Are we just numb from everything that has happened? Or have we lost our spark?
Q. Hi, I have been with a truly lovely man for 4 years and we were that couple that were so into each other, laughing together and holding hands all the time, absolute best friends. The last 2 years has been a very difficult time for both of ...
A. 30 September 2012: Hi
Thats alot to go through in 2 years.It must be so hard for you now you've finally got the house and jobs,time to be 'normal',for him to drop this bombshell.
He must have given it some serious thought though and it can't have been easy for hi... (read in full...)
Living together and dating.. how to secure it..
Q. hello, here is my situation.. I need some input.. In Feb 2012 a friend moved in that needed help. we had previously * 10 years ago*had an affair for 2 years, and were ready to move forward togther, and both decided to try to work out our marraige...
A. 29 September 2012: Hi
Yes people might multi date, but they just date, not have sex with them all. If you are going to have sex you make sure prior to that, that you are in an exclusive relationship with the other person. He hasn't hidden the fact he is seeing a... (read in full...)
Was I too inflexible?
Q. Did I handle this right or was I inflexible? I have been seeing a man for many months and there have been "issues" mostly around him being too busy to make plans etc.. So he travels alot for work and was in town for only two days. He told me how...
A. 29 September 2012: Hi
It sounds like your both into your careers and they are time consuming. He has to travel,which is tiring and you have to be up early in the mornings
I dont see a 10pm movie as late, but if you wanted to see him in the day you should have ... (read in full...)
From his message, does it seem like he is interested in me?
Q. I am a bit confused here. First of all pardon me if this is going to be long, but I actually need another mind to think with me and tell me if I'm reading too much into this or not. I am a 33 yo divorced woman with a kid, and I have this male c...
A. 27 September 2012: Hi
Yep he sure is! x... (read in full...)
My married lover has moved on to another girl and I am so hurt, what should I do now?
Q. I have been cheated by my married Lover, he has moved on to a "new girl"(another victim).he has completely removed me from his life,We both are in the same office, spend 8 hrs together, sitting besides each other, but we dont speak at all. he cut ...
A. 27 September 2012: Hi
What should you do? Find another job or transfer. If you don't you will go slowly mad. You broke 2 rules, you had a fling with a married man AND he was a work colleague.
He won't care, you are probably one of a string of women, he has ju... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals from this online girl
Q. Em 24 years old male.Two years ago i met a gal online who was going thru a very bad phase of hers and i helped her overcome it.We became very close as in talking everythng but we havnt met yet.Fortunately i am in the girls country for work.We have ...
A. 27 September 2012: Hi
Meet her, set up a date and meet,if she makes excuses or fails to show up. End the 'relationship' or accept it will only ever be an online friendship.
Could be she is nervous in case you dont like her, so keep the 'date' light, suggest s... (read in full...)
I feel like he ought to have gone more out of his way for me
Q. Hey, I would like others point of view. My boyfriend lives about 90 mikes away and I see him most weekends. The other day I stayed over his and live about a 20 minute drive from his I currently don't have a car. It was really heavily raining an...
A. 27 September 2012: Hi
It depends on his schedule that day, what plans he had in place already. Did he at least lend you a coat or umbrella?
He took you to the station, so at least he didnt make you walk! If he was free all day, yes he could have taken you home,... (read in full...)
I'm confused about our current status
Q. I've known a guy for about two years. He recently got divorced, the marriage was a very hostile and difficult one. He was married for 4 years. We were seeing each other for about 5 months, when he became distance, saying he needs to get his divor...
A. 27 September 2012: Hi
I think most men who are going through divorce or are recently divorced, prefer to remain single for a while. Women do too. You get your head straight,emotions in line,then look to see whats next in your life, and who.
He probably does li... (read in full...)
Is it odd that I can only contact my BF via facebook?
Q. Is it strange that the only way i can contact/speak to my boyfriend in the evenings is via facebook? We've been together for 4 years. I dont think he is cheating but i dont understand it. When he gets home from work, he puts his phone away and d...
