. 26 May 2012: You can't say no girl wants you though until you've asked them all. There's only ONE way to find out what girls you have a chance with, and that's trying!... (read in full...)
Why is it ok to be a virgin at 18?
Q. If I'm a virgin at 18, why do people say it's okay? I know for a fact that all those numbers people come up with about how many people lie about having sex is complete crap. There are more people around me who either have kids that are 2 or 3, or ...
A. 25 May 2012: "Since I started reading you guys' responses I've decided I can't date anyone who's similar in any way to my exes, I can't date anyone not in my age range, I can't date anyone who's not a virgin, and I can't date anyone who I have too much in common ... (read in full...)
Why is it ok to be a virgin at 18?
Q. If I'm a virgin at 18, why do people say it's okay? I know for a fact that all those numbers people come up with about how many people lie about having sex is complete crap. There are more people around me who either have kids that are 2 or 3, or ...
A. 25 May 2012: You're still a kid. The real world hasn't started for you just yet. Wait until you get out of high school, or first years of college or wherever you are. Get a real job in the real world where you are surrounded by adults, and not teenagers, and ... (read in full...)
Why is it ok to be a virgin at 18?
Q. If I'm a virgin at 18, why do people say it's okay? I know for a fact that all those numbers people come up with about how many people lie about having sex is complete crap. There are more people around me who either have kids that are 2 or 3, or ...
A. 24 May 2012: Virginity isn't a curse, lol. If so then we're all cursed, because we've all been virgins.
Get a bit thicker skinned, that's what you need. Stop being so easily influenced that you will let others dictate how you should feel and what you should d... (read in full...)
Why is it ok to be a virgin at 18?
Q. If I'm a virgin at 18, why do people say it's okay? I know for a fact that all those numbers people come up with about how many people lie about having sex is complete crap. There are more people around me who either have kids that are 2 or 3, or ...
A. 23 May 2012: Why exactly does you being a virgin but you BENEATH some people who get dragged to court over custody issues...
You really don't know your blessing, do you? This is just complaints about wanting what you don't have. Blonds want to be brunette... (read in full...)
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