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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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Is it ok to be jealous or envious of others?
Q. Is it okay to be a envy/jealous of someone? I have been feeling very envy /jealous of celebrites and models and other people. I feel like the are so beautiful and that they got everything. I know that being jealous isn't good for the health. ...
A. 23 October 2010: I would say that it is alright to feel that way, it just means that you are growing as a person. But it is not something you should encourage.
You realize of course that the celebrities themselves were not born with all of that success, at first... (read in full...)
Making girlfriend my top priority
Q. how can i make my girlfriend feel like she is my top priority?...
A. 23 October 2010: If she tries to open up to you, give her your full attention and NEVER make her feel as though her problems are a nuisance! When she is unhappy, make it a priority to ensure that you can put a smile on her face. If she cries about something, drop ... (read in full...)
We fight almost every day and I'm always crying
Q. Okay so I'm 20 and my Boyfriend is 30. We have been together for a year and a half and he is totally my best friend and we love each other to death and are great! But....we seem to fight almost everyday and I seem to CRY EVERYTIME... I tell him ...
A. 23 October 2010: It really does seem as though he loves you nearly as much as you love him. He has never taken you out on a date, he has never told you that you are beautiful? Does he so much reach out to hold your hand as you two walk beside each other?
Read ... (read in full...)
I was in a physically abusive relationship and can't seem to get over feeling terrified about being anywhere alone!
Q. i am almost 21 i was dating this abusive guy was in a relationship for about 9 months, he would always hit me, push me down stairs broke bones i could not talk to any one about this he threatend to kill me. i have not talked to him for almost 3 ...
A. 23 October 2010: Have a phone with you at all times and if he tries to threaten you, call the police. Have them on speed dial.
You cannot live in fear. Something needs to be done about this. You need to talk to your parents about this, they have to be able to ... (read in full...)
I'm so lost and hurt...
Q. A month after we met he started to like me. i liked him too but i said no only because i wasn't ready yet. so he stopped talking to me, i asked him why he was doing that and his reply' i don't hate you i'm only doing this because i know it would ...
A. 22 October 2010: He stopped talking to you out of vengefulness? He admitted that he was intentionally trying to hurt you and apparently it worked. It just is not worth all this emotion, so ignore him and move on.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I'd like to be with her, should I try to contact her again or forget it?
Q. So in July I met this great girl online. She lives in the next town. She randomly messaged me one day and we clicked. We got to know each other, She kept pushing to see me, so we did, I had a really great time we went somewhere where it was just us ...
A. 22 October 2010: I think you need to clarify what you meant and make it clear that she was the one exception that you felt you could be with. Perhaps that is what she was looking for and your answer led her to believe that there was no future to be found when in ... (read in full...)
I was in a physically abusive relationship and can't seem to get over feeling terrified about being anywhere alone!
Q. i am almost 21 i was dating this abusive guy was in a relationship for about 9 months, he would always hit me, push me down stairs broke bones i could not talk to any one about this he threatend to kill me. i have not talked to him for almost 3 ...
A. 22 October 2010: rcn described trauma perfectly. That is why, if you cannot turn to professional help, you need to take a step forward in the alternative. You can make it through this by yourself. You just need to show yourself that everything is alright and the ... (read in full...)
I was in a physically abusive relationship and can't seem to get over feeling terrified about being anywhere alone!
Q. i am almost 21 i was dating this abusive guy was in a relationship for about 9 months, he would always hit me, push me down stairs broke bones i could not talk to any one about this he threatend to kill me. i have not talked to him for almost 3 ...
A. 22 October 2010: rcn described trauma perfectly. That is why, if you cannot turn to professional help, you need to take a step forward in the alternative. You can make it through this by yourself. You just need to show yourself that everything is alright and the ... (read in full...)
We are eventually getting married why won't he talk about it?
Q. Why is it a problem for me to mention marriage and/or anything about marriage and/or weddings to my boyfriend? We are not engaged yet, but he says we will be eventually. Why can't I talk about these things with him? This has been my life-long dream: ...
