Fiance wanted a break, he's talking to another woman about but isn't trying to fix things. What does he want?
Q. Hi, I wonder if anyone can help - five weeks ago my fiance and partner of three years, who I lived with along with his little girl, told me that he was unsure of his feelings for me and we should have a break. I was devastated - we only got eng...
A. 22 June 2013: Here's the key phrase in your submittal:
"....and we spent the night together which obviously proves there is still attraction between us...."
Spending the night together proves, only, that you are agreeing to be intimate with this guy, and he... (read in full...)
Am I using him? Am I worthless?
Q. I want to know if I am out of line. My husband and I have been married for 6 years now he has three kids and I have three . We only have four of the kids living with us because his two older children are adults. I work four months of t...
A. 21 June 2013: If this question has just arisen now.... after 6 years.... then there is something else behind it. You need to learn just what that is.....
I think "Euphoric29" (her answer) is on to something... Find out...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Should we start sleeping in separate beds till he get a new job?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 4 years has been waiting for his promotion for 2 years and he didnt get it this year too, even though his juniors got it. He was so disappointed, planning to quit his job and try job in a new company. I support his decision. ...
A. 21 June 2013: WHAT is the connection between: ...you and him and where you sleep? ... his job and your's and his intimate life?...
This boyfriend of your's sounds very childish, to me.... and, if that is representative of how has has, or will, handle adversit... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants a threesome. How do I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and have a great, caring, passionate relationship together. We often go out on a date night, go to our friends parties, etc together. Although neither of us are eachother's first long-term relati...
A. 21 June 2013: Here's a thorough script for exactly how you can handle this. You sit him down, and say,
"Listen, hunchy-bunchy, I know you said you'd like to have a threesome..... I, on the other hand, have no interest in a threesome (regardless of the line-up.... (read in full...)
Should I give this relationship more time or just walk away now?
Q. Should I give this relationship more time or just walk away now? I am 31, a single parent, rent a house of my own and work 5 days a week. My bf is 29, lives with his parents and works part time. We been dating for almost 2 years. Things started ...
A. 21 June 2013: "Sounds" to me like he isn't exhibiting much interest in you or a close, warm, loving and more-encompassing relationship with you..... Soooo, I'd suggest that you bail out, now...
P.S. Are the two of you intimate? If "yes," that THAT should c... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't make me cum so I took care of myself but he woke up and caught me and is angry!
Q. Hello aunts and uncles Bf and me have an ok sex life... he gets it anytime he wants, but since he works so many hours I do not initiate(I pounce on his days off) and let him rest during the work days. i never cum unless I touch myself, but h...
A. 21 June 2013: "Sounds" to me like your "boyfriend" is a pretty lousy lover.... and you have decided that you will take matters in to your own hands, from where he leaves off. (Pun, intended!!!)....
As well, his learning of your masturbation, and reacting... (read in full...)
I know it's unhealthy to hate someone, but I just hope my ex dies. How can I get rid of this?
Q. My ex dumped me with no reason two months ago. He's my first. He cheated on me twice and I still forgave him. We were together for 4 years and the last two years were long distance. We were serious. He talked about getting married and having kids. A ...
A. 20 June 2013: Probably the easiest way to "get rid of this"... is to constantly remind yourself that HATRED feeds on itself, and displaces other - more positive - brain activities... and so YOU ARE SCREWING YOURSELF out of useful/helpful/ beneficial thoughts and ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he want me as a woman ever?
Q. I have been married for over 31 years. When the children got older in high school my husband cut loving way down. really way down. 4 times a year- then we went to nothing. we do not kiss at all-peck once awhile. no embracing. no loving fo...
A. 20 June 2013: 2 decades without any "romance" has got to be considered "extreme."
The only question I see in your submittal is: Has anything changed - for and in YOU - such that this diminishing romance/sensuality is now affecting you differently than it ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to a webcam girl?
