A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am looking for a committed relationship but I don't know how.. I am tired of the games,lies, cheating the whole nine yards.i mean I am getting older time is running thin, not that I'm older than dust, but I am 40 now and I think it's time to get in the dating scene again.i don't deal with blind dates they always turn out to be drunks, druggies,or womenbeaters or all three.I'm not an angel I have done my part but it was out of it being done to me now I want love the kind that I don't mind doing for and the same coming from him to me.But now adays it's hard to find a good man because they are holding on to a woman that don't deserve them and the same for women.
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (24 September 2012):
 I agree with ciar and was wondering the same thing... Where do you meet these blind date losers that are wife beaters? I've been on many blind dates and never had any of those issues. Boring and unattractive maybe, but nothing as serious as what you are saying. I would suggest you try out online dating. A reputable site, NOT a free site. Match.com and eharmony are good ones, I met my husband on match when I decided to get serious about meeting someone who was equally serious. I, like you, was over the crap relationships and liars and was looking for someone of substance. That's why a dating site helped. The free ones you get anyone... It takes no effort to make a free profile and most people on there are looking for just a hook up. But a man who is serious about finding love will pay and make the effort a reputable site requires. I'd reccomend at least trying that for a bit. It does no harm and opens up your options, also you can look through profiles and find people who have similar interests as you do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2012): Thanks everyone for the feedback one day my prince will come:)
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 September 2012):
 If the only men you encounter on blind dates are drunks, druggies and woman beaters then I would take a closer look at the places you meet these men or the friends who introduce you. I've been out on plenty of dates (years ago) and none were anything like what you describe.
My advice is to take a course or join some kind of group that allows you to pursue some of your interests or discover new ones. Do not go with the sole purpose of meeting a man because they will smell that desperation and steer clear of you.
Ask yourself what kind of man you want to be with? I don't mean 'respectful, loving, honest' since hose are qualities you want in anyone, but something more specific. How would you like to spend your time together? What interests would he have? What kind of philosophy do you find the most compatible with yours? Then figure out where that sort of man would be and go there.
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (24 September 2012):
I've got women friends who are single because they have given up based on a few bad experiences. Deep down they do want to meet someone but they are not being proactive.
It's just a matter of meeting enough people from which to choose. So that means getting out there and socialising or speed dating or careful internet dating. And it might not happen immediately but if you don't do anything it won't happen at all.
Go out with a positive attitude. Everyone you meet adds something to your mindset or your life in someway. All social interaction is good for you so don't see any of these experiences as wastes of time. Persist and you will eventually meet someone.
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (24 September 2012):
 you have to think about your attitude and how you are meeting people. there are a lot of unsuitable partners in the world. you have to find a way of just meeting people without expectations. social groups and clubs where you can just chat to many is good. don't look to hard and the one you love will be in your face before you know it.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (24 September 2012):
 Hi
Don't give up hope, took me years of frogs to find somebody worth giving time to and it is mutual. He is nothing like my usual,nor my ex's so maybe that is the secret,who knows.He took me by surprise and for now I know contentment.Or maybe I just finally grew up.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (24 September 2012):
 I am not sure what your question is, but I too, know how you feel. I currently have someone I am seeing, but I am not sure I will ever get married or live with anyone. I thought my ex was the love of my life. Everything seemed right and we were both happy. Then things changed. It took a long time to get over him and I am still not sure I am completely over him. I have had other boyfriends who were long-term as well, and they have fallen through. I think being happy with yourself helps. My ex was that deep connection I haven't seemed to find with anyone else...current boyfriend included. I would love to be able to have that kind of connection with someone else, but I realize it may not happen. I am 40 too, so I know what you are going through.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (24 September 2012):
 I understand how you feel,
i felt the same way
until i met my current partner,
which shows there is hope for us all :)
I think the key is to be realistic but not lose faith. If you are thinking like this, there's got to be a guy who thinks the same way as you out there!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2012): I don't want to sound mean about this type of thing and I sympathise with you but look back on the last 20 years, how many times have you had a man that you would have no problem keeping if they had turned up today professing their love?I often wonder how many other women out there turn their back on their boyfriend, or treat them badly, cheat etc. then wonder where all the good men are now that they have fewer choices. True love for me is subjective. I have met women who I would put the house on that they were the only person for me. Fastforward a year or so and they turned out to be the exact opposite. I now think true love is about timing. You have to make the most of your opportunities. Someone will come along for you, but I would suggest you look at different ways of identifying and searching for them. Maybe stay away from bars, and become the person that would suit the type that you are trying to attract. Remember the definition of insanity is conducting the same experiment and hoping for a different result.
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