I would like to work things out and be a proper couple, what do you suggest?
Q. Hi everyone I have liked this man for 18 months now it has just been sex but I really like him we haven't spoken for three months yesterday we bumped into one another and got talking he said he would come around to see me but he didn't turn up I ...
A. 3 August 2012: Why cant you ignore him does he live in your house? If he doesnt then you CAN ignore him. As you didnt talk for 3 months then he is not interested in you except as a knock-off,sorry but thats how he sees you,he didnt even turn up as planned. You ... (read in full...)
Do you think she's being vain?
Q. In all honesty guys, when you see a girls profile and she has quite a lot of pictures on her Facebook profiles of just her. Do you not think that the girl must know she's beautiful, or be quite vain? I met this girl on a night out, beautiful a...
A. 3 August 2012: Hi
If you want to find the answer then ask her out and get to know her. Nobody here can answer the question because we haven't met her.
You were only attracted to her looks - enough to add her to FB, so now look beyond that, see what she's like a... (read in full...)
Met him in March, moved in with him in May, we aren't officially boyfriend-girlfriend, , now confined to bed following surgery, I've grown obsessed and jealous! Help!
Q. So here's my story. I got a surgery last week and I'm in my sort-of-a-boyfriend's place and he's taking care of me. I'm 20 yrs old college girl and he's 33 and he finishes his masters dgr this semester. Anyways, so all day long I just lay in his ...
A. 3 August 2012: Hi Bit of a complex problem really, surely if you live together then your a couple, it IS official? I assume you share the bedroom? As for him going off with somebody else, why would he, he has you at home,he moved you in, nobody else. You'v... (read in full...)
He says he's never felt like this. Was he being territorial with the love bite? Jealous of my friend? Or moving too soon to make it official?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks. We've seen each other most days... been on dates, I've been to his, met his parents. He goes out of his way to see me, treats me respectfully. We were in his bedroom, things were getting heated. He said ...
A. 2 August 2012: Hi
Too much too soon. Yes he is being territorial, love bites are cheap and look tacky. He did it to show you were taken and probably to insinuate you had sex.
Take a step back, reduce the times you are seeing him. Go to the Festival and enj... (read in full...)
Are women of just two types: girlfriends and the easy ones?
Q. I have heard a lot of times that men put women into 2 categories on spot: girlfriend/wife material AND just for fun/sex buddy etc. What are your insights on this topic?...
A. 2 August 2012: Hi
Men may label women as to how they percieve them, or how they want them to be.For example. A man may see an older woman,love the sex,but because of the age differene never want to marry her. A man her own age would see her as great wife mat... (read in full...)
Should I send him an email to tell him how I feel?
Q. Hey everyone :) Just looking for some advice.......... Have been seeing a guy for about 2 months now and I really like him :) However he has gone away for work for about 3 months. Before he left it was still not clear to me where I stood with hi...
A. 2 August 2012: Hi
Go for it, just a simple 'I miss spending time with you' you is fine.As you say you will never know if you don't take that step... (read in full...)
I'm feeling a bit rejected sexually, how do I find out what's going on?
Q. Hey Guys, i have been dating a girl i met online i'm 33 she is 26. we have been communicating for 2 months, had our first date about 6 weeks ago. We had sex on the 3rd and 4th date where she stayed over both times. It's now 3 weeks later and we...
A. 2 August 2012: Hi
Bit of role reversal here I reckon. She was in it just for the sex, if she wanted more she would make time.
I hope I am wrong as you sound a rare man on the internet dating scenario.
Good luck,don't give up on her,ask her outright wha... (read in full...)
Why do woman hook up with married men?
Q. My question is simple, Why do women hook up with a married man? I would like to hear from those who had a relationship with a married man, why did you do it? Love? Sex? Adventure? ...
A. 1 August 2012:
Erm
Because they can.. it takes 2 to Tango... (read in full...)