A. 26 September 2012: Hi
Have to agree its very odd.Four years of dating and your not able to call him let alone see him, in the week?
Both his and your lives should be an open book by now.What would happen if you were married, would he live elsewhere Mon-Fr... (read in full...)
Do you think he is cheating?
Q. First, my husband works on the pipeline, so he is gone for 3 weeks and then home for 3 weeks. This time, he worked for 8 weeks so he's been gone since july. We talk on the phone every night so I thought everything was fine, he was just working 16 hr ...
A. 26 September 2012: Hi
Yes I do think he has been cheating, he was away 8 weeks this time not 3, I know thats not solid evidence but the fact he has returned home and is 'bored', has picked silly arguments with you and then decided its over. I think the trip away is ... (read in full...)
How do I stop snapping at my mom?
Q. Hi. So I'm 24 and living at home. Lately I have been so frustrated and I'm very impatient with my mum. I have been snapping at her and feel fed up with the constant questions of everyday life. I never moved out for uni as it was just a 15min b...
A. 26 September 2012: hi
You just stop,count to ten when you are going to snap,let the moment pass,divert the conversation.
To get to the root of it all you need to talk, from your Mums point of view she's been caring for you for years,maybe she thought you woul... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring my requests to return my things?
Q. Hi there. I had been dating a man for just over a year. We had spoken of getting married ETC. He suffers from depression therefore it was not uncommon for him to be distant sometimes. A few months ago he told me that he would like to leave things ...
A. 26 September 2012: Hi
Perhaps he thought you let him go too easily, you didn't try to persuade him to reconsider? In which case he would think you didn't care much, his depression would let him think the worst.
I would either call him and arrange a time o... (read in full...)
Long Distance to Married w Kids?
Q. I've been dating a man for 11 months now. It is a long distance relationship but we see each other every two weeks for four days at a time or more and we talk every night. It didn't take long after we first started dating to start talking about a ...
A. 25 September 2012: Hi
Do what YOU want, you didn't sign up for looking after his children, its a new situation. I would still see him for now, if he agrees, but hold back on the moving in and explain why. As you say, you've been there done that and it's your tur... (read in full...)
My much older husband is so insecure now. How do I stop it?
Q. I'm married to a man almost 24 years older than me well 23 and a half years to be exact . We married last summer and since then he is gotton very insecure and I don't know why . I'm 21 and he is 44 we were together about 2 years before that , before ...
A. 25 September 2012: Hi
If its only been in the last 6 months then theres still a chance you can re assure him your going nowhere. His friends were just joking with him its lads talk,they are probably jealous.
You need to sit him down and tell him his behaviour an... (read in full...)
Am I just suffering from the 'grass-is-greener' syndrome? I am so disappointed with myself for not being able to find a man that fits me.
Q. I have been in two long-term relationships for most of my adult life. In my first marriage, I was pretty much starved for conversation, as my husband wasn't much of a talker. When he got home at night I'd ask how his day went, he'd grunt without ...
A. 25 September 2012: Hi
Did you actually take time to get to know either of your husbands before you married them?
The first didnt make you happy, you chose to seek out MEN who talked to you, so, you were looking to replace your husband really.Conversat... (read in full...)
Why hasn't real love come my way?
Q. I am looking for a committed relationship but I don't know how.. I am tired of the games,lies, cheating the whole nine yards. i mean I am getting older time is running thin, not that I'm older than dust, but I am 40 now and I think it's time to ...
A. 24 September 2012: Hi
Don't give up hope, took me years of frogs to find somebody worth giving time to and it is mutual. He is nothing like my usual,nor my ex's so maybe that is the secret,who knows.He took me by surprise and for now I know contentment.Or maybe I ... (read in full...)
Has the love gone? Is this normal after 2 years?
Q. Hello I was wondering if you give any advice... I had some thoughts recently and wondering if love is dying or am I being selfish I have known my boyfriend for two years and although we do not live close by we keep in touch everyday, usually ...
A. 23 September 2012: Hi
It is hard to think of things to say for long periods of time.It must be tiring too,for him especially as he uses a PC at work too.When your not sharing day to day things or popping round to watch a film,eat together etc, its all down to the t... (read in full...)
