A
male
age
41-50,
*adkingbilly
writes:i've been married for a month.its so very very hard. She is on medication for depression and she sometimes has described her self as bi-polar - in which case, if that is the case, is the prozac she is on appropriate?How things go is that things are normal, then she will be very very nice. as though I am the centre of the universe and the best things ever.And then a few days later she will tell me that I am an embarrasment to her, that our marriage might not work, and the latest thing is, "how long is your life expectancy"And this goes in cycles, sometimes she's up, sometimes shes down.Theres other odd mannerism - a tendency to not reply or respond in any way to something i've said. And then about 15 seconds later she will reply. It is then I know that her mood is going down hill fast. And the period of treading on egg shells will come back.I've noticed though the last time that i think she had not sustained her medication. But i would have thought missing it a couple of days might not make that much difference? surely the prozac builds up in the body?Anyway, i'm not sure what my question is really. but perhaps some people have some wisdom to share. perhaps have been in the same boat and didn't get divorced.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): This is very typical in many women...and in many relationships. Women go through hormone changes every day and those hormones have an immense effect on their moods. Sometimes she is up and sometimes down. The secret is to know what is going to happen and to understand the mood.I was living through the same thing and then I started using WifeMood. It's a website (it is free to use) that allows a man to keep a record of his wife's moods and then understand how her mood changes in correlation to the day of her cycle. Just Google "WifeMood" and you'll find it.For example, she might be in a great mood in the first week of her cycle, then a horrible mood in the 3rd week of her cycle. Knowing this information, about her, has helped me tremendously in knowing what to expect. Now I know when her mood is going to be great and when it is NOT.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): Hi, I just found this question, I'm sorry, but the first two answers blow.
I'm going through something similar--though there's been no specific diagnosis. It's hard and draining to go through life with someone like this. It can take the fun out of what would otherwise be very happy and enjoyable events. Having to dig deep and forgive your partner every time can lead to resentment, and if you act out on that, it can lead to an abusive relationship.
Also, 'being wary of your every move' is unfair to you, impossible to do, and an unrealistic expectation to put on anyone.
The only advice I can give you is to get help for yourself, as well as your wife. I'm sure you two are dealing with her conditions and medications, but living with a person like that is going to put a lot of stress on you. If you decide to stay in the situation, then make sure you have a therapist to help you deal with the task you're taking on.
Also, you don't have to do it. So if you do decide to, that's your choice and you'll be responsible for how your life turns out. I can't say if you should or shouldn't stay, but making a decision with your eyes open can help you deal with the outcome.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, cherie81  +, writes (28 September 2010):
My husband has been doing this to me for five years, only, he hasn't been diagnosed with any psychological disorders, so we just deal with it. When my husband is in a happy mood, our relationship is perfect. When he's not, the world is crashing down around us, and he's pointing the finger at me. He says its because he doesn't like my sweater, or he thinks I'm physically weak, or for no reason he's not in love with me anymore and maybe he never was. Then the next day I'm the love of his life. It's so hard sometimes, but I always try to think of the prom is I made when i married him. We can't afford a marriage counselor, or even a psychologist, but I think he's sick. So I always forgive him. Always. It's not easy, but you have to know that your wife isn't always in the drivers seat. At the end of the day, she tells you that she loves you and you are the center of her universe, you know that beneath the ugliness of her aggression, she always comes back to being the wife who loves you. Being married to someone like that will put your unconditional love to the test. But if you love her, really really, you can do it!
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 If it is a mental condition such as being bipolar or having depression, that would account for all her aggressive behavior. She seems to love you well enough though from what you described. It is up to you though. Ask yourself two very large, very important questions.1. Do you still love her enough to stay with her through this?2. What causes her to offend you in such an angered manner? Or does she insult you randomly? You should not judge her too harshly, inside, I am sure she still loves you deeply which is why she treats you so lovingly in her more 'benevolent' moods. Bare no anger towards her when she expresses hate towards you, she does not despise you, just be cautious and be wary of your every action. If it helps, seek professional therapy for your own anguish.I hope that helps.
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