He's hurt so many people but I still have feelings for him
Q. Is this guy really a loser. ive got this ex from 5 years ago,occasionly he has contacted me and wanted to hook up,a few times i have given in to this. thing is he is 46 never been married he got a women pregnant but wasnt interested in th...
A. 1 August 2012: Hi
I doubt he will ever change now and is only in contact because you are available and respond when others have probably given up on him. He clearly has deep rooted problems or he wouldn't be as he is.
You can't switch off how you feel but do ... (read in full...)
Am I so bad for feeling this way towards him?
Q. i dont know what to do please help ive fallen for my best friend. we have gotten closer over the last few weeks, he has major problems with his girlfriend and has been with her for 5 years. he needed someone to talk to and i was feeling low and i do...
A. 1 August 2012: Hi
You cant help how you feel but don't hold out too much hope. He could finish with his girlfriend but has chosen not to. Until he is ready to make the break, or she is, then dont think of him in a romantic way. Be a friend yes, but not if it me... (read in full...)
Do you think he is blowing me off?
Q. I am in my mid twenties. I have been on about 5 dates with someone who I met online and things seemed to be going really well..a good pace, good momentum..we text, talk almost every night..I didn't feel that anxiety too much wondering if he is go...
A. 1 August 2012: Hi
I am sorry but your being a tease by sleeping with him but not having sex. If you do not want sex thats perfectly fine, the right choice so early on. But why share his bed or stop over at his. Its giving mixed signals. You've been very heavy an... (read in full...)
Could it be he really doesn't want to get married?
Q. My boyfriend is 41 and has never been married. We have been together for a year. When I ask him if he sees himself getting married in the future his response is "maybe, I'm not sure". I would think that by 41 you would know if you wanted to get ...
A. 1 August 2012: Hi
My colleague and her partner are getting wed next year,and celebrating their 40th birthdays. Its a first time for both as neither have met the right person before now. They're like a pair of teenagers.
Its a huge step for anyone,a lifetim... (read in full...)
Do posters on Dear Cupid frame their questions in a way that would lead to them getting answers which they unknowingly want?
Q. This isn't a question about myself, it's about all of us in general who post questions here on dearcupid. I think it's an odd set up because, like with any agony aunt site, the only information the answerer has to go on lies with the questioner, and ...
A. 31 July 2012: Interesting question The thing with the questions on here is we only hear one side of the story, sometimes you have to try to read between the lines and try to see the problem from both sides. Or put yourself in the other parties shoes to see how... (read in full...)
Ex lives the good life while I struggle to make ends meet for myself and our child. Should I take him to court?
Q. I was with my partner for 3 years, we have a two year old child together. I called it quits due to arguing and him not trusting me. So we have been apart for 2 months now, and I am trying to be civil for our child, I have been trying to arrange a ...
A. 30 July 2012: Hi Contact CSA tomorrow and get the ball rolling for child maintenance. The benefit people normally chase the absent father I am surprised they haven't asked you for his details. You can work for 16 hours a week and get Working Tax Credits (che... (read in full...)
I get depressed going out and seeing children that I'll never have so now I don't want to go out!
Q. I am late thirties. Whenever I go to a mall or wherever and see couples and families with children out together I get this tight sensation in my chest and I feel rock bottom sad that it didn't happen for me, as I never married or had children. I ...
A. 29 July 2012: Hi
Somebody I know got married last week, her fella had his steralisation reversed for her. He has children from a first marriage but wanted some with her. She is 36 he is 42. They met a year ago when she had given up hope.
If you trully want ... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 28 July 2012: Hi
What you should have done was ignored his text. But you didn't you put it on FB. Now your as bad as him
Put it and him behind you now.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has suddenly up and left me for an unemployed drug addict
Q. My boyfriend of just over a year has finished with me for someone else. The woman he has left me for is a drug addict and alcoholic, has had her 3 children taken into care, is dirty, rude, violent, and unemployed living in an extremely run down and ...
A. 28 July 2012: Hi
Right no wonder your in shock.
