How do I heal the relationship? Do I love too deeply?
Q. I have been with my bf for 21 months - nearly two years. We have a beautiful 1 year old son together. I have two kids at home with me so two toddlers. Last night though, out of nowhere he turned around and told me he fell out of love with me ove...
A. 25 October 2012: Hi
You have had to cope with the worst a mother can,losing a child.So sorry.
I don't know that you can heal this relationship,you must have gotten pregnant almost as soon as you met, this keeps some people together out of obligation,he ha... (read in full...)
Would it seem desperate to visit a guy in another state that I have only met once?
Q. A few weeks ago, I took a weekend trip with some friends to a city a few hours away from where we live. They had a conference to attend so I mostly spent the weekend exploring the city on my own. The night before we returned home, I ran...
A. 25 October 2012: Hi
Don't mention sex or that you aren't desperate. Leave it as is, a casual platonic friendship with a nice guy for now.Where would you stay on your visit? A hotel would be best,not his place.
Its a chance to get to know each other better,cou... (read in full...)
Girls if a guy asks you out and you say no, then is it awkward for ever after between him and you?
Q. I have never dated very much. My one and only girlfriend, with her, things just happened as if I didn't have control. I said things I wouldn't normally have said, I was forward and thats why things worked out. I was assertive. Usually though,...
A. 25 October 2012: Hi
Its flattering when a guy asks a girl out, provided you haven't asked every girl in the vicinity for a date.
Why would it be awkward if you get a negative response, your attitude can make sure its not.You ask,she says no, so you just carry o... (read in full...)
We want to settle down and have a baby. Getting our finances right to buy not rent is the aim. Have you achieved this goal successfully? How?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for just over 3 years and we really want to get our own place. We don't want to rent as we feel that we will be wasting money paying the rent each month and at the end of it we will have nothing ...
A. 25 October 2012: Hi
If you have the money for a deposit,legal fees and surveys thats the first step sorted,it costs thousands.
Then you need to work out what the mortgage repayments would be, plus the council tax,water,insurance,utilities etc every month.Plus... (read in full...)
I thought marriage was all about cherishing the one you love. All he does is cheat? And ignore his children and me. Should I break up with him?
Q. I have been in this relationship for 7 1/2 years and I have been married 2 1/2 years. Through the time of all these years. He has done nothing but cheated and he feels like its not a big deal at all when he gets caught in his lies or the females ...
A. 24 October 2012: Hi
Its the children I feel sorry for here, the atmosphere they are growing up in.Their dad a cheat who ignores them and their mum very unhappy.Marriage is supposed to be cherishing and respecting your partner,your right.
Get everything sorte... (read in full...)
Should I leave him? I'm tired of feeling 'second class' and "not quite good enough for him".
Q. My husband and I have been together now for about 14 years. We have 2 beautiful children. However, i am so sick of dealing with his selfish ways. He has cheated 3 times, the first was about 9 years into our relationship and was a full on relations...
A. 23 October 2012: Hi
I would pack his things up and throw him out.He has had so many chances,he is consistently playing with your emotions and the marriage. Its not easy being a single mum but the alternative is accepting this is how he is.
You need to sort the... (read in full...)
Why does my husband keep going on dating sites looking for women? he knows I know. So why does he keep on hurting me like this?
Q. For at least the past 6 months I was coming across my boyfriend going on dating sites to chat to different women. Of course, he has always denied it and called me weird and neurotic. He knows that I know, so why won`t he tell me if there is somet...
A. 23 October 2012: Hi
He keeps going on dating sites because he wants to, he knows you know and doesn't care.By still being around it means you accept this behaviour.
One day he will probably meet sombody and leave...do you want to still be around then?... (read in full...)
IPhone addict? Sending a picture of himself in some of my clothing? What can I do about his addiction to his phone?
Q. My husband has recently become obsessed, and I mean obsessed with his iPhone. The iPhone isn't new, he's had it since January, so it's not like a kid with a new toy at Christmas, but he spends hours on social networking sites with it, and spends m...
A. 23 October 2012: Hi
He does sound a bit odd from what you say, however I don't see why he would mind or comment on you being out for a meal with girlfriends, it's not anything unusual.
It sounds like he is compensating for something thats missing in his l... (read in full...)
