A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend rarely looks me in the eyes when we speak. I find this to be really upsetting. I mean I have literally taken to having to ask him to look at me. I am not talking about when he is under a hood of a car or doing dishes but when we are sitting together talking or he walks by me on his way out the door.Things have not been good between us for a long time. I think it means something that he rarely looks at me, he says no. But I have seen him stare at other women. It is like he never gives me his full attention. I recently lost my job and we are having domestic issues about his children living with us.I have suggested counseling, I have tried to be super sweet. Nothing. I think it is over but he won't say, just treats me like this. Says he loves me all the time though.Is he screwing with my head or just ambivalent? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2013): I think aside from your financial contribution to the household; he may have no further use for you. That sounds harsh; but that is the picture you have presented with your post.
Not looking at you is a very strange concern.
Fighting about his children living with you isn't doing yourself any favors; if you're now out of work.
People don't appreciate what they have until it's gone.
Ever consider leaving him?
Do you keep up your appearance? Do you fix your hair?
Did you just let yourself go. Women hate to hear these things, but it is a reality. Your self-esteem is often reflected in your upkeep and appearance.
Men stare at other women, because they look nice. Their hair, the way their clothes flatter their bodies, the air of confidence they carry; also makes them attractive.
If you've let yourself go. You just let the years go by, and you never change or embrace who you are. You fall into a rut, and men are the first to lose interest. Men are visual creatures and appearance draws our attention; and keeps men sexually attracted to you.
Don't forget that little things like a little makeup,
a pretty outfit, a nice hairdo will make men take notice. It makes you feel better about yourself too. It boosts your self-esteem. Maybe you need to get other men to notice you and he'll suddenly take notice.
Now I'm not letting him off the hook. I'm not blaming you for his coldness and indifference.
Exactly what's so great about this guy?
Stay only as long as it takes for you to find yourself a new job. Start saving your money, and find yourself an apartment. You are a mature woman; so live out your years with dignity and without that old creep.
Stop begging for attention. Reach out to your family and friends and start socializing on your own.
Once you find a new job, maybe it's time to get out and get your own apartment. Just settling for a useless man just to have one, doesn't make any sense. You may as well be alone and get a lady's sex toy. Date younger men.
If it's your house you're all living in, you can kick them all out, and find a housemate or a boarder. No more domestic issues. Get more mirrors, and look at yourself happy.
Otherwise; live quietly in misery.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 June 2013):
 "Sounds" to me like YOU are working uber-hard at a "relationship" that doesn't exist....
IF/when someone doesn't look in to the eyes of their partner (never MIND, looking at someone/anyone ELSE you may be speaking with...) it's a red flag that there is SOMETHING not quite right about what's up between the two of you....
I'd suggest that you and he part ways for a few weeks/months/years/forevers.... until you and he decide if there really IS "anything" going on between the two of you... (I suspect that YOU are the only one "in this relationship"!!!!)....
Good luck...
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