A. 21 October 2010: There is not nearly enough information here. If he is uncomfortable with your talk of marriage and a lifelong commitment, then stop. I get the feeling when he says you will be together eventually, he is simply trying to feed your dreams to keep you ... (read in full...)
I'm worried it is just becoming habit instead of having meaning!
Q. My boyfriend and I are together for around 8 months for now. And recently, we started to sleep together, yes just sleeping and heavy petting which includes me giving him handjob and blowjobs and him fingering me. However, I have discussed with h...
A. 21 October 2010: So stop doing it and make sure that you are focusing on the more romantic aspect of your relationship for a while, then, when you are sure that sex is not a necessary part of your relationship, if you wish, you can continue doing what you were doing ... (read in full...)
My son makes me happy, my boyfriend does not
Q. Okay so where to start.. I am unhappy. I gave birth to my first child on October 2nd and even though my son makes me happy, my boyfriend does not. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. When I first started dating him, he was a reb...
A. 21 October 2010: Your boyfriend sounds absolutely useless, but, there is no reason to state the obvious without making a point. The point here is that you have no need of him. He does not make you happy, he does not help around the house, right, now, he is merely a ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want sex and says I can have one night stands
Q. My wife is 51 and I am 48. She says that she no longer feels like sex with any man, although she will reluctantly have sex with me to keep me happy. She has orgasms about half the times we have sex, but says twice a week is too much and that I ...
A. 21 October 2010: Could she possibly be going to menopause? Though 51 is still reasonably early to be going through menopause, it is still a possibility, a theory as to why she does not want sex anymore. Some women feel as though they just are not women anymore, some ... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend do that? am really hurt:
Q. my boyfriend has been chattinng to this girl who likes him.. shes been really flirty with him. i saw her text messages yesterday and i replied back to her.. i asked my bf he said i have nothing to worry about and that i have no idea how ...
A. 21 October 2010: I think it may be wise to see this from a different point of view. Pretend your boyfriend posted on here instead of you. Would he not write something about his girlfriend, whom he loves deeply, not getting along with a friend of his whom he texts ... (read in full...)
What is considered cheating?
Q. Hi everyone what is it that is considered cheating.what did the person do to be called a 'cheter' ...thank you!...
A. 21 October 2010: Well there is always the blatantly obvious occurances where one spouse has sex with another person (with the exception of swingers and other types of open relationships). There are emotional affairs, a married man or woman may fall in love with ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should tell my parents I am meeting my online friend
Q. I met this guy on a chat room and after 2 months of talking I found out that he was different to other guys on it. I added him on msn as I do to some other people. It was quite a shock when everyone else who I added on the chat room to msn wanted me ...
A. 21 October 2010: If you are going to meet him, I do suggest you tell your parents and let them come along with you. If he seems the alright sort, they can let you two have time to get to know each other face to face. Just to be safe.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Feeling Captured!!!
Q. I am 29 year old working woman, living with my maternal grandparents in Mumbai, India. I and my younger sister have no one else rather than them. I am passionate about dance. Didn’t learn dance because of the circumstances. Now I have joined Kathak ...
A. 21 October 2010: First off, why do they feel so strongly against your dance classes? Can you not talk to them about it? You are 29 years old, far too old to still be controlled by anyone. I am sorry if I come across as ignorant, I have almost no knowledge of the ... (read in full...)
What should a lady in my situation should do?
Q. Dear All, Plz plz help me with my situation. I am so used with life abroad that i don't want to go back to my native country specially to the husband who was cold to my feelings and hard life abroad. So i got friendly with a boy younger to me an...
A. 21 October 2010: You have to be honest with all. You simply cannot remain with an unloving husband. If you love this other boy, you should be with him. It will be difficult and undoubtedly divorce will be a burden but in the long run, everyone will be much happier ... (read in full...)
She lied about meeting an ex and it still haunts me!