Applying for a job with rotating night shifts and would like advice from someone with experience.
Q. I need some advice. I currently work at a part time job where I get 25 hours a week maximum. I've been here for almost 4 years. The latest I work is 7pm and the earliest is 9am. I am giving this background because I have applied and am going through ...
A. 23 October 2012: Hi
Working until midnight for 2 weeks isnt so bad.If you need the extra hours and money then go for it.You will soon settle into a routine.
I worked nights, 12hr shifts 8-8, 4 on 4 off,when my children were young, never got enough sleep and... (read in full...)
I'm so good looking, its annoying! How can I approach a guy for sex without getting into anything serious?
Q. I am good looking to the limit of annoyance, it caused me a great deal of trouble looking the way I do. I had major psychological issues because of my looks, I isolated my self thinking everyone interested in me because I am pretty I felt li...
A. 22 October 2012: Hi
I think you DO still have head issues, your focusing on your 'good looks' way too much. People on the whole are not shallow and see past the outer skin.
If you want to see a stranger for sex,which is who it would be as you don't want it to... (read in full...)
LDR: how do I determine if I'm being played?
Q. I have a question about a 'relationship' I'm in. I am sort of seeing a guy, I say sort of for reasons I'll explain in this question. I met him while I was visiting a friend abroad. I ended up having what I thought to be a one night stand, he ...
A. 22 October 2012: Hi
I would just outright ask him so you know where you stand.His conversation about distance relationships is like telling you he wants to be seeing a local girl, also the fact he is talking about not having a girlfriend for ages says alot.
... (read in full...)
Should I just stop being in contact with my ex?
Q. This guy i used to date sent me a text message today saying " Say hello by all means, but i won't be out with you on Thursday ". I bumped into him yesterday when we were in town, and we had a chat. I told him that i would be out again on Thursday, ...
A. 22 October 2012: Hi
Definately stop contact with him,why risk losing your boyfriend over some idiot who wants nothing but sex?... (read in full...)
Is giving a blow job to another guy cheating? My Bf is getting all worked up about what I did.
Q. This is just a quick one so you guys can help see my bf that he is over reacting. We've been going out for just over 1 year and we are very much in love. at the start of the relationship we did everything that we could possibly do both socially an...
A. 22 October 2012: Hi
Well if he's ok with it then you will have to be ok when he's with another woman and you catch him.Works both ways.... (read in full...)
My married lover is putting up barriers to me seeing her. And she wants to hide me from her children when her divorce goes through. What should I do?
Q. Hello, I'm going to give the whole story of my situation. I know it's morally wrong but no one is perfect. So please don't respond if you want to talk about morals. I just need some honest opinions with my situation. I have been in a relationshi...
A. 22 October 2012: Hi
Her kids may know you as a family friend, they don't know you as their mums partner so it would be a totally different situation.
I wouldn't contact her until your divorce is final and you have moved out. Thats what she wants,for you to... (read in full...)
I thought we were going to be just friends?
Q. Modnote: your account name is new but I have read an almost identical question to this before. Have you posted this question before or read this before? Hello Everybody! I am going to try and be as honest and as front with everybody as I ca...
A. 21 October 2012: Hi
You either ask her out officially and make her your woman again or walk away and tell her you can't be friends.
She is into you and you just can't handle her as a partner.You accused her of cheating and she came back,you were lucky,don't... (read in full...)
Is what I do a fetish? Or am I am exhibitionist? My wife says people stare at me in public when I do this
Q. Am I wierd, I dont like to wear underware sometimes and when I go camando in shorts my package sometimes is noticeable. My wife says people keep staring but I dont see them I think she is just worried my junk will spill out at the wrong time. I ...
A. 21 October 2012: Hi
I wouldnt say it was a fetish,no underwear,but flashing your tackle in shorts is obscene.Wear longer,baggier ones.
Your wanting to see women in awkward situations IS weird, especially if its related to you wearing short shorts and no un... (read in full...)
My married lover is putting up barriers to me seeing her. And she wants to hide me from her children when her divorce goes through. What should I do?
Q. Hello, I'm going to give the whole story of my situation. I know it's morally wrong but no one is perfect. So please don't respond if you want to talk about morals. I just need some honest opinions with my situation. I have been in a relationshi...