Look at it from his view, its your house he left I assume,your car,money,job. He has lost his job,his income,probably his pride too.Its a big thing for him.
This woman has no job, she parties, has free ti... (read in full...)
Men: Would you chose a nature program on tv or sex with your girlfriend?
Q. If you were 45 years old and had your 21 year old girlfriend ask you to bed for a blow job and sex would you choose a nature programme (that could be recorded) or your girlfriend. i would appreciate your comments ...
A. 28 July 2012: Hi
The nature programme excuse is hilarious, he was telling you something there and you haven't got the message.
You have annoyed him in some way I bet and so he didnt feel like having sex with you.You being 21 is irrelevant your his partner... (read in full...)
I told my lover's wife about us but it is as if she doesn't care!
Q. I am so hurt right now, I decided to tell my married lover's wife about our affair, because I knew that would be the only way to stop it. I am 35 yrs old and he is a 43 yr old man. It started out as a friendship with casual dinners, and no sex. ...
A. 28 July 2012: Hi
Exactly what is there to love about him, a violent man, a serial cheater, a user of gullible women?
His wife knows the pattern and your probably not the first to ring her. No doubt he will have lied to her,told her your dillussional,sta... (read in full...)
We broke up, got back together, and then he lied about a plane ticket!
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. The relationship had been great, but during one blow up fight we ended things. We were broken up for a month, but after talking things out we got back together. That was 3 weeks ago. Things have ...
A. 27 July 2012: Hi
The problem is you cannot accept it, you do not trust him, he went on the trip and whats done is done.
I don't think this relationship can go anywhere now because there will always be doubt in your mind and he knows this.
You've been bac... (read in full...)
We broke up, got back together, and then he lied about a plane ticket!
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. The relationship had been great, but during one blow up fight we ended things. We were broken up for a month, but after talking things out we got back together. That was 3 weeks ago. Things have ...
A. 27 July 2012: Hi
I actually believe him and his reasons for not telling you,I also think it was very wrong to go through his backpack. You have trust issues since you got back together and whatever he did or didn't do, well, you were on a break.
You nee... (read in full...)
My ex is stalking me, calling me in the middle of the night and has even threatened to kill himself. What am I supposed to do?
Q. Hi I recently posted a question regarding my ex threatening to die if I did not patch up with him. When I met up with him the other day to talk things over things got so bad I told him if he meant what he said I was going to report him to the ...
A. 27 July 2012: Hi
Take your phone to the Police, let them listen to the voicemails,tell them the whole scenario,take an older adult with you,let them know its serious. He is intimidating you.
Do not meet him to 'talk' again, its over for you, you need to... (read in full...)
Do I agree to see him when he never responded back to my text?
Q. I met someone from online and we have been out on about 5 dates..things were going at a good momentum and we were pretty much in contact each day whether through phone or text. He has a different type of job where his schedule varies. He has shown ...
A. 27 July 2012: Hi
I would just say that you made other plans as not sure what he was doing, but another night would be great.
You have met family and friends,he's given you his schedule, sent photos while away. He has actually kept up good contact with you... (read in full...)
I don't know who the father is, should I terminate or give it up for adoption?
Q. Heya, i just found out I'm pregant but I dont know who the father is, I went to butlins about four weeks ago and I sleet with 3 boys, ( I didn't know them or talk any numbers or anything) a week later I slept with two more boys, ( I know these b...
A. 27 July 2012: Hi Its a choice only you can make. Sometimes its the best option for you both,termination, sometimes going ahead with pregnancy is something you are happy you did.Only you know if your ready for the responsibility in your life of another person f... (read in full...)
Ladies: What Keeps A Guy Out Your Friend Zone?
Q. I've noticed that some guys sabotage their own luck with women, and may not know it. What they do to woo a woman, can sometimes end up friendzoning him instead. Outside physical attraction (which may be outside your control), what things can a guy...
A. 26 July 2012: hi
The men in my friendzone are the ones I am not attracted to or vica verca.