I just want a little TLC when we are out together, but he gives it to everybody but me!
Q. What is there to do in this situation? My boyfriend is a hopeless flirt and the life of the party. I find it incredibly uncomfortable being in public with him. What on earth can I do? At parties, he engages everyone, except me. He has said...
A. 23 September 2012: Hi
It is extreme behaviour yes, plus he knows it upsets you.Its one thing being a good host its another thing altogether ignoring you and openly flirting etc with other women.
Its clear you don't expect his undevided attention,but yo... (read in full...)
Should I date someone who is always with his friends?
Q. hello i just wanted a bit of advice. i just been talking to a man i like online and he said he likes me as well. we going on a date soon and have met once at his works already which went well. we talk online and will go out soon but thing is he ...
A. 23 September 2012: Hi
Well he talks to you online so he has got spare time.
As for his social life, you should be pleased he's busy, he has asked you to join them too which is great.In time if it develops he would want to spend time with you alone I bet.
... (read in full...)
Ex of 18 years left me for another man, married him and 3 years later I still can't move on
Q. My partner of 18 years left me for another man. She gave me little explanation and I tried everything possible to resolve the situation but she didn't want to know. After three years she has married this man on the rebound. I desperately tryi...
A. 23 September 2012: Hi
It's not easy but 3 years is long enough to mourn her and the relationship you had.It feels like you were living with a stranger all those years doesn't it,I have got the Tshirt!.
But, she has set YOU free too, she is no loss really,to b... (read in full...)
I think he likes me but why wont he talk to me about it?
Q. Hi, I have been talking to this guy online and he has shown interest in me for several years but he never came up to ke and spoke about it. We've met (never spoke to each other) at parties etc. He'd always stare at me and ask about me in my absence. ...
A. 22 September 2012: Hi
If he is from the same culture he will know the restrictions you have, if he isn't he may not understand, in which case he would approach you about a date,but hasn't.Even shy men bite the bullet and make a move eventually,their friends would ma... (read in full...)
I want him to really miss me and forgive me for what I've done!
Q. Hi its abit long but Basically I really liked a guy who's in the army we used to speak everyday and always kept in touch and got on really well we could talk about everything. He asked to take me out 2years ago and went on a date, I dint sleep wi...
A. 22 September 2012: Hi
If he didnt want a girl back home when he was away then he probably wanted to play the field. He has no doubt witnessed his army mates cheating on wives or girlfriends so didnt want to be tied down.He will also have seen others missing their pa... (read in full...)
If he has time to spend with his friends, why didn't he have time to call me?
Q. Hi Currently im in LDR with my bf, since he travelled to a different place for work. He will be returning back in 2 months. We are in LDR for 3 months, been seeing each other for 2 years. 3 days back my bf told me not to call him for 3 days, s...
A. 22 September 2012: Hi
A clingy person would have been texting or calling him during the 3 days he was busy, so no, I don't think your that type at all.Sounds like he is enjoying his freedom and the distance just a little too much.
While you dont need to be his p... (read in full...)
Do you believe in 'if you love them let them go'?
Q. This is just a random poll question: You know how in movies or TV there's always the theme of "if you love him/her, you'll let them go and be happy"... do you agree with that? Given that the relationship in question is pretty good but not ...
A. 21 September 2012: Hi
I think if you know your partner doesn't want to be with you anymore, isn't happy, then yes you should let them go.
I have in the past,without drama and its very hard but I couldnt live day to day with somebody who didnt want to be there... (read in full...)
How can I make him understand that he is not the type of man I want, without hurting him?
Q. I am a 30 year old woman, dating a 33 year old man. We have been together for four months now. My fear is that when we met I told him that "The stay together thing is not part of the relationship" as we are both christians and go to the same church. ...
A. 20 September 2012: Hi
I wouldn't worry about hurting him, look after yourself. The situation has got out of hand, he has slowly moved himself in without,I assume, asking you.