Q. Hi all, I'm a 26 yr old male virgin. I saw this girl on one of her online webcam shows and found out she's a flight attendant flying into my city. She made a proposition that she will offer sex for money. I am a virgin and want to know what sex fe...
A. 20 June 2013: Don't be stupid...... There are oodles of girls "out there" who are fun, smart, enjoyable... AND sexy... who don't resort to prostitution (in WHATEVER form!) in order to separate a guy from his money.....
Be patient.... continue to masturba... (read in full...)
Help!! Who do I choose? The one who makes me his world or the one who gives me goosebumps?
Q. I have to choose between two men. #1 is kind, loving, considerate, caring, sweet, faithful, would do anything for me and makes me the centre of his universe. BUT he is boring, predictable there is no chemistry or spark between us and the sex is d...
A. 20 June 2013: Why can't you have both?
... (read in full...)
How can I trust my husband when he texts a girl from an escort service all night?
Q. Dear readers, I find myself here again and I have only been married a month. I wass here to weeks ago. Because my husband joined a sex site and still denies it. But know I am here because my husband has been out of town for the week and I looked a...
A. 19 June 2013: Your man sure has a way with words.....
Meanwhile, the only words that YOU will need are: "You know, (his name here), I wasn't born just this last month... and I am NOT going to put up with your B/S for even ONE MORE DAY... All we need to do "t... (read in full...)
Should I go back to my old job? I worry that the store manager does not like me and I suffer social anxiety. Or should I look for something else?
Q. For 3 summers I have worked at a retail store, and then leave when I go back to college for the year. When I work there, I always feel very unconfident because I worry that the store manager doesn't like me, and I always feel like I am under su...
A. 19 June 2013: You've spent three summers at this job.... and you think that the "higher ups" do not/may not like you???? How inconsistent it THAT??? If they didn't like you - or didn't think you were doing a good job - how dumb would they have had to be to keep ... (read in full...)
Is marriage the right thing for me to do?
Q. I just want to share my story and I would Love your opinions. it was about 8 or 9 months ago I was walking into church for a revival when I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. He was well dressed, the cutest smile with pe...
A. 19 June 2013: I believe in "love at first sight"..... so I wouldn't pass judgement upon your story as to "rightness or wrongness"...
What you now have is an opportunity to take the time to see if YOUR "love at first sight" is real, genuine and stands the test... (read in full...)
Friend has given me an ultimatium--either be his girlfriend or we no longer talk
Q. I'm really close to my friend who told me he wanted to be more than friends about a year ago. Initially I said I didn't feel the same way and we tried to carry on as we had been before, talking everyday but I was seeing other people. Since then ...
A. 18 June 2013: Don'tcha' just LOVE ultimatums???? The person posing the ultimatum believes that THEY have control of the situation.... and truly believe that their ultimatum will work (out) as they expect.... BUT, the moment that YOU SAY, "O.K. ... I'll live by ... (read in full...)
Is he still into his ex?
Q. Hi and thanks My bf and I have been together for about a yr. Its been a roller coaster at times. Hes got different rules for him and I. Don't text men don't email men but he texts his ex and hangs out with her. He swears hes over her but I get we...
A. 18 June 2013: No... you are NOT over-reacting. IF you "current" guy-friend chooses to be inappropriately-close to his ex-... then he is sending you a VERY CLEAR message... that SHE still has a tag on his heart... and YOU will have continue on trying to figure ... (read in full...)
My LDR of over two years just stopped talking to me
Q. My long distance boyfriend for 2 1/2 years stopped talking to me just like that. We had such a good relationship and love each other so much. He live in different state which is about 3000 miles from me but we see each other every other month. We ...
A. 18 June 2013: STOP, STOP, STOP!!!!! taking calls from phone number(s) that you KNOW are his... AND from any phone number which isn't identified.....
You have GOT to understand that this creep is trying his darndest to stay in your head.... and EACH and EVERY ti... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to look at glamour models?
Q. Is it wrong to look at glamour models? Hi guys, I am a 23 year old male, who likes to look at girls on websites such as zoo and nuts Is it wrong because I do it everyday? I try to stop it but its like having an addiction and to be honest I'm inter...
