A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 26, and this year to celebrate my Dad's 60th birthday we are going on a family holiday to Florida. This will include myself, my parents and my two sisters. I generally get on well with my sisters, but one of them has recently become a bit of a nightmare due to her recent weight loss. She always used to be between a UK 12-14, but in the last 6 months she has gone on the paleo diet (well in her case meat, salad and vegetables only) and has gone down to a UK size 10. I was thrilled for her when she lost the weight because this has always been a battle for her, but she has become very smug and self important since she got thinner and I'm finding it more and more difficult to deal with.First of all, she thinks she looks much better than myself and my other sister now and is forever making comments to suggest this. I would never dream of criticising her appearance either before or now, but she seems to think it's ok for her to make out that we are not in perfect shape (well who is?!). Plus, she always has something to say about what we are eating and how we are killing ourselves by eating bread or potatoes or whatever (FYI I have toast or cereal for breakfast and the occasional baked potato or pasta dish now and then. I'm a UK 10 and am in excellent health. I am not putting my health at any risk with my diet. Just in case people think she is saying this because she is concerned). I have been biting my tongue and ignoring her so far, but on this holiday I will be in a villa with her for 14 straight days and there is going to end up being an argument if she continues making comments like these. She has also already started making demands about us finding suitable restaurants while we are over there, so standard chain food places won't do. I have never been, but I don't imagine there will be lots of paleo only natural restaurants in the middle of Disney World? So this is likely to be an issue too if she is trying to dictate where we can eat and not compromising at all.I have tried telling her to stop commenting on my food/weight since it is my business only, but it has no effect. So I need some other strategies to try. We have spent a lot of money on this holiday and I want to enjoy it with as little drama as possible. Thanks everyone.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 June 2013):
 she will be able to get grilled chicken on salad at any place in the nation... even fast food. tell her to chill. I'm betting she's concerned that being on holiday will "tempt her" and if she "cheats" you will rag on her. As much as I would be tempted myself to be snarky to her... she's chuffed at her behavior and you can't blame her... she's excited so she WANTS everyone to be happy like she is, not realizing that what works for her may not work for everyone.
You can get grilled chicken on salad ANYWHERE even McDonalds, Burger King or Wendy's. Even SUBWAY will make ANYTHING a salad.... you just ask and it's done.
So no need to fret about finding food... it's available. Try to go outside of the park to eat if you can... it's very expensive in the park.
As for how to deal with her... smile and say "thank you for your concern I will take it under advisement after we get home, for now I'd like to enjoy our holiday with dad"
and EVERY time she says something about your food you say that.
To be honest, if you have toast or cereal for breakfast without protein, you could be setting yourself up to be hungry later on... I always go protein heavy on all my meals... in fact my daily breakfast is a protein shake.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): She sounds a lot like my sister. My sister used to be a U.S. size 14, and gradually went down to a size 8. I was a size 2 a few years back, and guess who made a comment when I went up to a 4? She felt the need to point out to me that I'd picked up a little bit of weight, as if I wasn't already aware. I defended myself by telling her it was normal to gain some weight in your early 20s, which it is. A woman in her 20s is NOT going to be shaped the same as a girl in her teens. She took it a step further by trying to give me a size 12 pair of pants, saying I would "grow into them soon enough". You can imagine how much that irritated me. I came to the conclusion she was doing this because she was jealous. She had to work to be smaller whereas I didn't. This is probably also the case with your sister. Sure, she may think she looks better now than before, but the fact she says she looks better than you tells me she's jealous you're a size 10 without having to work for it. She secretly hopes you'll gain weight so she can be thinner than you. I don't know as there's much you can say to get her to stop. Jealousy is like that. Whenever she gets a rise out of you, it empowers her, and makes her feel better for a second. I would just ignore her, and continue eating what you like. As you've stated, you are in excellent health, so there is no need for you to change your diet to suit her. The way I see it, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 June 2013):
 My suggested strategy is this:
During the trip..... open your mouth ONLY to put food or drink in to it.... Otherwise, keep it closed.....
