A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is just a random poll question:You know how in movies or TV there's always the theme of "if you love him/her, you'll let them go and be happy"... do you agree with that? Given that the relationship in question is pretty good but not perfect, would you let the love of your life go because they are unhappy or could potentially be happier with someone else? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2012): I do, and not just if you've gone out with then or you are going out with them. If they know you love them, and don't feel the same way you beevers to move on so they can.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 September 2012):
 If someone is unhappy how can the relationship be “pretty good”?
If you truly love someone and they want out of the relationship of course you let them go.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 September 2012):
 If they are unhappy with me, I would let them go in a heartbeat. I COULD NOT be happy with a person know that HE is unhappy being with me..
Nor would I WANT to be with someone who doesn't REALLY want to be with me, but does it out of obligation or because it's convenient.
So yes, I believe in setting love free.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2012): "You know how in movies or TV there's always the theme of "if you love him/her, you'll let them go and be happy"... do you agree with that?"
Yeah of course.
There's a reason for most idioms like that OP. That one is designed to protect you. Many people will stay in the most horrible toxic relationships just out of love alone. They stay unhappy or abused because they can't bare the though of letting go but letting them go out of love for them is something people can get behind and use as means of ending things.
It's never a good idea to hang on to a person you just don't work with on the basis of love alone because it's never enough.
"Given that the relationship in question is pretty good but not perfect, would you let the love of your life go because they are unhappy or could potentially be happier with someone else?"
As others have said already, it's not "pretty good" if one person is unhappy. As far as the could be happier with someone else part, that's a loaded question. If they're not happy in the relationship then of course they have a chance at being happier with someone else, that's a given.
OP the best thing about being able to let go is that it gives you a position of strength from which to fight to fix the relationship. People who can't let go, or feel they "need" their partner are in a very weak position and will tolerate some horrendous bullshit that they really shouldn't. But having an out, knowing you can let go means you will not tolerate the intolerable and you're also less likely to be blinded by love too.
It's a safety mechanism OP and a good one. If you really love someone you should be willing to let them go if it'll make them happier, even if in the short term it makes you sad. Too many people are selfish when it comes to love, think of all the women who get stalked and harassed by their ex's and have horrible things happen to them. Wouldn't it be better if those ex's believed in letting go of the one you love?
Seriously whenever you hear an idiom such as that, remember it's not just some romantic cliché they always have a underlying reason that's good. "love yourself first" "love is blind" all those things are there as ways of teaching people to protect themselves.
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (21 September 2012):
 Hi
I think if you know your partner doesn't want to be with you anymore, isn't happy, then yes you should let them go.
I have in the past,without drama and its very hard but I couldnt live day to day with somebody who didnt want to be there.Oddly enough years later, we are now friends,nothing more, and he is one of those I can trust to be watching my back.
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female
reader, Plumb +, writes (21 September 2012):
 I belive in doing that but i do also belive if it IS the love of your life you should do nothing but hold onto them and never let them go.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 September 2012):
 How can the relationship be "pretty good" if either one is unhappy being in it ??
A relationship that makes one the partners unhappy is a relationship that's not working, and whether you let them go or you try to keep them with you, sooner or later it will just implode and be over.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2012): In a word, yes. That's not to say you shouldn't fight for a relationship, to work at making it as good as it could be, making an effort to overcome obstacles. Once you have tried and tried, if its not working, or simply if your partner isn't happy and doesn't know how to be happy with you, or doesn't want the relationship, whatever it is, I believe in letting people go, if that's what they want or need.
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