Q. I really need some help sorting out my thoughts. I've browsed a couple of other questions none ever really gave a distinct absolute answer. Don't know if there is one. 12/2008 I met Susan. Shes 26 im 23. Instant attraction - nothing I had ev...
A. 21 October 2010: You do not trust her. Without trust, a marriage will suffer and die. Without faith in her, your relationship will shatter. Without belief in her, there is no hope of reconciliation.
What she did before does not really matter does it? What would it... (read in full...)
My sister is setting herself up to be used again, what should I do?
Q. My sister went out with this guy for almost 6 years. They always fought about the stupidest things because they both thought that they were right about everything. Last February they went through a rough patch. He would constantly flip out at the ...
A. 21 October 2010: You do not need to criticize him. Because though the past says differently, there is always the chance that he has changed, no matter how small that chance is. I am not saying, encourage her relationship, but cease trying to wipe it out completely. ... (read in full...)
I was in a physically abusive relationship and can't seem to get over feeling terrified about being anywhere alone!
Q. i am almost 21 i was dating this abusive guy was in a relationship for about 9 months, he would always hit me, push me down stairs broke bones i could not talk to any one about this he threatend to kill me. i have not talked to him for almost 3 ...
A. 21 October 2010: I think professional counseling is best for you.
But understand that he cannot hurt you anymore. He is no longer in your life and his threats are nothing but idle tools used to strike fear into your heart and mind.
I know it is difficult but... (read in full...)
Did I deserve to lose my baby?
Q. hey x so i had a miscarrige last year and at the time i just put it to the back of my head an forget about it as well to be honest i was ashamed because i was only 15 but i recently started going out with my best friend and when arguing, he brought ...
A. 21 October 2010: Do not call yourself a 'silly slut'. Having sex and getting pregnant does not make you a silly slut, it just means you are a regular teenager with hormones flowing through your blood urging you to have sex. There are much worse things.
Do no... (read in full...)
Do you think that getting a hand job during a massage is really cheating?
Q. I am a little bored and was intrigued by all the ads for Asian massage places and something called "table shower". My question to you all is do you think that getting a hand job during a massage is really cheating? It seems to me that it is not ...
A. 21 October 2010: When a man looks upon a woman with lust in his heart, he has already committed adultery. Did Jesus himself not say something along those lines? So why would you ask another woman to appease your lusts and question whether or not it is a form of ... (read in full...)
Married and confused about love
Q. I have been married to my wife for 1 year now. We have been together for almost 10 years. This is the first time we have lived together and everything seemed to be going fine. We don't fight and we treat each other with respect. We do not have any ...
A. 21 October 2010: You answered your own question. You do not wish to waste your wife's prime years. You know what you have to do, you have to tell your wife that this is not what you truly wanted and though you truly care about her, you do not and simply cannot, love ... (read in full...)
Why can't a guy get it in his head a girl is taken?
Q. So I have a boyfriend, but there is this one random guy who is insisting I'm like a whore because I'm friendly and have guy friends but I also have girlfriends too, but this one guy knows I'm taken, and keeps asking me to do stuff. I've told him to ...
A. 21 October 2010: You do not have to do anything. If he really starts to annoy, could remove him from your list of contacts or get a new phone number and make sure he does not know what it is.
What sort of stuff is he trying to make you do? If they are threaten... (read in full...)
My worries have pushed her away
Q. I have been with a girl now for 7 months and for the first 4-5 months our relationship was really strong, happy and we had never even argued with each other. around July this year we had our first argument due to a change in the way she was actging ...
A. 20 October 2010: She does not seem as though she is even giving you a chance. She seems to assume that there is absolutely no hope for this relationship. She is finding an excuse to be with that other man.
You have to ask yourself if you are willing to give thi... (read in full...)
My best friend likes me but I have a boyfriend
Q. My best friend in the whole world told me today that he likes me. I like him too but the thing is that I have a boyfriend. We've been dating for a year and a half. I don't know what to do. Any advise?...
