A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have reached a point in life where things should happen. as I write this massage, I am 23 years of age, still a virgin and never had any real relationship, yes I have accepted the fact that this is my situation, I might not find love, but most of the times I keep thinking why, Why I haven't found love, how come I can't someone who can show appreciation for who I am and what I do? the thought of not having that in my life and seeing other people at my age even younger being in love it makes me feel embarrassed, to think that what easily happen to many people doesn't happen to me. I feel bad about myself for that, it makes me loose self-respect as a man. its nature, it what happens to everyone, accept me. I don't know, I'll never know how much it will take to find love, I tried almost everything,even being patient and being myself, nothing seems to work. where and how can I go from where I am?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2012): I will be 30 years old this summer and still a virgin, never even dated a girl. You should not be so worried about it. You need to have a positive attitude. I'm sure there are more virgin men out there, but very few would admit to it. If it's due to a problem of character as in my case (extremely shy), I advise you to use the Internet. It's a great way to get to talk to girls and know more about them before you decide to date.But do not forget, the most important of all is you don't lose your self-esteem or let yourself go, that would only make things worse. Keep doing stuff, going out, never lose hope.I hope you meet a good girl soon.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 April 2012):
 Not having found love at 23 doesn't mean that you wont ever find love. Those two are not at all related. You have every bit as much a chance to find love as everyone else in the world. My ex was 23, a virgin, and never had a previous girlfriend before. Yet he found me (or I found him). When I first spoke to him about relationships 2 months before he and I become a couple, he told me he probably never would have a girlfriend. So there you go. Once it happens it can happen very quickly, so don't start thinking it never will.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2012): First of all what would you expect from a potential partner? what type of person would you like to see yourself with? What are the most important qualities a partner should have? Provided you have realistic expectations in this regard I would say don't panic, it just means that you are not selling yourself short and are prepared to wait for that person, because you want a lasting relationship.
It makes sense. We are all only human and none of us are perfect, so when you meet somebody you have the rose tinted glasses on for awhile, then you get to know the persons faults. Next you ask yourself can I live with these faults? It's important to keep in mind that everyone has faults and not to shoot somebody down if the fault is minor.
Looks - do you generally tend to go by how good looking a person is, you make not consider yourself shallow, but again we are all guilty of it. Get to know the person first. Remove how they look from the equation and identify with things you like about their personality.
My final piece of advice is stop putting so much emphasis on falling in love, because you are so aware of it, that it MUST happen soon, then every time you meet somebody new you are already putting too much pressure on a new relationship when you are only just getting to know each other. Then they either sense that and get scared off or you sense that they are not putting the same thought into the relationship as you are (ie they end up not living up to your expectations so you get disappointed).
This frame of thought does not happen over night you learn it as time goes on and you become more aware of the mistakes you are making. Eventually you get it right and you meet somebody and it just happens.
I'm sure you will meet somebody, focus on another area of your life for now 23 is STILL YOUNG go and LIVE!
Good luck.x
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A
female
reader, Jesslirai  +, writes (26 April 2012):
 You need to try to be less absorbed in finding love, it will come when you least expect it. I would suggest getting involved in school and finding a career that suits you. You are still very young, and have plenty of time to find love. If you are genuinely desperate for a relationship you can always go on free website that will help you find a partner Everyone needs a practice run or two, so try these sites out and if you find a friend or two on there maybe it will build your confidence. As a man maybe you need to think about what you "could" be doing wrong. things like "how is my hygiene? Am i wearing clean clothes? am i nice to girls? am i too nice to girls? do i wear clean clothes? do i smell good? did i do my hair today? am I happy and confident about myself?" A start in this will be taking care of yourself, and having confidence. I as a female know that i am most attracted to a guy when he has confidence and takes care of himself. You might have to battle with yourself on the confidence thing, but just keep telling yourself that you are awesome and doing little things that will help you think of yourself in a better light. There is a saying that goes "If you cant love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?" and I swear by this statement. So quit focusing this energy on "finding" someone and start focusing it on bettering yourself. Someone might see your progress and start chasing after you. Best of luck to you and I hope you find what you are looking for.
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