My LDR of over two years just stopped talking to me
Q. My long distance boyfriend for 2 1/2 years stopped talking to me just like that. We had such a good relationship and love each other so much. He live in different state which is about 3000 miles from me but we see each other every other month. We ...
A. 18 June 2013: STOP, STOP, STOP!!!!! taking calls from phone number(s) that you KNOW are his... AND from any phone number which isn't identified.....
You have GOT to understand that this creep is trying his darndest to stay in your head.... and EACH and EVERY ti... (read in full...)
My LDR of over two years just stopped talking to me
Q. My long distance boyfriend for 2 1/2 years stopped talking to me just like that. We had such a good relationship and love each other so much. He live in different state which is about 3000 miles from me but we see each other every other month. We ...
A. 17 June 2013: OF COURSE you don't reply. That's HIS way of keeping some/any communications open, with you... and, thereby, KNOWING that you haven't really "forgotten" him....
Be strong....... (read in full...)
My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 15 June 2013: This makes me recall.... back to that incident when my (now) ex-wife caught me in bed with my old H.S. sweetheart. I told her: "Honest, Honey, I was just cleaning my penis and it went off....."
(She didn't buy it!!!!.....)... (read in full...)
My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 14 June 2013: Of COURSE he SAID cheating was pointless... because it WAS (pointless) until he got a chance to bed your "best friend." Funny, isn't it, how the game changes when the circumstances make it possible for a guy to dip his peeny in to a cute/warm/soft ... (read in full...)
My menopausal mother is taking the joy out of my life
Q. This is a relationship question focusing on my mum. I am nearly 20 years old, I am in a three year relationship and recently engaged, I am looking for a house with my boyfriend although we have no firm plans to move out yet, she is going through...
A. 14 June 2013: Look at these three phrases, from your submittal:
"...she tells me its because she sees more potential in me but she's not encouraging,..."
"...I can't please my mother no matter what I choose..." and,
"....but I don't want to, yet she p... (read in full...)
My LDR of over two years just stopped talking to me
Q. My long distance boyfriend for 2 1/2 years stopped talking to me just like that. We had such a good relationship and love each other so much. He live in different state which is about 3000 miles from me but we see each other every other month. We ...
A. 14 June 2013: It "sounds" like he's lost interest in you... so, YES, give up and get on with your life...
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I've developed a crush on my boyfriend's childhood friend
Q. I'm 24 female, and I have been with my 28 year old partner for 4 years. Just recently he's got back in touch with an old friend from his childhood who has moved back into our village and we often invite him over for drinks, the three of us go on ...
A. 13 June 2013: Tell your current "partner" that you find your relationship... including the non-existent sex life and the boredom..... to be not very fulfilling... and that you have taken to fantasizing that his childhood friend is likely to be a better match for ... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself from sending messages to a man who isn't interested in me?
Q. I met a guy who's 2 years younger than me in a dating site. At first, he was very much interested in chatting with me, in meeting me, and was even telling me that i was more important than his work, so he wanted to chat with me more in the middle of ...
A. 13 June 2013: Perhaps the only thing you can do is WEAR MITTENS whenever you are not with him.... THAT will keep you from being able to "message" him.... and will bring this futile situation to an end.....
Good luck........ (read in full...)
How can I convince my ex that it was he who drove me away?
Q. My ex boyfriend split up with me six weeks ago he said he wanted a break. My and my ex used to argue a lot over him going out really. He has also cheated on me a few months ago so I feel like I can't really trust him. After my ex split with me ...
A. 13 June 2013: What you "can do" is FORGET the creep and get on with your life!!!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
He said "I'll always love you" but then broke up with me. What does he mean?
Q. my bf broke up with me and he said "ill always love you" what does he really mean when he says that? does he even mean it or is he saying it to make himself not look like such a jerk? his reason for the breakup was that he didnt want to be in a ...
A. 12 June 2013: Looks like you could use a little interpretation of "guyspeak" here.....
IN this case, "I'll always love you" means that he is going to go on his merry way... and he knows that you MAY "go on your merry way"... but that YOU are really still qu... (read in full...)
