| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I suffer from fear of having sex, help?
Q. I am fortunate enough to be a young female starting my third year of college, and I'm currently in a relationship with someone who I truly care about. Not only do I love and trust my boyfriend more than anything, but he has also been my best friend ...
A. 12 April 2013: I am glad to hear you're doing better. Do you still feel worried about your body and the way you look? Are you still feeling sad and have anxiety? Or has this also calmed down? I hope so.
Best of luck to you. ... (read in full...)
Would you find a 42 year-old Virgin Dateable?
Q. Now to be honest, I have average looks and am average size being a tall, typical bodied white male. The issues exist that I suffer from social anxiety and other disorders, limiting my social skills, which might not attract women right off the ba...
A. 14 June 2012: If you're not a person who naturally shows affection then you'll be better off with a woman who is also non-affectionate. Find a woman who is like you, that is.
Then again, until you've been in a relationship you DON'T know how affectio... (read in full...)
Would you find a 42 year-old Virgin Dateable?
Q. Now to be honest, I have average looks and am average size being a tall, typical bodied white male. The issues exist that I suffer from social anxiety and other disorders, limiting my social skills, which might not attract women right off the ba...
A. 12 June 2012: We are suggesting you don't tell the women you date that you are a virgin, not because it is BAD that you are a virgin. But because talking about your sex-life, whether you have one or not, is NOT first date material. You shouldn't discuss sex at ... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with 10 guys by the time she was 19 Is that normal?
Q. I am 35 and my wife is 34, and she has had sex with 11 men in her life including me. That might not sound like a massive number of partners relative to her age, but the other 10 guys were all between the ages of 15-19. From 19-30 she was with one ...
A. 22 May 2012: ""Part of what is hurting you is the same thing that hurts me, she gave something so special away so cheaply to guys that took advantage of her""
This is why it is so hard for you to imagine a woman having an interest in sex. A woman enjoying... (read in full...)
My boyfriend made a girl pregnant then 2 weeks later he made me pregnant, what do I do or how to handle this situation
Q. my boyfriend went out of the country a year ago,school related cheated on me but denied it, rumor has it he got the girl pregnant. now this girl is also known to be a hoe, so should i believe him or the pple that think she is right but they also ...
A. 22 May 2012: I am glad you told him. Keeping it inside yourself is also stressful you know, and now the weight is off your shoulders and you can focus on yourself and your baby full time rather than spend hours and nights thinking about him and the other girl. ... (read in full...)
Should I pay my children's' father's debt?
Q. My grandma passed away in march, it still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about her. However she was 95 and was able to be in her own home which is better than other ways. I was surprised to get a summons as she left something for my children ...
A. 21 May 2012: Ask him if it is fair that you give him money as if you and him are married, when you in fact are not? Tell him that when he is ready to make a commitment to you you will share money together as a married couple. But until then he, and his debt, are ... (read in full...)
Am I naive in thinking that on a first date nothing more than kissing should happen?
Q. am i naive in thinking that on a first date nothing more than kissing should happen? My friends and I were discussing this today and when I said i would never sleep with someone on the first date, they all said they wouldn't rule it out... But ...
A. 21 May 2012: Sure, most guys will try it off and see if they can "get" something more out of you. They are taught to be that way. Guys in general are taught that they should never pass up on the chance to have sex, and try to get it whenever possible, because ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong not to buy my wife another vibrator?
Q. Am I wrong not to buy my wife another vibrator? A few years ago I bought my wife a vibrator to spice things up in the bedroom. She was a bit hesitant at first but after a while she would regularly use it to finish herself off. As the months w...
A. 20 May 2012: I'm also wondering why your wife needs you to buy her one. Why isn't she just buying one for herself?
Many women are being taught to not masturbate, and to feel ashamed if they do. Using a toy to "finish off" is no different from masturba... (read in full...)
Could this be a latex allergy, or is this normal for your first time?
Q. So I just lost my virginity yesterday to my boyfriend. (It hurt a lot, so there wasn't more than just a little bit of thrusting before we stopped) And he wore a condom, of course. I don't want to get pregnant! But about five or so hours lat...
A. 20 May 2012: PS. cramps are normal. Some women get them after their first time, others don't. ... (read in full...)
Could this be a latex allergy, or is this normal for your first time?
