A
female
age
41-50,
*anna58
writes:I have been good friends with another woman for almost ten years. We met right after we graduated from college and moved to the city. Throughout the years we shared a lot of laughter and tears. Two years ago she and her husband had a baby. I was still desperately single, so our interests had changed somewhat. But we were still close. Maybe we didn't hang out as much, but we still talked often and met up every few weeks or so.While she was very happy, I was going through a hard time (single and underemployed). I didn't want to burden her with my problems, so I'd avoid her a little, but not completely.Now, I'm finally in a wonderful relationship and have an excellent job. I've been reaching out to her a lot lately. I thought she'd be as happy to share in my happiness as I've been to share hers, but she's ignoring me.It started three months ago when she didn't even wish me a happy birthday. Since then, I've sent her a few emails and called a few times. Her responses have been late and terse. I didn't freak out at first. I figured that she's been tired or busy or something. One of our mutual friends had dinner with her last week, so I know she's okay, as social as usual and that she's probably just avoiding me.I really have no idea why. Nothing bad happened between us. Two weeks before my birthday, she and I went out with our significant others. We had a lovely time. Absolutely nothing bad happened! Her husband and I are very friendly and they both get along well with my boyfriend. I'm so confused. I've dug deep to try to figure out why she's mad at me. The only things I've come up with is 1) that she's completely self-absorbed and doesn't want to hear about my life, but I find that difficult to believe because she's always been a wonderful friend in the past; OR 2) that another former friend, "Stacy" may have spread a vicious rumor about me. I'm only entertaining the second idea because a few people have told me that Stacy has approached them with terrible lies about me. I don't know what to think. Please share your opinions. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 September 2012):
 my best friend when we were kids from like 14-21 and i lost touch after i had a child... we just had NOTHING in common.
now my kids are grown and we have after 25 years reconnected.
it's not the same but we are trying to see each other every few weeks.
Maybe you guys have just come to a parting of the ways?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2012): i have a similar situation, only in the opposit. am the one avoiding a friend i have known for 7 years. she is deparately single and unemployed and has a baby. i recently got married and have a baby. the reason am avoiding her is our interests have changed and my hubby, though ok friends does not approve of her, and i know it would hurt her to know the reasons, better i just ignore her. why dont you just forget about her? FRIEND COME AND GO. just be happy she was your friend and as long as you know you its not your fault, it shouldnt bother you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2012): I wouldn't jump to conclusions. You certainly could talk to her about how Stacy has been spreading lies, but it may be that your friend is just exhausted from her child!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (19 September 2012):
 Hi
If this Stacy has been telling lies then the only person to approach is your friend.Go to her house when you are sure she will be in and clear up the misunderstings.
She has known you a long time and should at least listen if she valued your friendship.
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