Can I get some advice on how to be strong, cope and not just go along with things? My b/f wants a partner, not someone he drags along
Q. Dear Cupid is gonna get a little heavy here... I need some empathy and advice from people who know and have been here, and know how damn hard it is to have an awesome equal partnership when you're the victim of multiple kinds of abuse and strugg...
A. 12 June 2013: I think you've described a great, healthy attitude about yourself, your past, life, in general, and your preferred future....... Keep going!!!!!
Perhaps, one of the most important things you can (and will) be able to do is call upon your pre... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stares at other women but rarely looks me in the eye
Q. So my boyfriend rarely looks me in the eyes when we speak. I find this to be really upsetting. I mean I have literally taken to having to ask him to look at me. I am not talking about when he is under a hood of a car or doing dishes but when we are ...
A. 12 June 2013: "Sounds" to me like YOU are working uber-hard at a "relationship" that doesn't exist....
IF/when someone doesn't look in to the eyes of their partner (never MIND, looking at someone/anyone ELSE you may be speaking with...) it's a red flag tha... (read in full...)
After 5 months of dating he says he needs time. I don't know what I did wrong?
Q. I've been dating this man for 5 months. Things have gone as they should and we've gotten very close. We spend every weekend together and see each other several times during the week. I have let him lead the relationship. It has always been him ...
A. 12 June 2013: I'd be skeptical of the "fact" that you know......
When a guy (or girl) in our age group finds a great partner, we tend to cleave with them and want to spend time, and stay, together..... The primary reason(s) for that NOT happening is because ... (read in full...)
Military Girlfriends HELP!
Q. Dear cupids, my boyfriend just recently joined the airforce... He has been there for 4 weeks now, its getting easier but it still hurts so much now that he is away all the time.. we hardly talk because he is busy all the time and tired. I cant hel...
A. 12 June 2013: Rose: When I was living in Norfolk, I learned that the SECOND most-dfficult job "in the military" was being a military WIFE. No sane woman would marry a soldier/sailor/airman/marine or coastie......!!!!!
I misunderstood your submittal, some... ... (read in full...)
My much older husband treats me terribly. The only reason I stay is for the kids. How long will I have to live like this?
Q. I have been married for 4 1/2 years now. For the past 3 years I noticed that my husband started complaining about every little thing in the house. Eg if I put my laptop on the table and my daughter spills water in it he would scream at me in front...
A. 11 June 2013: So this old creep is torturing you... and you ask, primarily, "how long do I have to endure this "for the kids' sake?"
Well... good luck... because the answer is.... you REALLY don't have to endure his abuse for more than a few minutes!!! Your ki... (read in full...)
Fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!!! I feel really used!!
Q. Hi everyone. OMG!!!! I just fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!! I am such a mess. I really need some help from all of you!!!!! We work together and he suggested we meet outside the workplace for coffee. We talked for a couple o...
A. 11 June 2013: Sooo... what you're REALLY SAYING is: "I KNOW I'm this guy's tart... and I KNOW that this is ill-fated, and it's going to blow up and f**k up at least four lives... BUT, I've justified it because it's "addictive".... which is my way of saying "I ... (read in full...)
Can you come back from bad fights and make it new again?
Q. My man and I have split up twice in a short amount of time and gotten back together. We had a few knock down drag out fights. Emotionally anyway. We just got back together today after a couple of days apart. We love each other and want to work out, ...
A. 10 June 2013: It's possible.... but it's a long shot. Your reporting that you and he have had more than one such incident suggests that the two of you have more, and deep-rooted, differences.... and that makes the two of you a "long shot"...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I am going through a lot right now and need some advice on how to pick myself please?
Q. I feel so trapped and unhappy right now and I don't know what to do. I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for just over 3 years. In that time we have had more than our fair share of problems (him putting his friends first, smoking weed, texting ...
A. 10 June 2013: Look at these two quotes from your submittal:
"I have wanted to end things with him, but I have never gone through with it." and, "...and every time I think about my life without him I get so sad and remember all of his good points."
The "an... (read in full...)
My bf's attention to his ex is hurting me. Am I being unreasonable? Help.