Q. So I just lost my virginity yesterday to my boyfriend. (It hurt a lot, so there wasn't more than just a little bit of thrusting before we stopped) And he wore a condom, of course. I don't want to get pregnant! But about five or so hours lat...
A. 20 May 2012: I think this is probably just because he hurt you and you swell up as a natural reaction. If you bump your lip your lip swells up as well. It's no different. It hurt, and it made you swollen. ... (read in full...)
I feel like I never get alone time with boyfriend.
Q. Hello, I was hoping someone would have some advice with how to handle this situation. I live w/ my b/f, but we both work a lot during the week. So, on a good day, I usually see him only for about 1-2 hrs before we go to sleep. And, during tho...
A. 20 May 2012: Given how much he works he also gets to see very little of his friends. He does see you more often. Not always quality time alone, but he does see you more often than he sees your friends. The problem is that you want more alone time with him. And ... (read in full...)
Would you find a 42 year-old Virgin Dateable?
Q. Now to be honest, I have average looks and am average size being a tall, typical bodied white male. The issues exist that I suffer from social anxiety and other disorders, limiting my social skills, which might not attract women right off the ba...
A. 20 May 2012: Why do you think a woman you date will have her first date with you in bed? By the time you and her get intimate you will, hopefully, already have gone beyond the clumsy and insecure levels and gotten to know each other, be comfortable with each ... (read in full...)
When she watches porn it makes me feel I am not satisfying her. Is this the likely truth?
Q. My wife chooses to watch a lot of porn and this upsets me, and as she knows this now she shuts screen down as soon as i come in the room. I tried to see if wants me to act like the pictures she watches,but she says no. Would her actions suggest she ...
A. 19 May 2012: *finances ... (read in full...)
When she watches porn it makes me feel I am not satisfying her. Is this the likely truth?
Q. My wife chooses to watch a lot of porn and this upsets me, and as she knows this now she shuts screen down as soon as i come in the room. I tried to see if wants me to act like the pictures she watches,but she says no. Would her actions suggest she ...
A. 19 May 2012: Why do you have a problem with it? Is it because it takes up a lot of her time? Does she not have sex with you? Is it against your morals that she watches porn? Is it the type of porn that bothers you?
Just saying it bothers you or upsets you isn'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called my phone but called me someone else's name??
Q. Hi My bf fought with me couple of days back, because i called him twice when he was hanging out with his friends. After that I didn't call him and neither did he. Today he sent text, saying sorry for his shouting at me and i didn't resp...
A. 19 May 2012: I don't know about the rest of your relationship. If you don't want to be with him any longer and you feel hurt often then maybe you should leave.
But, as for him calling you the wrong name I really wouldn't put any thought into it. People d... (read in full...)
I'm obviously doing something wrong with dating and need some advice
Q. right I'm not best person in world when it comes to relationships etc. but I've met a few lasses but never seem to end up in a proper relationship, 1st girlfriend I had when I was around 14/15, and was cheated on... aswell as being dumped the sane ...
A. 19 May 2012: It's annoying to me really, that men being virgins is seen as such a negative they end up getting depressed about it. While women being virgins is supposedly so amazing and great that they get supportive cheers and a pat on the head for being a ... (read in full...)
I think my Bf should find someone better. How can I handle my jealousy?
Q. Well I've been with my boyfriend for about 8/9 months and he's the nicest guy ever we get on so so well and everything should be perfect if it wasn't for my jealousy. Ever since I split up with my ex boyfriend I've been so paranoid because my ex h...
A. 19 May 2012: Don't break up with him! He's not going to believe you if you tell him "it's me, not you. You deserve better", because that is the classic line people say when they actually mean this "I don't like you any more, I want someone better". You'll just ... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with 10 guys by the time she was 19 Is that normal?
Q. I am 35 and my wife is 34, and she has had sex with 11 men in her life including me. That might not sound like a massive number of partners relative to her age, but the other 10 guys were all between the ages of 15-19. From 19-30 she was with one ...
A. 19 May 2012: Sorry, didn't see your follow-up until after I posted. I'll respond now to your follow-up question.
"She was with her first bf from 15-17, and when they broke up she had sex with all those other guys because she "still needed sex but didn't w... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with 10 guys by the time she was 19 Is that normal?
Q. I am 35 and my wife is 34, and she has had sex with 11 men in her life including me. That might not sound like a massive number of partners relative to her age, but the other 10 guys were all between the ages of 15-19. From 19-30 she was with one ...