Relationships develop but you set no bounderies so he just did and does as he wants as y... (read in full...)
After 3 years of a FWB relationship, I broke it off. Did I do the right thing?
Q. I guess what I'm really looking for is affirmation that I did the right thing. I think I did, but it takes one varying opinon to make me reconsider what I did. Anyhow, I've been seeing this guy (not seriously for 3-years). I have dated and "...
A. 20 September 2012: Hi
Yes, you did the right thing,as you said,your ready for a proper relationship now, he's been honest with you and told you he is not. 3 years is long enough to know whats what for you both.
No need to stay in contact, just move on and smil... (read in full...)
Why will my boyfriend give his friend money but won't help me?
Q. my boyfriend supports a woman who is just a friend he hardly ever sees her but gives her $$ all the time. my water is shut off but he wont help me how can i get him to help? he is with me most all the time....
A. 20 September 2012: Hi
Perhaps he thinks you should deal with your own bills, if he is with you at your place most of the time then he knows your situation,having no water is quite obvious.I don't see why he should be a 'bank' to either of you but its his money so... (read in full...)
How should I approach my ex husband's new girlfriend about keeping in touch?
Q. i got married when i was 19 years old to a wonderful guy i was in love with since the age of 15.My husband is 7 years older than me. He is the most loving, caring person i have ever met who spoiled me like a princess. i'm separating now because ...
A. 20 September 2012: Hi
I think Ciar has said and worded everything perfectly.This is not the time, be selfless, let them develop their relationship,stay well away for a long time.
You need time, to learn to live without him and his support, to grow as a person... (read in full...)
What should I get my mum for her birthday?
Q. hey aunties, this isn't a relationship question but maybe some of you may help. my mum's birthday is coming up and I would like to give her something nice, but not so expensive. I got a job this year and it'll be the first time I'll be able to ...
A. 20 September 2012: Hi
How thoughtful you are!
1) a magazine sunbscription - for 12 months (cheaper if done online)
2) a fitness DVD to help/go with her diet
3) a manicure/pedicure at the local salon or nail bar
4) take her out to lunch and give h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex still has keys to his flat
Q. I'm so stressed out, I really need to share this, I've been with this guy for 3 months, very much like him, but his ex is always coming round. She has like keys to the flat, comes and stays for weekends if she's in town. Plus not only that but she ...
A. 20 September 2012: Hi
Definately not boyfriend material, you sound like his platonic friend not lover.
He clearly has an issue with sex for some reason, the excuses he is making.If he isn't going to come clean about the reasons or make advances after 3 months..... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a married man who is ready to leave his wife for me but I don't want to break up a family. What should I do?
Q. I am in love with a married man. I am 23 he is 29. He is willing to leave his wife for me. She lives in another country. I don't know what to do, because ever though we are deeply in love with each other, i don't want to break up a family. They ...
A. 20 September 2012: Hi
You should have remained in no contact, that was the right thing to do.
IF it is true love tell him to prove it and not contact you until he has his divorce papers in his hand to show you, child maintenance and all the other ends tied up. ... (read in full...)
Am I being used as a sugar mama in this marriage?
Q. I am 34 and my hubby is 30. We have been married for two years. I told him my age just when we met, and he hid his till about a year and half into the relationship. I never bothered much cos I thought he could be just a few months to a year old...
A. 19 September 2012: Hi
I don't see how he is using you, he works hard, helps in alot of ways is clever with his/your money building property etc. Thats an investment. The age difference is nothing at all.
I think the girl is a minx and a troublemaker.
... (read in full...)
What colour scheme for a room of a 20 year old would look nice?
Q. this isn't a relationship question, just more so of a question. I'm decorating my room and I wondered what colour scheme is nicest to have, it's a plain room with cream walls. I don't know whether red, dark gold and some black or green would look ...
A. 19 September 2012: Hi
When I am undecided I pick an item in the room or buy one, I like the colour of and start there..I love to decorate so tend to stick to pale nuetral colours on the walls then swap bedding,curtains,pictures etc when I feel like a change... (read in full...)