A. 18 June 2013: To quote the (modified) famous words of Gladys Knight:
"If looking at glamourous models is wrong; I don't want to be right"!!!!!... (read in full...)
What are your opinions when it comes to friends having surgery
Q. If someone say an ex girlfriend, someone you're friends with, or know really well got a nose job what would you think of them? Taking into consideration that their nose was bumpy, hooked and too big for their face... Would you think any differ...
A. 18 June 2013: I think such surgeries should get no more/no less discussion.... should have no more impact on a friendship/ relationship than if someone chose to dye their hair a different color, got a tattoo, or had a "loud" color of nailpolish applied following ... (read in full...)
To move or not to move?
Q. I yet again turn to you dear agony aunties and uncles. I am a 33 year old women who lives at home with her parents. My family has certain rules that I have to follow, they are not comfortable with me coming home late (my mother basically stays ...
A. 18 June 2013: I "see" only ONE "problem", or, "question" in your entire submittal.... and it leads me to my recommendation. It's this:
"...and sleeping over at my boyfriend's place is unacceptable."
That (item) goes over the top FROM "my house; my rules" TO... (read in full...)
His ex is back -- should I even try to compete with her?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and before we were together he was with his ex girlfriend for 7 years, she broke his heart. When he started dating me, she said all kinds of really nasty things about my appearance, and that he could do...
A. 18 June 2013: This (below) is an excerpt from a reply that I made to a poster, recently. It seems appropriate to repeat, here.
I'll never understand how and why two (or more) women would argue, maneuver, agree/disagree and, basically, wrap their lives around s... (read in full...)
Why is she interested in sex less often now?
Q. Back again for more insight. Since my last question, things have fallen into place and going well. The new issue that has arisen is, she seems to never get horny or want to have sex very often. We didn't have sex "all the time" when we first started ...
A. 18 June 2013: I have a strong point-of-view about sex.... and frequency.
Take your last paragraph: "I know that for women, they like sex to be a surprise, to just happen and not be planned. I have a tendency to say what's on my mind a little too often, a... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on my girlfriend because she's overweight?
Q. Should i cheat on my GF? I know its wrong and everything, but i have been talking to this girl lately and i feel i have a connection with her, like its crazy how similar we are. Im not 100% sexually attracted to my current gf, she is over weight, ...
A. 17 June 2013: Woof, arf bark woof woof arg grrrrr.....
I'm sure you can interpret that........ (read in full...)
Do I really need all this Baby Mama drama? What can I do about this situation?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. I'm in a baby mama drama situation, and I'm not sure how to handle it... Please help. I'll give some background... He and the mother of his child were never married. Their relationship was r...
A. 17 June 2013: I'll never understand how and why two (or more) women would argue, maneuver, agree/disagree and, basically, wrap their lives around some "man" who they both (or, all) claim to love and cherish and want to spend time with him... whilest, all the ... (read in full...)
My LDR of over two years just stopped talking to me
Q. My long distance boyfriend for 2 1/2 years stopped talking to me just like that. We had such a good relationship and love each other so much. He live in different state which is about 3000 miles from me but we see each other every other month. We ...
A. 17 June 2013: OF COURSE you don't reply. That's HIS way of keeping some/any communications open, with you... and, thereby, KNOWING that you haven't really "forgotten" him....
Be strong....... (read in full...)
What is love really meant to feel like?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 6 months. This is my first relationship and basically I had no experience prior. In the first few weeks I felt like I was in love, but I thought that it was probably an infatuation and because she's my ...
A. 17 June 2013: "Love" is not (just) a verbal exchange. Heck, you can get two voice-activated tape recorders to tell each other "I love you..."
REAL love goes real deep... it transcends your senses... the sight, sound, smell, taste, feel of your love are obvi... (read in full...)