A. 20 October 2010: That all depends on whether or not you still have any feelings left for your current boyfriend. If you do, I do not think you should let go. If not, just tell him that you do not feel anything anymore and see how things work out with your best ... (read in full...)
What makes a girl 'girlfriend material'?
Q. Have you ever noticed how "girlfriends" tend to be pretty average looking? I mean, think of your guy friends' girlfriends, the ones they've been with for 3-6 years... they're usually not drop dead gorgeous... Meanwhile, a lot of beautiful women, ...
A. 20 October 2010: I do not believe this to be completely true. There was this one girl in fact, I went to school with. She was the most breathtakingly beautiful girl I had ever seen and she was not demanding and she was in a relationship with a boy for three years ... (read in full...)
When is abortion the best option?
Q. Maybe all of you can help me with this. Since the moment I learned of what abortion is, I have always thought it a good thing. A woman has choices, she can spare a life from suffering if she feels she is not ready. I thought it better than givi...
A. 19 October 2010: First off, I would like to thank all of you who offered your perspective on this subject.
You are right of course, I never specified what 'not being ready' meant.
I suppose in situations where the relationship between a man and a woman is t... (read in full...)
Is there still someone waiting for me?
Q. first of all, good day to all the readers of dear cupid! just call me chary 17 yrs old. when i was in 2nd year of high school my good image in school becomes bad when my best friend invited me to join their clan and i never thought that this wou...
A. 19 October 2010: Of course you deserve the love of a good man! All around you have forgiven you, you are a new woman, renewed in faith and in sinless life. You are free to avoid mistakes and build trust between your friends and family. You are free to seek love and ... (read in full...)
I need help on talking to my boyfriend's parents
Q. I need help talking to my boyfriends parents. I'm incredibly shy and so have trouble talking to people I don't know well. Can anyone give me any advice on how to keep a conversation? I'm very grateful to them as my BF and I were long distance an...
A. 19 October 2010: Well, you could try to get to know them if you have not done so already. Ask where they are from or perhaps even how they met (if everyone is comfortable with it), you could ask them about what your boyfriend was like when he was younger. You can ... (read in full...)
Husband having sex with me while sleeping
Q. I'm a happily married woman but lately I've been encountering problems with my husband.first a roving eye which caused me to have a very low self confidence,then a porn addiction to which I was livid with, which he overcame or so I thought but now ...
A. 19 October 2010: Well, the answer is clear. You need to leave him! It may or may not seem drastic to you but this is what I suggest. By doing this, he has shown a complete lack of respect for you in every way. He has destroyed what trust you used to have, he has ... (read in full...)
How can someone that loves you so much let you go so easily?
Q. I am 34 yrs old with 4 children, 2 live with me, the other 2 decided to live with their dad. A year ago, I met this wonderful 28 yr old man with a daughter. I have custody of my children where as he only gets his daughter every other weekend. We ...
A. 19 October 2010: Stop blaming yourself for packing his clothes in that bag. While that actually may have affected his decision, that is not the fullcrum upon which his actions turn. He probably understands why you did it, he probably knew that he had been showing ... (read in full...)
I've been so stupid
Q. ive made such a mess of things and I dont know what to do next.My wife and I just started a business running a bar together and have been working 18 hours a day 7 days a week.Its going really well. However I got it into my head that she was starting...
A. 19 October 2010: There is not much you CAN do. Appreciate that you have taken steps to ensure that this never happens again. I assume this has been going on for a couple of days now, perhaps you could call her every now and then just to show her that you are still ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to give my cats away!
Q. My boyfriend who wants to marry me, wants me to give away my 2 cats whom i love so much because the cat hair disgust him alot. He loves to spend the night with me, but isnt comfortable because of all the cat hair. Should I give them away? PS he laid ...
A. 19 October 2010: http://www.drsfostersmith.com/pic/article.cfm?aid=682
A couple of tips to reduce the amount of hair your cats shed. Perhaps if that helps he will stop minding it or better yet, he will get used to it and at least adapt, for you if nothing else. If... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend, is it too soon to visit him?