Isn't it a bit extreme for my boyfriend to just cut certain people out of his life?
Q. This really weird interaction happened when I was out with my boyfriend. We were walking along holding hands. We saw a friend of his in the street, my boyfriend called out to him to say hi. Then they were chatting briefly and then his friend looked ...
A. 19 September 2012: Hi
Your update does change things alot.
Siblings falling out is understandable,friends too. To cut off his own child simply because he can't communicate in an adult way with the mother is disgusting.There are no excuses for that behaviour.N... (read in full...)
Why has my friend of 10 years cut me off? I'm so confused. I've dug deep to try to figure out why she's mad at me
Q. I have been good friends with another woman for almost ten years. We met right after we graduated from college and moved to the city. Throughout the years we shared a lot of laughter and tears. Two years ago she and her husband had a ba...
A. 19 September 2012: Hi
If this Stacy has been telling lies then the only person to approach is your friend.Go to her house when you are sure she will be in and clear up the misunderstings.
She has known you a long time and should at least listen if she valued yo... (read in full...)
Isn't it a bit extreme for my boyfriend to just cut certain people out of his life?
Q. This really weird interaction happened when I was out with my boyfriend. We were walking along holding hands. We saw a friend of his in the street, my boyfriend called out to him to say hi. Then they were chatting briefly and then his friend looked ...
A. 19 September 2012: Hi
I think he did right, your boyfriend knows this guy and what he's like so he knows his pattern of behaviour
I too am selective with friends,so as a consequence have only true friends round me.Not playmates,backstabbers or users.I have a h... (read in full...)
I need to stop! But how? I can't stop contacting an abusive ex boyfriend. Any tips on how to get stronger?
Q. I can't seem to stop contacting my ex! Any tips? I was with him for 3 years and he turned out to be verbally and emotionally abusive that recently escalated into physical abuse on more than one occasion. We had a condo together and he stil...
A. 19 September 2012: Hi
He has moved on and his new woman is only seeing his good side, his true colours will come out eventually.
The only way you will get stronger is to throw out your phone and get a new one. Do not keep his number or give him yours. Then star... (read in full...)
How can I tell my parents that when I finish university I want to take up the guitar professionally? They will have to pay $40,000 a year for me to do so.....
Q. Hi, this isn't a relationship question but I'd really like some outside opinions on this problem. I am currently attending university, studying criminology and going into my 3rd year. However back when I started 1st year I had started to play ...
A. 17 September 2012: Hi
I think you have had enough off your parents tbh.
Finish your current degree yes, then if your determined and passionate enough, you will find a way to forge a career using your guitar, independantly.
... (read in full...)
The proposal - Advice please ladies!
Q. Hi all, I have been in a loving relationship with my girlfriend for a number of years now and wish to make a marriage proposal.. I just wish to make this as special for her as possible, because she deserves it! I intend on proposing to her w...
A. 17 September 2012: Hi
Somebody I know has just done this,while on holiday. You romantic you! You pick the ring, I bet whatever you choose will be received with a huge amount of love....
Good luck x... (read in full...)
Would you date a woman who is unemployed?
Q. Okay basically, I was living in another country with my fiance but that ended in disaster so I have to come back to England to restart my life from scratch. I am moving between towns and either staying with my parents or staying with friends, de...
A. 17 September 2012: Hi
I dont blame you for wanting to date, your starting here with a clean sheet, back to square one really
I think if the mans worth knowing he would admire your grit, you haven't given up and become bitter n twisted, you are looking for work... (read in full...)
For the guys: Why does a perfectly nice guy stop talking to you suddenly for no reason?
Q. Hey, this is more one for the guys, as I would love to know why a perfectly (or what seems a perfectly) nice guy can just stop talking to a woman suddenly and that will be it! So the short of the suturation- met a lovely guy, in a bar about 3 we...
A. 17 September 2012: Hi
In the afterglow of the weekend you spent together he was probably all for repeating the experience.Lets face it,from his point of view he hit the jackpot meeting you and it was probably like induldging in a fantasy.
I always think the... (read in full...)
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