Good luck... and welcome to Florida!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): You don't mention your sister's age; so I suppose she is a younger sister. Let me explain what is going on in her head. She had serious self-image issues and hated her body. She was not as well-adjusted and comfortable with who she is, as you and the rest of the family. She let the opinions of other people and the media get to her. It took a lot of self-discipline and will-power for her. So she is smitten with self-accomplishment and obnoxiously happy that she reached a goal that she may once have felt was impossible. This will pass.It is better than seeing her miserable and self-loathing. I hope.As sisters go, they know how to push your buttons. She is reveling in the fact she can boast about her weight for the first time in her life. She may have envied you in some way, and rubbing your nose in it gives her a little thrill.Especially if annoyance shows in your face. Regardless of your phony act of being happy for her. She knows you, and you can't fool her.She is over-come with joy, and doesn't know how to handle it; because she has never made such a big accomplishment. Of course she is going to criticize everyone else; if they put all her past temptations in her face, after such a long and difficult struggle. Food was her addiction, in her mind.People who overcome difficult struggles with self-esteem and building their confidence, have a period of being boastful and maybe a little conceited. It takes time to master those feelings of relief and new-found pride. If it's something that has eluded you for most of your life.Celebration is their self-reward for a victory accomplished; and they do become a little smug and self-righteous. It's human nature. We have to humor them. As her sister, you can reassure her that you are proud of her accomplishment; but you're going to give her a "fat" lip, if she doesn't get a grip. This should be said with humor and adoration. Look through the eyes of love, not the green-eyed monster. Has she ever been so happy?Just reassure her and control your jealousy. Compliment her and she'll stop fishing for compliments. It may be tough on your personal ego; but you aren't struggling with your self-image.Or are you? Eating healthy should be practiced by the entire family. Not necessarily according to your sister's diet plan; but for the sake of proper nutrition and health. Being over-weight is a big problem in the U.S.; but a lot of people, and the food industry, are taking notice and doing something about it. It is becoming a national effort to teach children proper nutrition, and adults are electing healthier eating habits and exercise. We want to get rid of the fat-American image. We're getting healthier and healthier. Look out world!You will find that the restaurant menus at Disney World are health-conscious and quite nutritious. There will be the fat and sugar that we all adore as well. There are restaurants catering to every taste and culture. They are being pressured; because they are feeding children from around the world; and their menus reflect on American food-culture across the globe.Sisters will get on your nerves for one reason or another; but; because that's why they were born. I have sisters, and I'm speaking from experience. They all deserve a smack.I've lost 3 of them. I miss them terribly.Please be happy for her. Some young women have eating disorders, suffer from morbid obesity, strung out on drugs,have unwanted pregnancies, abusive husbands or boyfriends, suffer from serious mental disorders, or they're criminals.In my case, two died from cancer; and one from a blood clot to the brain. She was perfectly healthy otherwise. I'd give anything to hear anyone of them brag about their weight.Be glad bragging is all you have to deal with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): I know you're question is about how to deal with her comments, but being a personal trainer I can't help but point out something: A Healthy, balanced diet would mean carbs (including veg and fruit as these come under this category) should take up 60% of your intake of food, as your body relies on carbs as the most effective and safe source of energy. By limiting her carb intake SHE is putting her health at risk. Potatoes are a perfectly healthy source of energy. Her Diet is not a good one, she is missing out on a lot of nutrients, and her body wont be working as efficiently as it should, as she will be getting most of her energy from protein, which isn't great and too much protein can be extremely damaging to your kidneys. The 'science' behind her diet is widely discredited by doctors & specialists in the field.
The NHS has all she needs to know about what an actual healthy diet is:
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/Healthyeating.aspx
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (7 June 2013):
 Shut her down point blank every time she talks about it. Be firm and look her in the eye, "I'm not going to discuss my diet with you, it's none of your business."
Be consistent. Don't lose your temper, if she continues, just get up and walk away. Eventually if she's smart, she'll get it.
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