Q. I'm getting really down in the dumps about my boyfriend messaging his ex behind my back all the time. They split up 10 years ago but he speaks to her more than any of his other friends. He knows I find it uncomfortable and its starting to hurt me. ...
A. 10 June 2013: FORGET the "ex-".... Just about ALL of his behaviour is unacceptable for a mature/adult man who is "supposed to be" in a "warm, loving relationship" with a woman (you!)...
I suggest you forget him and hope that you find a REAL boyfriend, some tim... (read in full...)
Do I give up and move on to try to find happiness? Or do I stay? We have 2 children together.
Q. Please help! I will get straight to the point. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together total for 10. In the beginning of our dating and married relationship I tried my best to be the best wife I could be. Obviously I know ...
A. 10 June 2013: I would offer two bits of advice.
Relative to (your): "...I tried my best to be the best wife I could be." It sounds like your hubby DIDN'T try to be the best HUSBAND that he could be. The field is tipped in his favor by your believin... (read in full...)
I'm tired from working so much and husband says he'll go elsewhere if I don't want to have sex!
Q. So here i am back here again... not sure what to do anymore... i been with my husband off and on for 17 yeats but have only been married 6 months .... i work all the time to support our family and hes been getting upset with me cuz im not in the ...
A. 10 June 2013: How flagrantly does this guy have to use and abuse you before you call "Time out" .... and let him know that you've had your fill of him.... and that you're leaving.... and that there's no looking back???????
The person you described as living w... (read in full...)
After two years I'm finding him both controlling and dull
Q. Hi. So I've been with my fiance for almost two years next month...(Cheated on him two weeks into our relationship) Anyway, I guess I'm finding him a bit boring and controlling these days... please note my partner has "Autistic tendencies...
A. 10 June 2013: Cripes!!! You describe a "non-relationship" that you want us to encourage you to part from (YES, get away from this guy)..... BUT, then you tell us you want to get with this "dream" guy who has children by 3 different women!!!... the kids don't ... (read in full...)
Military Girlfriends HELP!
Q. Dear cupids, my boyfriend just recently joined the airforce... He has been there for 4 weeks now, its getting easier but it still hurts so much now that he is away all the time.. we hardly talk because he is busy all the time and tired. I cant hel...
A. 9 June 2013: The Air Force is NOT in-place to accomodate you, your boyfriend, and the relationship that you and he have. It is a MILITARY organization... and your boyfriend joined them of his own free will.....
NOW,... grow up a bit and understand that you... (read in full...)
Fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!!! I feel really used!!
Q. Hi everyone. OMG!!!! I just fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!! I am such a mess. I really need some help from all of you!!!!! We work together and he suggested we meet outside the workplace for coffee. We talked for a couple o...
A. 9 June 2013: Stick with the "... rotten and stupid.. " feelings... because they're more appropriate....
THEN, don't ever meet, spend time with, or remove your clothes for this guy.... Did you not notice that he has had TWO wives, previously????? Do YOU want... (read in full...)
Exclusive or not....what is acceptable?
Q. I want to know if I am being unrealistic or not. How long should you wait before being exclusive with someone? I am 47 years old and I met a man on POF who is soon to be 49 back in March. We are both quite attractive and we have been dating for 3 ...
A. 9 June 2013: You are catching on.... NOW... finish the task and drop him from your life. This guy is, obviously, not interested in the "exclusive" relationship that YOU would like to have....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
He's getting married so why is he contacting me??
Q. I made a huge mistake. The biggest mistake of my life actually and i'm not really sure how to move on from it all. I ended up getting involved with somebody who had a girlfriend, now fiancée apparently. We were both single when it started and it was ...
A. 9 June 2013: You write: "...I have no intention of seeing him or speaking to him ever again but i wish he'd just leave me alone completely instead of popping in and out of my life when he feels like it. Why is he even contacting me at all?"
He's contacti... (read in full...)
Two vulnerable people meeting on their second date...advice needed please!
Q. Hi cupids! id like some advice on dating please, i met a really nice guy 2 weeks ago, we hit it off right away, we definatly have chemistry! He is a little older than me (10 years older) but for saying that we have the same values , views e...
A. 7 June 2013: You've only known this guy for two weeks... and he's already told you about his past romantic travails?????