Curious about my wife's sexual past
Q. My wife and I have been together 9 years, and had the whole "how many people have you ******" conversation many years ago. Ever since then, I, like many husbands, still wonder "is that her real number, or is she holding some back?" The history she ...
A. 17 June 2013: You write: "Either way, it won't affect my opinion of her. And it's not like I'm racked with jealousy or contempt. Just a little curious. I'd love to hear some opinions on this."
First, I think you are deluding yourself that what you are question... (read in full...)
Why would he ask me to be room mates and take trips with him if hes not single?
Q. So I have this friend named Ted, who I have gotten close with since December 2012. I used to like his friend, James, who I was pursuing a relationship with until I found out James was just playing games with me. Ted and I became friends when he was ...
A. 17 June 2013: How much clearer could this be???? Ted knows that James tried to "play games" with you, but failed..... so now HE's going to try to play games with you....
You saw it in James and dumped him... now, do the same with Ted. The games may not be j... (read in full...)
I can't take the way my mother treats me, what should I do?
Q. sorry this is a bit long... I can't believe at my age I still get hurt from the way my own mother treats me. I am not holding any grudges towards her and I am not talking about the past, no, I am talking about the present. It surprises me that...
A. 17 June 2013: I'll focus on this segment, from the end of your submittal:
"I can't take the way my mother treats me anymore, what should I do? She is not happy and I feel she does not want me to be happy either. Any idea how can I cope with this situatio... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or was it just the drink making him be like this
Q. Hi, I am confused over the actions of my date the other night. It was a first date and we went to a baseball game together, he initially seemed very sweet, smart, good conversationalist. We went to several bars after the game where we contined...
A. 17 June 2013: He's a creep.... who gets his courage from a bottle of alcohol.... Don't bother seeing him again....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I feel like life is dealing me a bad hand and can't see a way out. Please help
Q. I'm feeling like such a failure in life. The last time I felt truly happy was 8 years ago and I've been dragging on ever since. I graduated highschool early at 16 and back then I saw a bright future. My grades were good and I'd received acceptance ...
A. 17 June 2013: You "sound" like a smart, resourceful and dedicated woman who has taken on (or, has had thrust upon her!) 'way more than anyone should have to endure.... AND, now, you're recognizing the muddle of it all and asking "What's in this for me?"
That'... (read in full...)
Am I really over her so soon?
Q. My gf broke up with me over two days ago. . .yet I think im already over it. We were together for over a year and we sure did have our fair share of problem. I did like her alot. . .even potentially could love her. Somehow though, somewhere along ...
A. 17 June 2013: I think your submittal makes it clear that you were never really "IN" to her.... so it's not surprising that you were able to "get over her" rather quickly when she pulled the trigger and told you that the two of you needed to go your separate ... (read in full...)
HELP! How do I tell my flatmate she rude, without being rude myself???
Q. Moved into a great new place 3 weeks ago. My new flatmate is a 45yr old Russian and I am 25yr old British, so I appreciate that perhaps there could be a cultural thing with the difference of how things are said/done in our different countries. ...
A. 17 June 2013: Howizzit???... that you ended up as flatmate to this woman with whom you seem to have both nothing in-common, and constant angst?????
That said.... It certainly sounds like the two of you can never be flatmates..... so, I suggest, look for the ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me even though he cheated, got another woman pregnant and plan to marry her
Q. I've been seeing this guy since march 2012. I was 20 and he was 33. He's from south america and was doing his masters. It was his last year here and after he's done with the masters he was supposed to leave. So we started this knowing we don't ...
A. 17 June 2013: WHY would you even CONSIDER anything EXCEPT walking away from this cad?????.... and NEVER... EVER .... looking back???? Anything else will "prove" to you that you STILL haven't grown up to the point that you won't just be a little, soft, warm penis ... (read in full...)
My Dad refuses to be around my boyfriend
Q. I'm going to my cousin's 30th birthday party next week, but I can't take my boyfriend with me, as my dad is going to the party too, and he doesn't want to be around my boyfriend. My boyfriend used some bad language when he came to my dad's birthday ...