If a man wants to date me he has to ask, to be a man, to be confident enough to make that move and take the knockbacks.Flirtings a good start.To be able to pick up ... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him to make a move?
Q. I previously wrote about a guy who gave me his number and I was wondering what I should do. Following your advice, I texted him last friday if he wanted to go out on sunday, he said he had something already planned but that he would like to meet up ...
A. 26 July 2012: hi
You turned up very late, you talked for 4 hours then went back to his and left early without having breakfast.
Comes across as a girl who isnt really into relationships just wanted some male company,doesnt make him feel special,just cas... (read in full...)
I can't afford to pay every time we go out. What's the best way to let her know?
Q. Hi. So I asked someone out and we had dinner and I payed, which I was happy to do. I've asked her out again for a coffee and she said yes. The thing is I just can't afford to pay for her every time we go out. I don't know if she'll be expecting me ...
A. 26 July 2012: Hi
Suggest you go for a picnic instead, tell her to bring the drink and you'll do the food. Then while your sat there explain your not able to go out much as finance is tight.
As it sounds like a new woman she can take it or leave it,or work... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he doesn't love me when we fight.
Q. My boyfriend (I am 31, he is 41, together for a year)and I have been fighting a lot. We are trying to work things out. When we fight he says that he shuts down emotionally and stops feeling love towards me. He refused to say "I love you" because ...
A. 26 July 2012: Hi
Just leave him be, dont keep demanding he says he loves you,dont keep annoying him when hes at work, dont make him your focus in life.Find distractions, friends,going out,other interests.Dont be needy and available.
Let him come to you,cont... (read in full...)
How do you bring up mental illness in a delicate way?
Q. I always thought something was off with my BF until recently when I found out for sure there's something very off. I found tiny, secret cameras hidden in small holes all over our apartment, my mail was opened by him, and I think he records my ...
A. 26 July 2012: Hi
Just pack up your things and leave asap,do not give advance warning to him,just do it when you are ready to go and he isnt around.Today if possible.Make sure somebody is there to help you too.
This isnt how anyone should live, he is viol... (read in full...)
I need a job to help my mom pay the bills!
Q. please help.am going crazy i im in dire need of a job am the first born my brother has finished school and i see how he is stressd at home am stressed too im so broke my mum is a single mum she is really suffering to bring food for us and also ...
A. 26 July 2012: Hi
How lucky is your Mum to have you as a daughter,your so caring.x
I dont know where you live or what your skills are so not sure what would be on offer. Have you done a CV and taken it round shops,factories,offices put an advert online,do... (read in full...)
Is it too much fir me to want my wife to wear a little make-up?
Q. I really need advice.I have been maried for 18 years.my question is we have one dissagrement I would really like it if my wife would wear a little mascara, eye shadow and lipstick.Not everyday just like three or four times a year.l love her she is ...
A. 26 July 2012: Hi
I dont think its asking too much at all,most women love to make an extra effort when they are going out at night, to look a bit more glamorous. Seems you have picked a rare one that doesn't.
Think your going to have to accept your wife... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he being heartless?
Q. So I want to try to make this as unbiased as possible, sorry it's so long. My boyfriend and I are searching for an apartment in an expensive city. We are currently long distance, but have not always been. We agreed on a reasonable budget. We are b...
A. 24 July 2012: Why do you need him to 'react' perhaps he doesn't do drama,perhaps he just wants to find somewhere to live without all this stress. Men are simple folk they just want someplace to keep their things, a bed and a bathroom.
You two are not compatab... (read in full...)
Is it possible that my ex still likes me even a year after breaking up or am I reading too much into it?
Q. Hello, Big question, I went through the most painful breakup of my life last year, it took me almost 12 months to stop crying on a semi-daily/monthly basis for him. I must admit I still cry for him once in a while but I now have a boyfriend and ...
A. 24 July 2012: Hi
When you sent that you missed him he didnt respond. I would say that means he remembers you fondly,with affection and were important to him,hes happy your happy.BUT he has moved on,has found somebody new.