Hang on!!!!! Because this guy is going to prove to be a very weak-willed individual, who you will - ultimately - learn has EVERYBOD... (read in full...)
Rejection issues over sex
Q. I have been with my lady for about a year and half and have recently got engaged. She is perfect and I love her more than I could have imagined. There is a problem though, she enjoys sex but doesnt need it. I on the other hand feel like I am a...
A. 7 June 2013: There's a glaring mistake in your submittal, and it is this: "....I understand that this is my problem and not hers...." WRONG!!!!!
It is BOTH your problems.... AND, if you and she can't come to grips with it... and figure out some mutually... (read in full...)
I love flirting with this guy at work? Is it wrong? I am happily married and my husband works at the same place as me.
Q. I am a happily married female. I work in the same department as my husband. However I see him a couple of times throughout the day. He has his own group of friends and I have my group of friends. However I am starting to become very attracte...
A. 7 June 2013: You ask: " Is this wrong?"
Yes... it's wrong... and you, clearly, KNOW that it's wrong. IF you are on here trying to score validation for your behaviour.... then, perhaps, you will find one or more other Aunts or Uncles who will give you that... (read in full...)
How to bring back the "honeymoon phase" in an 8 year relationship?
Q. It's a cliche question, but I gotta ask it! I've been with my partner for 8 years now. First few years, very hot and heavy - we couldn't keep our hands off each other. You know, the honeymoon phase. I don't expect things to stay like they ...
A. 7 June 2013: You ask: "How do other people keep the sexual side of their relationship alive?..." (My answer).....
HOW do you keep the "hygiene" part of your relationship alive??? That is... how/when do you and he bathe, brush your teeth, get a haircut?... (read in full...)
I need some strategies, please, to deal with my sister. What can I do? She's become insufferable since she lost weight.
Q. I am 26, and this year to celebrate my Dad's 60th birthday we are going on a family holiday to Florida. This will include myself, my parents and my two sisters. I generally get on well with my sisters, but one of them has recently become ...
A. 7 June 2013: My suggested strategy is this:
During the trip..... open your mouth ONLY to put food or drink in to it.... Otherwise, keep it closed.....
Good luck... and welcome to Florida!!!... (read in full...)
He's fathered a New baby, with his new younger wife. So why did he have to show me a photo of the baby?
Q. hi aunts and uncles, its me the older woman dumped for the 24 year old girl who got pregnat by the ex.... im over him, still care about him but have finally come to terms. i went to meet up with him for the alimony payment the other day and what ...
A. 7 June 2013: I thiink you are understandably upset with what happened.
I also think that you should recognize this as one of the crosses you're going to have to bear, in this life, and not think too much (or, ANY MORE) about it.
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant. My boyfriend wants me to get an abortion, but I don't feel its right. What should I do?
Q. We are not at a financial state to have a baby. We have no money. We are both students. But the more I think about having an abortion, the harder it becomes. I already feel an emotional attachment to my baby, but my boyfriend doesn't understand ...
A. 7 June 2013: IF he "wants" you to have an abortion... and IF that is opposity your desires... THEN, it's clear that he doesn't give a damn about YOUR feelings in the matter... and you need to reconcile that your's - and only your - feelings are what ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will be leaving for his year abroad to study and I'm not sure how to cope being alone for a year. Should I break up with him?
Q. Hi there, I have been with my boyfriend for seven months after 'seeing' each other for a while beforehand. I really enjoy being with him and while it is soon, there are definitely feelings of love beginning to blossom. We have a very deep connec...
A. 7 June 2013: Yes.... break up with him... AND, stay in touch with one-another thorough the year that he is away.. AND, if there is any spark there, when he returns, you and he can decide, then, if you want to re-kindle things....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Can a relationship progress if you see each other only on weekends?
Q. We usually get together Friday evening, spend all day Saturday, and then I go home Sunday afternoon. He's a self-employed lawyer and has had a habit of going into the office Sunday afternoons to prepare for court Monday. (He goes to court Monday ...
A. 7 June 2013: WOW!!! I wish I'd met YOU those many years ago, when I wanted a woman who would do my bidding (s*x) when I wanted....and would leave me alone when I didn't want to have to accomodate her, otherwise......