A. 17 June 2013: Sounds to me like you have TWO extremes.... Your B/F is inclined to unacceptable public language.... and your Dad's reaction to his foul language is to bang his head against windows....
How about.... you take your B/F aside and say to him: "y... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and Sex doesn't turn me on like it should.
Q. As the title says, Im having a problem. Ive been in a relashionship for a while now and I just dont seem to crave my boyfriend. He does everything for my attention, he's gentle with me, loving. But sex for me doesnt seem to be like I expect it...
A. 15 June 2013: Go up to the submittal just above your's.... You may take advantage of my expertise for the very same offer....
Sort of like "BOGO" (buy one, get one free!!!)...
... (read in full...)
Sex is different with my wife after our brief seperation
Q. After a short seperation my wife and I recently got back together again. we've been marrried 30 years. I've was worried she made have had an affair while we were seperated. after having sex with her for the first time in over a year I thought she ...
A. 15 June 2013: If she's agreed to get back together and see if you and she can reconstitute your marriage... count your blessings and forget that you made this submittal.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't put in any effort in our marriage and it's taking it's toll on me
Q. I don't know what to do. The situation with me and my husband that I am taking care of absolutely everything regarding our lives. We have business, that I run. All the paperwork, all customer relations, accounting, everything's my responsibility. ...
A. 15 June 2013: Let me offer a "Reader's Digest" version of the submittal that I just read:
"I don't know what to do. My husband is a child... has been for as long as we've been married.... and I've allowed it... (and)...I just become this constantly frustrat... (read in full...)
We are so great together, except that his son doesn't accept the relationship
Q. I am a 36 years old female and seeing a man 58. We started this semi-affair 5 years ago. He ended things abruptly about 2 years in saying one of his five sons felt really uncomfortable with it. (the middle of the 5 and only one who doesnt live on ...
A. 15 June 2013: You are 36 Y.O..... are enamoured of a man age 58... and his 27 Y.O. son (who lives with "Daddy") is putting the kibosh on your's and his being together?.... seeing one-another?????
I see a doting "Father".... who has a son who hasn't (and has... (read in full...)
We want kids, but I'm terrified of pregnancy
Q. My partner and I are in our late twenties and our relationship is perfect except one thing .. the absence of a child. We both desperately want to start a family, he wants nothing more to be a father and we would start trying immediately if i...
A. 15 June 2013: If you're too chicken to start and carry a child... then reconcile that to yourself - and your boyfriend/prospective husband/father - and go on with your life... childless and regretting that you never had the guts to do what you really wanted (to ... (read in full...)
Do we try for closure and go our seperate ways?
Q. Hello Everyone, Hope everyone is well? So a couple of weeks ago I asked for some advice. {Moderator note: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-accept-i-cant-be-with.html} The responses I got were nice... really nice. I decided to act up...
A. 15 June 2013: What you've really described is two people who - individually - have screwed up lives... and who - paired-up - have FOUR TIMES as much screwed up lives.
WHY would you want to consider resurrecting/restarting such a pathetic and doomed-t... (read in full...)
My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 15 June 2013: This makes me recall.... back to that incident when my (now) ex-wife caught me in bed with my old H.S. sweetheart. I told her: "Honest, Honey, I was just cleaning my penis and it went off....."
(She didn't buy it!!!!.....)... (read in full...)
My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 14 June 2013: Of COURSE he SAID cheating was pointless... because it WAS (pointless) until he got a chance to bed your "best friend." Funny, isn't it, how the game changes when the circumstances make it possible for a guy to dip his peeny in to a cute/warm/soft ... (read in full...)
My LDR of over two years just stopped talking to me
Q. My long distance boyfriend for 2 1/2 years stopped talking to me just like that. We had such a good relationship and love each other so much. He live in different state which is about 3000 miles from me but we see each other every other month. We ...
A. 14 June 2013: It "sounds" like he's lost interest in you... so, YES, give up and get on with your life...
Good luck...... (read in full...)
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