A. 21 October 2012: Hi
The way I read it is she thought you would divorce your wife after she had gone through with her divorce and so be available and free as she is. However your still married.
She doesnt want the children confused by meeting you nor I suspec... (read in full...)
Was it wrong for me to finally object? His binge drinking and his obstinant attitude to trying to address his eczema has me fed up.
Q. Hi, I need a bit of advice regarding my ex partner and his skin condition please - he had very bad exzema that flares up when he binge drinks. Despite the fact that this guy treated me really, really badly for nearly two decades - after more tha...
A. 20 October 2012: Hi
I don't know why you took him out for a meal to be honest, you should have just said thanks over the phone.
You have moved on and have a new priority in your life,your current man. Whatever your ex does its not your problem any longer. All ... (read in full...)
She loved me, left me, and now wants to come back
Q. Hi I had never been with a girl ever an then met someone in jan this year!! Fell for her head over heels an gave her my heart. An she used me and then dropped me in April to go back to her ex who had done the same to her!!! But I haven't moved on ...
A. 20 October 2012: Hi
I know its hard but I wouldn't go back,for your own sake.You would always doubt her,wonder if she might leave again when her ex snaps his fingers.Don't be her fall-back man.
Your getting yourself together and doing well which proves you... (read in full...)
Follow up: my husband has disappeared 6 weeks after we got married.
Q. Thank you for your help on my question at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/married-six-weeks-and-now-he-has-left.html I'll clear up a few things for you now; He's Canadian, born in Vancouver, well Scottish-Canadian to be exact, his ancestors emi...
A. 20 October 2012: Hi
If his family know where he is then he must have spoken to them about when and why he was doing it and clearly their loyalty is with him.Perhaps in time they will tell you,who knows.
Could be he just decided he couldn't stay married, didnt w... (read in full...)
Is she distracted? No longer cares? She cheated on me last year. And now she's forgotten my Birthday. Will things ever go back to how they were?
Q. Hi guys, hope you are well. I will go straight to the point, my wife forgot my birthday and I can't help but feel so sad. She remembered a few minutes to Mid-night and said happy birthday and apologised. I don't know what to do because over...
A. 20 October 2012: Hi
It must feel awful,did you not get any other cards or phone calls that would have reminded her? Or plan a night out to celebrate it?
Women are usually good at remembering birthdays,she must have been very distracted. Its time to have a s... (read in full...)
Is giving a blow job to another guy cheating? My Bf is getting all worked up about what I did.
Q. This is just a quick one so you guys can help see my bf that he is over reacting. We've been going out for just over 1 year and we are very much in love. at the start of the relationship we did everything that we could possibly do both socially an...
A. 20 October 2012: Ofcourse it's cheating. You were doing A LOT worse than kissing. You didn't sleep with him?So you just gave some other random guy a BJ - just like that? And your boyfriend found you doing it? You need to learn an awful lot about acceptable be... (read in full...)
Married six weeks and now he has left me to live in another country? What can I do? No warning. No idea why.
Q. I've just got married, and been married for 6 weeks now. We haven't even had our honeymoon yet, it's been busy with work etc. Our wedding was lovely - cost about $25,000 - at HIS request, not mine, so I can't really be called a bridezilla for t...
A. 18 October 2012: Hi
This is just plain weird.I feel for you.
Are you 100% sure he is in the UK?
Have you any contact details for any of his family?
Is he already married to somebody in the UK do you think?
Has he got any cash from you or access to it... (read in full...)
The Ex factor. How do I stop becoming obsessed with my partner's ex girlfriends and ex-wife?
Q. I am doing my usual self-destructive stuff that is driving my new boyfriend away. Right now I feel sick to the stomach that I am at this again. Nearly every relationship I have become obsessed with their ex girlfriend/wife. Currently I am ...
A. 18 October 2012: Hi
All you can do is imagine losing him over this obsession of yours.
We all have Exs, I wouldn't want to go back to either of mine no matter how happy we had been before the rot set in.He has made it clear how he feels about you and her.Woul... (read in full...)
Is he just being nice? Or does he have a crush on me? he talks about sex a bit. My friend says he tricked me into a date.
Q. This guy at school is being really nice to me, and I've started feeling things for him. He just naturally makes me brighter and I can't stop smiling around him. But, I'm not sure if he's just being nice or he's being flirty. A week ago, he wen...
