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If he has time to spend with his friends, why didn't he have time to call me?

Tagged as: Friends, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 September 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi

Currently im in LDR with my bf, since he travelled to a different place for work. He will be returning back in 2 months. We are in LDR for 3 months, been seeing each other for 2 years.

3 days back my bf told me not to call him for 3 days, since he is busy with his work and he has a deadline. Hence i never called, when i sent him a message yesterday asking whether his work got over. He replied that it got over and he is partying with his friends. Said he'll call me after some time.

He never called till now, my question is, if he has time to spend with his friends, y didnt he have time to call me. He often does that, he often ignores me and when i ask, he brushes off saying im being clingy.

I dont think im clingy, i just want him to give me priority rather than keep me as an option. Is it so wrong even to ask him to give me importance. Please help me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2012):

I agree with ob and wrap. Your defo not clingy, for me a relationship is either two way or Noway and that then signify's the highway...

I'd give him some of his own medicine, make a point of going out for a weekend with a good friend, text and say I'm busy over the weekend but I'll text you Monday then wait until Tuesday.. See how that makes him feel for a change.

If he's snissed then so be it, he left you feeling rotten, I wouldn't normal say its tit for tat, but in his case, he deserves it..

I would in any case start thinking the worse, I.e is he seeing someone else and prepare myself by going out taking up new hobbies, and opening up new horizons for myself. I would however be hoping for the best, that he just being a jerk and that a good sit down convo is needed with both sides open to listening and him not making up lame excuses that you are Clinging, which you are not...

Wishing you the best..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2012):

If he really is a gentleman he would have called you the minute he knew his work was over. Why should we, girls, always have to understand the man and not get that in return. Guys should understand that when we're being taken optional we feel so terrible. Even though they're not fooling around but they have to keep in contact just for our sake.

So i think the only solution to this problem is communication. Tell him how you feel about him being changed. Guys musn't be selfish! Hope this is gonna work 4 u!

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (22 September 2012):

I think many girlfriends/wives just do not understand their bf's form of bonding with their friends. Guys generally do not call their gf's when they are with their friends and it is usually nice and pleasantly mature when girl friends can understand a guy's need to just have fun with their guy friends. NO he's not with another girl, NO he's not cheating on you, NO he's not trying to irritate you or ruin the relationship. He said to not call him so just wait till he msgs you or so. Be patient instead of irritating yourself and letting your thoughts get the better of you.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (22 September 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

A clingy person would have been texting or calling him during the 3 days he was busy, so no, I don't think your that type at all.Sounds like he is enjoying his freedom and the distance just a little too much.

While you dont need to be his priority ALL the time, you should be treated with respect,he should keep in touch and a call before he started partying would have been good.Hes the one in a new place so things have changed in his life,you are waiting at home,without his company, so time will go slower for you.

Its a difficult one as he did ring you eventually BUT everything seems to be in his time on his terms and hes going to be away for another 2 months.You can either keep busy and get on with your life,giving HIM a back seat,not being 'available' every time he rings,or finish it now,giving yourself time to get over him before he's back.

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A female reader, wap United States +, writes (22 September 2012):

If he is not calling you, he is probally occupied. From my experience it may be a another female. Men do not except or make call when thery are with the opposite sex. I hope you are not hurt by this. Believe me I have been hurt enough for both of us from my experiences. Bless you!

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