Q. So i cheated on my boyfriend. we're in a long distance relationship, so i'm making a trip down there in a weeks. I've been planning this trip for about 3 weeks now. And a couple days ago i cheated, and i told him. He's very understanding, and he ...
A. 19 October 2010: It is never too soon to visit him. If you visit him now, he will see that you are regretful of what you did (assuming of course that you are). So worry not about the length of time it has been, just go to him and perhaps rebuild whatever trust there ... (read in full...)
I hate that I can't be the child my family deserves!
Q. My parents and I have not been in a good relationship recently. We use to get along just fine, but now all we ever do is fight. I've always had a trouble mind, I just hide it from them so they don't think I need help or anything. All my parents ever ...
A. 18 October 2010: You needn't be disappointed in thinking like this, it is the first step to change. Make it a personal goal to change and then act on it and try your hardest. For every negative thing you say, say two positive things. For example, if you find a ... (read in full...)
Please wipe away my tears
Q. i have a relationship of almost three years with my boyfriend,and we now staying together in the same house.am famaliar with his family and he is famaliar with my family also..for the past month i started to suspect he is cheating on me,i went to an ...
A. 18 October 2010: I am so sorry to have to say this but it sounds as though you have already lost him. Is he still texting her? If he is then that shows he does not even care about how much he is hurting you and you know that you deserve better than him.
I kno... (read in full...)
Why do I stay? I hate the way my wife makes me feel!
Q. Dear Cupid The reason im asking you this is because you have read 1,000's of peoples storys. Im very lost and hurt. I cant focus on reality. I really need some support by someone or a group. Ive been married for 6 years. My second marriage. Im her 4...
A. 18 October 2010: Just leave her. This marriage is going nowhere and apparently she shows absolutely no affection or willingness to at least try. So why stay married? I do not know why you do, but you have to pull yourself together and divorce her.
I hope that hel... (read in full...)
Respecting and trust in a relationship
Q. I have two questions about relationships. What is truly respecting someone? How? and.. What is truly trusting someone? Do they have to earn it or do you just have to learn how to etc...? I need some advice on what the two really mean....
A. 18 October 2010: I will assume this is a romantic relationship, I will attempt to break it down its basics.
View a romantic relationship. Respect is shown when neither partner dismisses the other's beliefs, what they think is right, what they need to do. Feel fre... (read in full...)
Doubts about God and his laws regarding my relationships with partners
Q. Hi guys, I need some relationship advise concerned with Christianity. I am a protestant Christian, but i'm having trouble getting a relationship with god. Sometimes i'm afraid that he's not real and i am wasting my time and the whole bible thin...
A. 18 October 2010: Here is the way I see it:
God does not command your whole heart, God does not demand that you love no other. The way I see it, if God is as omniscient and omnipotent as the ancients and the modern-day believers would suggest, God is but another ... (read in full...)
Why can't insecure people get over they're negative experiences from the past?
Q. Hello. I'm an insecure person, I have all those symptoms, but I cannot afford professional help so I came here, because I know that you're very helpful. I kind of "discovered" the root of my insecurity, it lays in my past, I've been cheated ...
A. 17 October 2010: The problem with this is that you should ALREADY be what he wants you to be, you should not have to force yourself to be anything different.
It is good that you know to control how 'clingy' you are with him but you cannot go on like this indefini... (read in full...)
Why can't insecure people get over they're negative experiences from the past?
Q. Hello. I'm an insecure person, I have all those symptoms, but I cannot afford professional help so I came here, because I know that you're very helpful. I kind of "discovered" the root of my insecurity, it lays in my past, I've been cheated ...
A. 17 October 2010: You already know why you are insecure, the reason why you involuntarily feed these thoughts is because you are trying to protect yourself and ready yourself for something that may or may not occur.
I see how you are trying to be everythi... (read in full...)
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