A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I have been in a loving relationship with my girlfriend for a number of years now and wish to make a marriage proposal.. I just wish to make this as special for her as possible, because she deserves it!I intend on proposing to her when we are on holiday in a couple of months, and have narrowed down my plans of attack are as follows:1) Buy a ring of my choosing and surprise her with a proposal on our upcoming holiday2) Propose to her with a token ring, and then take her to choose her own ring after the holidayIn preparation for number (1) above I have secretly ordered a ring sizer from a jewellery shop, and figured that If I am careful enough I could get her really drunk one night before our holiday and sneak her size when she is asleep.. haha (is this romantic?)However I am sure that in a lot of circumstances some of you ladies would appreciate being able to choose your ring, as you will obviously be wearing it every day.... I have delicately probed my girlfriend with non-obvious questions to see what her preference would be, but she is pretty indecisive so it is very difficult!What would your choice be? Guys feel free to answer too..Money will not really be too much of an issue as I have made steps to prepare myself for this.I appreciate that everyone is an individual and that the choice will be mine to make, but I am desperately seeking advice or a consensus on how to proceed, so any help you can give would be greatly appreciated!Kind regards
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the answers so far.. you have given me alot of useful information and considerations
Hopefully starting to narrow down the choice now :)
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (18 September 2012):
 By all means go with Plan #2. Women need to choose the ring of their dream, and no matter how good your taste is, you will fail in the area if you choose it for her. But I like the fact that you are putting so much effort into this decision and genuinely want to do it right. I think it's admirable that you are smart enough to see the potential disaster in this difficult dilema. I know you will do the right thing and the moment will be priceless. Good luck and I hope she says "yes". You are a man worth having!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): It's hard to say if she would prefer to pick it out on her own or not, but you could always pick it out AND not have it sized, that way if she didn't care for it she could pick another one. For me, I loved the fact my husband picked it out himself. Congratulations!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2012): Which ever plan you choose, make sure to take her to a very public place like a a soccer game and slip the camera coordinator a $$$?amount to put your proposal on the jumbo-tron.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (17 September 2012):
 Well I was engaged recently and a newlywed so all of this is freshly in my head. We had talked about marriage pretty frequently before he proposed. When I started looking at rings I had never looked into engagement rings before so I had no idea what I even liked! I thought I'd like a princess cut but when seeing them in person it wasn't for me. I remember thinking my husband would've had a very tough time finding what I wanted when I didn't even know what I wanted!
If you feel really confident in your decision then I would research the meanings of each cut of diamond as well as pay attention to her style. Does she wear a lot of jewelry and is flashy or is she more simple? My ring is the only jewelry I wear and I'm very traditional, so my style is a simple white gold band with a 1/2 karat round stone. Also make sure you know if she likes white gold or yellow gold. I can't stand yellow gold. Another option is to recruit a sister or girl friend that knows her really well to go with you. Engagement rings come in sets sometimes too, the wedding band a perfect match to the engagement ring. That's another thing to think about.
Rings have A LOT of options and it gets overwhelming so if you did just a token when you propose that would be fine too. Then you can both go for her to pick out her own. It's up to you and how confident you feel in picking jewelry out for her. I was clueless and so was my husband so that worked better for us to pick out my own but everyone is different. I wouldn't worry too much about the size. Mine had to be resized when I got it and it was no big deal. If at all possible you could take a ring of hers to be sized, if it won't be missed for a short time. If you want it to be a complete surprise I wouldn't try measuring her while asleep, she will probably figure it out. Well either way congratulations! The engagement is a very fun time :) And I looked up 2 sites that could be helpful for you.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Tips-For-Picking-Out-an-Engagement-Ring-Without-Her-Input&id=5626722
And this is for the meanings of the different shapes-
http://www.ehow.com/about_5052343_different-diamond-shapes-mean.html
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (17 September 2012):
 Hi
Somebody I know has just done this,while on holiday. You romantic you! You pick the ring, I bet whatever you choose will be received with a huge amount of love....