A. 19 May 2012: What if we said it was not normal? Would you send your wife to a mental institution then? Or are you looking for backup so you can lash out at her, be cruel to her, and call her names, tell her she is not normal and how bad she is and how you can't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend made a girl pregnant then 2 weeks later he made me pregnant, what do I do or how to handle this situation
Q. my boyfriend went out of the country a year ago,school related cheated on me but denied it, rumor has it he got the girl pregnant. now this girl is also known to be a hoe, so should i believe him or the pple that think she is right but they also ...
A. 19 May 2012: So what you are asking is if love is worth accepting a man who cheated on you and will have a baby with another woman, and hasn't even told you about any of this yet?
You need to have a talk with him. It is one thing if he cheated, told you, and... (read in full...)
Should we run away to get married since parents are against it?
Q. I m 23 and he is 25 want to get married but my parents are not allowing me we were in relationship from last 11year now we are trying to run away should we do that just because of caste problem my family members are not allowing me ?please help me ...
A. 19 May 2012: How long have you and him been in a relationship, and how is this relationship working? Where will you run away, do you have any idea? Will he marry you if you run away? Will he take care of you? Because if you run away with him you will not have ... (read in full...)
I don't want to love my ex anymore but I can't get over her
Q. my girl friend dump me a while ago and i still love her but she loves another guy how can i stop felling this way i want to not love her any more but i cant get over her how can i stop it...
A. 19 May 2012: Give it time. Then it will pass by itself. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible a man might be able to get an erection with one woman but never with another?
Q. Hello there! I wonder ,if a man might be able to get an erection with one woman, but never with an other. I wonder,if my husband has sexual desire issues, but not really erection problems.. Does anybody here have psychological ED? Please tell me...
A. 19 May 2012: So he can get an erection with other women? How do you know this, are you having an open relationship or have threesomes etc.?
If you know for a fact that he can get an erection with another woman (porn does not count, neither does morning ... (read in full...)
If a waitress is hot should I put my phone number on the bill?
Q. I'm starting to get back on the dating scene and i was wondering if it is rude or if it even works to write your number on the bill of a resteraunt if you find the waitress hott. Or is that an easy way to get prank phone calls?...
A. 19 May 2012: That doesn't work. You have to talk to her first and engage in a conversation with her. You need to get a "connection" with her. Then you need to ask her for her phone number. Girls rarely is ever play the hunter in the datong-game. Girls want to be ... (read in full...)
I'm only interested in American women, is this normal?
Q. Ok so as the title suggests, I'm only interested in American women. This is based on something not just movies and tv shows. I dated an American girl for 2 and a half years, have spent a lot of time over there and truth be told I just mesh better...
A. 19 May 2012: Normal? You like certain girls, in what part of the world is that not normal? People can have weird preferences, but preferences are still normal.
The best way to find american women to date I guess is to start talking to american women. ... (read in full...)
What general qualities do women look for in a potential boyfriend?
Q. Hello all, I want to know that general qualities that women look for in men. I have never seen myself as "boyfriend" material as a lot of other guys. I consider myself massively confident partially due to the anxiety of saying the wrong thin...
A. 19 May 2012: As for your follow-up: If you laugh often then you are fun. You don't need to be the one cracking jokes and being the clown in order to be fun. Someone who easily laughs, and can apprechiate a good joke, IS fun to be around, in general. This means ... (read in full...)
Would you find a 42 year-old Virgin Dateable?
Q. Now to be honest, I have average looks and am average size being a tall, typical bodied white male. The issues exist that I suffer from social anxiety and other disorders, limiting my social skills, which might not attract women right off the ba...
A. 19 May 2012: "Are there any lines anyone might suggest that I approach her with? "
Be honest about your situation, but ease into it. I think that would be the best policy. The woman you date/are interested in doesn't need to hear your life story on the firs... (read in full...)
I don't want kids, so how do I learn to accept being alone?
Q. After two years of being single and trying the "don't look, someone will come into your life when you least expect it" - she didn't - I tried the online dating thing. Two dates in two years. Have now been single for 4 years and totally and utte...
A. 15 May 2012: "I don't think this is an area for compromise, it's a dealbreaker, you can't hand the kids back like a car"
What do you mean? When did a compromise mean you will hand children "back"? That to me sounds like NOT a compromise. A compromise would be... (read in full...)
