A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. So I'm 24 and living at home. Lately I have been so frustrated and I'm very impatient with my mum.I have been snapping at her and feel fed up with the constant questions of everyday life. I never moved out for uni as it was just a 15min bus journey away. I graduated from uni and haven't found a proper job yet. Still weekend job. Is my attitude normal? I feel like she still treats me like a kid. I don't tell her I love her anymore but I know I still do as she is my mum afterall and owe loads to her.I need to stop snapping at her and just relax. Any advice please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): You probably would do well to get a place of your own soon when you put your degree to good use ( I know it's not easy) finding the work you want and at least you are working part time. When you have a place you could then spend quality time with mum and invite her round for dinner. Not good,still living at home at 24
While you are still at home you could offer to help out a bit, wash up, cook, pick up, empty bins, etc.
spunky monkey.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (26 September 2012):
 hi
You just stop,count to ten when you are going to snap,let the moment pass,divert the conversation.
To get to the root of it all you need to talk, from your Mums point of view she's been caring for you for years,maybe she thought you would be gone,independant and in your own home now? Perhaps she wants to see you in full-time work and getting on in life as an adult.In her eyes your still as dependant on her, the home, as you always were.She will only want the best for you.
I understand the problems regarding finding a job,being a graduate doesnt guarantee one I know enough of them who have been in your situation for a while,but got something eventually.Have you tried for an internship? Have you looked everywhere in the UK for one? Have you done voluntary work in the field you want?
Try to be patient with your Mum,maybe take her to lunch or buy her some flowers,then talk.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (25 September 2012):
 I can get irritable at times and act the same way. What I do is wait until I've calmed down and apologize for snapping then explain why. You can tell her you are sorry for being irritable and just tend to get frustrated when she ____. Whatever it is she says that frustrates you. Then when it comes up again try to keep it to yourself. Give short answers to show you aren't interested in talking right now, but don't be rude or start snapping at her. The other day I was feeling irritated with my husband and he was standing right over me watching me cook. Rather than yell or snap to get away from me, I calmly asked if he could check on the bread. I try to just keep it to myself most of the time and when I can't he understands I'm in an irritable mood and will back off. Your mom needs to be talked to and learn the same thing. You aren't abnormal but you should apologize to her. I always feel guilty after I snap back when it isn't called for.
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