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 September 2012):
 well i'm torn too... you sound like a delight.
you can never go wrong with a simple solitare... but she may like something more detailed.
my engagement ring is so over the top my fiance just rolls his eyes but it was what i wanted... we had it designed together but then our proposal was all planned out by both of us as we were already living together and knew we were getting married... (and it was not my first time so it was not a huge deal to me)
for a first timer... huge deal...
What about a cigar band in a lovely ring box and then you can say to her "I want you to have exactly what you want in a ring to make YOU happy as you have to wear it every day so I did not want to guess"
when my dad took my mom to buy her stone (many many MANY years ago) she was sad over the fact that her stone was smaller than most of her friends (it was only a little over a carat) but my father wisely explained to her even then "you may have a bigger stone but it will be of lesser quality or you may have THIS PERFECT STONE".... mom picked the perfect stone and had it reset at least one time that i know of.
Currently this perfect "small" stone sits in my engagement ring as my mom is deceased and my ring was made out of her old jewelery as I wanted....
every woman is different however so you should wait for more responses...
is your lady a practical type of woman or a romantic...
that too will have bearing on what you choose to do.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 September 2012):
 This is really tough, and there is no right answer I'm afraid! How good are you at choosing things for her? As in have you bought her lots of surprises before, and she's loved them all? I guess if you know her style well, and have had experience in the past of buying her gifts that she has really liked, then option 1 should be ok.
But if you have never really bought her much in the past, and are very unsure about what she wants, well option 2 might be safer.
Me personally - I am a combination of the two. I have basically told my boyfriend what kind of ring I want, and when the time comes when he is thinking about proposing I'll show him the ring online and give him the link to it so he can get it for me, then propose with the right ring. I want the proposal itself to be a surprise, I dont want to know when its going to happen, but I want the ring to be right - but I am a fussy person when it comes to jewellery and I know exactly what I want.
Have you thought about maybe buying the diamond, and proposing with that instead of the ring? This is becoming more popular recently, you can buy the diamond itself, have that in a lovely box, propose and then get it made into whatever style ring she wants. As a rule of thumb, you cant go wrong with 1 carat if you can afford it, its not too big (some girls love huge diamonds but if you dont know what your girlfriend likes then going for more than 1 carat is risky, she might want something very subtle!). It is quite a nice process to design the ring together after the proposal as well, it might be worth looking into!
Other ideas for you - go out shopping one day before the holiday (think of some item of clothing you need to buy and take her with you), deliberately walk past a jewellery shop (most high streets have them!) and point out a ring you really dont like (say something like 'ugh, look at that monstrosity!) and then get talking about what rings you do and dont like. She might give you some hints!
Maybe order some brochures online, I dont know what excuse you could make for having the brochures - have you got a sister who isnt far away from getting engaged? Do you work in a business where you would be looking at luxury brochures (take me for example, I do automotive brochures in a advertising agency so I have loads of luxury brochures arriving at the house)? Could you blame your mum, saying she came to the house and left them? All the high end jewellers have brochures, I know you can order them online from Boodles and Tiffanys.
I'm not sure your ring size idea is going to work I'm afraid, she is going to have to be very drunk and that is not nice! Even then it is risky, if you put a size on her that is too small it will be very hard to get off, so you waking her up by tugging on her hand with a ring sizer stuck to it is going to ruin the surprise now isnt it! You can buy any ring and get it re-sized later, I know it would be lovely for her to wear it right away but you cant have everything. Does she have any other rings that she wears? Even if it is the wrong finger, you can move up or down 1 size depending on the finger. Just measure the ring she wears, against the ring sizer, take it to the jeweller and they will be able to advise you.
Sorry this hasnt given you a definitive answer - it all comes down to how confident you are in buying things for her. If you've bought her plenty of jewellery in the past and she's loved it all, then you should be ok picking a ring for her. Just look at the style of jewellery she wears, look if she likes small and subtle, or big and flashy. If you are not confident and would feel more comfortable her choosing it, then maybe look at the buying a loose diamond option, or buy a cheap token ring for now.
Either way, it will still be a very special moment and the ring wont really be the most important bit of it, she will be so overwhelmed by the proposal and so happy you have asked her to marry you that the ring will just be something on the sidelines.
Good luck!
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