A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last May (2010), my boyfriend of a little over a year broke up with me. It came out of nowhere, and completely destroyed me. He broke up with me right before we both Graduated, and said that he was tired of not being able to do what he wanted. However, I know he just wanted to get with other girls because I was his first serious relationship; though he denies this fact now, he even mentioned something about this to me before the break-up.Flash forward to August; I had seen boys over the summer, and thought I was completely over our break-up. I was even talking to someone new I had intentions of being more than friends with. When I got a message from my ex saying all he does was think about me, how much he still loves me, and how much he wanted me back. Reluctantly, I have given him a second chance, and we are back together. But now, thoughts of the break-up are constantly on my mind. I`m driving myself mad. Our relationship right now is better than ever, but I just can`t get over what happened; even though I was fine before we got back together. He confessed to me that in the two months we had been broken up, he slept with two other girls. Him telling me this really has me all broken up, and I don`t know why. I know we weren`t together... but I guess I really thought higher of him. My question is, how can I get over him completely breaking my heart, so we can have a happy relationship again?
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 This sort of emotional trauma is common. What's done is done and there is nothing you can do to change it. What you can do is think about how you two are now. Is he good to you? Does he make you feel loved or is his very touch a poisonous reminder of his terrible mistake? All you really can do is try and forget and enjoy the time you two have together and if you can't then perhaps, you two just cannot be together. Those sort of reminders can be huge burdens and they can hinder and shake the foundations of your current relationship with him.
I hope that helps.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): You honestly should of thought this through before you gave him a second chance. I see this a lot and was apart of something like this where people try a second time,it is supposed to be a fresh start. but when you hold on to things which have nothing to do with you like after the breakup you bring nothing but stress over things you had no right being upset about. if you wanna make it last i suggest you just let go of what happened and jut move forward
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): To be honest, I don't think you will be able to.
He completely broke your heart, how can you ever trust him in the same way ever again? I couldn't if I were you. He broke it off so unexpectedly, so he could have free rein of sleeping with who ever he wanted. It was really immature on his part and you didn't deserve that. If he was worth your time he would never have done that to you, he would have showed he cared and stayed together with you.
Yes people make mistakes and I'm not saying it's wrong to give second chances. But now you have realised it will hurt way more when/if the second breakup occurs, as you have reopened the old wound. I'm sure others will have better advice, but from my perspective, I don't think one can get over heart break like that, not when he does it like that out of nowhere and so abruptly, then magically expecting it to go away again after he's had his fun. How will you ever know he won't do it again? Or worse, sleep around behind your back while you are together still? Good luck
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