Do you see just how he is playing you?????... (read in full...)
I want a more fulfilling relationship and girlfriend spends majority of her time with family and friends
Q. I am having a major problem with my girlfriend. I have a fear that the relationship might end, which I think is making me act a bit irrationally, which is only making it worse. I need a little constructive help... We've been together over 3 ...
A. 6 June 2013: Do you and she live at the same address????
From your submittal... I "see" a situation just BEGGING for the proverbial "time out." You and she ARE "communicating" but it sounds more as if you talk AT one-another rather than TO one-anot... (read in full...)
He's controlling. He says no more sex until I get a job. Is it wrong for him to give me ultimatums for not having a job?
Q. Ive been dating a older man for almost 3 years now. im 21 and he's 44. Get ready i could tell stories all day of all the s^^t iv'e been thru with and because him. I love him very much still but not as in love with him as i was before. im s...
A. 6 June 2013: Your submittal "reads" more like a dispute between a hooker and her John, rather than two adults who have some sort of "relationship" and some sort of "problem."
I suggest that the two of you go your separate ways, with THESE intentio... (read in full...)
How to help my boyfriend to grow up?
Q. My boyfriend is 29, I’m 26 and we’re been together for 2 years now and living together for 6 months. We have our disagreements and concerns or mostly I do, so recently I’ve talked with him about our life together and how he sees everything. He said ...
A. 6 June 2013: Ayda: You wrote: "...As he put it - right now he has to chose between being faithful to me and settle down or go around in a new search for something he doesn't know how will it end up..."
Don't you see how this is classic "guytalk?" What tha... (read in full...)
Why is he saying we are friends and acting another way and why go back on the moving in comment so quickly?
Q. I've been spending a lot of time with this guy lately. We met through work and actually slept together the second time a bunch of friends all went out as a group so there was obviously a big attraction on both parts from the start. After we started ...
A. 5 June 2013: I'm not as optimistic as the Chef.....
I think that this guy has learned how to play you... having YOU believe that YOU have control of the situation... whilest, clearly, you have NO control....
HE is dictating the direction that your "relat... (read in full...)
How to help my boyfriend to grow up?
Q. My boyfriend is 29, I’m 26 and we’re been together for 2 years now and living together for 6 months. We have our disagreements and concerns or mostly I do, so recently I’ve talked with him about our life together and how he sees everything. He said ...
A. 5 June 2013: That old, "I need time to......." (grow up, get a job, buy a new car, see a lunar eclipse... or, WHATEVER!!).... is such a lame excuse, that I'm surprised that you - or any other woman - would fall for it.....
As an expert translator of "guytalk... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells his friends and family everything...we have no privacy!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly a year. We are very happy but seem to disagree on matters of privacy in our relationship. For instance, when we first had sex, he told a lot of his friends. I didn't think much of that, and okayed that ...
A. 4 June 2013: Someone who would do what you describe is NOT REALLY a "man" at all. He is a "boy" who still remembers being in the schoolyard and bragging about his Mickey Mantle baseball card in order to curry adulation....... (These days, sex/intimacy with YOU ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells his friends and family everything...we have no privacy!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly a year. We are very happy but seem to disagree on matters of privacy in our relationship. For instance, when we first had sex, he told a lot of his friends. I didn't think much of that, and okayed that ...
A. 4 June 2013: Someone who would do what you describe is NOT REALLY a "man" at all. He is a "boy" who still remembers being in the schoolyard and bragging about his Mickey Mantle baseball card in order to curry adulation....... (These days, sex/intimacy with YOU ... (read in full...)
Please have dinner ready by 8:30 he asks me, but can't be bothered to let me know he'll be late?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 years asked me to cook dinner for him and his brother after his soccer game. Please have it ready by 8:30 he said. So off he goes. I had to race home from errands to have it done by then. 9 pm comes along and he finally calls to ...
A. 4 June 2013: I note that you added an "addendum" to your original submittal.... and it changes my reply in this manner:
Tardiness is IMPOLITE. For someone to be late, once or twice, it's OK to give them a "pass"...... For repeat/frequent tardines... (read in full...)
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