What general qualities do women look for in a potential boyfriend?
Q. Hello all, I want to know that general qualities that women look for in men. I have never seen myself as "boyfriend" material as a lot of other guys. I consider myself massively confident partially due to the anxiety of saying the wrong thin...
A. 15 May 2012: If you want to know if you are any fun then ask yourself how much you laugh every day. If you rarely laugh then you are not much fun. If you often have a laugh and smile, then you are fun. Simple as that.
Now, "boyfriend material" just covers t... (read in full...)
Isn't it too early to have sex?
Q. Hello! I met this guy online. We hung out 3 times so far and we had such an amazing time. We text and chat it up all the time... The 3rd time we hung out, there was so much sexual tension between us so we ended up making out and touching each others ...
A. 15 May 2012: "He told me he sees me being the one he will love"
He's trying to get you to bed, not because he "sees you as someone he will love", but because his penis wants to get some action. And those are the words that might get him what he wants. Don't be... (read in full...)
My trust in women is totally shattered because of my ex!
Q. Hello Everybody, I was with my girlfriend/fiancée for 9 years, Our relationship had ups and downs like any relationship. But overall we had a good relationship. Anyway, about a year and a half ago she fell pregnant. She said she wasn't re...
A. 15 May 2012: Don't push yourself. Time doesn't stop, true, and you aren't getting any younger. But you aren't aging slower if you are in a relationship either. So don't push yourself to find someone just because you're feeling that you're getting older. That ... (read in full...)
I suffer from fear of having sex, help?
Q. I am fortunate enough to be a young female starting my third year of college, and I'm currently in a relationship with someone who I truly care about. Not only do I love and trust my boyfriend more than anything, but he has also been my best friend ...
A. 14 May 2012: You sound like you have a near phobia when it comes to this. Or a very problematic relationship with yourself and your own body, the very least. If you can't love yourself then of course you're having a hard time believing, or accepting, that ... (read in full...)
Should I share this dark secret with my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months, and have a great relationship. However, I feel like a fraud... he tells me that everything about me is beautiful, and I feel ugly and empty inside. He thinks I'm beautiful and he loves me, ...
A. 14 May 2012: I have secrets too. Dark ones that I don't want to tell. Not the same sort of thing you did, mine is worse in my own opinion. What you did caused suffering onto yourself only. There are many types of things you can do that cause pain and suffering ... (read in full...)
I managed to convince a guy I fancy that I'm easy but now I need the skills to back it up
Q. I moved about 9 months ago and there's this guy "Sam" back home. My friend and I tricked him into thinking I'm a slut and he likes me better now. I told him when I get home I'd make out with him and give him a hand job. The thing is, I HAVE NO IDEA ...
A. 14 May 2012: He likes you better now? Haha, excuse me, but he doesn't like YOU better. He likes sex, and since you're selling yourself off as a sex toy then sure, he likes the product you are selling. Doesn't mean he actually likes YOU any better. He just likes ... (read in full...)
A man wearing pink skinny jeans?
Q. First reaction/ thought that comes to mind when you see a male wearing red/pink skinny jeans???...
A. 14 May 2012: That he's too young for me. ... (read in full...)
I'm a 20 year old virgin...is that a turn off?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I'm in college. I've never had sex because I've never had a boyfriend and never wanted to sleep with random guys. No one ever believes me when I tell them I've never had sex mainly because I go out/party/drink a lot and ...
A. 14 May 2012: I think it will turn some guys off, yes. It'll turn off those who are just looking for casual fun. At least in my experience. When I was a virgin I dated this guy, we made out, went partying, he seemed really interested in me. Until he found out I ... (read in full...)
How can I accept being ugly?
Q. Rather than continuously wishing and hoping to at least be average, even with working out, eating healthy, makeup and hair straightening, I want to finally just accept that I am ugly. The hope and trying keeps me from accepting it, because in t...
A. 14 May 2012: Accepting who you are comes from within yourself. Your need to lean on others for their opinion, help and guidance shows that you have little self insight, and probably value the opinion of others over your own opinion.
Since what I say then mat... (read in full...)
Would you find a 42 year-old Virgin Dateable?
Q. Now to be honest, I have average looks and am average size being a tall, typical bodied white male. The issues exist that I suffer from social anxiety and other disorders, limiting my social skills, which might not attract women right off the ba...
