A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I made a huge mistake. The biggest mistake of my life actually and i'm not really sure how to move on from it all. I ended up getting involved with somebody who had a girlfriend, now fiancée apparently. We were both single when it started and it was mostly physical but naturally there were feelings there on my part. It was ok for a while but then he ended up getting back together when some ex girlfriend. He didn't tell me straight away but i asked him and eventually he admitted it.I was a bit hurt but he told me he still wanted to stay friends so i agreed to that. Well, that didn't happen and a few months later he started sending flirty text messages and teasing me. I didn't really take it too seriously at the time because he flirts with everyone and when he asked to meet up i didn't think anything would happen.We met up and one thing led to another. We ended up sleeping together. This happened 3 more times before i told him i couldn't do it anymore. Luckily we don't live near each other so i wasn't worried about seeing him in person but he contacted me on Facebook asking to meet up "as friends" which i declined. 6 or 7 months went by and neither of us spoke or contacted each other so i thought that that was it but Christmas day came around and he text me at 5am wishing me a merry Christmas. I did respond but i didn't say much.He then text me again on new years eve saying he hoped he'd get to see me this year. I just replied "happy new year" and didn't say anything else. 2 months later and get another text asking to meet for a drink. I ignored that one and hoped he'd realise that us meeting or talking wasn't a good idea but the following month i got some silly text saying "cheer up :)" I only recently found out that he's getting married because a mutual friend told us. Not once has he mentioned it. I don't want to sound bitter or pathetic but i can't get past feeling angry. I have no intention of seeing him or speaking to him ever again but i wish he'd just leave me alone completely instead of popping in and out of my life when he feels like it. Why is he even contacting me at all?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 June 2013):
 Keep up with the no contact. He'll get the message sooner or later.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): This is the OP. The last time he contacted me was April, do you think he's got the message that i'm not interested? I mean, i ignored him when he asked me to meet for a drink but then he text me in April with some silly message saying "have a nice day" and that he thought he'd just send me a nice message. I didn't say anything back.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): Yes he keeps you as a back up. You gave him attention that he normally wasn't getting. This sounds so similar to a situation I went through almost two years ago. But I was the fiance. If you have to change your phone number. Block him on facebook and eventually he well take the hint and leave you alone. I feel bad foe everyone in the mess specially the fiance. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): You were probably his safety net and now that he sees you've moved on and your better then him. He's jealous but don't give In you seem like a strong person and you are right not to see him again. Ask him to leave you alone or change your number. You've got this!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 June 2013):
 You write: "...I have no intention of seeing him or speaking to him ever again but i wish he'd just leave me alone completely instead of popping in and out of my life when he feels like it. Why is he even contacting me at all?"
He's contacting you because YOU RESPOND to him... For us guys, THAT means that there's still enough of a spark of interest that we might get you back in to bed, again...
YOU need to live by your first phrase "...I have no intention of seeing him or speaking to him ever again..."
IF, and ONLY IF, you actually live up to THAT can you ever hope to put this cad behind you..... and move on in your (own) life....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (9 June 2013):
 In the past, you've been willing to give him attention, affection and sex regardless of the fact that he's taken. That's why he's contacting you, because it feeds his ego and his desire to have a "thing on the side".
I'm the type of girl that would block him outright, on my phone and facebook and email, and do my best to move onto another guy that was single. He can't contact you if you block him, and there's no need to be a masochist and continue talking to him. It'll just delay you getting over him completely.
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