A. 18 October 2012: Hi
From what you've said, he likes you plus your friends are right.Let him make the moves and encourage him when he does.... (read in full...)
Friend's obsession with her b/f and their problems is really getting to me!
Q. i have a friend who is dating an raf man. all she ever talks about is him. if he dosent text, she analyses evrything and her moods go from up to down. one minute shes crying, then if he texts shes back to normal. as i live with her, i get it all the ...
A. 18 October 2012: Hi
I had a friend like this,fortunately I wasn't sharing a home with her! I got calls day and night but the final straw was a 3am one,after they'd had another row.
It grinds you down and its all a one way conversation. I just told her I could... (read in full...)
How can I get over someone I still love? And did I make a terrible mistake?
Q. Hi all Ive been with my partner for four years now- its been a distance relationship..seeing each other weekends only and it has not always an easy thing. But we have had amazing times. Neither of us were willing to give up good jobs that w...
A. 18 October 2012: Hi
Her career is more important than you, to her which is her choice.
I completely understand your doubt as she did end it,but in reality this 'distance' should have been bridged 2 years ago by one or both of you, if you were so in love.You m... (read in full...)
She tells me she's happy so why is she on dating sites?
Q. I have been dating for just over 3 years. For the past 9 months I have been finding bits about her being on dating sites again. I caught her out on one last year and her aggression after being unable to carry on denying it when I asked her, caused a ...
A. 17 October 2012: Hi
Ofcourse shes happy, you forgave her and she is still doing what split you up.In other words she has got you while she looks for somebody else.
Why else would somebody use Dating Sites?... (read in full...)
How can I get my family and friends to accept my 25 year old pregnant Gf / future wife and all understand all that she means to me?
Q. my family and friends will not accept that my 25 year old girlfriend soon to be wife is in love with me and wants to be with me. they call her horrible insulting names. yea i cheated on my wife of many many years, and left her for this girl. i...
A. 17 October 2012: Hi
I think you have to see it from their point of view, you cheated with her and she knew you were married,she's only in her 20s.She's pregnant which means your going to be supporting her and your child for years~whether the marriage lasts or... (read in full...)
Is he still a player? My new Boyfriend has promised he has stopped sending sexual emails to a woman.
Q. I started dating a 50 yr old man four months ago. We hit it off quickly. He was telling me he loved and adored me within two weeks. He has no children and never married. I recently read emails he had been sending the first two months we were dat...
A. 17 October 2012: Hi
I would give him one last chance to prove himself, it could be he wants to finally settle down, perhaps he knows he can't be a player in 5 or 10 years and is ready,has met his match in you.If his life has been spent flirting and 'playing... (read in full...)
How can I get over someone I still love? And did I make a terrible mistake?
Q. Hi all Ive been with my partner for four years now- its been a distance relationship..seeing each other weekends only and it has not always an easy thing. But we have had amazing times. Neither of us were willing to give up good jobs that w...
A. 17 October 2012: Hi
Its a hard situation to be in.
Long distance relationships have to be about compramise on BOTH sides.One or both of you could have looked for another job,still can,to cut out the commute.A jobs' merely a means to an end, a person you love ... (read in full...)
Can I trust my g/f not to cheat on me? She lied to me!
Q. ok so i've been with my girl friend 5 months and she is the girl of my dreams and i believe she loves me also. thing is she was with somebody for 8 years and not been happy for a long time. we started seeing each other so she was cheating on this ...
A. 17 October 2012: Hi
People (men and women)who cheat are totally selfish,they only ever think of their needs and wants.If they want out of a bad relatinship they look for somebody to move on WITH as they can't be alone or they are not strong enough people to survi... (read in full...)
I caught my fiance in white lies. Should I be concerned?
Q. Once my fiance had to go to a late emergency meeting at his work. He runs the place. I told him I was going to bed early since I was tired. Before I went to bed I looked out the window and I noticed he was back, outside in front of the house ...
A. 17 October 2012: Hi
Its clear you don't trust him at all, you go to long lengths to check up on what he tells you constantly.
Without that trust you have no solid base for a relationship,you face years of double checking everything he tells you IF you marry him... (read in full...)