A. 13 May 2012: At 26 I don't think I'd find a 42-year old man date-able for me, regardless of anything else. So I am probably not the best one to answer this. However, say you were 25-32 instead and my answer would be: sure. Based on the information you gave me I ... (read in full...)
How can I accept being ugly?
Q. Rather than continuously wishing and hoping to at least be average, even with working out, eating healthy, makeup and hair straightening, I want to finally just accept that I am ugly. The hope and trying keeps me from accepting it, because in t...
A. 12 May 2012: You're 18-21, in 5-10 years you'll look at yourself in a whole different light I think. You're still just figuring out who you are and what you have to bring into life, and where you want to go. Your image of yourself will change along with the ... (read in full...)
Why are girls wearing clothes you can see their butts in?
Q. It is starting to get warm out now and why do a lot of the girls wear their shorts so short? I have seen sport shorts and cutoffs and they all seem to be extemely short, to the point that their cheeks are hanging out. I have also seen dresses that ...
A. 5 May 2012: Fashion. People were shocked in the 60's when the first miniskirts were worn as well. Maybe we'll end up walking around nude soon, wouldn't that be nice?
I do think certain clothing becomes.. well, tacky at a point. But young folks are too inte... (read in full...)
I feel an aching pain when I listen to certain pieces of music or watch a movie about selfless love. Why doesn't love like that exist anymore? And why am I feeling this way, when I don't want a relationship nor do I believe in love?
Q. I listen to pieces of music that somehow pulls on my heartstrings and makes me ache with sadness inside, I look at couples and I feel happy seeing them together, I watch films with tears in my eyes that makes me wonder why love like that doesn't ...
A. 5 May 2012: What makes you think love like that doesn't exist "any more". Like if it did exist at some point, but became extinct.
Love is love, not bio-diversity. Love can grow and be just as strong and selfless as your heart is capable of. But if you can ... (read in full...)
Looks like if I want to be with my boyfriend then I better not talk to any other guy for the rest of my life!
Q. My LDR boyfriend of 2 years always gets mad at me whenever he sees me talking to a guy even if it's just a normal conversation, no flirty talks, no hooking up whatsoever. He'll become so mad that he'll bring that into arguments for days. He even got ...
A. 5 May 2012: I think you would do him, and yourself, a favour by leaving him. If he isn't ready to trust you then he is not ready to be in a relationship. A relationship requires trust. Where there is not trust.. there can be no relationship. He needs to come to ... (read in full...)
Help majour zit break out!!
Q. Hey I'm having really bad problems with my skin at the moment I've tried everything products for shops, I have been prescribed 3 medications from my doctor and the one I am currently on take 3 months to start to work I am startsing to worry that ...
A. 5 May 2012: Your skin cells die and new skin cells are made every day. Scars, or red areas, will fade, or disappear, in time. You can wash your face with a light peeler to remove dead skin cells and reveal the new ones. But it's a natural process that takes ... (read in full...)
17 and pregnant. Any advice on how to tell my parents?
Q. I'm 17, 6 weeks pregnant and no clue on how to tell my parents. My boyfriend is 21. Been together for 8months and they know him very well. Mom likes him, father doesn't want me involved in anything serious with any boy but accepts my relationship. ...
A. 4 May 2012: I think it completely depends on who your parents are, how you think they will take the news, and then make your plans on telling them according to what you think would be the easiest and best way.
Any way is better than not telling until yo... (read in full...)
I want anal again but she refuses! What should I do? I want to go with a call girl just for revenge!
Q. We did it two times but she doesn't want it anymore, the first time was painful to her but the second one she enjoyed because i did it a soft way! Now i desire to have anal intercourse again with her but she doesn't want it, we've talked about th...
A. 4 May 2012: Revenge on what? If you're eager to get even then tell her she gets to push a dildo up your ass for each time you want to push your penis up hers. That's what's fair. Lets see how much you enjoy that. ... (read in full...)
Help majour zit break out!!
Q. Hey I'm having really bad problems with my skin at the moment I've tried everything products for shops, I have been prescribed 3 medications from my doctor and the one I am currently on take 3 months to start to work I am startsing to worry that ...
A. 3 May 2012: What medication are you on? If it is Isotretinoin then I can guarantee you it works, but the treatment takes around 8-9 months, so you need to be patient. ... (read in full...)
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