A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy at a college party and he ended up giving me a ride home.. turns out we lived really close so he invited me to his place before taking me home and we ended up watching a movie. He slowly did the whole putting his arm around me and was very touchy and affectionate. Somehow we ended up downstairs making out and then in his room. We didn't have sex but he finished twice and seemed very please. The rest of the night we cuddled and he made multiple comments about how nice it was just laying with me and touching me. I woke up early and had to go home.. a few houses down because the cable guy was coming at 7am. He walked me out but was half asleep so we didnt exchange numbers or anything. I was definitely interested so instead of waiting for him to contact me first like I should have.. I added him on facebook the next day. I initiated conversation on FB chat and and we had a quick convo.. then later that day he initiated another convo. He told me he wasnt very social during the week because hes been busy studying for the MCAT which hes taking in a few weeks. So I told him I had dibs on him for the weekend in that case and I gave him my number and told him to text me sometime, bold.. i know. We didn't speak the rest of the week and all of a sudden friday morning I got a text asking what I was doing that night. I told him I was free so as soon as I got done for the day around 6 he came over and we watched some tv and ended up hooking up (no sex) again. He kept telling me how nice I looked etc. He then asked me if I wanted to go to dinner. We went to dinner and he paid for mine. He had to be somewhere immediately after though so we parted ways. We both went to diff parties that night. When I got home around 1:30 i was still wide awake and kinda lonely because my roommate was out of town. He had asked where she was earlier in the night and when I told him that she was gone and I was going to be scared to stay in the house alone that night he had offered to "protect me" and said thats what I had him for. So I decided to send him a text saying that I really was alone and scared and he replied saying he would be right over. He came over and we ended up making out AGAIN. He said my bed was too small so we ended up going over to his place and once again hooked up (no sex - and he didnt ask for it) but it was obvious he was pleased and finished again. We once again cuddled all night. In the morning we both had places to be so we parted ways. Saturday night a bunch of people came over and partied here and i invited him via text.. no answer. Called him.. straight to voicemail so i gave up. He sent a text apologizing the next morning saying his phone was dead. Haven't spoken since. Here I am in the middle of the week again. I texted him today for the first time saying something along the lines of "you're going to need a study break sooner or later this week, right?" a couple hours later he said "yeah sooner or later" and I replied "well i want to know when this happens and hopefully it will be sooner". I havent heard back from him yet and it has been a few hours. I'm just sooo confused! When we were together he seemed so interested complimenting me and couldn't keep his hands off of me. I understand that he is busy studying, but is this really why he isn't contacting me? I just don't understand why he never initiates conversation if he is as interested as he acts when we were together those times. What is going on in this guy's head?! Please tell me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): Hey there!
In all honesty, this man be just trying to do that and that only: hookup. He sees how available you are takes advantage of it. Sure he's said things, compliments, etc, but what has he done to follow up with that? He's come over to your house while ur roomie was gone, but thats to his benefit. He has you alone so he can do what he wants. Im not one to be pessimistic or negative miss, but men can certainly be like this. I, thankfully, have not but have been tempted to go down such a road. I dont have any respect for this guy. Youre confused because things are going one way here...youre giving and he's taking. He's prob busy with school yes and stressed out. I hope he's not using you as his sexual release, however, it is possible. Has this guy offered to take you out yet? Has he mentioned anything on his intentions with you? You dont just meet a girl at a party and "casually" hook up with her without any good goddamn reason. I see he hasnt asked for sex, but that may be cause he's not interested in that way or he's just comfortable with doing whatever you guys have done together. Most guys at parties chase tail or something sexual thereof...remember that. I was never given the benefit of the doubt when it came to that and im not gonna give this guy the chance from what hes shown me here with this, with you, a nice woman. Good luck.
A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (29 September 2010):
Don't microanalyze everything. He likes you. He's probably worried about getting into med school. Some guys don't want to just chit-chat if they're not going to see you, and clearly his studies are a priority.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): i think u gota relax, u are rushing him abit to much, take it slow. give him time and yourself time to adjust and not preasure eachother into anything. Just txt him and say that you are there for him and you dont meant anoy him, wait for ihs repsonse. goodluck
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 It has only been a short while. Do not worry just yet, he probably is still very interested in you. If he does not contact you today, perhaps you can contact him a while later to check up on him.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Chill out. I think he likes you, but don't smother him. Be mysterious and let him come to you from time to time. If you're being way too persistent, available, and giving, it can come off as if you are desperate or have nothing better to do, even if you are neither. Find a balance between being independently cool and cutely aggressive. If you hear nothing for a few days, shoot him a quick message, "Hey! Hope your day is going good! :)" Something simple that requires no response, but lets him know he has crossed your mind. Badgering him to hang out might be working against you. He might not be initiating because you aren't giving him the chance to!
Also, I recently was freaking about because my new boyfriend hadn't texted me for a couple of days after our date that previous weekend. I stayed strong and resisted the urge to text him and seem pathetic. Finally, out of frustration, I vented to a friend and he told me to, "STFU and stop being so paranoid. He's probably busy." Sure enough, he had to go on an impromptu business trip and didn't have cell phone reception there. Your guy might be busy. The MCAT is STRESSFUL to the max. He's probably got his head in other places. Don't take it to heart so much. He very well might be busy and occupied, but that doesn't mean he hasn't thought of you!
Stay strong. Stay confident! I hope it works out!!!! :)
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A
male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Perhaps he is doing the same thing to you that girls do to guys.
When they are together, they act just as he does, yet when apart, they act just as he does.
By "ignoring" you, so to speak, he is making you want him.
Is it working? ;-)
Be careful with the sex though. On one hand he may not be pursuing you being you haven't given it up. Yet to do so, could result in a situation of. "I got it, now I'm done". You know, hit it and quit it....
The long and short, he told you he is studying, yes. But he is also playing hard to get.
Haven't you ever done that? :-)
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