A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I was just wondering what you people think of this I met a man 14 months ago we have slept together ever since we have agreed not to sleep with anyone else me or him which we are both happy with we see each other a couple of times fortnight sometimes we just cuddle or go to each others for a coffee but none of us have actually said what we are to each other he said when I first met him he didn't want a relationship just yet he has a daughter from a previous relationship I also have a daughter to. We were having sex last week and he asked me if I liked having sex with him I said yeah I do and I asked him if he liked sleeping with me and he said yeah a lot what do you thinkis going on with us thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, babygirllovej  +, writes (1 May 2012):
 Hello,
It sounds to me like this is a friends with benefits situation as he clearly told you he wasn't interested in having a relationship. He probably added the "yet" to keep you coming back to him. However I could be wrong and maybe he changed his mind.
Your best option is to talk to him and ask what he wants. If he says that he is not ready for a relationship then stop having sex with him until he is ready. Otherwise you will be letting him use you for sex.
Don't let him sweet talk you either. You are either in a relationship or you are not. You are both past the dating point right now.
Good Luck!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 May 2012):
It does seem to me that all he's really bothered in is the sex and little else. I think though that the best thing to do is to speak to him and see how he really feels about you. Either he'll ultimately care, or he'll try to stall you and you'll know that he's only into you for the sex.
Try talking to him.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 May 2012):
 Do you do things together besides having sex or sleeping over? If not, then I would think of this as you being lovers. If you do other things aside from sex, then I'd think you're "seeing" each other, as it is called, but without a need to broadcast it to the public. Do you have feelings for each other?
Sometimes you can really analyze a good thing to death. I think in this case, as long as you are happy and you are good together, why rock the boat? If it works for the two of you then that's all that matters, not what sort of label you put on it. People don't always have to interact in set ways, every couple, or romantic relationship, is different in it's own way.
Maybe by him saying he doesn't want a relationship he means he doesn't want to have to introduce you to his family and child, or the child's mother, as that could add pressure on him and on the relationship. Or maybe he doesn't feel he has enough time on his hands to have a "girlfriend" as such. Maybe he feels he needs to act differently with you if you were his official girlfriend, and that the label actually can ruin things. So if you are happy with what you've got.. just stick to it.
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A
female
reader, daniellexxxx +, writes (1 May 2012):
 Hi well its a tricky one.. Sounds like he just wants no string sex and nothing full on.. Try ask him how he feels its obvious you want more so stop sleeping with him if it isn't going to go anywhere because you will end up hurt in the long run.!
:)
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