Take him off FB, end your current... (read in full...)
Do I have cause to be concerned about this?
Q. I have a partner aged 55 and stay at his at weekends, my problem is babysitting his grandaughter. She is 4 years old and i do think she is lovely. My concern is i do not think a young child should share the same bed as her grand parents, i did ...
A. 24 July 2012: Hi
I dont see anything wrong with the situation, he has a one bedroom flat so either he or the grandaughter would have to sleep on the couch so its the obvious solution for them to share a bed.
The reason you find it creepy is you dont have th... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he being heartless?
Q. So I want to try to make this as unbiased as possible, sorry it's so long. My boyfriend and I are searching for an apartment in an expensive city. We are currently long distance, but have not always been. We agreed on a reasonable budget. We are b...
A. 23 July 2012: Hi
From what I am reading you should think long and hard about moving in with him. If you argue about money or whatever when living together he will have be the same and you will cry,get very upset.You won't be on the end of a phone,you will be ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to leave?
Q. My situation is my boyfriend of 2 years is living with me in my flat where I pay the rent and he makes and will continue to make a contribution "when he can" in his words, and the reason for this is that when we were very "in love" in the beginning ...
A. 21 July 2012: Hi
Ask your landlord to make a seperate lease for your boyfriend so he is legally responsible for half the rent as a joint tennant.
Tell your boyfriend you are doing this as you cant afford to keep him any longer. If you feel he will take it ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3 years popped the question unexpectedly in front of family/friends. I told him I wasn't ready and now he won't talk to me!
Q. Hey everyone So my boyfriend proposed to me last week and I know I just be happy about this but I'm not.. We have been dating for 3 years and things are goin really well until the day of propasal.. He has never spoken about marriage to me so ...
A. 21 July 2012: Hi
Oh poor bloke he must be totally humiliated,you could have said yes, it was an engagement ring not a wedding ring. After 3 years it IS considered the next step.
If you don't want to commit to him now, then I don't think he is the one for y... (read in full...)
Is it for the thrill of it all?
Q. Hi Aunts, I have a question i would like to ask you all,as i can't seem to make any sense of it. I have been having a affair with a married man for quite some time,years actually,so please if any of you are going to preach to me that i'm doing wr...
A. 21 July 2012: Hi
What a weirdo he is, I guess its an ego thing, his 2 women in one place. Tell him if he wants you at functions then he is going to have to marry you and you will then go as his partner.
Tough if he gets upset if you dont go, seems to me he t... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm drowning in despair over this and I need help!
Q. I am at a lost here. The man I have been dating for 8 months died suddenly this past Saturday and yesterday I found out he already had a girlfriend for "a little over a year". His best friend told me, because he was afraid of the drama that may ...
A. 20 July 2012: Hi
Your mourning a stranger in a way,not the man you thought. Your in shock from both his death and the news he wasnt who you thought.
Go with the flow of grief, remember the man as you knew him,a man who cared about you. Dont think about the ... (read in full...)
Is he using me? I don't know what to make of his behavior.
Q. Ive been with my partner for 2yrs and a few months.I live with my two kids aged 6 and 11 years. We do not currently live together. But we have discussed the future and getting married and having kids. We discussed living together a few months bac...
A. 20 July 2012: Hi
He just sounds like a man with a life to me. You got used to him being available and around when he wasn't working,now he works Mon-Thurs. He doesn't finish late but thats an early start so maybe he just wants to do his own thing in an evening.... (read in full...)
To cut or not to cut? (Hair)
Q. This may be a stupid question to ask but should i cut my hair or no? I have been going through some changes as far as my confidence level and decided that I need to start doing more for myself as far as what makes me feel good. I dyed my hair thi...
A. 20 July 2012: Hi
Been asking same question in my mirror for last month, now shoulder lenghth, grown well took ages,so to save time 'doing' it I thought go for big 'perm' curls. Then thought, its summer go short n neat.Still undecided but made appointm... (read in full...)
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