A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi.So I've been with my fiance for almost two years next month...(Cheated on him two weeks into our relationship)Anyway, I guess I'm finding him a bit boring and controlling these days... please note my partner has "Autistic tendencies"- He sleeps on weekends in the afternoon (though works monday to friday full time)- We never really go out, well we do but we stay local :/ and always seem to stay in on weekends and I say about going out but he doesn't want to.- even after two years he doesn't trust me, always says he hates me being out on my own on my days off cause he thinks i could be cheating...- I work casual, and I feel like he's pushing me to get a full time job.- he knows I'm on the pill but yet rubs my stomach saying "baby" .- he thinks when I get my license and a car I'm gonna go out every weekend and leave him at home.- he hasn't really saved much but yet says he wants to get a place with me.- He always says he's smarter then me!- he brings up the cheating and guys I used to be "involved with" even says stuff about my ex from three years ago and hasn't even met him!Lately I have been dreaming of the guy I cheated on him with, the guy has a unit (morgage) works away, yeah has 3 children to different woman, the kids dont have his last name and he doesn't pay any child support....at least I'd have freedom! :(someone help me out? :(
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female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (10 June 2013):
 You've shown that you have a very unhealthy model for picking relationships, and that you can't be trusted to be in a monogamous relationship at this point in your life. You don't pick men that are suitable as partners for your level of emotional maturity.I think right now, the best option for you would be to be SINGLE. As in, break up with your current boyfriend, get a full-time job, and don't see ANYONE until you get your head on straight.Cheating isn't cool, and neither is getting involved with a man with so much baby-mama-drama. You have your own baggage, you don't need to get into a relationship with someone who has so much of his own baggage, you're just ASKING for serious problems in the future if you do.You have a lot of maturing to go. Get yourself into school and don't date anyone for at least the next year or two. You can't be trusted to be monogamous or honest, right now no one deserves to be saddled with someone who cheats.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your help.I do work yes, but can never do things on my own unless my partners guy friend is down...I want my partner but want freedom too, but then I think if I got with the guy who works away, I'd have that...I dunno...Oh and to add, even if the guy wanted to get me knocked up, he couldn't as I have the rod in my arm for three years :)My friend who says my partner is controlling, says I should just go and talk to the guy and suss him out.....I mean he could of changed in two years.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 June 2013):
 Cripes!!! You describe a "non-relationship" that you want us to encourage you to part from (YES, get away from this guy)..... BUT, then you tell us you want to get with this "dream" guy who has children by 3 different women!!!... the kids don't even use his last name (some "Father").... AND, he doesn't pay child support (some "Father" again!).....
Are you a glutton for punishment????? Are there NO other men who live anywhere near you???? Could you not "picture" yourself living/staying by yourself until you "find" a guy what is marginally civilized????
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (9 June 2013):
 It hard to find the right match. I myself slept alot when working alot. You work hard you play hard. I have issues with trust of people not cheating cause I know grown adults will do what they want when they want. When I was bored I went out to find excitement and had a great time. So understand when people arent satisfied man or women they will look else where thats life. Its too many people in the world not to be enjoying life head to the laundry mat its a old figure of speech. Find something you want and desire not dull boring unsatisfying ect. I have been where you are it sucks one person happy in relationship and the other not. You deserve to be happy I cant say if its with the other guy you know that yourself. I can tell you one thing you only live once so have no regrets of what if too worry about at times be like nike just do it. Check
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 June 2013):
 There's only one thing you can do at this point, and that's to stop wasting your boyfriend's time and leave him.
Truthfully? It actually does sound like your boyfriend's made smarter decisions than you. You can't call him controlling if you're the one who destroyed his trust by cheating on him.
You criticize his lack of money, yet you won't work independently and full time to support yourself and have no place of your own.
You get upset that he rubs your belly, suggesting he wants a kid with you, but then you fantasize about the deadbeat dad who is knocking up women and abandoning them financially and personally?
You think you'd have freedom with deadbeat dad? No way. He'll ruin your life, make you a mom, and then be off down the road. He works, but if his kids starve to death, he'd rather feed his own face and find another fool penis holder to go impregnate and abandon. And you want to volunteer.
Yeah, does that sound smart to you? Your current boyfriend's only problem is that he's comfortable and has gotten a bit boring. I know which choice in guys I'd make, and it wouldn't be Mister Sperm Donor.
You should stop wasting your boyfriend's time, and your own time. Grow up some, finish school if you're in it, get work, and don't wait for any man to give you adventure.
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