I think my younger friend is trying to let me down gently. How can I expand my circle of friends?
Q. Hi I am 61 and had a crush on a fellow half my age -and we became platonic friends and e mailed occasionally and WHEN he came to the city we met for a coffee or lunch which I always paid for-he did offer though. He is a singer and no qualms abou...
A. 16 October 2012: Hi
Good for you for going for it and meeting him! It was a brief interlude though and time to move forward now.
I think you need like minded people,you certainly sound adventurous enough to get out there.There are lots of people of simila... (read in full...)
He's perfect -- except that we can't have kids
Q. Ok - I have a slight issue... lol I really like older men - like REALLY like them. 3 previous relationships have always had a 20 year age gap. Is this normal?? Now I've started seeing a guy who is early 40's and he's everything I am looking...
A. 16 October 2012: Hi
It's expensive but a vasectomy can be reversed. Has he said a definate 'no' to having children?
If he has, then only you know how important having a family is to you and if you can honestly live without having any.... (read in full...)
We've been fighting and he's texting someone late at night. Plus he says we're "on a break'. Should we stay together?
Q. My boyfriend and I are on a break. However we are still living together, it's awkward. We have been fighting a lot, especially in the last few months, and we have only been together for 8 months, living together for 6. Tensions were high and I ...
A. 16 October 2012: Hi
You've been together 8 months, you've been fighting for months, your definately not compatable.
You moved in together before you even knew each other,he is only home after work,weekends he vanishes.Hes texting somebody late at night.
He ... (read in full...)
When her ex needs someone to talk to she is the one he calls!
Q. Me and my girlfriend are doing great at the moment,except for one thing that has been really bothering me. She went out with this guy for a year and a half and broke up with him more than a year ago. However, this guy would contact her when...
A. 14 October 2012: Hi
Yes I would agree with you, its a little too close for comfort and a little too soon after the break-up.Your her partner now and you should be her priority.
I have had a similar problem in the past with a guy.Ex's seemed to pop out of the w... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 14 October 2012: Hi
'I haven't heard from him since he left my town last Sunday'
'I tried to call him tonight and he didn't answer'
My thoughts - it's over.It is very hard to let go but I think you need to. x... (read in full...)
Divorced partner has asked me to move into ex marital home but its full of reminders of his ex wife. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm middle aged and have been dating a man for over two years. I have my own house, which is paid for. He also has a house that after his divorce he bought with a girlfriend. I recently found out, that when he was married they wer...
A. 14 October 2012: Hi
I would tell him to clear the house of 'their' things and together re-decorate,re-furnish. IF he agrees then you could rent your place out for say 12 months, rather than sell it.Give you something to go back to should it not work out
If he w... (read in full...)
Why has this guy cooled off? He said he loved me and still wants to see me.
Q. I'm at a loss. I've been seeing this guy since end of July. He said he loved me after 5 weeks. I was surprised but said it back. For the last month. He hasn't seen me much. Whereas before it was once a week, or once every 4 days. He is busy wit...
A. 14 October 2012: Hi
It doesn't matter that he works nights,has family drama or any other excuse.
The simple fact is he is not making time for YOU.He has time to go on FB, time off work too as nobody does nights without a break, or days come to that.
Forget ... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 13 October 2012: Hi
You know you do not have to feel guilty about ending this.
He has been through divorce,a major life changer,he has lost his Dad,another major event.Hes moved house too.
None of these are your events, they are his.Add to that the pres... (read in full...)
Why has this guy cooled off? He said he loved me and still wants to see me.
Q. I'm at a loss. I've been seeing this guy since end of July. He said he loved me after 5 weeks. I was surprised but said it back. For the last month. He hasn't seen me much. Whereas before it was once a week, or once every 4 days. He is busy wit...
A. 12 October 2012: Hi
Sounds like he's cooling off, nobodys busy 24/7,if they want to see somebody they will make time.As you were only meeting up about once a week anyway he could keep that up surely?
Next time he wants to see you do not be available but sa... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 12 October 2012: Hi
As you say he has had alot to deal with,plus the house not fetching nearly as much as they thought.
He flew to see you,took you out,booked into a hotel for the night,spent quality time with you, all because it was your birthday. Sounds... (read in full...)
| *ldbag's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ldbag has
added them and they have added *ldbag!
|
